I received a comment on one of my blogs from a girl named Alicia. What she had to say really made me think:
“I love your show. I am 14 years and I listen to your show as much as I can. I had a hard time last year because one boy I like was at the bowling alley and made me do nasty stuff that I really didn't want to do.”
Her note reminded me of similar stories I’ve heard many, many times before. She met this boy she really liked. But by the time their relationship ended, she felt used and probably ashamed. Why? Because, “[he] made me do nasty stuff that I really didn’t want to do.”
It makes me wonder what her ex-boyfriend was thinking. Why did he push her to do things sexually that violated and hurt her? Maybe he felt like he was in love with her, and wanted his sexual passion to become even more intense. But the truth is, he did not really love her. You see, love never demands someone to do something that would violate another. Love does not trash someone else’s deeply held values. The term love is one of the most misunderstood and abused words in the dictionary. Sometimes, when a guy says to a girl, “I love you,” he is really saying, “I don’t love you. I love me and what sexual favors you do for me.”
When a guy really loves a girl, he will do everything he can to protect her. Someone once said, “Love can always wait to give. Lust can’t wait to get.” I don’t really know what Alicia’s ex-boyfriend was saying to her. My guess is he told her he loved her and if she loved him, she would do things he wanted her to do. He was lying to her, or he was terribly confused. I often say on my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, something very simple: “Don’t listen to what a guy says. Watch what he does.” Whatever Alicia’s ex-boyfriend said to her, his actions proved him wrong. I believe in guys (I happen to be one myself), but I’m tired of some guys using girls just for their own cheap thrills. Next week, I want to blog about why girls often give in to guys sexually when they shouldn’t.
05-25-2007 12:00 AM