I have for some time now been wanting to blog about love vs. lust. You see, I find so many people who call my radio show confused between the two. Love is the most abused word in the human language, while lust can cause confusion and destruction in all of our lives. So often I will hear a caller say, “I am in love.” When in reality, it is not love at all. Sometimes it’s infatuation. Other times it’s nothing more than raw lust. There are times I want to yell into the microphone at my studio and say to the caller, “Don’t call it love because it’s not!”
As you read this blog, I want you to really think with me on what I’m about to say. It may challenge your thinking and feelings, but in the end it could clear up a lot of confusion and save you from a lot of pain. For the next few weeks, I want to blog about two very difficult, but powerful topics – lust and love.
Lust literally means over desire.
So what is lust? Lust literally means over desire. It is when you take something that is good, twist it, and add cravings to it until you are consumed with what you want to have.When we speak of lust as it relates to relationships with the opposite sex, it can be defined this way - when a person’s body is far more important than their soul.
This last week, I received some awesome definitions of lust from the comments on my last blog:
“Lust is selfishly dwelling on and fantasizing about sexual activities or entertaining sexually arousing thoughts with no thoughts of the other person's feelings. Love doesn't lust.” (Jonathan)
“Lust is when you look at someone with passion for their body. And don’t really see who they truly are or who they want to be other than your trophy and toy.” (Megan)
“Love lasts forever but lust only lasts for awhile.” (Deanna)
As I researched this topic of Lust, I have found many definitions. I’ve listened some below.
- “…causes the brain to produce the same reaction as if on cocaine or speed. Lust really is like a drug, it leaves you wanting more.” (Dr. Jon Marsden - Director of the National Addiction Center).
- Is nothing like love.
- Comes quickly and leaves quickly.
- Only wants to get into bed with you.
- Is a craving for self gratification, usually sexual.
- Focuses only on the outward appearance.
- Is impatient.
- Is rude and manipulates.
- Seeks to get and never give.
- Doesn’t care about others.
- Is jealous and insecure.
- Seeks revenge and doesn’t forgive.
- Covers up and lies about wrongdoings.
- Will do whatever it wants to get its way.
- Leaves when it’s no longer getting.
Every person who has ever dated or lived has struggled with lust. If you haven’t yet, you will. Would you please send me your story about how you have dealt with lust. Next week, I want to talk a lot more about this and your stories are priceless. So I leave you with these questions:
Have you ever liked someone a lot and found out they only wanted you for your body?
Have you ever thought you loved someone but realized it was only lust?
02-07-2008 12:00 AM