I’ve spent the last few weeks blogging about how to show respect to others. It’s been exciting to see your response to these blogs. The fact of the matter is we all crave respect, no matter who we are. Yet it is very difficult to respect others, unless you respect you and I respect ourselves.
It’s been said, “You can’t like another person, until you like yourself.” This is what I’d like to blog about this week. How can you show yourself the same kind of respect you want to show others and want them to show you? By respecting yourself.
How Do You Respect Yourself?
Don’t let other people’s thoughts about you shape who you are. There are many people who allow themselves to be forever shaped but what others have said or done to them. How sad. These people easily become approval addicts. They look to others for their self-esteem. It’s like they are saying, “Please love me, so I can love myself. Please accept me, so I can accept myself.” These people will always seem to feel a shortage of self-respect, because they never allow themselves to break free from the grip of others.
If you say to yourself, “I am a person worth loving and respecting,” you will start to believe it about yourself.
“Respecting yourself is to love who you are and love your personality.”
Don’t speak badly about yourself. Don’t let your mistakes or weaknesses define who you are. Don’t say, “I’m a loser, no one loves me, I hate myself.” You will soon believe what you say. On the other hand, if you say to yourself, “I am a person worth loving and respecting,” you will start to believe it about yourself. Remind yourself of your strengths and the qualities you have to offer others. Ericka has some insight into how she has learned to respect herself. “I made friends with people like me, got rid of friends that put me down, and before I knew it, I was happier then ever before. No one can truly understand the way you think, the way you do things and act. Being different is a blessing, not a curse. So, respecting yourself is to love who you are and love your personality.”
Don’t let anybody force you to be or do anything you don’t want to do or be, simply to gain their approval or friendship.There is an old saying that says, “To yourself, always be true.” This isn’t a me-first kind of thinking that reeks of arrogance. It means not letting other people tell you what to do or think. Cynthia agrees with Ericka that to respect yourself, you have to know who you are. “You need to know your strengths, weaknesses, and your emotions really well. You need to get more familiar with yourself and not become something that others want you to be, because that does not in any way show that you respect yourself cause you'd be willing to change just to please [others].” I agree with this, unless we’re talking about God or your parents encouraging you to be the person they see you have the potential of becoming.
“You need to get more familiar with yourself and not become something that others want you to be.”
“If you think better, you will act better. And if you act better, you will feel better.”
Don’t violate your own moral codes. There will always be people who treat themselves with poor self-respect, because they have done disrespectful things or violated their own moral code and hate themselves for it. There is a saying among some psychologists which states, “If you think better, you will act better. And if you act better, you will feel better.” I couldn’t agree more. The opposite is also true. If you think poorly, you will act poorly. And if you act poorly, you will feel poorly. Your self-respect will be extremely low and unhappiness will be your constant companion.
This is just the beginning of ways to respect yourself. This is an extremely important subject. That is why I’ve decided to blog about this subject again next week. But I need your help. Please comment to me about ways you have found to help boost your self-respect. Thanks for being such an important part of these blogs. I love hearing from you. I couldn’t do this without you.
09-25-2008 12:00 AM