In my previous blog, I talked about three things to do to help you stop lying: Admit you have a problem, Remind yourself of how lying messes up your life, and Tell someone when you lie. As promised, I want to give you a few more solutions to help put an end to this dreadful habit.
Deliberately broken promises are lies that lead to broken hearts.
- Be realistic about what you promise others. Deliberately broken promises are lies that lead to broken hearts. Many lies begin as a way to cover up the fact we can’t possibly do everything we said we were going to do. Be honest about what you’re capable of doing, admitting to yourself and others your limitations, and you won’t feel a need to lie.
- Talk to others about their expectations of you. You may have parents, friends or teachers who you think are expecting too much out of you. This causes you to feel like you must lie about how you’ve fallen short of their expectations. Come to agreement about what is reasonable for them to expect, without selling yourself short. Kierra said: “When I was 15, I lied to my parents all the time and it definitely affected their trust with me. Now I’m almost 19 and I’m still rebuilding the trust I have with them. It’s not an easy thing to get back once you break it.”
Wrong actions almost always lead to lies.
- Try to figure out what pressured you to lie. What were you trying to hide? What would have been a better way to tell the truth? For example, all addicts feel they must lie to cover up their addiction. The more they cover up their addiction, the better they get at lying, and deceiving. Almost every lie has a reason behind it. Why we lie, it may feel like a good reason, it’s just not a good enough one. Wrong actions almost always lead to lies. The reason Hannah lies is to control people around her. That in itself can be an addiction. “I try not to lie but if I see someone that I like pulling away from me because they think I’m weird I’ll start telling lies to get me closer to them. I end up living this horrible lie.”
The more we tell others the truth, the easier it is to continue to do it.
- Practice telling the truth.When you start to feel the urge to lie, stop and think for a moment. Think about what the other person would feel about you if they knew you were lying. Think about how you would feel if people lied to you all the time. And then, as painful as it may seem, tell the truth. The more we tell others the truth, the easier it is to continue to do it. Lying is a bad habit. Telling the truth is a good habit. Work on breaking your bad habit by replacing it with a good one. Angel said: “It spreads like wildfire when someone is caught lying. Then when the person is actually telling the truth, no one will believe them because they have told so many lies. For the sake of your family, friends, and loved ones—always tell the truth even if you are afraid of the outcome!"
The freedom of the truth will be liberating.
- Commit to a life of honesty, at all costs. Telling the truth might be horribly uncomfortable for you, but you’re starting to walk down a path of honesty and integrity, turning yourself into the person you desire to be. If you don’t know the answer to a question, don’t lie and make something up. Say, “I don’t know.” The freedom of the truth will be liberating. Kerry said: “I've seen what lying can do. I try to be as honest with people as I can, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings any more than the next person does. But even though the truth hurts, deceiving someone hurts a lot more. And being honest has made my life so much happier.”
As you wake up to the reality of what you’re saying and doing, you will soon quit it altogether. I promise, if you put forth effort to stop this toxic and destructive habit right now, you’ll be grateful for the rest of your life.
My last blog in this topic will be next week as I write about the value of living an honest life. What do you think are the rewards of being honest? Please let me know your thoughts. I really like putting your quotes in my blog! Your ideas and experiences help make my blog so much better. Thank you for your contribution.
09-11-2009 3:00 AM