142. Help! I’m A Single Mom!


Is there room for hope that things will get better? With God’s help, there is always hope.

It’s hard to be a parent. But to be a single parent, is even more challenging. If you are a single parent trust me when I say, you are definitely not alone! There are nearly 14 million single parents in the US, and a vast majority of the load of raising their kids is being carried by the mothers. Many people I talk to on my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, are single mothers simply trying to find ways to cope. Trying to find ways to bring in enough money, take care of the responsibilities of a house or apartment, and still allow their children to have the life they long for them to have. It can be overwhelming. That’s why I wanted to address this important issue. 

In being a responsible single mom you are saying, my life is no longer my own.

So, how does one become a successful single mom? Especially when all you feel is overwhelmed and stressed-out? Is there room for hope that things will get better? With God’s help, there is always hope. Here are some thoughts to help you not only survive, but also to thrive! 

1. Realize your life will never be quite the same again. My mama used to say, “People make their choices, and their choices make them.” She used to also say, “When you say yes to one thing, you may be saying no 

Nothing will more radically change your day-to-day life than being a single mother.

to something else.” For whatever reason, however it came about, if you are a single mom, you said yes to putting yourself in a situation where you could become a single parent. And becoming a parent changes everything. 

Rhea says that she has been a single Mom for two years now. 
“It is not an easy road. The added responsibility sucks the life out of a person because you're dealing with many issues: dealing with childcare while you're working, the many times you may have to miss work due to sickness of your kids, 

Until you reach that place where you realize that your life will never be the same again, both you and your children will suffer.

the instability of support you may receive, making enough money to support yourself and your kids AND find a little extra in there somewhere for a little recreation.” 

In being a responsible single mom you are saying, my life is no longer my own. I have to think about my child first before I think about myself. Every decision I make has to be based on how it will affect my child(ren), which includes: who you date, what you do with your free time, your education, your extended family, your living situation, and in fact, every aspect of your life. Nothing will more radically change your day-to-day life than being a single mother. It’s not easy accepting all that responsibility and change. But it’s well worth it. At the end of the day, what’s more important than your children? 

Until you reach that place where you realize that your life will never be the same again, both you and your children will suffer. Every single mom has to answer the question: “Outside of my relationship with God, are my priorities focused on my children first?” 

Next week, I’m going to talk about issues single mothers face in their relationships with men. For example, how should she deal with the birth father? How much should he be involved in your kid’s life? When is it ok to date again, and who do you decide to date? 
Please tell me your story of your relationship with men as a single mom.

 

 


Posted 04-30-2010 3:00 AM by Dawson

Comments

Admin wrote re: Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 05-03-2010 3:53 PM |

I think this topic will be of great use Dawson!

empty blue eyes wrote re: Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 05-09-2010 9:48 PM |

i feel that she will make it but it won't be easy. but she can do it ...

Katelyn wrote re: Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 05-09-2010 11:12 PM |

I know that being a single mom can't be easy. I grew up with a single mom. It wasn't easy, but things can work out. When I was little, my mom was working as a waitress and lost her job. We almost lost our house. You never forget something like that. But being a single mother isn't always a bad thing. I really love and appreciate my mom because of what she did for me. I know that she made the right decision in being a single mom. Every single mom out there just needs to hang in there, because things WILL get better.

Lily wrote re: Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 05-10-2010 12:09 AM |

It's hard being a single mother and a lot easier said then done.

John wrote re: Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 05-10-2010 9:38 AM |

It really isn't easy being a single mother. It's can be (and usually is) difficult, exhausting, and mentally and physically demanding of any mother in that position. But, in all honesty, I've never seen a better moniker for the resourcefulness, ingenuity, and strength of human nature than the single mother.

You're truly, truly extraordinary people for surviving the trials of parenthood -on your own- (but support from family and friends is always a plus), and if that doesn't speak for your character, I don't know what does. If there's anyone that's new to this situation, just remember that others before you HAVE DONE THIS. With a firm support, and a healthy dose of patience and self-confidence, you can too.

mandy wrote re: Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 05-17-2010 7:07 AM |

I became a Christian not long before I became a single mom-I wanted marriage he didnt so we split. Thankfully the father has always been involved in his childs life. Financially it hasnt always been easy but God has always provided. Its been several years since we split and I havent been on one date. I only want marriage and it has been hard to find somebody with the same values. Anytime I have brought up the idea of dating my child gets really defensive and jealous-saying "no I dont want anyone around my mom". I know that a relationship will happen one day and I want my child to be prepared so we have recently started talking about it more and planning before it happens. I've told him how I feel about it and listened to how he felt. My child still has some resistance about it but I'm glad that we started talking about it now before it happens. I think it is a preparation process and may ease tensions. Hope this helps :)

Jojo wrote re: Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 05-17-2010 10:13 AM |

Before I got adopted my mother was a single mother and treated me horribly. If people are single mothers just make sure you treat your kid correctly. I understand that it is a really hard time financially. Just treat your kids with respect and it won't be that hard.

Johnny wrote re: Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 05-24-2010 2:30 PM |

Way too often when a single woman is faced with motherhood, she panics. The first thing to do is to get your bearings straight, and that means you will have to set your emotions and fears aside. Fear and emotion are two worse factors in any person's life, no matter what they may be up against. If fear is ruling and if emotions are running high, or amuck, then, you will suffer at their hands. You need to bring these factors under control, and this can be accomplished by turning directly to the Lord, for 'where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty'. You will find things will come into a clearer perspective when you focus your thought and energy on the Lord. May His Peace be with you.  

Stephanie wrote re: Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 05-31-2010 8:22 PM |

Being a single mother is hard but but equally rewarding. I wish I had more support from family though. My adopted parents told me to go away and give my baby up and then come back to the family and act like nothing happened. I didnt and they didnt see her till she was nearly a year old! But regardless, my daughter changed me for the best!

Shaina wrote re: Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 06-06-2010 8:36 PM |

i am a single mother and it is really hard but i am trying my best to support my child the best i can especially since i am all alone in it due to his dad giving hm up

Lily wrote re: 142. Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 06-21-2010 5:29 PM |

I am a single mother. It's really hard and lonely. My child's father does nothing for her and never comes to see her.  I get really frustrated and depressed sometimes but I'm determined to be a good mother to my daughter.

Diane wrote re: 142. Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 08-29-2010 10:23 PM |

It's so hard to be a single mom. I work 6-7 days a week and childcare is a nightmare since I no longer have family that is available to watch my daughter like I did when I lived near my grandma. The thought of her father makes me sick and it's probably best that he has chosen to move across the country and have nothing to do with her, but lately I've thought how much easier it would be if there were two people involved in this whole thing.

Nailo wrote re: 142. Help! I’m A Single Mom!
on 12-08-2010 4:40 PM |

Being a single parent is tough, i know this from experiance. i have been a single father for 3 1/2 years now. I can say though that i wouldnt give up a single moment of it if i had the chance. I dont mean to put anyone down cause its tough for anyone, but over the years i oersonaly have been denied alot of the same help offered to single mothers, BECAUSE i wasnt a "MOTHER". But for all you mothers out there killing yourselves for your childs sake, i salute you. you know what i mean when i say "THE LOOK" makes it all worth it. :)