157. What is Anger?


There’s no escaping the reality of anger. It affects everybody at one time or another. Over the many years I’ve been in talk radio, I’ve become convinced at least half of those who have called me are in some way angry, or have suffered as a result of someone else’s rage. There are literally millions of people whose lives have all but been destroyed because of the monster within, anger.


And yet, there are so many people who don’t recognize how angry they really are, or even how they are expressing it. Much less, how it is affecting every aspect of their lives, including all their relationships.


It’s a deep feeling of displeasure, hostility or antagonism towards someone or something we think has hurt us.

So what is anger?
Anger is an emotion that can be very powerful and all consuming. It’s a deep feeling of displeasure, hostility or antagonism towards someone or something we think has hurt us. Anger usually has with it a desire to get even, or hurt back.

 

Anger can be so powerful that it can even affect us physically. For example, anger increases heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of adrenaline. Its affect on the body’s nervous system can lead to a weakened heart and stiffer arteries. There’s also potential for liver and kidney damage, as well as high cholesterol. Anger may bring along other issues like depressions or anxiety. Some scientists think that chronic anger may be more dangerous than smoking and obesity as a factor that will contribute to an early death.


Ultimately, anger is a reaction to feeling hurt, weak, vulnerable, or belittled in some way by someone or something. We use anger to help us feel strong and in control, and to help mask our feelings of hurt and weakness. When you see an angry person, you see a hurt person using anger to try and make up for all the pain.


Jenny wrote: “One of the things that makes me angry a lot is not knowing a single thing about my birth father. And how much not having him in my life affected my life growing up and how I am with guys since I have never had a father figure to show me how it is to be loved by a man the right way.”


When you see an angry person, you see a hurt person using anger to try and make up for all the pain.

Jenny is obviously hurt. She feels abandoned by her birth father who she has never met. Not only that, but she has never had a father figure in her life. Jenny’s anger helps her make up the difference between her desire to feel loved and accepted, and her feeling so weak and neglected.

 

I would like to know what makes you angry the most. And what you do when you get angry. Please tell me by commenting below. You making the list will help you understand more of the deeper reasons you may be angry. When it comes to anger there’s so much to talk about. So let’s talk more about it in my next blog.


 

 


 

 

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Posted 09-03-2010 6:39 AM by Dawson

Comments

Ana wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 10:00 AM |

I've become an angry person, because I learned it from my mom, who is always getting mad at everything and yelling. However all the anger I get I take it on myself and I start cutting myself. I don't like to show others I'm angry for something they did, because I always think i'ts my fault.

Meg wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 6:37 PM |

Agreed. Anger can be dangerous if mishandled. Heck, anger is always dangerous!

lovemyshihtzu wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 9:38 PM |

What makes me the most angry is fake people who pretend to be your friend, but they really talk about you behind your back. Also liars.

Chelsie (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 9:49 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? Computers lagging.

Shawnee (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 9:50 PM |

What makes me ANGRY?  being ignored

Ali (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 9:52 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? fake people& liars

Ashley (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 9:53 PM |

What makes me ANGRY?  I hate it when people criticize me & have no idea what I go through-it makes me so mad!! Or when someone comes to my house & destroys it-I like my house neat!

Jane (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 9:55 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? not being able to control my emotions.

Michael (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 9:57 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? Not getting an internship when being told you basically had it at the interview. Lol

Haley (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 9:58 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? Abusers & Cheaters. When I get mad I clean, sing, or write.

Angela (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 9:59 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? liars and two faced people

Ashley (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 10:01 PM |

What I do when I get angry? I usually just tell those people to keep their mouth off me until they can take a walk in my shoes and then stay away from the person-they're not worth my time!

Tim (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 10:03 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? gurls who say they love you and they play u thats wat i hate ik theres some gurls out here that dnt do that how can u love some one over and overagian and they dnt say anything back how can u sit there and say u love that person and would do watever for that person and it turns out to be a lie how can u poor out ur heart and soul like i did and the other person turns around and messes around wid an other guy how if any can help plz i dnt know wat to do she is always on my mind i dnt know wat to do

Carolyn (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 10:05 PM |

What makes me ANGRY?  Fake and people who seem to have no common sense..

Brenda (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 10:07 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? Humm, I would say Cheaters, Liars, To solve that problem I read, listen to music and journal my feelings out, I trust god's help to get me thru things and handle my emotions better

Kyle (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 10:09 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? loud eating habits

Robert (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 10:10 PM |

What makes me ANGRY?  losing a capture the flag game in modern warfare2

Beth (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 10:11 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? people that have kids and dont take care of them!!! Or abuse and neglect them! Or just have them to get money. I cant stand it! No child deserves to be treated that way. They cant help theirself..the parents, however, can!

Shay (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 10:13 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? just about everything!!!

Becky (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 10:15 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? friends that ditch u just to be cool.

Tara (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 10:18 PM |

What makes me ANGRY?  parents that act like they dont have kids and use their friends as free babysitters. and parents that put dating before their kids!!!

Jenna wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-04-2010 11:39 PM |

All the mistakes my boyfriend has made, mostly the ones he's made before we started dating.  They fill me with a lot of rage because it hurts me.

Then I strike out and verbally cut him down to hurt him the way his mistakes hurt me.

Chenequia (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 5:18 AM |

What makes me ANGRY? Arrogant , ignorant people who dont care about how other people feel or wat they say makes me angry

Brenda (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 5:41 AM |

What makes me ANGRY?  Helping people, giving them the shirt off your back if necessary and then they turn around and steal from you! And lie right to your face! That makes me really angry!

Sara (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 7:12 AM |

What makes me ANGRY? I get angry when ppl dismiss my opinions as though I havent lived 25yrs on this earth and cant possibly know what Im talking about. I also hate being judged based on misleading info from other ppl who dont know me. When I get angry I tend to lash out, drink and steam at home. (very unhealthy i guess haha).

Anonymous wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 8:01 AM |

what makes me ANGRY is when someone want to threaten me by dragging me upstairs by pulling my hair and making me go potty in my pants and yelling at me all the time

Danny (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 8:11 AM |

What makes me ANGRY?  What makes me very Angry is when I give someone an Idea and they go and tell said idea to someone important and that "Someone" takes all the credit for my ideas.

Brittany (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 11:12 AM |

What makes me ANGRY? Guys who cheat and lie about it. And then u never know until the end and u get hurt twice as much as u thought u would. Why cant people just be honest? It hurts more when ur lied to and played.

Tigereyes911 wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 9:02 PM |

What makes me angry? Everything nowadays makes me really angry  have beenhaving so many angry feelings ever since yesteday when i lost it at work. I dont know what to do

person 14 wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 9:09 PM |

what makes me angry? when father is divorced with your mother and even though u used to see him every other weekend totally ignores you for four years in a row without even a simple merry christmas card. And when that father comes to your eighth grade graduation on june 14 and doesnt call to wish you happy birthday on july 21.

shy girl wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 9:12 PM |

Justin Bieber and his songs

Marla Wright wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 9:55 PM |

What makes me the most angry is when my ex comes in and out of my daughters life. He'll see her one day then avoid her and her calls for months. Once child supoort starts coming he quits his job!! Its not even about the money just see you kid ur own blood I mean come on!

Mckaela wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 10:20 PM |

I hate it when my father lies to me. He's addicted to the drug; Crack, and he's never around. Sometimes he's home and when he's he beats my mother, then he leaves to go buy more drugs... Well, of course drugs lead to Jail, and that's really the only time I talk to him, when he's in jail. He always says, "I'll get better, I promise" or "I'm coming home and I'll be a better dad, *I promise*". When I finally snap, I just scream and throw things around. It may sound childish but it's my only way to vent without hurting the ones I love.

Hallie (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 11:49 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? Drug-addicted parents who neglect and/or abuse their children or who let someone else do it. Also, drug addicts who leech off of their family--who are trying everything to help them--and then turn around and basically kick their family in the teeth. That makes me ANGRY!

Caroline (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 11:54 PM |

What makes me angry? people who pretend they understand but are really clueless

Monica wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-05-2010 11:55 PM |

I get agery very often. And quite frankly i dont know how to deal with my anger. I bottle it up inside and every so often i all comes out. Usally on a family member. I yell and hit. I try not to i honestly do But rage just beats the fact that i love them. So i lash out. I'm really not good with anger but I try. Thats all i can do. I mean as a 13 year old Kid i cant afford a counsler or anything and ive tryed the the school guidence People but they dont help much. I'm looking for new ways to do things better and work on fixing the problems i have with my Mom.

Elizabeth (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-06-2010 12:01 AM |

What makes me ANGRY? Getting bad news & having friends tell you that they're coming and nothig happens. This happened on the weekend before my birthday.

I told Jessica I wish you could've come. She didn't say anything.

Cheyenne (Facebook) wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-06-2010 12:03 AM |

what makes me angry is being with a guy for almost a year then him saying "let's just be friends" after we shared everything together..

mel wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-06-2010 3:13 PM |

I get angry the most when my mom and dad talk my 2 best friends that died in a car accident caused by alcohol. They also have something rude and unnecessary to say. This causes me to rebel in anger by drinking and staying out late. Me and my dad have even gotten into physical fights.

jason wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-06-2010 3:32 PM |

what makes me mad is how my dad and mom are treating me and what they are doing to me and my girlfriend and i don`t know how to get myself to not feel the way i do about this because they hurt me by telling me lies and giving me the gitly trip and i don`t know what to do? or to say to them ? do you what i can do in this please help me because i need it really bad thank you for your help

Ashley Crews wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-07-2010 9:51 PM |

What makes me the most anger is :  Right I am going through a lot in my life. All through my life whatever I did was never enough for my parents.  I put myself through college, am christian, mission trip and always helping other people. and I feel so alone and anger me that my own parents dont even care or love me... I try so hard for their approal. I know alot of people in my life that would die to have a daughter like me.. I love your show and i am praying each and every day for you and ur show and the young adults and teenagers.. <3

Jana wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-08-2010 7:35 AM |

I'm trying really hard to learn to deal with my anger in better ways, but sometimes I lose it. That in and of itself makes me angry. I hate failing. I hate feeling inadequate. I get angry with myself if I can't do something, or if I just get stuck in some stupid cycle of depression. When I get angry, I shove it inside and don't talk about it. I go numb. I literally can't cry or feel anything except anger, and even the lines of that emotion become blurred. I just feel dead inside. Then I get depressed which leads to anger, and that leads to deeper depression. At that point, if I don't suddenly lash out verbally on someone, I usually start cutting. I was almost at that point last week, but I was praying and God broke my anger. I actually cried a little and let the pent up stress out. I got to talk to my best friend that night too, and just talking about the vicious anger cycle made me feel better as well.

nichole5745 wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-11-2010 4:20 PM |

i have a brother somewhere in the us, and i dont know anything about him, i dont know his name or anything, and i really wanna know, and my dad wont tell me anything cuz he knows my brothers moms name and he "doesnt remember" anything about her.

Drizz wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 09-13-2010 7:41 AM |

What makes me angery? Almost everything, I get angery at the smallest  things. To the point where I want to hurt somebody (mainly the person that made me angery) badly. Now I have only gave into this a few times and I have never hit a girl. Which I find strange since most poeple with anger problems go for people that are smaller than them.

Amanda wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 10-03-2010 7:27 PM |

What makes me angry is not being able to shake of some things from the past and people betraying you.  When i'm mad i blast my ipod.

Diane34 wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 04-03-2011 8:23 PM |

The fact that people never understand or relate to how I feel.

Emma wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 04-18-2011 5:04 PM |

life makes me angry

Megsss wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 04-26-2011 5:02 PM |

What makes me ANGRY? When I get punished 600 times for one thing. I got suspended and now I lost my: Phone, iPod, freedom, softball [I'm the PITCHER] and have just been told that I can't go on an overnight feildtrip to Gettysburg at the end of the school year. It too much, too much punishment for one thing.

itslaura wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 11-23-2011 7:34 PM |

I've always kept my emotions bottled up. I'm 15 and none of my family hasn't seen me cry in at least 4 years. I have a LOT of emotional problems and they know absolutely nothing about it. I used to try to talk to my mom about stuff but she never listened. My parents have never been the type of people you can really talk to about stuff. They do know that I have a problem with anger though. They don't seem to realize that I also have other emotions. And that makes me so angry! I guess my real emotion isn't even anger. It's frustration, sadness and depression, taken out in anger. I wish they would listen to me and realize that I'm not ok. They think nothing but bad things about me and I have a low self esteem because of that. They would be SHOCKED if they knew all the emotional issues I have. But they're so blind... And they would never understand.

spice wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 07-31-2012 8:11 PM |

when your heart and mind get upset or someone  tries to black mail you or try to hurt you in any way.

spice wrote re: 157. What is Anger?
on 07-31-2012 8:13 PM |

when things happen wrong or dont  go right or i dont do something right.