This might sound a little foreign to you, but it’s not wrong
to feel angry. It does matter, though, how you respond or react to it. You
might not realize that you have a choice. You may feel like all you can do is
express your anger by hitting, yelling, or throwing something. My last blog
talked about ideas for how to deal with your anger—to keep it under control
from being a harmful and negative force in your life. But here’s the good
news—you can do something else with your anger. You can use it for good—when
you approach the situation from the perspective of a problem solver.
Anger comes from a very real place of feeling out of control
about a situation or even a relationship. Clarissa wrote: “We get angry when something is
wrong, and sometimes we can actually let the aggression motivate us to try to
change what's wrong, rather than just blow up at people. I think there are a
lot of ways I could be making the anger a motivational tool for change, and let
love take care of the rest. I also know in my heart that I have a God who can
help me deal with this.”
You are always going to encounter difficult and challenging
circumstances and people. Learning how to productively work through problems is
going to help you for the rest of your life. Instead of just letting the
feelings of anger take over, stop and figure out what is making you so angry. Make
a plan for how you can fix the situation and approach it with good intentions.
Anger can motivate you to try to get something changed, whether it’s a broken
relationship, or even a social injustice.
Anger About A Relationship
Is it that someone ignored you, or made you feel stupid, or did they
physically hurt you? Decide if you really care what that person thinks about
you. If you don’t care, then just move on. But if you do, you can be the bigger
person and seek to make peace with him/her.
You can do something else with your anger—you can use it for good.
Find a safe situation where you can express your anger and
frustration in a way that isn’t accusatory, but instead, allows for dialogue
with the other person. Sometimes just telling someone how you feel helps tremendously
to lessen the anger you’re experiencing. But remember, the goal is to solve the
problem, and not just to get something off your chest. Find out what the other
person’s perspective is on the situation. A lot of anger stems from common
Sometimes explaining yourself when you’ve been wronged, in a
manner that is (as much as possible) free from emotion, can help you decide
whether a relationship is worth salvaging, or if you actually need to leave it
Dealing With Injustice
Many people get angry when they see other people treated wrongly.
Expressing your anger with focus and passion can be very inspirational to other
people, and will help you stay motivated as you work for your cause.
wrote: “I got so angry at how some other kids were being treated at my school.
I went to the administration, and they made some new rules that helped to
Many people, like Sarah, see injustice going on in the world
around them. Maybe it’s at your school, or in your home, but it might also be
some horrible tragedy you find out about going on around the world. For
example, you might want to help by raising awareness about the sex trafficking
problem going on in the U.S.
and other countries. Maybe poverty and starvation really gets you upset.
Focusing your passion and energy toward these horrible situations can be very
Learning how to productively work through problems is going to help you for the rest of your life.
Joseph wrote: “If you are able to turn your anger into
passion, you can use it for good.”
It’s not wrong to feel angry or out of control. Taking all
that powerful energy and working to find solutions, help, and healing with
things you see as being wrong can be very beneficial to your own peace of mind,
and the betterment of the world around you. Be the brave and courageous one who
decides to stand up and make a positive difference. Let anger work for you, and
it will soon affect others in a very positive way.
Next week: Let’s talk
about why guys cheat on their girlfriends. Guys, I want to hear from you,
as well as the ladies. Your insight, even if anonymous, will be very helpful to
me. Please leave me a comment below. Thanks!
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159. How to Manage Your Anger