Before moving onto the next blog topic, Relationships in the Military, I wanted to share just a few more
thoughts on Why Guys Cheat on Their
Girlfriends. This part two of the six things that struck me about your
comments over the last few weeks; thing-four thru thing-six.
Harder and Harder to Press the Reset Button.
Many people commented about being hurt or disappointed so many times that they
now have a hard time simply pressing the reset button and starting over. They
began with some idealistic notions about romance but eventually grew very
discouraged and cynical about relationships. Some seem to be losing hope.
Michelle wrote: Suggestions for finding the right guy? never. the right
guys always seem to hurt you at some point.. girls are better off waiting til
theyre older then dating, and making a living for themselves. i just dont
believe there is a good enough guy, anywhere.
Life is so complicated. You spend more time trying to figure
out where the previous relationship went wrong that you give up hope that you
are meant to be with anyone.
Dave wrote: It's been three years now, and I still have trouble
SW wrote: Theres no hope
for us, relationships will almost always fail, and believe me, i still havent
accepted this yet because it still scares me. I HOPE im not right about this.
HARD TRUTH: Many people
who have lost a lot money on bad investments are terrified of making new
investment decisions. They are said to be “snake-bit.” People who have been
through several bad relationships understand something that novice GFs/BFs
don't yet know... that relationships are not without risk. In other words, if
you are not very careful about where and how much of your heart and emotions to
invest, you could get really hurt. Do that enough times, and you too can get “snake-bit.”
5. Sex and
Boredom. It is remarkable how quickly some
relationships go from the thrill of something new, to talking about forever, to
boredom, to break up. Many blog commenters pointed to that last stage as the
reason from a lot of cheating.
Why do guys
cheat on their girlfriends? Boredom and things get stale. Guys see it as an
excuse to look for something exciting to add that thrill back.
Briana wrote: Why do guys cheat? I think guys get bored easily. They
want something new and fresh...And a new girl is new and fresh to them!
There is a thing called the Law of Diminishing
Return. Put simply, how far you are willing go physically with your BG/GF
gets less and less thrilling. To continue getting that same thrill, you have to
go a little farther. But then after you've gone all the way, what else is there
Anonymous wrote: I think guys cheat on there girlfriends because they get
tired of kissing, or having sex with the same chick. Especially when they are
TRUTH (continued): Sex doesn't keep a BG/GF; it often condemns the
relationship to failure. There is deep sense of satisfaction and contentment in
old friendships. Because you go way back and have a lot of good history
together, you just feel comfortable and relaxed with each other. Nothing
special needs to be happening, you just enjoy hanging out together.
Relationships based on the thrill of sex or making out are just the opposite.
You get bored with each other after a while, there is no place farther to go,
and someone begins looking something new to get that thrill again.
6. Standing Alone. There
is a lot of pressure on people to be hooked up with a BF/GF. Have you ever
known a person with a terribly sad history in dating relationships but at the
same time who seems offended that you are not doing the same thing. It's like
they take your unwillingness to follow their mistakes as a personal attack. Lot
of crazy peer pressure out there!
Sarah wrote: Suggestions for finding the right guy? ...stopped looking..
dint even want to date nymore then my mr. rite came into my life asked me out
and I turned him down a few times. he asked me again and I jus thot.. watever,
what have I to lose? it went very well we were inseparable and 8 months later
we got married. now we have a beautiful boy together and the love is even
Don't follow the crowd! It takes courage to carve out your own path. It takes
courage to set your standards high. It takes courage to say NO. It takes
HELP ME OUT! I need you to post
comments and thoughts for my next few blogs articles on the reality of
relationships with a spouse or BF/GF serving in the military.
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165. Six Things You Had to Say About Cheating (part 1 of 2)