172. Holiday Highs and Lows: How to Give a Gift that Matters

Based on some of the comments from Facebook and thehopeline.com, here are several thoughts about gift giving at Christmas.

 

1. Rich or poor, young or old — Christmas today is about presents.

 

Carter wrote: The best thing about Christmas is the presents! wooooo!!!!!!! and worst waiting for the presents

 

Katherine wrote: The most difficult part is knowing that some people don't get to experience the joy that it brings because they think that if they don't have money they can't enjoy the season itself. 

 

Carter is so excited about getting presents that the worst part of the holidays for him is the waiting. I’ll say this for Carter: he is definitely focused. The worst part for Katherine is the thought that there will be no joy for some kids because they won’t have many presents. Those two comments are actually saying the same thing—Christmas is all about getting presents. The more you get, the greater your Christmas. The fewer you get, the sadder your Christmas.

 

How many times have you gotten halfway through the presents on Christmas morning and realized if we stopped at that point, it would have been more than enough? 

With that idea in play, it is easy to get the feeling that your love for people is going to be measured by how much money you spend on them. And so, thought #2 is not surprising.

 

2.  The most common stress point of the Christmas holidays is the lack of money. One person put it this way: “I am spending money that I do not have, buying stuff for people that they do not need and often do not want. But I’ve got to do it.” Many people feel the same way, but no matter how tight money gets, they just can’t get away from the obligation.

 

Angela wrote: We recently lost our car n got a ugly 1 to replace it and drinks gas like water. I'm still living with family and I have a kid and a bf and both of our families have money problems. So while I try buy presents I gotta save for a car, support gas, and support necessities in the fams. I got 2 jobs but they're both min wage

 

Tara wrote: What is the most difficult part of Christmas for me? Not having enough money to get my kids gifts. Had to borrow $ this year=(

 

Alma wrote: Feeling pressured to buy all ur family members presents, when u dont got money cos u dont got a freakking job!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I love you dawson♥

 

Thanks for the love, Alma. 

No adult relative on this planet is going to turn down a sincere request from a 13-year old to go in together on a gift for her mother.

 

If you’ve been around grandparents during the holidays, you may have heard them talk about a small little gift they got for Christmas — a toy truck or a sled. And if you have been around your great grandparents, you might hear stories about getting an apple or a piece of candy for Christmas. It was their only present, they tell you, and they were so thrilled to get it. That was definitely the olden days.

 

How did things get so crazy? A lot of it has to do with living in the most prosperous nation on earth. Yeah, I know—if you don’t have a lot of that prosperity, living in the midst of it makes things worse. Sometimes I think it would be easier if everyone else just wasn’t so prosperous.

 

A big part of the craziness is also the result of non-stop advertizing. It’s like they grab our kids’ brains and make them think they are destitute without the latest toy or gadget.

 

What has also contributed to things getting so out of whack is that we have simply passed down the tradition from one generation to the next, each one trying to out-do the last. So, no matter how much great granddad talks about getting that single apple for Christmas, it doesn’t change things. It’s hard to put the materialistic toothpaste back in the tube.

 

I can really sympathize with parents wanting to give to their kids. Kids don’t yet understand about it being the thought that counts. But they may not be as materialistic as we think either, especially little kids. How many parent have spent a small fortune on presents for their kids to open on Christmas morning, only to watch them spent the rest of the day playing with the boxes? How many times have you gotten halfway through the presents on Christmas morning and realized if we stopped at that point, it would have been more than enough?

 

3.  It’s not easy to give people what they want.

 

Ciera wrote: What is the most difficult part for me? Figuring out what to get people, and cooking >.>

 

Becky wrote: The most difficult part of Christmas for me is giving. not the act of giving. but trying to give ppl what they really want. im 13. really hard to get my mom what she wants when i have a budget of $50 total for presents

 

GIVING TIP: If you’re short on cash (and most of you are) and want to give a neat gift, try this approach: 1) Find out what a person really wants; 2) go for the better gift, something that is a long-term keeper; and 3) get brothers, sisters, aunts, uncle, parent, etc. to go in together. A better gift from 2-3 people usually trumps several little gifts. It works for kids as well as parents.

 

Either Way, by asking for the list, you put the burden on them to come up with the idea of a likeable gift at every price range. 

Note to Becky: No adult relative on this planet is going to turn down a sincere request from a 13-year old to go in together on a gift for her mother? Don’t have an adult relative handy? Same thing will work with one of your mother’s good friends. You just have to come up with a great gift idea.

 

Heather wrote: The most difficult part for me, and for some of the other members in my family, is having family members who will actually open up their gifts and say it's not what they wanted. It's hard when every year there is someone who is so blatantly ungrateful and unsatisfied. Kinda takes the Christmas spirit right out of me.

 

Note to Heather: Unless they are your own kids, I’m not sure you can do anything about the bad attitudes. But try this tip:

 

GIVING TIP: It is amazing to me how extreme gift giving has become to the Christmas holidays. But at the same time, I am amazed at how few people actually make out a detailed wish list. Everyone to whom you plan to give a gift, simply ask them for a wish list with price ranges from low to high. You might take the go-in-together approach on a more expensive gift, or you can go for one of the smaller gift. IMPORTANT POINT HERE: Either way, by asking for the list, you put the burden on them to come up with the idea of a likeable gift at every price range.

 

Next week: How about a suggestion for thehopeline.com visitors on how put the real spirit and meaning back into your Christmas?

 


 

 

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Posted 12-16-2010 4:39 AM by Dawson

Comments

Anonymous wrote re: 172. Holiday Highs and Lows: How to Give a Gift that Matters
on 12-16-2010 8:32 AM |

I think it's all about graditude. Just like everyone has reasons to be depressed, everyone has at least some good things in their life they can acknowledge and appreciate. One of my favorite quotes is "if you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped," because it reminds me that no matter how bad I think my life has turned out so far, it could have turned out a lot worse. In fact, no matter how much life sucks, things could always be worse and just realizing that is enough to make me feel really grateful for all the blessings I have in my life. Whenever I start to get really depressed, especially around the holidays, I make a gratitude list. Then, if I can, I read it to at least three people that day. Because sometimes, if you do the action, the feelings will follow. It's hard to be sad and sullen and devoid of the holiday spirit when you are telling someone how glad you are that you have a job or a partner or a family or friends or a home or food on the table or breath in your body or personal freedom or a connection to the spirit of the universe... some days the only thing I can think of to be grateful for is the fact that I haven't killed myself yet - the fact that I haven't completely given up on life yet and that means there is still some hope inside me and for me, no matter how small the amount. And that's got to mean something right? Anyway, that's my suggestion for anyone out there finding themselves in search of the holiday spirit. :) Merry Christmas!

kmkolten wrote re: 172. Holiday Highs and Lows: How to Give a Gift that Matters
on 12-16-2010 9:02 PM |

 Well spending time with your friends and family is considered a gift to me in some ways. But im only 13 and I do always feel like im a poor kid when I dont have the latest phone, TV, video game console, etc. It's always hard for me but I always try to find a way for me to make money at this age, I know that mowing lawns is something, but its just not something im interested in.

Savana wrote re: 172. Holiday Highs and Lows: How to Give a Gift that Matters
on 12-16-2010 9:31 PM |

Dawson,the hardest thing 4 me is trying to fint something for the one u love....its so hard to get them something they will like and want...to me its horrifying if they open it and hate it....money is tight and it breaks my heart 2 know i cant give him the world....i dread the holidays every year

Joel (Facebook) wrote re: 172. Holiday Highs and Lows: How to Give a Gift that Matters
on 12-16-2010 11:45 PM |

Such a valid point it saddens me at times what people do on holidays such as this one.. What lengths they would go for to get items.

Gayle (Facebook) wrote re: 172. Holiday Highs and Lows: How to Give a Gift that Matters
on 12-16-2010 11:46 PM |

true right now time and money is hard in this time of the year .

Josh wrote re: 172. Holiday Highs and Lows: How to Give a Gift that Matters
on 12-18-2010 9:09 AM |

Its really important to me to give the gifts people want and deserve.  Also think its more important to spend time with the people you truely care about.  

Kimber wrote re: 172. Holiday Highs and Lows: How to Give a Gift that Matters
on 12-20-2010 11:20 AM |

i was always told growing up that it was not the gift that count it was the thought that counted the most. and now that i am starting my own family now it makes more sense then it did then.

Nathaniel wrote re: 172. Holiday Highs and Lows: How to Give a Gift that Matters
on 12-21-2010 7:58 PM |

Through the act of giving and by being a temple of love for the ones in need.

Selena the Great wrote re: 172. Holiday Highs and Lows: How to Give a Gift that Matters
on 04-15-2012 7:01 PM |

What the heck has happened to the greatness of the Christmas?! I mean, I'm grateful for what I unwrap, for I know that the giver took the time and money to give me a gift. Sometimes, I only get a few presents, I'm still thankful. I've been through a lot, and I am saddened with how materialistic Christmas has become. America, concering Chrismas, is a very materialistic country. All we care about is who's got the newest car, or who's got the best television. What happened to us?!