bean

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  • 05-02-2012
  • I was lost but i have found my way back!

    I have put aside the hopeline to deal with my own life and the trials that come with it. I am sorry for those who have been hurt or saddened by my absence, I can say that i have been inspired that my words did or do have meaning and that the things i have chosen to say may have had some impact on sombody. Even if it may only be one or one hundred, it matters only that it may possabiably have helped sombody, anybody. I cant say that i will always be here online but i will say that if your willing to let me in i am willing to do whatever i can to help or assist you in helping yourself. The single most important thing is that you NEVER give up on your felf, never quit never sourrended to that whitch is bringing you down!

    And i suck at spelling i know you dont have to remind me(:

    And another thing, i believe in honesty, it may hurt it may open your eyes to things that you may have never seen or just refuse to accept but i will be 100% honest 100% of the time.

  • 03-15-2012
  • another song

    The climb from miley syris, dont judge just listen to the song!!!

  • Whats going on?

    Did i say or do somthing wrong? I am gone for a week and the things are all diffrent. Im a little confused but im here for those who are willing to let me in!

  • 02-18-2012
  • a glimps of where im from!

    I am 28 merried, two girls 7&3, i work fulltime dooing my favorite thing which is "diesel engine, and electric power" also the same thing i do in the army which ive been in going on twelve years. while i was growing up i was left to my own defences, so basically i raised myself. i have two older first oldest is my sister, then my brother, then i also have a younger sister. i havent spoken to my parents in almost ten years. i dont want them to be of any part of my childrens lifes. Sounds harsh but they never questioned or acconolidged me in my hard teens. I was a heavy drinker, i grew/made/sold/used any type of drug you can think of. i've stolen vehicles, been to jail, been part of a gang, basicaly if you can think its bad i mostlikly did it. although i've never hurt, in any way shape or form hurt any women. i have hurt, and even hospitalized men who have, I have lots of expirence in anything i found interesting, i like to help women and i like to learn. the most important thing in my life is my two doughters, then my wife comes in a close second(: i hope that was enough. I suck at typing and my spelling is horriable, so i am not physically capeable of telling my whole story.

  • 02-08-2012
  • I just want you to know!

    Im here because i want you all to live the lives you want to live. I dont like to see people pushed arround and walked on. I want to hera your storie, i may or may not have constructive advice. The times i am avaliable are spurattic, and basicaly unpredictable. But if you want me or need me then just let me in, i do believe in total and complete honesty!!!

My Activity

My Comments

TayHaze15 wrote Long time, no talk :(
on 06-29-2012 7:17 PM

Bean! wowza its been a long time. too long. i see you havent been online much. i hope you are online soon though, i havent been on either. i hope all is going great!! :) i miss talking to you! a lot. 

magicmack1 wrote msg me
on 05-31-2012 7:45 PM

hey beanzy,

 

please msg me, its not working for some reason, so thats why im wondering if it works for you, i wanna talk to you.

TayHaze15 wrote hi bean?
on 05-26-2012 9:25 PM

Well i am super uber happy that you are doing great!!!! and yea its good we are better. You seem to really have everything being put into place right now!(: Cancun should be fun! ive only ever been to playa del Carmen....and agreed, i do think that people will say more personal things if in a more private situation. 

TayHaze15 wrote dear bean,
on 05-22-2012 5:28 PM

I have thought of other studios, but it just.. wouldn't feel right, you know? i dunno whats gonna happen right now. all i know is that im basically fed up with some people there but i do like to be there sometimes. my summer is gonna be really busy and i wont be at karate much anyway so maybe things will cool off and i'll go back more in like November. idk.. i really dont know what to do. cuz every time im certain i want to stay or leave, something always happens that makes me want to do the opposite than what i was thinking i should do. like i was sure two days i ago i would leave karate basically for good. but than i was talking to an mma instructor (steve)  and hes like "when you gona learn how to really fight and join mma :P" and i ..i dunno the comment really made me switch positions on whether to leave or not. i dont get it. its confusing. i dont talk to austin much, but im glad about that. i dont talk to kyler much..but im sad about that.. :/ .. hes getting brainwashed from his pastor. :( its... its really unfortunate. he needs his religion, but he is so naive about it all.. he doesnt realize how much his pastor is changing him. at first it was good, he really turned around his life, but now its to a point that its just crossing the line. steve is even saying what happened between me and kyler shouldnt have happened. actually kyler didnt tell steve what happened, i had to tell steve...on the plus side i have better friends at school, not all of them are all bad. but one of them is turning a bit iffy.. im getting really overwhelmed with all that is being planned for this summer, i feel like i wont have enough time to breathe...im hoping babysitting in MN will distract me from karate and stuff...bean i miss talking with you in more of a conversation context... :( .. i hope for you all is good. and that your happy! how is life? whats new? anything you wanna talk bout?

Feeling Alone wrote Haha yeah..
on 05-20-2012 12:24 PM

Haha you didnt come off as dumb so dont worry xD. But I dont know if he was someone I pictured myself being with but Im with him.. I dont know I just have alot of doubts and insecurities but he really is a great guy! Soo much better than the last guy I was with and I can make jokes and we make each other laugh. All is good except I never pictured myself with a guy like him. Plus I dont really want him to see this side of me. The depressed side with all these problems you have so kindly helped me out with before. Its all very complicated.