Eating Disorders

What do I do: If I know someone who has an eating disorder?

1. Know your role. Eating disorders are very complicated and best handled by trained professionals. If you try to carry the burden of treating a disordered eater, it will frustrate both you and the person you want to help. It can also put you and the person in a dangerous position, since eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of mental disorders. Remember that your role is to listen, encourage, pray, and point them toward treatment that combines nutrition, Christian counseling, and ongoing support.
2. Most people who suffer from an eating disorder know that it is not healthy and is morally wrong. Avoid reinforcing this point. The guilt and shame they have internalized is often one of the biggest barriers to their treatment.
3. Many who suffer from eating disorders feel a sense of inadequacy in their life. Listen to find the source of that inadequacy, potentially the abandonment of a father or mother, or the loss of a relationship.
4. Spend time building a relationship with them. Ask good probing questions and talk in terms of how hard it must be for them.
5. Allow them to talk about food and eating behaviors but be intentional about focusing primarily on the “why’s” behind their struggle, such as what they believe about themselves, or specific circumstances, trauma, etc.
6. People struggling with eating disorders often feel alone and isolated, due in large part to the fact that most people who suffer are very intentional about hiding their behaviors. Encourage them that they are not alone, and that if they can find the courage to open up to others, they generally will experience relief and hope. Listen for potential support networks already existent in the caller’s life, and direct them toward those networks, in addition to finding professional help..
7. Don’t talk down to them. Try to connect casually with them if at all possible. Convey your interest in them as a person and not just their eating disorder. If you can personally relate to eating and body image issues, tell them so. This will give them hope and help remove the stigma about the struggle.
8. Don’t oversimplify. Eating issues are complex, and there is no quick fix. If the person feels like you’re trying to offer a quick answer, it will only make them feel more hopeless. Acknowledge the fact that these issues are complicated, and encourage them with the truth that God knows more than we do about what is needed for healing, and that He can deliver that help as we ask Him to. This help will likely include a counselor and nutritionist in addition to peer and pastoral support.
9. Many people who suffer from eating disorders have tried to stop before and failed. Encourage them with the hope of change and success in treatment.
10. For more tips on things to say or not say, visit our partner FINDINGbalance.com and type “Helping Others” into the search box. There are a variety of videos and articles provided by Christian experts in the field of eating disorders.