Grief

Someone that I love has died.

1. At some point in life, we will all lose someone that we love. The fact that we all experience the death of loves ones does not make it any easier, but it may be helpful to know that you are not alone.
2. Seek out the comfort of those who are also suffering with the loss. Chances are they are feeling much the same way you are. There is a good change and you will be able to gain strength from others who are grieving and that they will be able to gain strength from you.
3. Work hard to try to eat, sleep, and exercise in a healthy manner. During times of grief it is easy to leave our healthy habits and exchange them for unhealthy ones.
4. Even though you may not feel like you want to be around people, try to spend at least some time with others every day. If you isolate yourself completely from others you will likely not deal with the grief as effectively. One of the most important things that you can do for yourself during this time is to spend time with those who care about you.
5. Don’t try to hide your emotions or to appear “strong” for others. Grieving is a normal process that is actually very healthy. It is okay to let others know that you are struggling.
6. Don’t expect others to completely understand how you feel. Even those who suffered the loss with you. The truth is that there are general guidelines for how grief works, but people are different. One person may shed many tears and another may barely cry at all. Allow yourself to grieve in a natural way and do not worry about how you think that you should feel.
7. Because people may not fully understand, they may say things that are hurtful to you. Remember that many people desperately want to help you, but may not know how.
8. Some people find it helpful to keep a private journal of their thoughts, feelings, and actions during their times of grief. You may want to consider this as well.
9. Because of the intense emotions that you experience, you may begin to feel like you are not normal. It is very important to remember that grief is a big deal and most likely your emotions are very normal and expected. If you continue to experience serious emotional problems for a few months after the event, you may want to consider the possibility of seeking out a professional counselor or licensed social worker to help you. These people often have special training in the issue of grief and are capable of helping you through this pain.
10. Because you feel so sad, you may be tempted to use alcohol or drugs to feel better. It is very important that you resist that temptation. Instead, find positive ways to express yourself such as journaling, art, exercise, or remembering the good times you had with your loved one.
11. If you begin to experience thoughts of suicide, please be sure to seek out the help of a responsible adult. [see the Virtual Coach on suicide]
12. Call the HopeLine (1-800-394-HOPE) or visit www.dmlive.com to chat with a live person.