The Hopeline

Living with your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

DISCLAIMER: Dawson McAllister Live does not engage in professional counseling of any sort. The resources that you are about to view are for support and guidance only. They are not intended to give authoritative advice, nor should they be seen as a replacement for professional counseling. These resources are best seen as a beginning point for those who are interested in getting help.

WARNING: The audio clips and stories contained in these resources may cause emotional pain to those who are struggling with the issues discussed.

Welcome to The HopeLine Virtual Coach for the issue of living with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Below you will find stories, information, and resources dealing with the issue. Before you get started with the Virtual Coach, please listen to some DMLive callers talk to Dawson about their struggles with living with their boyfriend or girlfriend. To hear the calls, please click here for call #1, or click here for call #2.

Richard and Suzie’s Story:

Suzie and Richard have been dating for three years. Suzie is sure that Richard is the one for her and feels like she is ready for marriage. Richard, however, is not so sure. He knows that he has strong feelings for Suzie and he can see himself marrying her, perhaps down the road, but right now he does not want to get married. Richard enjoys dating, but is not at all ready to commit to marriage. Richard and Suzie talk about this a lot. Sometimes the talk becomes a fight. Lately Richard and Suzie have been talking about another option: moving in. Richard says that if they move in together they can enjoy the same benefits of marriage without having to deal with the downsides of marriage. Suzie is not really convinced, but because she loves Richard she is seriously considering the possibility. “What could it hurt”, Richard asks. “This will give us a chance to really get to know whether or not our marriage can survive. Suzie believes that if they are going to move in together that they might as well be married. She does not fully understand why this step is necessary. Suzie talks it over with her friends and her family and, even though they do not fully agree either, Suzie reasons that she loves Richard and if this is what he wants she is ready to give it to him. “Besides”, says Suzie, “I do love him and this will bring us closer together”.

Your Story

Richard and Suzie are considering the possibility of moving in together, or as the experts say, cohabitating. People cohabitate for different reasons. Richard seems to want to move in with Suzie because he does not want to commit to a lifelong marriage. Instead, he would rather share financial resources, a house/apartment, groceries, and a committed relationship outside of marriage. Some people who are planning to be married soon agree to move in together because they believe that a period of cohabitation will actually increase their chances once they are married. Others move in so that they can “try out” a committed relationship without actually committing. Whatever their reasons, cohabitation is a popular option for couples.

According to about.com, moving in does not always produce a happy experience and does not increase the likelihood of a long and happy marriage.

Cohabiting relationships are less stable than marriages and that instability is increasing,
Just over 50% of first cohabiting couples ever get married.
couples who live together are at a greater risk for divorce than non-cohabiting couples.
Couples who lived together before marriage tend to divorce early in their marriage

Are you currently living with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Are you considering this as an option? If so, then you are making a big decision which requires a lot of thought.

Please read the options below and click any as they relate to you:

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