Living with your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

What do I do: Should I Live with my Boyfriend or Girlfriend?

1. Understand that this decision is a big one and that it should not be taken lightly. It may seem like a small thing to move in with someone, however living with your boyfriend/girlfriend 24/7 will stretch you emotionally and may be very difficult. You and your boyfriend/girlfriend need to take time in making this decision.
2. Look at all the information available before making a decision. A quick Google search of the word: “cohabitation” will give you lots of information on the subject. We also recommend visiting www.family.org and then searching for “cohabitation” there as well.
3. Spend time soul-searching over your own motives and the motives of your boyfriend/girlfriend. If you are both committed to one another then you should feel free to ask: “why not marriage”. If one of you is unsure about commitment, then is moving in really going to solve that problem? As you research this issue you will see that many of the goals that couples are hoping to fulfill with cohabitation never become reality.
4. If you are currently struggling in your relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend don’t expect that moving in will make all of the problems go away. Just like it is a mistake for people to get married expecting that once they marry their partner will change, it is equally as foolish to expect that if you move in together the problems will go away. You need to address whatever issues are present before making the decision about cohabitation.
5. Seek out the counsel of others. Particularly of men and women who have had successful marriages. Hear what they have to say about relationships and what make them work.
6. Be very open with your partner about your feeling and hear out their feelings on the matter as well. Do not pressure them, and don’t be pressured by them to make this decision.
7. If you begin to feel hopeless and like you do not want to live any longer, immediately call 9-1-1 or 1-800-SUICIDE.
8. For support and someone to talk to, call the HopeLine (1-800-394-HOPE) or visit www.dmlive.com to chat with a live person.