Relationship Addiction

DISCLAIMER: Dawson McAllister Live does not engage in professional counseling of any sort. The resources that you are about to view are for support and guidance only. They are not intended to give authoritative advice, nor should they be seen as a replacement for professional counseling. These resources are best seen as a beginning point for those who are interested in getting help.

WARNING: The audio clips and stories contained in these resources may cause emotional pain to those who are struggling with the issues discussed.

Welcome to The HopeLine Virtual Coach for the issue of relationship addiction. Below you will find stories, information, and resources dealing with the issue. Before you get started with the Virtual Coach, please listen to some DMLive callers talk to Dawson about their struggles with relationship addiction. To hear the calls, please click here for call #1, or click here for call #2.


Margo's Story

Margo sat in her bedroom. Her hands shaking and her heart racing. Margo and her boyfriend had been fighting all day and when they finally ended a three hour phone call Margo was beside herself. The relationship is still intact, for now, but Margo is visibly shaken. She has a tremendous fear of her boyfriend leaving her. In fact, the thought of being alone terrifies her. Over the past few years Margo has bounced from relationship to relationship. As soon as one ends she jumps quickly into another one. She feels that she cannot live without a boyfriend. Her insistence on not being alone has caused her to make some very poor choices about her relationships. She has dated some men who were real losers. One of her boyfriends beat her and another one was too involved with his addiction to drugs to value her like she deserves to be valued. Margo does not mind settling, just as long as she has someone to be with her. She would rather deal with the physical pain of abuse than to deal with the emotional pain associated with her fear of abandonment. She does not realize how vulnerable this makes her to boys that take advantage of her sexually.

One of the problems that Margo faces when she is in a relationship is that she is often accused of being “clingy”. She never wants to be apart from her boyfriend and sometimes smothers him with her presence. Her relationships tend to be very intense. This causes fights with her boyfriend and sometimes makes him want to leave; which is where she is now. In a strange way, then, Margo’s desire to be so close to her boyfriends is the very thing that ends up pushing them away. Margo could not be more frustrated or more confused by this. It is not as though she has not tried to remain single. Each time a relationship ends she commits to herself, and sometimes to her friends, that she is going to take a break from relationships for a while. In the end, however, as sincere as she is about her efforts to take a break, something within Margo will not allow her to wait. She jumps right back into a relationship; even if it is unhealthy and not good for her.

Your Story

You might say that Margo struggles with relationship addiction. The single most important thing in her life is her romantic relationships. Even though these relationships are most often rocky and intense, she does not believe that she can live without them. Just thinking about being alone causes a lot of anxiety and fear for Margo. Because Margo needs a romantic relationship she is very vulnerable. She gives herself sexually to her boyfriends not because she wants to but because she is afraid that if she doesn’t they will leave her. For this reason Margo also endures emotional and physical abuse from men.

So what about you? Do you relate to Margo? Do you have a history of jumping from relationship to relationship because you cannot bare the thought of being alone? Are most of your relationships very intense? Do you find yourself giving in to your boyfriend/girlfriend because you don’t want them to leave you? If so, you may have a relationship addiction. Like other addictions, relationship addiction can be difficult to overcome. Reading this Virtual Coach may be the first step in a long process of healing for you. It this is the case, or if you have been trying to overcome this challenge for a while, we are happy that you are here. The journey ahead may be a long one, but don’t give up: hope exists and help is available.

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