Cutting / Self Mutilation

What do I do: If I know someone who is involved in self-injury?

1. Show them genuine love and concern. Don’t talk down to them.
2. Always take them seriously when they talk about it.
3. Don’t be afraid to talk to them about it. If you are not sure, ask them if they sometimes intentionally hurt themselves.
4. Help them seek out the assistance of others such as teachers, ministers, counselors, and family members.
5. Do not try to use guilt or other manipulative behaviors to try to get them to stop. Remember that they are likely engaged in this behavior because they need to regain a sense of control.
6. Be very aware that although self-injurers do not typically set out to kill themselves, their actions do sometimes result in death. As a result, it is very important to not leave them alone if you believe that they are going to engage in destructive behavior.
7. Strive to invest time with them during times of relative quiet as well as being there for them during times of crisis.
8. One of the crucial aspects of dealing with a self-mutilator is that they do not feel heard and understood. They can not imagine that anyone else feels as bad as they do. They can not imagine that anyone would understand how badly they are hurting.
9. Spend time building a relationship with them. Ask good probing questions and talk in terms of how hard it must be for them.
10. There is a positive correlation between abuse and self-mutilation. You need to listen closely for and inquire about the presence of abuse. The abuse could be of various types, but most commonly is sexual in nature.
11. Self-mutilation becomes addictive, much like alcohol or drugs. Work hard at encouraging them that they can stop and get well.