Director and Founder of Door of Hope 4 Teens and Young Adults, Debra Cornacchia, gives TheHopeLine an inside look at how they provide help for those struggling with self-harm.
Door of Hope was birthed out of founder, Debra’s emotional pain and her struggles. She had self-harmed from the age of 12 years old to 25. She said there was no one to tell back then. Her goal with starting Door of Hope is to give hope to people struggling with self-harm. Debra has recovered from her addiction, gone to college, and has a successful career and a wonderful family. She wants others who are struggling with self-harm to know that recovery is possible for them as well.
Debra started Door of Hope as a support group in her local church. They would meet once a week but no one was really showing up. Then teens and young adults started coming to the meetings from 2 and 3 hours away. She soon realized that people in the local neighborhood didn’t want to come out of fear, shame or being embarrassed because the people at the church would know who they were. So, that’s when she decided to create a website. And she wanted a way to be able to chat with people from all over the place so the texting hotline was started. Door of Hope may have started off in a church but now they are an international organization.
They deal with mostly with self-harm but along with self-harm comes eating disorders, depression, anxiety. You can get help from them even if you are thinking of self-harm and not actively even doing it.
There is no quick fix to overcome the desire to self-harm. Debra says, “I wish I had a magic wand where I could just wave it over you and your problems would be gone but unfortunately that doesn’t work because cutting is so addictive. It takes time, recovery is not a race.
Recovery is a process, it’s a journey. If they want to walk that journey out and take the tools that we give them to help them through that. Recovery can be absolutely obtained. A lot of people don’t think that people who struggle with cutting can ever stop cutting but the good news is that they absolutely can.”
Door of Hope tries to get to the root cause of why someone is cutting. They believe cutting is a symptom of far greater emotional issues, often stemming from trauma (physical abuse, sexual abuse, bullying) or feelings of neglect or low self-esteem. There are many things that can be at the root problem of self-harm.
Debra reads 2 letters from people who were helped by Door of Hope:
Door of Hope shares 2 letters of hope - YouTube
Door of Hope connects people locally…with faith-based organizations, therapists, guidance counselors or someone else who can help. They believe secrets grow in the dark. There is such a secret with self-harm that if you are not able to express it to anyone then you’re not going to get help. Door of Hope encourages the person struggling to reach out and tell someone they trust.
Door of Hope offers a texting hotline where you can contact them by texting or calling 803.570.2061. You can also email - doorofhope4teens@gmail.com. And now they are offering recovery coaching where sessions are set up through Skype or FaceTime.
Most people who are hurting themselves have been hurt by others. They help people to walk through the process of forgiving. It’s about giving the person a voice about what happened to them. They want to help them forgive the people who hurt them.
A lot of people are bullied and very angry at the people who have bullied them so they turn to cutting because it releases that pain but forgiveness is so much better. Forgiveness is setting yourself free.
Door of Hope - What is Forgiveness? - YouTube
If you are struggling with self-harm, help is available! Debra sums up who Door of Hope is and what they can do to help if you are struggling with self-harm:
What is Door of Hope? - YouTube
Door of Hope wants you to know it is confidential when you speak with them. They are not mandated reporters so they don’t have to report what you tell them.
Contact them:
Website - https://www.doorofhope4teens.org/
Call or text - 803.570.2061 or 914.393.1904
Email – doorofhope4teens@gmail.com
Set up one-on-one personal recovery coaching – call or text Debra at 914.393.1904
If you have spent any time reading my blogs or listening to my radio show, I hope you know, beyond anything else, that I care deeply for teens and young adults. I have made it my life’s work to share the message that there is HOPE no matter what struggle you may be facing. I want you to know that your life matters, people do care and help is available.
Because we want to be sure that every teen and young adult gets the help they need, we partner with many other organizations. We know we can’t help every hurting teen and young adult on our own, but together we are stronger and we can reach more people.
One of the organizations we have partnered with is Safe Place They are a national program for young people who need immediate help and safety. I share their Text4Help information on my radio show. Take a listen.
If you or anyone you know ever needs to get out of an unsafe situation, you can text the word “SAFE” to 69866 and within seconds you will receive the address of the closest Safe Place.
Every year 1.6 to 2.8 million runaway or homeless youth live on the streets. TheHopeLine® and Safe Place simply want to give these teens a safe place to go.
Safe Place designates businesses and organizations within a community as Safe Place locations, making help readily available to youth across the country. Locations include: libraries, YMCA’s, fire stations, public buses, various businesses, and social service facilities. Safe Place locations are designated with this sign.
And remember you can always text SAFE and your current location to 69866 to find the location nearest you.
Step One – A young person enters a designated "Safe Place" and asks for help.
Step Two – The site employee finds a comfortable place for the youth to wait while they call the licensed Safe Place agency.
Step Three – Within 20-30 minutes or less, a qualified Safe Place volunteer or agency staff member will arrive to talk with the youth and, if necessary, provide transportation to the agency. Going to the agency is not required and is voluntary. The choice is yours.
Step Four – Once at the agency, counselors meet with the youth and provide support. Agency staff makes sure the youth and their families receive the help and professional services they need.
There are many difficult problems that teens face in their life that may cause them to seek a safe place such as: abuse, neglect, family troubles, dangerous dating situations, bullying, homelessness, drug abuse, etc.
If you find yourself in one of these situations, you have some crucial decisions to make. Unfortunately, many times to escape one bad situation you can end up in another by making dangerous or unwise decisions. That is why I promote Safe Place. They will help you navigate your next steps in a safe environment before you end up in a worse situation. You deserve a chance to work through your problems with the support of a caring adult.
Your safety is of utmost importance, but running away carries a whole set of issues on its own. Issues you need to think through.
Ask yourself the following questions:
You are not alone as you make these decisions. Stay safe and don’t hesitate to Text4Help or Chat with TheHopeLine®.
Remember – there is HOPE.
Check out the sites of our partner organizations:
Safe Place - https://nationalsafeplace.org/
National Runaway SafeLine - https://www.1800runaway.org/
Covenant House - https://www.covenanthouse.org/about-homeless-charity
I remember sitting in my room one night after I had just got home from smoking weed and drinking a little too much with a group of people that I had convinced myself were real friends. I was about nineteen years old and still trying to navigate my purpose in life as most of us do. As I sat in my bed and stared at the wall with glossy eyes and tears beginning to stream down my face, I remember thinking to myself, "This is hopeless." I then walked into the bathroom and proceeded to look at myself mirror. I remember being confused at who I saw staring back at me.
"This isn't me," I mumbled under my breath. "Who have I become?" I thought to myself.
I had been going down this dark road for quite some time now. I wasn't the person God created me to be. I was doing things I swore I'd never do; I was becoming a person I swore I'd never become; I was spending time with people I swore I'd never spend time with, and I was digging myself a hole that eventually felt too deep to climb out of. I had convinced myself that there was no way out of this darkness. I felt stuck. I was depressed, lonely, searching for worth in all the wrong places, and I was sure that God wanted nothing to do with me.
Depression does that to you. Anxiety can do that to you. Darkness can do that to you. You begin convincing yourself that darkness actually means hopelessness. But it doesn't. This couldn't be any farther from the truth. The reality is we all go through dark times in life. And although our darkness may look and feel different depending on the person, this doesn't make hope any less obtainable, no matter how broken and lifeless one may feel.
Hopeless is how I spent most of my life. But what I perceived as hopelessness was actually just darkness in disguise. It wasn't until I learned to drop my guard, admit that it was okay to not be okay, share my hurt with others, and grab hold of God that things started to change for me. The darkness started to subside, and hope began infiltrating every crevice of my life. It wasn't immediate.
It took time. And nor did it prevent darkness from trying to control me on a daily basis. But it was there, and it was present.
Hope is one of those things we can't outrun no matter how quick and witty we think we are. It's always one step ahead of us, waiting to be seen and grabbed hold of. God's love, regardless of if you believe in it or not, is a light in dark and weary times. It's a lighthouse to a ship lost in a sea of colossal waves, and life-raft for those who are sinking.
Your life has a purpose no matter how broken you think it may be. And although "darkness" is something you might struggle with throughout your life, you must always remember that the hope of God is there to grab hold of in times of need.
-Jarrid Wilson
Jarrid Wilson was the founder of Anthem of Hope. Anthem of Hope is a non-profit organization dedicated to illuminating hope for those battling brokenness, depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicide and addiction.
John Cooper, lead vocalist for Skillet, talks about writing the song “Stars” and what the song means to him personally. He shares some personal struggles he had as a teenager. And he talks about how his song came to be on the soundtrack of the movie, The Shack.
Interview with John Cooper about the song "Stars" - YouTube
John Cooper: The song is about we believe that God is in control of very big things. In other words, most people don’t question whether the sun is going to come up the next day, if we are going to all freeze to death because the sun burns out, or the Earth in rotation, all these big things in the Universe are being run every day and we have faith for that. But a lot of times we don’t have faith for the little things: that God can help heal a relationship between a husband and a wife, or a parent and a kid, or save a marriage, or help me when I feel alone, or help me through a bad time...things like that. When I’m struggling with depression or loneliness or whatever that may be. So, the song “Stars” is about the fact that God is in control of all these big things, but He still knows who you are. He knows your name. He knows your pain and He knows where you live. It’s very worshipful but it’s also very personal as well.
John Cooper: This was a little bit different because normally my wife, Corey and I write most of our music but we do write with other folks as well. This is one of the only songs we’ve ever written that had 4 people involved. It was me and my wife and two other writers. It was good because I wanted to get something a little bit different than what Skillet normally does. So, I drew on some people I was a fan of and some writers and we wanted to try something new and worshipful. We’ve done things like that in the past but it’s been a very long time. And that’s why “Stars” is kind of cool. I’m a fan of music, of course, and other bands and I love it when bands do something that I’m not quite expecting.
Personal interview with John Cooper from Skillet about "The Shack" - YouTube
John Cooper: It works in lots of different ways. In this particular situation, it was very unique because the Shack sound track is meant to be songs inspired by the film. And most people wrote new songs for it. I think we might be one of the few that did not, we happened to have an existing song that just very much tied into what the movie was about. It was meant to be. It was kind of a long, crazy bunch of events that led to this happening which all seemed kind of miraculous. I was really excited and very proud because this is a really powerful movie. I’ve seen the prerelease of it. Honestly, I watched it 5 times, I could not quit watching this movie…it was extremely moving. I think a lot of people are going to be impacted in a huge way from the film.
John Copper: The album was released last August. The song “Stars” is on our record but there is the new version which is kind of the acoustic version which is on The Shack soundtrack. It’s not on the record, it’s its own release. So, it’s the same song but different versions, I guess you would say.
John Cooper: That is my absolute favorite line in the song. To me, it not only sums up what the song is about, that very much sums up what a lot of Skillet is trying to convey in our music over our career. It’s very much us. Probably the biggest struggle in my life, my mom passed away when I was 14. She had cancer for about 3 years. When I was 11, she got diagnosed with cancer and fought that. She had operations and chemotherapy and after 3 years of fighting it, she passed away. I was a Christian and my mom was a devout believer and my family was. But nothing quite prepares you for that sort of thing. My mom used to tell me, if something happens and I do die, you can’t be mad at God. God is in control and God is good and things like that…which is great parenting and great teaching. But after she did die, my dad got remarried and there just began to be this struggle in our household and fighting. Honestly, I struggled with hatred and anger and bitterness for years and years and years. And I remember when I was 16, is probably when I really reached out to God and asked Him to calm that storm in me. I needed to know Jesus as a friend. I knew him as my Savior and my Lord, but I began to talk to Him like a friend, like I need someone. That was probably my biggest moment, hardest moments of my life and some of the most beautiful too.
John Cooper: It’s different for different people, of course. There is no easy answer that anyone can give that is going to all of a sudden make someone feel not sad or not lonely or not depressed. I will say, in my own life, reaching out to God and asking Him to be…The Bible says that the Holy Spirit is a comforter. He is someone that comforts us when we need to be comforted so that is truth from the word. I do tell people, if you reach out to God, he will comfort you, he will draw near to you. That’s also what the Bible says…if you draw near to God, he will draw near to you. It’s not going to be like you’re asking Him for help and He’s going to refuse to answer you but it also doesn’t mean everything is just going to be great all the time, that’s not necessarily what the Bible teaches. You might have to do that all the time and you might still struggle in certain ways. But I think beginning to find your value, not in yourself, and not in your achievements, or how many friends you have or how you are treated at school or your job or whatever. Finding your value in being a son or daughter of God is really what’s going to take your eyes off of yourself and onto Him.
So, I do think in America we need a big dose of: It’s not about me and my life isn’t really about me. If you belong to Christ, then your life really is not your own…it belongs to Him and for His glory so if you can focus on Him, all of a sudden you’re going to find out, you’re not as sad as you used to be. It’s a little bit like having kids. When you have a kid, you don’t really have time to think of how you feel because you’re so tired all the time…you’re giving out to this child and all of a sudden you begin to be a little bit more fulfilled. You are finding your fulfillment in being there for someone else…that’s a little bit what it’s like. You’ll put your eyes on Christ and all of a sudden you won’t have time to remember you are feeling down or people don’t like you at school and things like that. I’m not minimalizing or trivializing the pain of adolescents and growing up, all those things are very real and it doesn’t mean they’re going to go away right off. But I know from personal experience, if you reach out to God, He will draw close to you.
Watch Film Trailer: THE SHACK
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