What You Should Know About The Danger Of Gossip

Why Do People Gossip?

It's been said, knowledge is power. Unfortunately, many people like to spread damaging information or intimate details about others, whether true or not. This is what is called gossip. It used to be that people called gossip, dishing the dirt. Whatever it's called, people use gossip to hurt people, in order to feel good about themselves and to feel like they have power over others.

Gossip Destroys Reputations

If you know something juicy someone did over the weekend, it's easy to feel like you have to tell others. We especially like it when we hear something that makes someone look bad. Celebrity bloggers and gossip magazines make millions of dollars off of this unfortunate reality. I'm sure you have encountered gossip. Some people seem to thrive on it.

It’s time for you to decide you don’t want to have any part of it. The most dangerous part about gossip is that it steals another person's reputation. A reputation is very fragile. When you gossip, you are helping to destroy something extremely valuable. An anonymous blogger wrote: After telling my best friend, it leaked that I tried [cutting] once. Everyone thought I was even more of a freak.

Stop the Gossip

If it’s time for you to commit to no longer have any part of gossip, here are 5 tips on how to do it:

1. Make an intentional decision you’re not going to gossip.

Even though the temptation to gossip is powerful, you will always win when you choose not to use it. And really, with all gossip, there’s no way of knowing for sure what is true or not.

Paul wrote: I admit that I love spreading rumors. It’s all about telling lies about someone you don’t like. It usually works. That’s the problem, it does work, almost every time. The most dangerous part about gossip is that it steals another person’s reputation.

2. Don’t listen to others when they gossip.

Gossip grows an audience. You simply being there listening to it adds to its appeal. If someone starts to tell you something gossipy, say, I’m sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about this person when they’re not here to defend themselves. Not only will you break the gossip chain, but you also will gain the trust of other people, as someone who won’t spread rumors. With all gossip, there's no way of knowing what is truth or lies.

3. Don’t judge people based on gossip.

If you should hear gossip about someone you don’t know, you have two choices: allow the gossip to determine what you believe, or let your own personal experience determine what you think. The first time you have an experience with someone that is contrary to the gossip you’ve heard; you’ll be a lot more careful about spreading or believing gossip the next time you hear it.

Katy wrote: My best friend is someone who people used to say really bad things about. But once I got to know her, I learned the truth about her. I'm so glad I gave her a chance.

4.Think before you speak.

Before you repeat something you've heard about another person, think: does this really do any good for me to spread this information? Or am I just trying to be in the know? Is the information even true? Could I be hurting someone by telling this, even if it's true? If the person you are talking to is not part of the problem, or part of the solution, there's no need to tell them anything.

5. Stay away from people who gossip to you they will gossip about you.

Don’t associate with people who find such great joy in belittling others. Be very careful about what you choose to tell these people. If it’s a close friend, you might consider saying how you want to stop spreading gossip, and that you’d really like her help.

There's an old saying, stick and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me. That's not true. Being gossiped about can be extremely painful. If you don't want it done to you, don't do it to others. In the end, it never pays to gossip.

I really appreciated this comment from Jolene: I love how Dawson tells how gossip really hurts. Other blog sites just gossip, this one tells us how hurtful it can be. I am so glad that Dawson is down-to-earth.

For more help with gossip and reputation, I wrote these two blogs: How to Rebuild a Bad Reputation and Protecting Your Online Reputation

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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45 comments on “What You Should Know About The Danger Of Gossip”

  1. I started doing model photography for a well known and respected journalist/photographer..the ladies at my work started spreading hurtful rumors that I was selling my body to dirty old men...being a hairstylist for many years in a small town is disaster when gossip is added to the mix. I deactivated my Facebook account to avoid attention and started focusing on my children and husband for positive support. The key person who started the gossip always disliked me and unfortunately managed to convince the 80% coworkers her claims were true..
    I'm self -employed and have a very large clientelle; rumors such as these can be very damaging to one's reputation given the environment I'm in.. This was indeed a horrible way to start the new year.

  2. Hey Dawson,
    You make some great points. I agree gossip is so unhealthy and forms a vicious cycle. While it does have the potential to ruin reputations, I have to question whether one should care about those who are attempting to ruin it and those that are listening to it. Because these people hold no gravity or substance in their words.
    I find gossipers rather weak and boring and as you sa,y attempt to feel better about themselves. A gossiper from my perspective just spells trouble. I will deal with them as best I can but I don't want any part of that. Because I value my reputation and don't want that associated with gossipers. Great food for thought. Thanks.
    Rachel.

  3. Hi, I'm writing here because I've used the online chatting system once. I loved reading this article and appreciate the information.
    I just wanted to share that I will not gossip about another person, judge another person, or damage another person's reputation. I personally would like to make this commitment because I myself have been misunderstood a lot of times due to growing up in poverty and a dysfunctional family. But, in all gratefulness, I would like to proudly share that good intentions shine through and as long as you have the right mindset and set it in into motion your reputation will be protected by God in the end. Don't buy into gossip! It will come back to you.

  4. all my friends who always gossip about others to me,ever since i realized the evil of bad mouthing others.i started avoiding them like a plague,knowing that such people will eventually gossip about me too.

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