Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It's so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. When you hate your life and yourself, it feels like you're in your own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate to Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: I hated myself because I thought I wasn't good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn't feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When bad things happen, we often blame ourselves. It's easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It's important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It's normal. But it's difficult. Not everybody is going to love you or accept you.
But it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Tom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I'd go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don't let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden like Tom did, will give you great joy. He's right, it's not worth going crazy over something you really can't control.
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won't. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It's like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I've become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I've come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others, to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God's love for me.
I ask myself, "Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He's the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason." There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn't that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
So how do you climb out of the dark hole of self-hate? Check out 5 Things to Think or Do When You Hate Yourself.
Not sure how this works..so guess I am going to just ..talk
So sometimes I love this moment, or I love my life. but really deep down I can't except myself. I'm a spoiled brat and I know everyone looks down at me, I act happy for my friends. My really I just hate myself. I'm a spoiled brat who's mean and selfish. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm not enough like I'm too little. I feel unwanted. It's just I don't even understand anymore, because like I'm sometimes so happy I could cry in joy, but other times I'm crying myself to bed for a few weeks straight I just don't really understand life, and why doesn't god stop all these people from hurting themselves, why does God watch all of us suffer. I can't even understand anything,
I am fourteen and I don't have much to be unhappy about as a middle class white girl living in america. My dad is wealthy and I have adorable pets and a loving family. Sure, there are a few issues, but no one's life is perfect. But at school, I hardly speak. I barely make any friends and I'm so painfully shy and awkward. I have severe social anxiety disorder and talking to people is terrifying to me. I wake up at 5:40 and eat a pop tart or something, and won't eat anything until 5:00 in the afternoon because I'm too scared to eat in public. I hate myself so much. I'm an ugly, disgusting, horrible piece of crap, and I sometimes think I don't really deserve to be alive, but I'm too scared to hurt or kill myself. It's just like something in me has shriveled up and died, and even though I'm basically normal, no bipolar or depression or dead relative or anything bad, I feel like I'm an alien. Like I don't belong here. Like I wasn't supposed to be born. And then I hate myself more because I don't deserve to be upset since I have nothing 'real' to be upset about. I feel like there's no one I know who understands. If any of them are gong through what I am, they can at least cover it up, fake it. They can at least pretend to be normal, but I just can't. I never speak, I bury myself in books or work or my phone. Being at school drains me, so when I come home I'm mentally exhausted, and my mom always wants to talk, and gets angry at me when I don't want to, so it's built up a deep resentment for her, and for the past couple of years I've felt like I hate her. Sleeping over at one of the few friends I have's house is really difficult, because by the end I feel like I don't have the energy to be "On" anymore. To put so much energy into being so painfully aware of what I look like, what I'm doing, how I should act, how I should be, is so draining, and by the end of each day I can't talk, I can't possibly spend any more energy on trying to be normal, so I plug in my earphones (one of the few things that makes me happy) to 'recharge' and my parents think I'm being antisocial. I don't understand how I can be so normal, and yet so utterly messed up. Something's wrong with me, but I have absolutely no reason to complain about anything. I'm so confused and hurt, but I feel like I'm just overreacting and I should just quit complaining when there are people out there going through REAL stuff, and in comparison, I have it so, so easy.
(sry for my english) i hate my self 2 i am 20 years old and since i wash 13 things start to go down under sure there where good times bat most things i did where bad i wash raisd chatolic christian and yes i am a believer in God all wash wonted to do best can bat i culdent allways to lazy or i wold allways act full of my self when ever i wold go home i wold think why em i these way i did in those 8years bad things so evrithing started to go worse when i wash little i wold plays baskettball i wash good at it i allways wonted to do the best bat my dad wash allway like thats not good you neeed to do better at 14 - 15 my dad started to drink more and more my mom and my sister where allways mad at him i wash 2 some time he wold beat me well i understand why he wash in war and his sister died so yes i did bat i allways hated when he beat me or when he wash angry.Most things i done in life where bad so mostly that destroyed me now i em in a depression i tried to hang my self 4-5 times i allways wold hide my scars from my mom and sisters i allways ask God why em i like these never answerd i feel disupointed at him why he wold not help me dont no what to say i wash i wash never born.I dont go out no more i dont wont to be near people i am a terreble person i hate my self with whole passion i wish i wash never born!
okayyyy i can't believe that i talk now but i will be honest all my life in a school that she is contained baby class primary even the high school the problem is i think that the 13 years and im now 16 feel rejected by everyone they treat me so badly they laugh on me when i do anything i decided to not be social wiz anybody and be in a corner i have passed all the bad and depressed thing in it however this school is take a lot of money and her appearance is so beautifull but i being hated myself cose of it i haven't any friend except 3 friends in whole my entire life and they always left me and betray me and i has to be wiz them because i didn't have anyone else also when i need them i didnt find them and when they came to me i can't stop them more than this when i tried to talk to anybody they underestimate me i feel like it is a prison that they don't care that im a person that has a feelings too so my friends they make me have no selfconfident and feel pain and depressed all the time also makes me very shy to do anything so when the school put psychological activity i feel shy and always not share wiz anybody because they don't care also i started being offensive so nobody love me and still they didn't respect like anyone else