My life from day one has been an emotional roller coaster. I have had many up and downs…mostly downs.
My mom is a drug addict. I had to live with her. I have been yelled at, screamed at, called worthless and almost every other name in the book. I have been beaten, molested, sold, forgotten, left, homeless, starving, dying. I have wanted to kill myself for a long time. After many years, my dad finally thought it was a good idea to get me away from my mom.
I now suffer from extreme depression, anxiety, and PTSD. My dad tonight, yelled at me and I had a freak attack. My dad isn’t nice and neither is my stepmom so we fight often, but tonight it hit me and I wanted to do anything to leave this Earth right now. I wanted to stop being a disappointment, but then I got on this site…TheHopeLine.com. I talked to someone, and told my story and it kind of made me feel better…like that I shouldn’t give up.
Thanks,
Madylon
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Don’t give up, there’s hope for a better tomorrow. If you are having struggles in your life and dealing with depression, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook to find help.
hi I can somewhat relate I have not been physically abused or she’s not a drug addict but I have been verbally abused by my mom
Hi, I know how you feel because there isn’t a single day in my life that i feel secure and happy. I have OCD, and I am clumsy. At least that is what people tell me. Every time I see my reflection in the mirror I fear that someday I might loose this reflection of mine. People don’t accept me for who I am. Instead they keep pushing me to do things they like and give me deadlines. I feel like a total waste.
But then I comfort myself saying ‘It will be over soon’ and god knows if it’s true.
It DOES end. Trust me. Please read the below – I’m sorry it’s long, but I do mean everything here.
I’ve had a tough time in high school (don’t want to discuss in public) and while I had a smile pasted on in front of everyone else and playing the smart goody-two-shoes, I felt like I was empty, being something that I’m not, which led to insecurity and these horrible thoughts about “who would ever love me”. I attempted suicide (one of the closest friends I had at the time succeeded). Now I’m in university. That time is behind me and I can look back and say I’m glad I didn’t succeed that night. I would have regretted it so much if I had known what the future had for me. I met some of the most amazing people, I made very good friends and, despite thinking that I was unattractive as hell, hey I got a few guy admirers too.
There WILL be someone in this world – some PEOPLE even – who will find you attractive as you are. In the meantime, accept yourself as you are. You’re cool because nobody else can be more “you” than you – don’t let the society tell you what you should be like to be loved, because you being you alone is more than enough to deserve to be loved. I don’t know how old you are but I learned this last year. Trust me – once you are in a bigger pool of people (maybe even travel the world, join new clubs you wouldn’t normally join) you will find people who love you for who you are – clumsy, unconventional, OCD, distorted self-image, whatever else. In the meantime, work on being authentically attractive instead of trying to follow the media or this trend the society puts out for you. Work on loving yourself and developing self-confidence, like I did. A confident woman holds a different air about her and guys do notice that. Not abnoxiously loud, but gracefully self-assured. Everything else will follow once you’ve resolved your other issues. And if you end up not marrying someone and settling down, no problem, all that matters is you’re happy with yourself, because that’s where your value comes from. True story, despite what our society shoves down our throat.
JK Rowling was also suicidal before she began writing. Imagine if she had actually done it – she would have regretted her decision. Imagine not having the Harry Potter series lol.
My point is – it does end. Don’t you give up.
Thank you so much for sharing your story of hope! You are a tremendous encouragement. Also, great point about JK Rowling, so thankful she did not give in to her suicidal feelings.