Moving Past Relationship Mistakes

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Getting past relationship mistakes

Trust and Security

After 25 years of taking countless phone calls on my radio show, I've heard thousands of stories about heartbreak due to relationship failures. What is so often lacking in all these relationships is a foundation of trust.  And without trust people have no sense of security and can never rest secure in their relationship.

So, let's look at some key factors needed to build trust before a relationship even begins.

4 Ideas to Help Find Someone You Can Trust

So often I hear of people who are deep into relationships emotionally, physically, or even sexually, but still are not sure they can trust their partner. They don't know if they can trust their BF/GF with their true feelings, or if they will be faithful, or even if they are who they appear to be.  I remember an interview with Taylor Swift where she was asked about the most difficult thing she has learned about relationships. "It's when you think you know someone," she replied, "then later find out that is not at all who they were."

Passion wrote: I've been dating this guy for 5 months and i found out he gave his number to another girl, I dont even see him the same as i used to, i look at him and wonder if everything is a lie.

LittleShorty wrote:  He tells me he loves me and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me... But my problem is that he thinks i am cheating on him... but i am not cheating on him... What i wanna
know if he is cheating on me or not...

HARD TRUTH: No relationship is going to succeed or survive without a strong foundation of trust.

So, how do you arrive at trust? How to know if you can trust your BF/GF? No simple answer to those questions, but here are a few ideas:

1. Start by simply avoiding relationships with people you already know are untrustworthy. That might quickly eliminate a few possibilities.

2. Look for someone who will talk to you about common interests, as well as personal stuff like like faith, values, and what you want to do with you lives. You can't always go on what people say but talking about those things gives you a momentary glimpse of what is really inside that person. What if they don't want to talk about that kind of stuff? It's not a deal breaker, but unwillingness to let you see inside makes you wonder what's really in there.

3. Observe what they do and how they act under pressure. That's when our real selves begin to show.

4. Set your standard high and look for a BF/GF who wants to know you, be with you, love you for who you are not for access to your body, not to hitch a ride on your popularity, and not for something he/she wants to turn you into. Before jumping in with both feet, be sure they Love you for who you are, just as you are, right now.

Insecurity is another big issue holding relationships back...have you ever worried your BF/GF was going to leave you?

How do I get past the thought that my BF/GF will leave me?

Fear of abandonment is very common, especially if you have finally met someone who you really like, or if have been abandoned in the past. It's natural to want to hold onto things that mean the most to us. But still, we are never given permission to own or control another person.

This means other people are always free to do whatever they want, even if it means leaving the relationship. There's a fine line between wanting to have someone in your life and wanting to possess them. Many people don't have enough belief or confidence in themselves to ever imagine being alone. This can cause a person to hold on too tightly. Loyalty is one thing--fear of being alone is another.

To get past the fear of being left, you need to get to the place where being alone is not the worst thing that could ever happen to you. This will take time, but it's worth the effort. Spend some time trying to figure out what kinds of things you enjoy. What kinds of things make you feel really alive? As you get to know yourself, you will have more of your complete self to bring to a relationship.

Most people do not want to be in a relationship with someone who is extremely insecure, negative and clingy.

Thank God for every day you have with your BF/GF. You have today, tomorrow will take care of itself.

Related Posts:
How To Find A Meaningful Relationship
4 Ways To Avoid Heartbreak
Sex And Father Hunger
8 Signs Your Relationship Is Unhealthy

For more on how to heal emotionally and move forward after cheating in your relationship, download TheHopeLine's free eBook.

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8 comments on “Moving Past Relationship Mistakes”

  1. Few days ago I told to my #bf that kindly please come to my home and meet to my parents but my bf did not show interest so I left him and I joint to other $guy but after he knew he hurt and he# saw a dirty picx I realized that this is my big mistake :'( and I want to live with #him over my life time period 🙁 how can i save my relationship coz I realized that I love him# :'(

  2. Question. Me and my partner were together 8 years, I had a feeling he liked someone else for years so I broke up with him in the end wanting him to see he had a beautiful family instead of going to her hhouse every day. Time went on separated and he still chased me and wanted to be with me after 5 months I found out he and the girl was expecting the baby. After a few weeks I agreed to get back with him. Now I don't no if I can get past this and for us to move on.

  3. I am dating my boy named Anthony and I can't get over his past and his mistakes he had one little white lie about his past and I found out he said it because he was scared of what I would think of him but when we first started dating 3 days later he gave me his fb information and I seen a message from these to Girls and one called him hun and said she missed him and he missed her to they planned to hang out but the plan didn't follow through because she couldn't and then this other girl kept saying she loved him I was going to leave him but he told me he was sorry and we kinda sorted things out he deleted all girls off face book I ask my Freinds they say he doesn't talk to any and he said he doesn't either he blows his heart out and cries he's so dramatic and emotional with things my Freinds and I noticed that his words are real but I just feel bad that it happend and it kills me to think about his past even though everything was like 3 mins what do I do

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