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What to Do if You Want To Kill Yourself & Feel Suicidal

by Dawson McAllister

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What to Do if You Want To Kill Yourself & Feel Suicidal

Guy with hands covering face distraught and feeling suicidal wants to kill himself

Do You Feel Suicidal Right Now?

These four interventions could save your life or the life of someone you love when they or you feel suicidal.

I know life can be hard and problems can pile so high that we cannot see a way out. I want to give you some practical ideas to try when you are at the depth of despair and feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. When you feel suicidal please try these four steps.

When you have lost hope and believe suicide is the only way out, please try these four ideas:

1. Reach Out for Help

I understand that finding the strength to do this can be really hard, especially if you also feel alone, but people are available to help.

  • Call or chat with the Suicide Prevention LifeLine at 1-800-273-8255 or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
  • Call your Contract For Life Partner
Every person who is even remotely thinking of suicide needs a Contract For Life partner. Click To Tweet

What is a Contract for Life Partner?
Every person who is even remotely thinking of suicide, should have a Contract For Life partner. A Contract For Life partner is someone you trust and who understands you. This is someone you make a commitment to that says, I promise that if I have serious thoughts of killing myself, I will talk with you or with someone else I trust before I do anything destructive.

John is a survivor and here is his advice, “Don’t keep quiet if you are going to hurt yourself or others…please speak up. If you are feeling suicidal then talk to someone, don’t keep quiet about it. There is someone out there who will listen to you.” You can read his full story here.

Keely said she has an older friend she calls when she feels suicidal thoughts coming on: I told her everything. And I told her that I need her help. Sometimes I just call to hear her voice to know I’m not alone. Other times, I ask if we can get together. She doesn’t grill me, she’s just there for me.

A Contract For Life partner is priceless because you can meet with them face to face or talk on the phone anytime. If you do not have one, please make it a priority to go looking for one today.

2. Refer to your Safety Plan

Take time right now to print out the Prevention Checklist and fill in the blanks of the  Suicide Safety Plan.  Then when you are feeling hopeless pull out your plan and follow what you have written down.

3. Remove whatever can harm you at that very moment.

If there are guns, knives, and pills in your house, then RUN from your house. Get away from anything you can use to hurt yourself. This will buy you time to settle down and begin to think rationally. Some people are most suicidal when they are drunk. Have someone you know and trust clear all those things out of your house.

Wendalin said she was suicidal for over three years, but was helped by knowing she wasn’t alone:  I had a friend who was there for me no matter what. I tried to push this friend away so many times, she took away the knifes and scissors I’d cut with, my Dad’s diving knife, my grandpa’s gun, and the hose and rope so I couldn’t hang myself. Even though I was so mad at her for it, I knew she cared and that she really did love me.

At your darkest hour reach out for help. #suicideprevention Click To Tweet

Glory wrote: I tried a couple times but it never really worked. Then one night I realized something. If you can’t change it, get over it. There are much better things to do in life then sit around hating life. God gave us life so we should use it. Killing yourself is only running away from your problems. It won’t help one bit.

4. Turn to other Activities

The key here is to get your mind off of doing the unthinkable. If you are near suicide, you want to change the subject, or divert your mind from what you were planning to do. Walk, jog, bike, swim, take a nap, take a hot shower, watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, do household chores, clean, go shopping, go to the park, volunteer at an animal shelter for a few hours – An excuse to play with puppies? Yes please! Anything that has the potential to help you lift your spirit.

Kelsey discovered this worked for her: I actually went and got a knife to kill myself and I just stopped and I was thinking this really isn’t solving my problems is it? So I just decided to try to get into something like hip-hop classes, get my mind off my life, and just try to live life to the fullest.

You were made for more

I know it feels like life will never get better, but I believe that you can get to the other side of this pain. I believe you were created for more than what you are feeling right now. God designed you in His image. He breathed life into you. He KNOWS you and LOVES you and has a purpose for your life.  It may not FEEL that way, but we can’t always trust our feelings.

There is a man in the Bible who God says was a man after his heart. His name was David.  Yet David struggled with his feelings a lot. Read the book of Psalms and you will see what I am talking about.  For example, here is what King David said in Psalm 6:6-9, “All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies. Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer.”  Here are other Bible verses to encourage you – Verses of Hope when Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts

There are many more articles on TheHopeLine regarding suicide and we want you to know you are not alone. You matter, you are good enough and you are loved.

You matter, you are good enough and you are loved. #suicideprevention Click To Tweet

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

For more on what to do if you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, download this eBook from TheHopeLine:

Photo Credit: Christian Erfurt

Filed Under: Depression, Mental Health, Self-Care, Self-Esteem, Suicide Tagged With: Dawson's Blog

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Matthew says

    October 2, 2019 at 8:02 am

    I’m a fifteen-year-old and I was my grandfather’s primary caregiver for at least 7 years. We had to take him to the hospital one day and after this, he was never the same he recently died. I feel like I have nothing to live for, I feel like I was already slightly depressed but recently I feel as if my depression and anxiety has quickly plummeted. My medication barely works. I tried to jump in front of a car and was 10 inches from death I have also severely cut my self on multiple occasions, and I also recently had to go to a mental hospital to keep me from killing myself. I have nothing in this world anymore and I’ve tried to find articles or survivor stories that could maybe help me but they all say the same crap about how I am wanted, I am loved, or some other dumb sh*t like this. I understand that all of those people are trying their best yet it won’t work I’m most likely going to end it all sometime next month, but I still try my hardest to find a reason to live. I most likely will never accomplish anything but that’s okay I’ll probably die in some gruesome way anyway so why not just end it all right now. Well I hope someone looks at this and sees how a child’s life could be ruined by abuse, grief, and neglect maybe it’ll change someone’s life but I highly doubt that. Well I guess this is goodbye for me, hmmm I thought it would be hard to think I could actually go through with it but I’ve been hurt so much I don’t think I feel pain.

    Reply
    • thehopeline says

      October 2, 2019 at 1:35 pm

      Matthew, You are going through extreme grief, right now and we understand that it feels like you will always feel this way. Especially going through the abuse and neglect you mentioned too. You mentioned your meds barely work…it’s important that you tell your doctor or an adult about this. While you are going through this extreme time of grief perhaps your doctor can adjust them. We know you don’t want to hear all the things that people say, however, we do care and we want you to get through this tragic time in your life. Would you chat online with one of our HopeCoaches today? https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ Also, here is an article that is on one of our partner sites, it may help you: https://issuesiface.com/magazine/suicide-giving-life-another-chance We have another partner that you can help you through your thoughts of suicide. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

      Reply
    • M L says

      November 20, 2019 at 7:57 pm

      Im hurting badly inside but Who promised death would end suffering? I dreamt a man was suffering internally and jumped off a bridge. I looked over and saw his soul screaming in agony what did I do while his body bleed out. He found no resolve only worse pain. Being alive hurts sometimes but it comes with a chance to change. You may have to fight for it but the universe will respect your choice and ur life will get better. Keep trying to quit and youll keep finding reasons why you should. GOD bless

      Reply
  2. Jill says

    August 31, 2019 at 1:19 pm

    When I feel the way I feel right now, NOTHING helps, and all this crap about mattering, being important, being cared about and there being hope is complete BULLS**T. It’s ridiculous and unhelpful and makes me hate myself even more. I am a stupid, dumb, c**t wh**re b***h, unlovable, unlikable, worthless, useless, hopeless, aging and getting fat and ugly. My checking account is $350 overdrawn, and I have zero savings, zero retirement, zero life insurance, $50,000 in student loan debt I will NEVER be able to repay, no job, can’t pay rent, and will be homeless within a week. I am about to lose every possession I have except my dog (my cat went missing a week ago). A friend agreed to take my dog so that he isn’t homeless, but isn’t willing to let me stay with her even though she has a big, beautiful house with an extra bedroom and two large, separate living areas with multiple full-size couches, any one of which I’d be willing to sleep on. I’d set up a tent in the backyard if she’d let me. I am too depressed to shower, brush my teeth, walk my dog, or clean my house and too anxious to apply for jobs. I have had multiple concussions and have lost a lot of cognitive functioning, so I will never be able to have a professional career position again. My depression and anxiety are debilitating even though I am on medications. Counseling doesn’t help. I have done three intensive outpatient programs, and they were all COMPLETE WASTE of time and money. I self-harm brutally (cut through two layers of muscle in my arm in a rage of self-hatred and pain; heated up a metal skewer in the oven and repeated burned myself in the same spot on my thigh, then rubbed dog sh*t into the third degree burn because that’s what I DESERVE). I hit myself repeatedly in the head with hardcover books and shoes so hard I see stars. I hit myself on the arms and legs with a hammer or other hard objects. I cut severely and deeply. And you idiots want to tell me I am cared about, that I matter, and that there is hope? WHAT hope? My best option is to kill myself in a remote area of my beloved Rocky Mountains and let the animals take care of my corpse because who is going to pay to bury me when I have no life insurance or other assets? If I stay alive, I will die homeless and probably in a really ugly way. Even if I somehow manage to rally and get a job and not be homeless, when I can’t live alone anymore, I will go into a nasty, horrible low-income nursing home and die alone. I have no children and will never have children, which also means no grandchildren. I wanted marriage and children.

    You smiling happy delusional people are going to send me the same response you send to everyone else, and it is going to make me sick and angry and hateful because you are in denial and are trying to fight logical. I FEEL bad emotionally and mentally. I am in pain. I also see things very rationally and view my options logically. I feel like I can’t go on, and I see what any intelligent and reasonable person can see, which is that there is no reason for me to stay alive.

    Reply
    • thehopeline says

      September 2, 2019 at 10:12 pm

      Dear Jill, We are sorry for our delay in replying to you. Everyone deserves help and everyone deserves to be told that they matter and that they are worthy no matter how they feel about their selves. You matter and you are valuable! You are dealing with a lot. The debt and mental health challenges you mentioned are leading you to feel hopeless. You are not out of options. There is hope. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too. Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources. You can chat online with one of our HopeCoaches too at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/

      Reply
  3. Ella says

    May 25, 2019 at 2:01 pm

    I hate my looks and myself in general and my brother, closest dogs, and my two grandpas died a little while ago and my parents don’t have time for me and I’m treated unfairly compared to my sister and I compare myself to other people and I just overall hate myself and I think that if I died no one would really care and I’m sick of being called horrible names by jerks all the time it’s better if I was dead…

    Reply
  4. chiara says

    April 25, 2019 at 4:06 pm

    My mom died and my dad has a new wife she always says she loves me but she told me i cannot be myself and i have to act like she wants me to. i feel like my dad doesn’t care at all and my friends say i don’t have any problems. i just feel like there is nothing to look forward to and nobody who would care if i just kill myself one night…

    Reply
  5. imdone says

    April 14, 2019 at 5:06 am

    I just dont know how to say the things that I feel its so hard everyone is hating me even my parents my mom calls me a b***h and i just cant live anymore nobody cares about me all I know is that im done i just cant i have no reason to live this life im just hurting…

    Reply
    • thehopeline says

      April 15, 2019 at 10:17 am

      It sounds like you are going through a lot, right now. We are proud of you for reaching out for help. It’s important that you continue talking to someone about how you are feeling about yourself and others. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resour

      Reply
  6. Mark says

    April 13, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    Had it all but was in marriage that involved partner who controlled And alienated me from my family and friends. She threatened to leave me at my fathers funeral because I was going to go with my brothers and sisters in the limo to the grave site Stayed until youngest was 18 and the other three in college. Had an affair and two years later still with this woman. Love her very much. My children have alienated me and going through separation proceedings ex wants to use them as witnesses to discuss school expenses even though I have been paying support from the date of separation and have offered to give her the house. She continues to control me with this provocative move and as a result I feel like ending it. I can’t even think or look forward to what my life with my new partner will be like. I

    Reply
    • thehopeline says

      April 15, 2019 at 10:28 am

      Mark, It may not feel like there is a way out of the challenges you are in, but there is! Please do not give up on this life. You matter. Don’t let the choices of others (your ex) make you want to end your life. You mentioned that you are in a relationship with a woman you love very much. Do not rob yourself and her of this love. Stand tall and courageous. Time will help you with your situation and challenges. You can overcome. Be a light and show your children that you will overcome this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

      Reply
  7. Nainika says

    March 25, 2019 at 3:11 pm

    Going through a bad phase of life got married the person I love against the family but now this chain of domestic violence is not stopping , everything is just falling apart , he doesn’t earn money is a regular drinker beats me up Infront of my kids abuses threatens me , my kids cry Infront of this monster but he don’t stop, his parents couldn’t help me but make conditions worse by threatening me because they don’t like me and I’m not their choice, cannot discuss all of this with my parents again and again because this is my decision everytime I come back to this man hoping he had changed, now I feel killing my self because I cannot take it more , I give up , I’m s self esteemed woman but getting insulted this way makes me prone to suicidal thoughts wish I find peace after killing my self wish my parents and kids don’t be to suffer because of me

    Reply
    • thehopeline says

      March 25, 2019 at 3:44 pm

      Nainika, You are valuable and important. Your life matters and giving up is not the answer. It’s important that you get yourself and the kids out of the house into a safe place. We understand that is easier said than done, without help. You can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1.800.799.7233 or CHAT with them at https://www.thehotline.org/what-is-live-chat/
      Also, We have some resources we can give you to help you with your thoughts of suicide. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-reso

      Reply
  8. Help me says

    March 25, 2019 at 1:39 am

    I just want to end it all. I lost my mom. I have no job. My marriage is suffering, my kids are suffering. I just can’t deal with the pain anymore:

    Reply
    • thehopeline says

      March 25, 2019 at 11:13 am

      Please stay! Do not give up on yourself or leave your kids. When we are in so much pain and suffering it’s hard to understand how valuable and worthy we are. You are worthy and your life matters. You are not alone we are here to listen. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
      Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.

      Reply
    • I would rather not say says

      March 26, 2019 at 4:11 am

      I cut myself I cry myself to sleep nobody likes me my own parents hate me what should I do I have depression lifes to Dull to continue….. Nobody would care of I committed suicide they don’t care about anything else I do I was taken out of school because of my friend choice in 13 years old in going 14 in June my old teachers son my neighbor killed himself over his life being so bad I think I might just join him please help me.

      Reply
      • thehopeline says

        March 26, 2019 at 1:16 pm

        Self-harm is very hard to overcome without help. We have a partner that will help you with the need to self-harm.
        • You can text them at 1-803-570-2061 (Alternative No. 914-393-1904) Texting is available Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday 8:30 – 10:30 EST.
        • Their website is http://www.doorofhope4teens.org.
        • You can email them to doorofhope4teens@gmail.com (answered in 24/48 hrs)
        Your life matters! The depression that you are experiencing is escalating the suicidal thoughts you are having. Please call or chat online with The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ Or Crisis Text Line 27/7 by texting “Start” to 741-741 Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
        Take a chance and reach out to Door of Hope for help. You will be glad you did. They have helped many teens and young adults we have sent them to overcome self-harm.
        We are also emailing you a private number to our partner that you can talk to about your suicidal thoughts too. Please know we care and want you to stay.

        Reply
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