About two months ago, I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me with about three guys. I was always a big fan of the show, so I always listened to the show and be like, Wow, they have it so much worse than me. But one night when I was on the verge of suicide, I was thinking, What would Dawson tell me to do? I ran downstairs to tell my father that I was suicidal, so I checked into a mental ward, I started counseling, and I figured I do exactly what Dawson would have told me to do. Now that I’m receiving medication, I’m happier than ever. I’ve gotten so many more friends because I’m alive. I have great friends around me and amazing family – and I’ve grown so much closer to my father. Your show has helped me a tremendous amount, so I just wanted to say thank you again, Dawson for hosting your show and do what you do.

Hi, Dawson. I wanted to thank you for helping so many people and especially for helping me. I was once suicidal, but I listened to your show and it helped me get out of the suicidal thoughts. And I wanted to let everybody who is suicidal out there know that there is hope. Thank you, Dawson.

Hey, Dawson. I called you guys wanting to kill myself and after talking to you I ended up going to a place where they tried to help me. I called before and talked to the HopeCoach because even after that, things are still hard. But I realized everything you did tell me was true – that I do have a purpose, and that I have to keep a positive attitude. And I want to let teens know out there that no matter what, if they can come through that, as long as they’re positive, and if they call you or even a HopeCoach, it will definitely help. But I just wanted to say thank you, and you have given me hope. Thanks, Dawson!

A compilation dealing with suicide.

Dawson: Hey, Tiler. What’s going on?

Tiler: Umm, nothing, actually. I was actually just calling to thank you because I called in around September, and I didn’t talk to you, but I talked to one of the [HopeCoaches], and pretty much they helped me with like everything I was going through. And if it wasn’t for me calling, then I don’t think I would be here today.

Dawson: What do you mean?

Tiler: Umm, because at the time, I had just gotten dumped, and the guy that dumped me, I was pretty much…like…head over heels for…and he was my everything. We hung out everyday, and he meant everything to me. And once we broke up, I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t have any friends anymore. He led me on for two months saying we would get back together, and a week before my birthday he started dating somebody else.

Dawson: So you were close to suicide? You were considering it?

Tiler: Yeah, and I really was close. My parents knew some of what I was going through, and I got put on anti-depressants. And at school, I have a counseling group and it’s called Oasis. But even there, they didn’t understand it.

Dawson: So you went to TheHopeLine a few months ago, and it helped?

Tiler: Yeah, it did a lot. And what I was told was to forget him, because obviously he never loved me if he had to hurt me that much.

Dawson: Can you imagine if you would have killed yourself over this loser? What a terrible, terrible waste. I am so happy we could help you, Tiler.

Tiler: Yeah, I thank you too, though, because if I hadn’t had called in, I don’t know what would have happened.

Dawson: God bless you.

It started one night that I was having issues with a girl that I had real good feelings for. Me and her got really close and everything, and then out of nowhere she decided she wanted to breakup and it put me in a very bad state of mind. That’s when my mom came out to check on me to see how I was doing. She knew I was upset and really hurt. I told her that I just wanted to be left alone so I could get my thoughts straight, but yet clearly I was not in the right state of mind. She told me she would come out and get me and I told her the dead, honest truth… “Once you walk away from my car, your son will not be here no more.” And she looked in my lap and saw the hand gun that was sitting on my seat.

She took me over to the hospital, doing the right thing that she should have…trying to take care of me, watch out for me. I spent the weekend in there, got out, I thought everything was going to work out fine…went to my dad’s house for the weekend. Me and my step-mom started talking and I found out some bad news. I lost it again, I went flying home, and then I had thoughts of what I was going to do going down the road…the way I could end it, the way I could just get over it, and just be done with it. Because at that point, I was done. I did not want life no more…I prayed that somebody would come and take it, or by chance my car would just flip where I would lose it.

And then I changed the station and started hearing Dawson talking on the radio. And then I called him and explained my situation and me and him talked, and then he started pulling out the positives in life, what to look for, what to do and that…and then everything clicked.

Life is always gonna be a battle…and trying to take your life is just an easy way out. It’s not worth it. It’s not gonna make nothing better. I still listen to his station, and I’ll never stop. And I mean the older you get, yeah, you’re still gonna realize more, you’re still gonna have problems, but there’s always going to be somebody there to talk to you. And for me, Dawson and my mom were there, and if it wasn’t for them, I can honestly say, that I would probably still be heavy in drugs and out on the street not knowing who I am, locked up, or worst case scenario I would be dead right now if it wasn’t for them.

I was feeling pretty down on myself. I was feeling really depressed. You know, I didn’t have a will to live, I wanted to die. My boyfriend who listens to [the] show and reads [Dawson’s] blog, suggested that I read [the] blog that [Dawson] has about suicide. Well, I go and I read it and it touched me…So I called TheHopeLine because they don’t have a lot of counseling services in my area that is affordable, especially for a college student.

They told me, “Hey, you need to go to your school counselors and see what they can do.” They were like, “This is a great place to start.” And I was like, “You know, you’re right.”…and I did that and just over this past week God has blessed me. I realized that the reason why I’ve been so depressed and so down on myself was because my family situation is horrible, me and my mom have a horrible relationship…I’m not close to anybody in my family. I don’t have very many friends; kind of a recluse in that area. But I called and I found a way to get myself help because I wanted so badly to get some help.

Just this past week, I’ve got my own apartment…and everything has been just great. It’s been amazing. I found some friends who have the same problem I do…people right under my nose I didn’t know were there. I just want to thank [Dawson], because if it wasn’t for [him] and the show, I wouldn’t be where I’m at now. And in one week, things have completely changed…and I thank [TheHopeLine] so much for what [they] do. I want to tell everyone else out there that has that problem, take that first step…and if you take that first step, which is the hardest and it sucks…but you take that first step and everything goes uphill from there.

I had an addiction to masturbation and pornography. I kinda isolated myself from other people. I figured that they would shun me for it.

I’m 19 and it was probably a year ago when I kinda hit the bottom and was thinking about suicide…things didn’t really seem to be worth working on anymore. I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t want to tell anybody because it was embarrassing. I felt like there was nobody I could turn to.

But as I listened to the show, I realized that it was not solely my problem. I’m not the only one…you’re not the only one. There’s lots of other people who are struggling with just life, really. And I heard about some of the people who have had problems with relationships, job problems, or addictions…and they had been able to come out of it and overcome it. And then they talked about how as long as you keep working at it, you’ll be able to conquer anything.

Just listening to other people’s stories, and how they’ve overcome things they thought they couldn’t overcome really inspired me and kinda taught me that I can overcome things I didn’t think I could overcome. [The show] was one of the main things that kinda pulled me back from the edge, and slid me out of my cell…and just kinda showed me that life’s worth living, as long as you take control and live it and not let it run you.

A year ago when I called I was dealing with suicidal thoughts to the point of trying to commit suicide. I was basically cutting myself in my room with whatever I could find. I had extremes, so everything goes to an extreme. So I’m doing everything to the breaking point of any emotion. So it’s like so much tension building up until I’m just clawing myself to get free of it and get it out of me.

I happened to be listening to the radio at the same time, and I heard TheHopeLine and what [Dawson] was doing and I just called the number to try and get some help because I was really close to losing it. And I talked to someone on TheHopeLine, they wound up putting me to the Crisis Line. While talking to them, they got an ambulance to my house and wound up going to the hospital and going to the 8^th floor…and got some help…and I’m basically alive today from that, from TheHopeLine.

There’s always someone to talk to because you can’t go back once you do it. You can’t take it back and it’ll cost you more than you know.

Mac: I called about probably four or five years ago, and I called when I was really over-obese.

Dawson: How overweight were you?

Mac: I weighed 357 lbs. at the time and I was probably 5’6’’…5’7’’.

Dawson: Wow, you were a big boy.

Mac: I was huge. And it just seemed like everything was going downhill. My parents splitting up because my step-dad was going through some bad stuff in the home. I just felt like I was at the end of the road.

Dawson: So, you called me. You got to the end of the road and called me?

Mac: I called you.

Dawson: What happened?

Mac: You asked me if I tried losing weight and I told you I tried, and you told me to keep trying to do that. You told me it’s not my choice when the end of the road is, it’s someone else’s. Some of the words you used just really made me think a little bit. Pretty much if I hadn’t had called that night, I wouldn’t be here today…at all. I know that for a fact.

Dawson: You would have killed yourself?

Mac: That night.

Dawson: That night you were going to kill yourself.

Mac: I hadn’t talked to anybody…I finally got the courage to call you, and ever since then, I’ve had a couple friends commit suicide…I’ve had a couple friends try to commit suicide, and the ones that I did get to talk to beforehand, I’ve shared your advice with them. I also gave them my story about what happened…and their still here today, living a whole lot better, seeing things from a way different point of view.

Dawson: Not only did you not kill yourself, but you’ve also been able to help others who would have killed themselves.

Mac: Yes, sir. And I went from being 358 lbs., to now I’m happily, I think, 205-210 lbs.

Dawson: Wow. Well you know I’d like to credit for a lot of this, but the fact of the matter is, you did it. You said, “Okay, I’m not going to kill myself tonight. Okay, I am going to follow some wise advice.” You know I’m not the hero of the story, Mac YOU’RE the hero of the story!

 

Well I’ve also struggled with cutting off and on over the past nine and a half years. And sometimes I’ll feel that over the suicide, or sometimes I’ll feel both at the same time. I just get so tired of all the stuff I have to deal with sometimes and I just get overwhelmed and sometimes I feel like I would be better off dead, but I know that’s not the truth. And it’s been hard for me off and on too, because I also have bipolar and borderline personality disorder which makes it even harder a lot of times.

 

So, basically what I do is I try and pick up the phone now instead of going out and acting on my thoughts. Because there’s times where I’ve acted out by overdosing or cutting, and I had a real close call back in May when I overdosed on a bunch of different medications, I had to be put on a respirator.

 

I knew I needed help and I needed someone to talk to, so I go to TheHopeLine to seek counsel. And it just makes a huge difference to know that there’s somebody there that’s wanting to help me, who cares, and who understands to a point, and who’s trained. It makes a difference because I know that when I feel better spiritually, I start to feel better mentally as well.

 

I think there’s a chance I could have been dead, and that I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t be as strong…and the other resources that TheHopeLine has sent me, including a book that you guys sent me that I read over and over and over again that really seems to help.  I really think I would be worse off if I hadn’t called TheHopeLine.

 

It’s a scary thing to deal with, but there is hope and there is help out there, you just have to seek it and not be afraid to seek it because if you don’t open up then you’re just gonna end up probably dead…and its better to seek help from somebody you trust or somebody that you can just talk to, to talk you through it and help you get past it. It may not take overnight, but it does work when you call out for help and reach out for help.       

 

Seth: Hi Dawson, how are you doing?

 

Dawson: I’m doing well. Thank you.

 

Seth: I just called to say thanks for you and TheHopeLine. I called TheHopeLine about a month ago, and it really helped me and kinda made me turn my life around. I had some things going on. I had thoughts of suicide, and it really just helped.

 

I, at one point in time, had a rope around my neck. Everything that had been going on with me, I just…it wasn’t to the point where just, you know, I just wanted to kill myself, it was to the point where I was just so done and I gave up…I just didn’t know what else to do. The only thing that kinda stopped me was thinking about leaving my mom. I’m her only son, the only kid, so I couldn’t…it made me ball like a baby. I just couldn’t do it.

 

Dawson: Well, whatever it takes to stop you, you know, is your friend. I’m glad you called TheHopeLine…and we have hope behind it, so we call it TheHopeLine to give you hope. And Seth, I’m glad we could have been a part of your life in that regard.