This Guest Post comes from Everystudent.com, a safe place to explore questions about life and God. We thank them for allowing us to share their response to the very hard question everyone has asked at some point in their life…”Why does God allow bad things to happen?”
How do we explain what we see in this world?
Terrorist attacks, sex slavery, racism, world hunger?
Subconsciously, we probably ask ourselves questions like these quite often. But consciously we rarely do. We’re so busy living our lives we rarely stop and wonder WHY?
But then something happens to wake us up. Our parents get divorced. The girl down the street gets abducted. A relative gets cancer. That wakes us up for awhile. But then we can often sink back into the denial. That is, until another tragedy hits, another incongruence. Then we’re likely to think, Something isn’t right here. Something is really, really wrong. This isn’t how life’s supposed to be!
So, WHY do bad things happen?
Why isn’t this world a better place?
There is an answer to the WHY question, found in the Bible. But it’s not an answer that most people like to hear: the world is the way it is because it’s the world that we, in a sense, have asked for.
Sound strange?
What or who could make this world different than the way it is? What or who could guarantee that life is pain-free, for everyone, all the time?
God could. God could accomplish that. But he doesn’t. At least not right now. And we’re angry with him as a result. We say, “God can’t be all-powerful and all-loving. If he were, this world wouldn’t be the way it is!”
We say this hoping that God will then change his position on the matter. Our hope is that putting a guilt trip on him will make him change the way he’s doing things.
But he doesn’t seem to budge. WHY doesn’t he?
God doesn’t budge — he doesn’t change things right now — because he’s giving us what we asked for: a world where we get to treat him as though he is absent and unnecessary.
Remember the story of Adam and Eve? They ate the “forbidden fruit.” That fruit was the idea that they could ignore what God said or gave them, and strike out on life apart from God. For Adam and Eve sort of hoped that they could become like God, without God.
They consumed the notion that there was something more valuable in existence than God himself, something more valuable than having a personal relationship with God. And this world system — with all of its faults — came as a result of the choice they made.
Their story is the story of all of us, isn’t it? Who hasn’t said — if not audibly at least in their hearts — God, I think I can do this without you. I’ll just go this one alone. But thanks for the offer.
We’ve all tried to make life work without God.
Why do we do that? Probably because we’ve all bought the notion that there’s something more valuable, more important, than God. For different people it’s different things, but the mindset is the same: God isn’t what’s most important in life. In fact, I’d just as soon do it without him altogether.
What is God’s response to that?
He allows it. Many people experience the painful results of others’ or their own choices that run contrary to God’s ways…murder, sexual abuse, greed, lying/fraud, slander, adultery, kidnapping, etc.
All of these can be explained by people who have refused to give God access and influence over their lives. They are going about their lives as they see fit, and they and others suffer.
What’s God view on all of this?
He’s not smug. In fact, God could rightly be viewed as leaning forward, compassionate, hoping we will turn to him so that he can bring real life to us.
Jesus said, “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”1 But not all are willing to go to him. Jesus commented on this when he said: “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.”2
Again, Jesus brings the issue back to our relationship with him. “I am the light of the world. He who follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”3
But what about when life is unfair, when bad things happen to us?
What about those horrible circumstances that hit us in life, caused by someone other than ourselves? When we are feeling victimized, it’s useful to realize that God himself endured horrendous treatment from others. God more than understands what you are going through.
There is nothing in life that could be more painful than what Jesus endured on our behalf, when he was deserted by his friends, ridiculed by those who would not believe in him, beaten and tortured before his crucifixion, then nailed to a cross, in shameful public display, dying of slow suffocation.
He created us, yet allowed humanity the freedom to do this, to fulfill Scripture and to set us free from our sin. This was no surprise to Jesus. He was aware of what was coming, foreknowing all the details, all the pain, all the humiliation.
“And as Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the twelve disciples aside, and on the way he said to them, ‘Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of man will be delivered to the chief priests and scribes, and they will condemn him to death, and deliver him to the Gentiles to be mocked and scourged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day.”4
Imagine knowing something that awful was going to happen to you. Jesus understands emotional and psychological anguish. The night that Jesus knew they would arrest him, he went to pray, but took some friends with him.
“And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, ‘My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here and watch [keep awake] with me. And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will but as thou wills.”5
Though Jesus confided in his three friends, they didn’t understand the depth of his torment, and when Jesus returned from prayer he found them asleep. Jesus understands what it’s like going through pain and extreme sadness alone.
Here it is summarized, as John describes in his gospel: “He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world knew him not. He came to his own home, and his own people received him not. But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God.”6 “For God sent the Son into the world, not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”7
There is no question that there is pain and intense suffering in this world.
Some of it is explained by selfish, hateful actions on the part of others. Some of it defies an explanation in this life. But God offers us himself. God gives us the knowledge that he has endured also, and is aware of our pain and needs. Jesus said to his disciples, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”8
There is ample reason to be afraid, troubled, but God can give us his peace, which is greater than the problem before us. He is after all, God, the Creator. The one who has always existed. The one who created a universe on the backstroke.
Yet even in his power, he’s also the one who knows us intimately, even the smallest, insignificant details. And if we will trust him with our lives, relying on him, though we encounter difficulties, he will hold us securely.
Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”9 He went through our ultimate threat — death — and overcame it. He can take us through the difficult circumstances of this life, and then bring us into eternal life, if we will trust him.
We can either go through this life with God or without him.
Jesus prayed, “O righteous Father, although the world has not known you, yet I have known you; and these have known that you sent me; and I have made your name known to them, and will make it known, so that the love with which you loved me may be in them, and I in them.”10
You might find yourself asking, “Why is life so hard?” Without God, humanity is easily drawn into hatred, racism, sexual abuse, murdering each other.
Jesus said, “I came that you might have life, and have it more abundantly.”
This post was originally published here. If you have further questions about God? Please see www.everystudent.com If you have asked God into your heart please visit www.startingwithgod.com
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-Amanda
Angel said rubber bands have helped her. I’ve learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Ali said the key for her was she needed something physical to feel like she was still alive, that she was OK. So I mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I don’t cut…and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible, and stopping is realistic.
Have you had this thought as well? Do you feel you may benefit from seeing a counselor, but face fears about scheduling an appointment?
If I need help, something must be wrong with me. I must be broken or abnormal. 
Mental health and substance abuse treatment is for people who have an illness that deserves treatment, just as much as any other illness. It can’t be cured by trying harder or ignoring the problem.
Live Your Best Life
I
When she arrives almost 45 minutes late, you’re confident. You have the right words and that old shyness has melted into a hint of mystery.
Work was similar. One Wednesday evening, happy hour turned half my office into smashed zombies who danced on tables, ate Burger King at 1am, and slept under our desks so we could be on time for work in the morning. We told that story for years at happy hour.
What I discovered was that sober life was fun. I tried new things instead of planning a meetup at the bar. I went skeet shooting. Once, I traveled to eat famous Texas barbecue. I started reading and writing more. I still went to the bar with friends, but would order a soda water and lime and drive people home. I had just as much fun as compared to the times I was drinking. After a long period away from alcohol, I learned how to have a drink and even got into the craft brewing scene. I learned to respect alcohol and enforced healthy boundaries around it. The thought of waking up on the weekends with Metallica playing the loudest show ever in my head had lost its appeal.
Are you facing eating issues?
I Only Ever Loved One Woman
that moment. In a rage of 
They don’t ask for help but I can see when someone is feeling down and out and like there is no way out because I myself suffer from the same condition. I know for a fact that after tonight, you won’t wake up thinking the same negative things. Yes, they will still roam around in your mind but then when they do, just remember the small things in life, they are the biggest blessing you will receive. For me, it is seeing those lost and broken souls that are now healed by a simple act of caring and kindness and encouraging words. When someone needs someone to believe in them and listen to them with out judging and I do that and they smile.
These and other statements prove the addict has not yet come out of denial and is not yet ready to start the long journey to freedom. Allie put it really well: You must admit you have an addiction and then have the will to change it. You must understand that it will not be easy.(Allie) When somebody who’s addicted says, “I can’t go on like this; I will do whatever it takes to be set free,” then you know there is hope for that person.
The most well-known and used program that helps people overcome addictions is the 12 Step Program. Five of the twelve steps deal directly with one’s relationship with God. Only God can empower an addict to make the changes necessary for freedom. I received a very moving story from a guy named Dan. Once you have read his story, you will see how important a relationship with God can be:
When you think of ways to help in your fight against 
Sufficient sleep is especially crucial for anyone wanting to find freedom from addiction. Not only does the brain recharge and repair during sleep, there are rippling effects that impact the whole body. Going without sleep has been connected to lower immune function, serious disease and weight gain – as well as impaired ability to reason and think clearly.
Alright, one more example. While recharging your body through rest and good fuel is important, if you really want to supercharge it, then try something really radical: move around more!
Director and Founder of 
Rewind to 2012. It’s a new school year, I’m 24, sitting in a classroom with 18 year olds. “What am I doing with my life, why am I so far behind?” screamed the demons in my head, day in and day out. I’d go home, back to my parent’s house, feeling like I’ve lost all control. I felt like I should have had a career, apartment, life partner, and a solid core of friends by now. I could check one thing off that list. I had a great boyfriend, and I was lucky for that. Or so I thought. Eventually, I realized I had little control in that relationship as well. There I was, 24 years old, insecure, lost, and in the shadows.
Fast forward a year. I found myself single, seriously depressed, and not wanting to make much effort in my social life to be around the people who truly loved and cared for me. Sad, right? The only thing I had going for me was I was thin! Finally, I had control over something – my body! I could wear whatever I wanted. I felt confident in a bikini or crop top. I was getting compliments wherever I went. There was no better feeling than that. Wrong. It is easy (sometimes) to put on a happy face, but no matter how I looked, nothing changed the fact that I still couldn’t find happiness, acceptance, or just shut off all the demons in my head.
I finished my Bachelor of Commerce degree, I have a set career path, reconnected with and met some of the best friends I could ever ask for, and a family (and dog) who are my biggest fans and support group. I could not be happier with my life. I completed my Yoga Teacher Training, and am excited to embark in a new journey and help those who have suffered realize their true beauty through yoga and nutrition.
Jennifer (@jennilynnxo) is a passionate, caring, and outgoing 28 year old that has been stuck at the bottom of a mountain, but ended up happier than ever on the other side. Through battling an eating disorder, depression, and a few other obstacles, she has found healing, health, and happiness through therapy, meditation, and yoga. Jennifer has also found comfort in sharing her story, with hopes to help others rebuild their lives and have faith to move forward and follow their dreams in to their future.
I was going through a hard break up, and instead of cutting like I normally would I decided to take a notebook and write in it. 
![Thicker [Video] and Body Image](https://s3.amazonaws.com/com-thehopeline-www/LIVE7_NEW/LIVE/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/30114941/Capture2.jpg)
Like other addictive substances, pornography floods the brain with dopamine. This rush of chemicals over time can re-wire the pathways in your brain to increase your appetite for, and eventually dependence on, porn.[ii] Now you might be thinking Sure, I watch porn sometimes, but it’s not like I’m addicted. Well unfortunately, even moderate porn use is linked to damage in areas of the brain involved in motivation and decision-making.[iii] Not exactly what you’d want to sign up for.
None of our actions are in a vacuum. While most people think watching porn is a private act, there are actually many ways that it has broader social implications. Watching pornography, even the free videos, perpetuates the porn industry and the sex trafficking that occurs within it. In addition to this, pornography use is linked to increases in acceptance of sexual violence. 
Most everybody, at one time or another, has lied. Tell the truth now: that includes you and me. In fact, some people, sad to say, lie almost all the time. Psychologists call these people compulsive or psychopathic liars. They tell lies even when they don’t have to. Even the youngest of children will lie, especially if they think by doing it they won’t get punished for something. When children first learn how lying works, they lack the moral understanding of when to refrain from doing it.
well with me. He showed me how much he understands, and taught me how to slowly get rid of the heartbreak, as of course it’s not instant. He actually made me write the girl a letter saying goodbye, and then I sent it. It wasn’t the official end of the heartbreak, as it was still a long journey, but my mentor’s help made me feel a lot better, he made me feel I wasn’t alone. And most importantly, that God is with me.
I’m afraid that many times the warning messages to avoid certain addictive behaviors, go in one ear and out the other. The pitch is almost unbelievable, and it gets tuned out. But I have to tell you, the 
Addictions, at least at the beginning, make you feel great. I’ve heard people say, no one ever forgets their very first buzz…the magic of their addiction. Drugs (or addictive behaviors) work their charm by traveling to the brain’s reward system and telling it to release mega amounts of chemicals like dopamine (high rush), serotonin (euphoric calm), or norepinephrine (adrenaline thrill). So when these chemicals flood our brain, most people feel very, very good. In fact, they can make you feel so good that the feeling is beyond explanation. You’ve tried to explain it to me:
There’s tremendous pressure in our society to feel confident and have the capacity to accomplish a lot in a short time. The pressures of life can slow us down, rather than speed us up, making us feel weak and ineffective. But with some addictive behaviors, there is this incredible feeling of being invincible.
Addictions are expensive. Stealing becomes necessary to fund the addiction. As they say in Narcotics Anonymous, “Are you tired of the high price of low living?” When the craving for the addiction hits them, they often act in an irrational, cruel, and unbelievable way in order to dig up the money.
When you are living in this fantasy world, you soon become unaware of what’s happening in the real world around you. You become blind to reality, failing to see the hurt in the eyes of those who love you the most. A user doesn’t grasp what the addiction is doing to their loved ones, and how it is destroying their relationships. After all, a user is a user. They end up using whoever is near them so they can keep feeding the addiction, and the addiction is always very hungry. The problem with users is they soon forget how to love because they become so self-absorbed and selfish.
Unfortunately, while you think you are finding freedom and vacation from the struggles of life, what you are really doing is turning into a slave to your addiction. No one ever goes into an addiction telling themselves, “My life is going to be totally taken over by this cruel thing.”
That’s a lot of money. Think of all the good things that could happen if our society had 500 billion dollars to invest in schools, health care, and helping the poor. But it’s blown every year on addictions. That’s bad enough, but what hurts more is what it does to you and me. When I talk to teenagers and young adults on my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, I hear so many sad stories from people whose lives are being ruined by addictions. After all, 60%-70% of Americans have some kind of addiction. Why do so many people fall victim to an addiction? I’ve thought about and researched addictions for quite some time, and I believe there are four main reasons for addictions.
When we get involved in addictions, we are attempting to trade a high to replace a low. The high comes from chemicals or some repetitive behavior that gives us pleasure, and the low comes from the emotional and spiritual pain in our lives. Some people call this spiritual and emotional pain a hole in our soul. Those headed for a cruel addiction ask themselves a good question: “Why not fill the hole in my soul with a high? That will surely do the trick. What could be wrong with that?”
I have known people who have gone on drug and alcohol induced binges for months and months trying to forget the conflicts and hurts they face everyday. They barely function.
Put another way, only a deep, meaningful relationship with God can truly set us free. That’s why just about every recovery group for an addiction uses the same proven 12 step program and only adapts it slightly for each addiction. Six of the twelve steps talk directly about God. Rather than working on a deeper relationship with God, we make the addiction our god. God created you and me to know and love Him. All addictions make a lousy god. Is it any wonder then most people who have an addiction are eventually miserable? Here the good news: the same God who never wanted you addicted to begin with will give you the strength to recover. It’s a matter of trusting Him to heal you and committing your life to letting God help you turn your entire life around.
nd how hard it can be to confront a problem like this. It’s like hiding a monster in your closet where you’re afraid to let it out, but in a weird way, you like having him there.
