TheHopeLine

Respect

The Secret Behind a Healthy Relationship

couple-sitting-on-sofa-with-their-dog-enjoying-a-healthy-relationship

Guest Post by Aimee Wathen

The equation for a healthy relationship and how to tell if you’re in one or ready for one.

Relationships can be are tough. They take work. They take commitment. They can’t give up when it gets hard. They should strive to, not only see the good in the person but also help each other become the best version of themselves.

     Anyone who argues that is a prime candidate for this post.

 

So, what’s the magic equation for a healthy relationship?

I’m not sure there is one, but I can certainly think of some qualities and habits that are essential for beating the odds.

Common Beliefs/Lifestyle

This tops the list for a reason. I don’t care how great your communication or loyalty is with your significant other if you don’t have this, all other aspects that make a relationship good will eventually become a colossal challenge.

How do I know? Because I’ve lived it. And I’ve watched nearly all of my friends live it too.

I would argue that nearly all relationships start with a physical attraction. It’s just the reality of it, so let’s be adults and admit it. The whole “love is blind” cliche quote was likely derived from this stage. At the beginning of every relationship, or heck even a mini-crush (as my girlfriends in college used to refer to them as), you become wrapped up in getting to know the person. The basic stuff. The exciting stuff. The areas that this person chooses to reveal to you. I’m not saying people aren’t open books – I most certainly am from the beginning of a relationship, but even red flags are ignored, or worse; seem endearing – almost as if you’re the only person they’ve ever let in on that deep of a level.

But once the excitement of this new relationship wears off, where do you two stand? Do you agree on the big things? Faith? Family? How you want to live your life? Ask yourself that, and be honest with the answer.

As I’ve gotten older and moved halfway across the country, it’s become increasingly more difficult to detect this critical aspect of a relationship early on. Almost entirely because I don’t know these guys from Adam, unlike when I lived in Nashville and had at least 20 mutual friends with a prospective boyfriend. My advice?  Take a few weeks to get to know this person in a group setting. This will help you learn more about the person before you engage in an emotional connection. This can protect you, to some degree, from having your heart override knowledge. One-on-one time forms habits, emotional ties and comfort zones which lead to overlooking the big stuff like – common beliefs and lifestyles. Don’t believe me? Go find a handsome and witty guy, who you have nothing in common with other than attraction, and tell me that charm doesn’t make you feel attached. Kidding. Mostly.

How to Find a Meaningful Relationship

Communication

Of course, communication is key, but I’m not talking about word vomiting because you feel entitled to hash out every rational or irrational thought you’re having. Your significant other isn’t a sounding board for your insecurities. I learned that the hard way.

There is a right and wrong way to communicate. You must learn to communicate with your partner in a way that resonates with him or her. You can talk about how you’re feeling all day long, but if the other party interprets the message or tone wrong, you will get absolutely nowhere. If you’re confused about why you’re having the same conversation time and time again, ASK QUESTIONS. The best thing I learned during a relationship building course at church was; during discussions or arguments, ask the other person what they heard from you. It seems cheesy, and both he and I laughed through it (probably not great because the other couples were in marriage crisis mode and we were in the honeymoon phase), but it worked.

I highly recommend reading the book,  The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It will give you a better understanding of how that person feels loved and better insight into their communication style because of how they love. It creates awareness of each other’s needs.

It’s imperative that both of you feel comfortable and confident enough that the conversations you two have will only build more respect and understanding for one another. If you bottle up feelings or resort to harsh tones, it will only build resentment and likely ruin your communication because one, or both of you, will emotionally shut down.

There's a right and wrong way to communicate. Communicate with your partner in a way that resonates with them. Click To Tweet

 

Quality Time and Time Apart

Quality over Quantity

I love making memories. Anything from talking over coffee on the porch, cooking together, running errands, or special events.  I don’t need to go on extravagant trips with my person to feel like it’s quality time. What I desire, and I think most people desire, is a real connection. Having someone in the room with you during all your free time doesn’t automatically make the relationship blossom. If you’re not investing thought into creating memories, you’re not doing yourself or the relationship justice.

Maintain Independence

Spending time with your other half is important, but reserving time for friends and your hobbies is as equally important. I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again…that person is in your life to share it, not be it. I love reading, riding my bike or even just watching a movie alone. I also love hanging out with my girlfriends. If I know one thing, it’s that all of my friends are there to pick up any broken pieces during or after a relationship. Treat the people in your life with just as much love as you treat your significant other. Trust me. He wants to hang with his buddies without you sometimes too.

Respect, Positivity, and Forgiveness 

I’m using all of these as verbs. Action verbs. The act of being respectful, positive and forgiving. During the course of your relationship, you can pretty much count on cycling through each of them. On repeat.

Both of you must respect each other to the highest degree. This means trusting, honoring, being loyal, and acting as each other’s biggest fan. There is nothing worse for a man than hitting his pride, especially in front of others. Men are wired differently than women. He needs to feel respected. He needs to feel like you’re supportive and proud of him. He wants to lead. The moment you begin to take that away from him is the moment he begins to internalize. Disrespect is going to happen (on accident) because let’s face it, we women are emotional and when we don’t feel loved we tend to react. But that’s where forgiveness comes into play. Just be sure to own up to your actions, ladies.

Respect your partner to the highest degree. This means trusting, honoring, and being loyal to each other. Click To Tweet

 

Men: On the other hand, we women, are rooted in needing to feel loved. It’s just the way God created us.  You need respect, even if that means we must bite our tongue until after the dinner party, and we need love. Do we need flowers every week? No, although that would be okay 🙂 We want to hold hands, to be told you think we’re pretty, to feel adored in public, to feel cherished. I once had a boyfriend who would bring me coffee in the mornings or leave notes on my car windshield. He would send me songs that made him think of me and hold my hand every time we were in the car. He would fill up my gas tank and take pictures of me when I wasn’t looking, just because he thought I was being cute. I felt SO loved. On the other hand, I’ve dated someone who bought me nice things, had people run errands for me because he was busy and slapped my butt as he walked by. Yet, he also bought me flowers every week. Still, I felt blah. Do you see the difference? Okay, good.

I could go on for days about dating, but I will stop there. It’s a lot to take in. If you’re in a relationship, I encourage you to take this post into account and make adjustments where it’s needed. If you’re like me, and the closest thing you have to a boyfriend or girlfriend is your dog, I urge you to allow this to soak in and practice these habits in your next relationship.

Reach out and let us know your success stories or your biggest dating flops in the comments below. 🙂

LOVE,

Aimee

Aimee Wathan is a 32-year-old Nashville female who loves Jesus and looks at life for what it is; messy and beautiful. After writing for Christian magazines and nonprofit blogs, Balanced Chaos came to life when she realized the world needed a raw dose of reality.

This article was Originally published at Balanced Chaos.

Photo Credit: S A R A H ✗ S H A R P

Do you seem to be caught in an endless cycle of bad dating relationships? Find out how to stop in TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

You Can Be Twenty-Five Percent Happier

by Dawson McAllister

 

thankful happy girl

Giving Thanks Increases Happiness

Let’s be honest. Sometimes life is really hard. We feel broken, lonely, shamed, hopeless. It’s hard to find the positive in anything. And why should we even bother to try? Everything is just messed up. But what if we made a point to find SOMETHING to be happy for. What would happen to us?

Trust me, I’ve had my share of trials. Did you know I have a son who was in a car accident in his early twenties and now lives in a nursing home because he had a traumatic brain injury? It’s sometimes hard to “look on the bright side.” I get it.

But here’s something to consider, research has proven that intentionally giving thanks for things in your life, even in the tough times, increases your happiness by twenty-five percent! Now tell me, who doesn’t want to be twenty-five percent happier?

Research Proves You Can Be 25% Happier

In a study done by Emmons and McCullough, they asked some of the participants to maintain a journal recording things for which they were grateful and a separate group of participants to record things they found annoying. When the results came back they found that participants in the group monitoring things for which they were grateful had significantly higher levels of well-being than the others. It turns out that practicing gratitude increases happiness, optimism, and satisfaction with your life by approximately 25%.

Thankfulness, even in the tough times, increases your happiness by 25%! #givethanks Click To Tweet

It makes sense. Whatever you wire your brain to focus on is going to directly impact how you feel. Emmons says. “When you express a feeling, you amplify it. When you express anger, you get angrier; when you express gratitude, you become more grateful.”

The Kindness Experiment

Practicing Gratitude

So how do you go about “practicing gratitude”? It could be as simple as making a point every day to stop and find at least one thing to be thankful for. And don’t convince yourself there isn’t even one thing to be thankful for because there always is. If you are choosing to not find even one thing, then you are essentially choosing unhappiness. That is your choice. But if you want to try to find happiness look around you.

Perhaps the thing you are thankful for is as simple as…

  • My favorite comfy sweats
  • That person who held the door for me when I was shopping
  • The warm shining sun
  • Singing with the radio
  • TheHopeLine

Here were some things I found to be thankful for in the midst of my heart ache for my son.

give thanks

  • He receives great care and is loved by many
  • We can still share a laugh together
  • He often gives me a big thumbs up
  • I am still able to host my radio show which I love
  • And my list could go on…
Make a point every day to stop and find at least one thing to be thankful for. #givethanks Click To Tweet

These are a start. A start to training your brain to look for something good. I know it doesn’t make the bad go away, but your attitude will start to shift.

You can also practice gratitude by keeping a journal and documenting things to be thankful for. This is a great tool to go back and read when you are feeling down.

Further Research: Helping Others Increases Morale

The study also found that grateful people stop focusing so much on their pain and problems, and rather start to see how they can help others in distress. It is a great morale booster to take your eyes off your own problems and focus on helping others.

Great Morale Booster: Take your eyes off your own problems and focus on helping others. #helpinghand Click To Tweet

If you need some help to get started with how to give back, we’ve come up with a list of our Top 10 Ways to give back. Click here to view the list.

There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). God knew that life on earth wasn’t going to always be easy once sin came into the world, but he also knew long ago, what researchers have just recently proven…that if we continually give thanks through it all, we will make it through the tough times and find happiness.

What can it hurt? Give it a try. Give thanks!
Understanding Hope eBook

It Felt So Right

Choose Love

Have you ever wondered, “Is my boyfriend right for me?” Have you stayed in a relationship too long with the wrong person? Are you trying to force a relationship to work when you know it is a lost cause? Then you will relate to this story originally posted on Issues I Face and the lessons learned along the way.

How it Began

He sat alone on the other side of the room. The new guy in my senior class. Mysterious but definitely worth another glance. Our eyes made contact and the emotions I immediately felt astonished me. I blinked and looked away. He did, too. I know because I glanced at him again. And he caught me doing it. So I gathered the girls sitting next to me and told them we ought to be nice and go say hi. Safety in numbers.

He began to hang out with my crowd and was accepted. But soon, it would be just the two of us walking along or in conversation in the corner of the room. We became more physical in expressing our feelings. I felt truly pretty for the first time in my life. Sunshine covered my world.

At first he treated me really well. All my friends commented on how amazing we were together. He was really into me and wanted to do the things I liked. He bought me small gifts and his well-timed kisses melted my heart. Sure, he talked me into doing things I normally wouldn’t do, but I wanted to please him. Being with him made me feel great. Everyone knew we were an item. We were rarely not with the other, as if glued at the hip.

I Need Space

Then things changed. At first I didn’t really notice. Or I should say I chose to ignore the signs. The times he showed up an hour late and then spent the rest of the evening apologizing. The red rims under his eyelids he said were because work and school were getting to him. The times he seemed to be elsewhere and I’d have to draw his attention back to me. Then came the dreaded request — “I need space.”

I gave it to him. I figured it was temporary. We all go through stress, and though I wanted to be there for him, he said he wanted to be alone. I tried to not let that get to me. It did. Midnights would find me hugging my pillow in tears, not knowing how to talk with him about this change in his feelings for me.

He wasn’t around as much. I watched as he slipped out of my life, gradually at first. Then like a skateboard picking up momentum on the downhill, he zipped away, leaving me devastated. Confused. Rejected. In anguish. What had I done?

Ignoring Warning Signs

Friends began to tell me they had seen him with another girl. I know they meant well in telling me, but I really didn’t want to know. Two months later he appeared outside of one of my favorite hangouts and asked if we could talk. I almost didn’t recognize him. His skin was greyish and his eyes hollow. He told me we got too close and it scared him, but he realized being without me was worse. I took him back, and things were the way they had been when we first met. For a while. Then the old pattern began to surface. This time, I was the one who walked. A famous statesman once said, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

Related Posts:

8 Signs Your Dating Relationship Is Unhealthy

Three months later he appeared at my door. He finally confessed that he was into drugs and all along I had been the other girl. He thought because I was wholesome and good I could save him. But her pull and the drugs were too strong. Now she was pregnant. Even though he didn’t love her, they were going to try to make a go of it and enter rehab together, for the sake of the baby. Part of me admired him for his honesty and courage, but most of me wanted to claw out his eyes.

The wrong guy taught me a lot of the right things.

Emotions cannot be the foundation for a relationship. Neither can sex. You have to take it slow and learn about each other before you make any commitment to become exclusive. See how they interact with their family and yours. And ask your true and close friends for their honest instincts about him.

Don’t hide your true self thinking the person you want to attract would be turned off by it, and try not to always do things or say things just to please the other one. That is being fake. If they don’t like you for who you are, it won’t work. If they can’t see around your hangups and quirks, then they don’t truly care.

You can’t change anyone. They can’t change you.

You can’t try to be a different person than who you are just because your heart is drawn to someone. If there is something you want to change about yourself, you have to do it for you. It’s unfair to put that pressure on someone else. Besides, it rarely turns out the way you expect.

If you don’t feel good about yourself, you need to deal with it — not depend on someone to make you feel better. It’s not fair to him or you, and most likely he is not going to like you for the real you when it surfaces, and it will. He may just see you as an easy target or a game to boost his ego. The result? Someone, probably both of you, will end up hurt.

If you are in the grip of heartbreak from a breakup, we understand how devastating and embarrassing it can be. We get the anger, the aching loneliness, and the doubt. Maybe you’re worried that the guy you’re with now is wrong for you.

Dawson McAllister gives great advice in this podcast. Take a listen:

Is Your Toxic Relationship Sucking the Life out of You? EP 21

Struggling with a Broken Heart? Download this free eBook today.

This Guest Post was used with permission. Originally published by issuesiface.com.

 

Rachel Questions if She’s in Love: EP 5

How to Know if You’re in Love.

In This Episode:

You don’t fall in love, you fall in ditches. Having a loving relationship is not something that just happens. Romantic love is a deep emotional need and an act of the will, based on a clear understanding of the other person. It takes a lot of time and hard work on the part of both people involved. No one can tell you if you are in love. But, I can tell you what a loving relationship looks like, and what some of the ingredients are which make up a loving and meaningful relationship.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

It’s very important to know whether you have a healthy, loving relationship or not. If you realize you don’t have some of the ingredients which make up a loving relationship or are not sure if you do, then you need to reevaluate. If you do having a loving relationship filled with respect and kindness then you can think about moving forward in your relationship.

Resources for Overcoming a Broken Heart:

Would you consider doing something for me?

If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

The next episode is about what to do when you hate yourself.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
Dawson

8 Signs Your Dating Relationship Is Unhealthy

by Dawson McAllister

Dating Violence – 8 things that are NOT okay in Dating Relationships

Did you know that violence in teen dating affects 1 in 3 adolescents in the U.S.? This is NOT okay. It’s important to be aware of these 8 signs of an unhealthy relationship?

dating violence dating relationship is unhealthyI ask myself – how can this be that one in three teens is being violated physically, sexually or emotionally in a dating relationship? I think there are a number of reasons why.  Often the abuser in the relationship starts off being very smooth and charming and the other person is taken in by this.  I describe this behavior in my call with Nicole. Take a listen:

Related Posts:
How To Find A Meaningful Relationship
4 Ways To Avoid Heartbreak

Other times the abused partner suffers from low self-esteem and convinces themselves that they are in love.

However, I wonder if most of the time teens and young adults simply don’t know how to recognize abuse, and are willing to accept behaviors frdating regretsom their boyfriend/girlfriend that are NOT acceptable simply because they don’t know things can be different. Perhaps you have been there. It’s your first dating relationship…you’ve never really been “in love” before so you think your bf/gf’s behavior is normal or you’re willing to make excuses for them because you like being “in love” or you think you can change them. I understand how this can happen, so I want to help you recognize abuse before it’s too late. The truth of the matter is that people with abusive tendencies don’t change too quickly and you deserve SO much better and better is available.

I have talked to many teens who regret things they’ve done in relationships simply because they didn’t know any better.

Here are 8 behaviors that are NOT acceptable in a relationship.

Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love. #loveisrespect Click To Tweet
  • Isolating you from friends and family by controlling whom you are “allowed” to talk to and convincing you that your family and friends aren’t good for you.
  • Controlling you…telling you where you can go, whom you can see, and how you can spend your money, etc.
  • Overly jealous. Spying on you or checking in on you too much. Reading your texts or stalking your social media. Accusing you of cheating or flirting with others when you are not doing anything wrong. Listen to this call from Jared whose girlfriend helped him realize his overly jealous actions were abusive.
  • Blaming you for their abusive actions…making you feel like it is your fault they say mean things or are physically rough with you.
  • Physically rough. While you may know that hitting is not appropriate, neither is pushing, grabbing, pinching, hair pulling or any other physical touch that makes you feel uncomfortable or scared.
  • Forcing sexual activity of any sort. If you are not consenting to the sexual activity, it is abuse.

dating violence stop

For a complete relationship spectrum from healthy to unhealthy to abusive relationships check out this Relationships Spectrum from our friends at TheHotLine.org.

If you feel you might be in a dating relationship that is abusive or violent, but you just aren’t sure, feel free to leave a comment below or chat with one of our HopeCoaches on TheHopeLine®.

And remember there is always HOPE. You are not alone. You can escape abusive relationships and heal from them. There are people who will help you and God is on your side.

For more insight into the opposite sex download one of our free eBooks today.

8 Ways Of Overcoming Jealousy In Your Relationship

8 Ways Of Overcoming Jealousy and Regaining Confidence In Your Relationship

Written By: Sonya Schwartz

Overcoming jealousy in a relationshipThe green eyed monster is an expression that depicts jealousy negatively. While there is a lot to say about being envious of another, there is even more to say about those who experience jealousy in a relationship. Over 77% of women have admitted to being jealous in their relationships, but the large measurement of this should not detract from the real issue at hand nor necessarily be viewed as negative. Jealousy is natural in a relationship, but whereas men must have that emotion triggered by an action, women seem to experience it without any real indication at all. Thankfully, there are countless ways to combat this jealousy, regain confidence within oneself, and to grow from the experience in a way that will subdue that green eyed monster forever.

Understand the Consequences: It Is Insulting

Ladies, it is understandable that this emotion cannot be controlled the majority of the time. Surely the actions that ensue from this emotion are able to be controlled, but the feeling tends to overcome all other internal feelings. However, one of the most effective ways to subdue this emotion in an attempt to abolish it, is to realize just how insulting it is for your partner. Chances are, your partner did not provide you with a reason to feel insecure nor jealous, so it is best to understand the emotional toll this is taking on them. When you feel a sense of compassion and empathy, other issues seem to vanish.

Embrace Your Originality: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

When you compare yourself to others in terms of physical looks, humor, affluence, and success, you are detracting from all of the wonderful things that you are.  Being original is the greatest thing that you can be and though you might not believe this, there are people who desire to be just like you as well.

When you #compare yourself to others, you're detracting from the wonderful things that you are. Click To Tweet

Fear Is Okay– You Will Survive

Being afraid to lose the person you are with is inevitable. However and though it may not be what you desire to do, creating an understanding that every action has a reason and that every outcome has a happy ending will allow you to simply live for the day rather than a future you are apprehensive about. Additionally, this jealousy might prematurely end the relationship, so it is best to be mindful of that.

Distinguish Between Fiction and Reality

The human mind is very convincing and endlessly tricky. Often times, you are able to believe the things that you are the most fearful of. Essentially, if you imagine that your partner is unfaithful, your brain’s natural reaction is to make sense of the overproduction of the fear and stress hormones, cortisol and adrenaline, by creating scenarios in your mind that are untrue. Understand that what you imagine is not reality and remain aware of that fact each day.

Love Yourself by Understanding What You Offer

Once you realize the positive attributes about yourself, an understanding will be created that you are special and worthy enough for anyone, let alone your partner. Compile a list of what you enjoy about yourself and even enlist the help of your family or friends. Doing this will allow you to realize your worth and you will be surprised about how many qualities there are to appreciate about you.

Assess the Relationship: Why Did It Start?

Much like determining the positive characteristics of yourself, you should repeat the same process with your relationship. Answer the questions:

  • Why did the relationship start?
  • What makes it so special?
  • Why did you and your partner chose one another over anyone else?

Answering these questions will strengthen both of you as a couple while concurrently abolishing your jealousy that has stemmed from uncertainty.

Talk About It to Determine the Cause of Jealousy

Hiding your jealousy will only weaken the relationship and put you in a dangerous spiral of self-dislike, sadness, and continual envy. The best route to take is to share your feelings with your partner. From there, assess where your jealousy could be coming from:

  • Does your partner have a lot of female friends?
  • Did they once give you a reason to feel protective?
  • Are you battling low self-esteem?

All of these questions should be answered together and solutions should be proposed that will abate this problem.

Hiding your #jealousy will only weaken the relationship. Talk about it to determine the cause. Click To Tweet

Shift Your Focus to Something More Positive

Despite your efforts, jealousy sometimes continues to linger in your mind. This natural reaction is nothing to be ashamed of, but shifting your focus is of the utmost importance for when you feel as if you are in a losing battle. Consider taking up a hobby or really concentrating on being happy with your partner. Do more activities together, talk more together, and just share an honest policy in all that you do. Changing your environment is often the best way to form these life-changing habits.

If jealousy continues to linger, don't be ashamed, instead shift your focus. #shiftyourfocus Click To Tweet

Resizedphoto-1464081277020-421d61b8607bBeyond a shadow of a doubt, relationships are difficult. Women are creatures of habit, but few understand that negative habits result in irregular brain patterns that will only further contribute to an unfavorable lifestyle. Being mindful of yourself is always of the utmost importance while being open with your partner is crucial in abolishing certain mindsets entirely. Welcoming your individuality and what you have to offer is the most advantageous action, and altering your concentration to be more positive will lift the concerns if all else fails. Jealousy is natural and often inevitable, but it does not need to be a life sentence if you make necessary changes and accept it for what it simply is. You are not a green eyed monster but are instead a woman in tune with her feelings, a factor that is more admirable than unfavorable.

 

Sonya SchwartzSonya struggled for many years in finding ‘the one’ for her and went through many difficult relationships as a result. After nearly giving up, she met Greg to whom she is now happily married. She runs a blog at HerAspiration.com in which she recalls some of the bad experiences she had while dating, and hopes that by sharing her experiences she is able to make the journey for love a little bit easier for other women out there.

Download this free eBook from TheHopeLine® to learn more about healthy principles of dating.

How To Respect Yourself More

by Dawson McAllister

respect yourself more

Do You Find It Hard To Respect Yourself? Why?

We all crave respect, no matter who we are. Yet it is very difficult to respect others when you don’t even respect yourself.

It’s been said, “You can’t like another person, until you like yourself.”

So let’s look at this…How can you show yourself the same kind of respect you want to show others and want them to show you?

When you don’t like or love yourself, much less respect yourself, you will always find a way to live your life blaming other people for all the pain you’re feeling, resulting in your life being consumed by anger, frustration and depression.

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5 Amazing Reasons Why You Matter
‘Identity’: A Chat with Christian Recording Artist Colton Dixon

Katie commented with a very clear definition of self-respect, calling it “a pride in self.” “To have self-respect is to take yourself for who you are to wake up and forgive yourself for mistakes you have made. If you focus on the bad actions that you’ve done, you cave yourself into darkness and can’t see the good in life, which is what a lot of teenagers do. When you are down, try to remember the good that you’ve done and not the bad, because focusing on negative thoughts leads you to nothingness in the end. It’s hard to overcome some self-respect issues, but when you’re able to look in the mirror and smile and tell yourself you’re a beautiful person, it is an amazing feeling.” Katie is right, a healthy self-respect is based in viewing yourself in a positive light.

Self-Respect includes forgiving yourself for past mistakes. Click To Tweet

Below are 8 ways to help you build a healthy respect for yourself:

  1. Don’t let other people’s thoughts about you shape who you are. There are many people who allow themselves to be forever shaped by what others have said or done to them. How sad. These people easily become approval addicts. They look to others for their self-esteem. It’s like they are saying, “Please love me, so I can love myself. Please accept me, so I can accept myself.” These people will always feel a shortage of self-respect, because they never allow themselves to break free from the grip of others.
  2. Don’t speak badly about yourself. Don’t let your mistakes or weaknesses define who you are. Don’t say, “I’m a loser, no one loves me, I hate myself.” You will soon believe what you say. On the other hand, if you say to yourself, “I am a person worth loving and respecting,” you will start to believe it about yourself. Remind yourself of your strengths and the qualities you have to offer others. Ericka has some insight into how she has learned to respect herself. “I made friends with people like me, got rid of friends that put me down, and before I knew it, I was happier than ever before. No one can truly understand the way you think, the way you do things and act. Being different is a blessing, not a curse. So, respecting yourself is to love who you are and love your personality.”
  3. Don’t let anybody force you to be or do anything you don’t want to do or be, simply to gain their approval or friendship. There is an old saying that says, “To yourself, always be true.” This isn’t a me-first kind of thinking that reeks of arrogance. It means not letting other people tell you what to do or think. Cynthia agrees with Ericka that to respect yourself, you have to know who you are. “You need to know your strengths, weaknesses, and your emotions really well. You need to get more familiar with yourself and not become something that others want you to be, because that does not in any way show that you respect yourself cause you’d be willing to change just to please [others].” I agree with this, unless we’re talking about God or your parents encouraging you to be the person they see you have the potential of becoming.
  4. Don’t violate your own moral codes. There will always be people who treat themselves with poor self-respect, because they have done disrespectful things or violated their own moral code and hate themselves for it. There is a saying among some psychologists which states, “If you think better, you will act better. And if you act better, you will feel better.” I couldn’t agree more. The opposite is also true. If you think poorly, you will act poorly. And if you act poorly, you will feel poorly. Your self-respect will be extremely low and unhappiness will be your constant companion.
  5. Control your emotions. A part of respecting yourself is learning how to handle your emotions without causing more problems for your self. When we let our rage and hurt out in a damaging way, it only causes us to embarrass ourselves, destroy relationships, and leads to low self-respect.
    respect yourself more
  6. Increase your knowledge. Develop interests and passions. Find a hobby. Learn as much as you can. Learning about things going on in the world around you will expand your brainpower and understanding, and will let you speak intelligently to a wide variety of people you meet. As you explore all the different opportunities this world has to offer, you will learn more about what you personally have to offer back to the people around you. There are so many people who live in such a small world, they feel others would never value their opinions and what they know. They see themselves as stupid or dumb. The way you see yourself is the way you’ll act. It happens every time.
  7. Seek a relationship with God. To know that God loves and respects you is the very foundation of self-respect. After all, God knows all about us and still loves us. Shelby has learned that to respect herself she has to try and see herself as God sees her.

    He created all of us special. Have you ever made something, like drawn a picture, and it was just amazing? And you were so proud of it, even though you didn’t think you had it in you to make that? Now take that and imagine how God must feel about creating us! Since I’ve looked at myself that way I’ve seen a whole different me in the mirror everyday. Even without my makeup! -Katie

  8. Be responsible. Do the things you need to do. Janice commented with a list of practical ways to show self-respect: Take care of yourself. Brush your teeth, comb your hair, dress nicely (not to bring attention, either over-fashionably or sloppily), don’t overeat (or undereat!), eat what is good for you, and drink water. More importantly, to take care of yourself, read your Bible and pray. Just doing what you know is the right thing to do will cause your self-respect to skyrocket–whether it’s doing your homework, chores around the house, or showing up to work on time.

 

Here are a few more quick ideas about self-respect:

  1. Respect others. (see my other blogs on respect here)
  2. Be quick to forgive others. (see my blogs on forgiveness here)
  3. Be friendly to everyone you meet. Friendly people are never miserable people.
  4. Hang around encouraging people who are doing positive things.
  5. Don’t lie. When you continually tell the truth, you give yourself the priceless gift of a clear conscience.
  6. Make good decisions.

Lisa wrapped up what I’ve been trying to say in one just powerful comment. “I never thought that I needed to learn to respect myself but I realize that almost everyone is lacking in this area, no matter if you have thousands of friends or just one. In the end, everyone is looking to be accepted.”





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How To Show Respect To A Girl

by Dawson McAllister

respectSo many people I talk to on my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, are struggling with some kind of relationship issue….most often a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Just about everyone seems so hungry for insight and wisdom into how to make a relationship with their bf/gf work better. One of the best ways to make a stronger, more long-lasting relationship is by learning how to treat each other with respect.

I have come to the conclusion that everyone longs to be respected. What is respect? Respect is showing someone extra special attention, or high regard, based on a desire to show them how highly they are valued.

The desire to be respected by someone of the opposite sex is something that runs deep within everyone, even though most people don’t take the time to find someone who truly respects them. It seems like people are just looking for someone to show them the slightest amount of attention, settling for something much less than respect. I am convinced one of the best ways to help any relationship grow is by showing respect.

Related Posts:
How To Find A Meaningful Relationship
4 Ways To Avoid Heartbreak
8 Signs Your Relationship Is Unhealthy

How does this play out in real life? For example, how does a guy show respect to a girl? How does he show her she is valuable to him? I’ve come up with a list of ten things… So here goes:

How Does A Guy Show Respect To A Girl?

  1. He talks with her in a courteous way. Put another way, he doesn’t talk trash to her. He doesn’t swear, tell dirty jokes, or use filthy words around her. Making jokes about her body, is never appropriate or talking behind her back. He never texts her with cruel or biting comments, and he is there to defend her if somebody does.Kaitlyn wrote:Guys should respect the girl by always encouraging her and NEVER ever putting her down in any way! Jose said the way he shows respect to girls is by talking to them in a positive, affirming way. I do not strip them of their dignity, like many guys do. Many guys my age feel it’s okay to make remarks about their bodies in a sexual way, and they have to know that it’s not okay. It’s wrong. Girls deserve all the respect they can get, and more, but our society isn’t doing that.
  2. He will never try to take advantage of her sexually. This is a big one. Sarah agrees: My wonderful boyfriend shows respect to me by not pressuring me to do things I don’t want to do. Brittany uses the word “no” to find out if a guy respects her. I know they respect me when I say no and they lay off me and aren’t grabbing at me all the time. Kaitlyn said a girl should be seen as a treasure, not a magnet for the guys to be attached to. If the guy wants you only for a sexual relationship then he has no respect for you. He is only thinking about himself and how that one night or so will benefit him and his social status.
  3. He gives her time and attention. All women love the gift of time and attention. It’s a gift that can’t be bought. It’s also a gift she can clearly see and experience. A guy gives her this gift by talking with her and asking questions about her life. He refuses to brag about his own accomplishments to try and impress her.Amy expressed how when a guy truly respects her, she can feel it. He shows it by his actions, by his words, by the way he looks into your eyes. When a guy respects you he listens to your feelings, and even if he doesn’t agree with them, he lets you express them to him. When a guy respects you he knows that small things matter to a woman, something as [simple] as giving you his jacket when you’re cold or holding open a door.
  4. He knows when to joke and when to be serious. Dobrinka said there are a lot of guys, when hanging out with their girlfriend, who act as if they are with their guy friends. Girls are more sensitive in certain situations, and guys don’t always know when to be serious and when they can be playful and joke about stuff. If a guy truly understands you and your feelings then he should know when is the right time to be serious about a situation and when is the right time to play around.
  5. He doesn’t flirt with other girls. When a guy is dating a girl and he flirts with other girls, he shows her he’s not committed to her, and that she is no more special to him than all the other girls. Erin had a bad experience with a guy who did this. The guy I just broke up with, I broke up with because he flirted with other girls right in front of me…not respectful at all!
  6. He points out her strengths. Let her know how amazing she is and how impressed you are by her talents and gifts. Everyone needs to be encouraged.
  7. He shows respect for her family and her other friends. Let’s face it. A person’s family has a huge impact on the person you are dating. To disrespect that family is to disregard one of the most vital parts of their life. Celeste said this is really important to her. If you respect her, you should also show respect to her parents, siblings etc. Even if you don’t get along with them.
  8. He helps her to feel welcome and comfortable in a group of other people, especially in a group of other guys. No girl wants to look stupid or feel uncomfortable in front of other people, especially guys. Many guys have made the horrible mistake of ignoring or belittling his girlfriend in front of his buddies. This is relational sabotage.
  9. He is trustworthy. Keep your word and do what you say. LyAnn has some advice for guys: Ladies take what you say to heart. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
  10. He trusts her. You can show tremendous respect to your girlfriend by showing her you trust her. Celeste said a big way to show respect is to give her the space she wants and needs. If she says she’s going out with her friends, then she’s going out with her friends. Let her go have fun without calling her every five minutes to see what she’s doing…she’ll call you when she gets home. She doesn’t need to check in with you..you’re not her dad.

Show me a guy who treats women with respect, I will show you a guy who receives respect in return.

I’ll leave you with a great comment I received from Jonathan who said the best way a guy can show respect to a girl is by recognizing that she is a precious creature carefully crafted by God:

Once this realization sets in most everything else will follow. Holding the door, listening, being sensitive to their needs and sensitivities, treating them like people and not sex objects, opening the car door, walking them home, listening and talking to their face and not their chest, defending them verbally and, should the need arise, physically…I could go on. Everything in this world is a gift from God, and women are the most beautiful, precious gift of all. That fact alone charges us to give them all the respect we can.

I’ve also written a blog about how a girl can show respect to a guy. Showing respect is a two-way street. If you are in a relationship, these two blogs could serve as a great discussion starter.

For more insight into the opposite sex download one of our free eBooks today.

SEX – How Far Is Too Far?

by Dawson McAllister

Principles for Setting Sexual Boundaries

Jody asked: Sex how far is too far in a dating relationship? My conscience has been bothering me.With that being said, I’d encourage you to not take dating (or even taking girls on special event dates like the prom) so seriously that it prevents you from having a good time and getting to know people from the opposite sex. There is a lot of fun to be had by just social dating…meaning, you’re not dating strictly one person, but just having good social times with different girls. It’s important to be clear about what you’re doing when yo u’re socially dating, and not trying to convince each girl she is the only one! Spending one on one time with someone of the opposite sex will be very helpful for you to learn what kind of woman you’d eventually like to marry, and will help you learn better how to treat the women in your life. Each date you go on could be a valuable experience for you, and for the other person, if you allow it to be. But keep in mind you have to guard your heart.

DAWSON: Your conscience is a really good indicator to let you know when you are, or someone else is, crossing your own personal boundaries and deep value system. You can have a healthy dating life that is not being trashed by violated standards. It does, however, require you to set and follow clear standards for how far you will go on a date. Here are a few principles you may want to apply to your own dating relationships:

You can have a healthy dating life that is not being trashed by violated standards.
  1. The Selfish Touch Principle  this refers to touching someone in a way that arouses both their sexual and their deep emotional desires. If a guy (or it could just as easily be a girl toward a guy) touches a woman in a way that arouses her passion, he has acted selfishly and has gone too far.
  2. The Sex Controls the Date Principle  Our lives should not be controlled or mastered…by anything. If the physical or sexual part of your relationship is controlling or dominating your time together, then you’ve gone too far. The question to ask yourself is this: If you took all physical activity out of your relationship would there be enough left of that relationship to continue?
  3. The Sex Controls My Thoughts Principle  Our minds should not be constantly dwelling on passion and sex. If what you do on a date causes you or your partner to constantly fantasize about sex, you have gone too far.
  4. The Does It Cause Me to Mislead Principle  Any kind of sexual activity can lead your dating partner to believe you are more committed to him/her than you really are. If your sexual activity on a date has misled your partner concerning your true feelings and commitment, you have gone too far.
  5. The Ten Year Later Principle  Anything you do today will have an effect for years to come. Will you be able to look your partner in the eye, or perhaps your current partner’s future spouse, ten years from now and be proud about how you treated him/her today? Your goal should be to leave the person you’re dating today with great memories that build them up, not tear them down.

Your goal should be to leave the person you’re dating today with great memories that build them up, not tear them down.

 

 

 

Is it O.K. to date “Just for Fun” and not think about the future?

Michael asked: What is the thinking of those who are either dating or just going to the prom? It is my way of thinking if someone is dating, they should be considering getting married sometime in their future, and the same for the prom. Is it just a cool social thing to do, or a really serious time of considering your future?

DAWSON: Michael, you’re blowing my mind. You obviously are a serious thinker who has come to some radical, but amazing conclusions. Most guys don’t put that much thought or consideration into what they are doing when they take out a girl. Yes, dating can be a very serious matter. It can be serious stuff because when two people start sharing their lives together in an intimate way, feelings and emotions get intensified, making it easier for people to get hurt. But, dating can also be a very meaningful and fun and a great way to learn about yourself.

The biggest danger I see in dating is most people do not guard their heart. By heart I mean, the very core of their emotions…the place where they really live. They’re not careful of who they date, or what they do, as long as they feel like they are in love, or someone cares about them. People who don’t guard their hearts are easily used by manipulators and their own emotions that spin out of control. Most people who don’t guard their heart end up in fast, emotional, destructive relationships. I have talked to so many people whose lives have been scarred, or permanently altered because of irresponsible dating. Dating is not a game, it is an activity where people can grow in personal relationships, or get themselves really hurt. I can’t say it enough, Michael, everyone needs to guard their heart so we don’t have any more emotional victims all around us.

The biggest danger I see in dating is most people do not guard their heart. #guardyourheart Click To Tweet

 

Letting Friends Control Your Relationship

by Dawson McAllister

Sometimes friends are able to see if you’re doing something stupid, such as getting rid of what they think is a really good girlfriend.

Should Friends Control Your Relationships?

I’m excited about the many questions you continue to ask me about the opposite sex. As you learn more and more about what makes a healthy relationship, and positive ways to address conflict, life will be so much more about love and understanding, rather than about hurt, confusion and drama. That’s my goal with these blogs. Here’s another amazing question.

John asked: I’m going out with a girl right now, but I like another girl. My girlfriend suspects me, and everyone says that a lot of people will get mad with me if I break up with her. What do I do?

DAWSON: This is partly a question about how to break-up with your girlfriend. But it also sounds like you are trying to deal with your true emotions in an honest way, and not let other people tell you what to do. Sometimes friends are able to see if you’re doing something stupidlike getting rid of what they think is a really good girlfriend. Other times, they have their own selfish reasons for you to stay in a certain relationship. It’s good to listen to, and weigh the advice other people tell you. Find out why they want you to stay together with your girlfriend. They might have really good reasons, or they might not.

You might feel like you’re trapped in your current relationship, and you’re wondering if there’s anything there worth holding onto. You should communicate with your current girlfriend about what you’re feeling, instead of ignoring her, while you fantasize about this new girl. Honesty is always the best policy.

Related Posts:
How To Find A Meaningful Relationship
How To Know It’s Really Love
4 Ways To Avoid Heartbreak
8 Signs Your Relationship Is Unhealthy

I have to say, though, that just because you found a better girl who you are starting to like, doesn’t automatically mean it’s okay to dump your current girlfriend. A huge part of being in a dating relationship is commitment. You need to be careful what kind of reputation you could develop if you start going from one girl to the next. You’ll soon find most girls won’t bother to trust you with much of anything. Communicate with your current girlfriend, talk to friends you can trust, and strive to be the most committed, trustworthy boyfriend you can possibly be. After you’ve made your decision, hold your head high. Only you can answer for you.

QUESTION #40) Elizabeth asked: When we first got together, my boyfriend told me he would never make comments about how attractive other women are, as he felt that was disrespectful. However, over the past year he constantly makes remarks such as, I’d do her’ or She’s hot.’ Why does he do it? And what can I do to get him to stop?

If he doesn’t seem interested in changing, he’s really saying his relationship with you isn’t all that important to him.

DAWSON: Your boyfriend was right about how disrespectful it is to make comments about other women, especially around you. It’s one thing to innocently comment about how attractive another person is, but it’s completely inappropriate to say things he’d like to do sexually with another person. It’s the height of disrespect. Your boyfriend is immature, at best. And a would-be player, at worst. Imagine if you were enjoying a great dinner with your boyfriend and you couldn’t help but stare at another person eating at another table, and then you said, I sure wish I was eating dinner at that table, instead of with you!That’s basically what he’s saying to you.

This should be a trust and respect issue with you. Has he given you any other signs he is not trustworthy? If nothing else, your boyfriend needs to learn how to respect you better.

Be very clear with him about how serious of an issue this is. Give him a chance to work on it. If he shows he’s sorry and wanting to work on his problem, then you should be patient with him. If he doesn’t seem interested in changing, he’s really saying his relationship with you isn’t all that important to him, and it’s probably time for you to move on.

Please send me the question you have about the opposite sex in the comment section below. You’ll find a lot of great questions and answers on the main blog page, so check that out, as well. I look forward to hearing from you.

Download this free eBook from TheHopeLine® to learn more about healthy principles of dating.

Keeping Your Personal Boundaries

by Dawson McAllister

If he says he loves you, but is not willing to respect your boundaries and deep held moral beliefs, I would say he doesn’t really love you.

As I’ve been answering your questions about the opposite sex, one of my desires has been to help us understand the concept of personal boundaries. What does that mean? When most people enter into a relationship they lose sight of themselves emotionally, they don’t know where they end and the other person begins. And then, without even thinking, they become willing to do whatever the other person wants, regardless of the consequences, simply to keep the other person close to them. This is the situation Madison is in, as shown with this question.

keep boundariesQUESTION #33) Madison asked: I made a promise to God, my mom and my family that I wouldn’t do anything with a guy until I get married. My boyfriend keeps trying to get me to do stuff with him, such as kiss him or have sex. And then he thinks the reason I don’t want to do things with him is because I don’t like him, which is so far from the truth. How do I tell him the real reason I don’t want to do anything with him, without having him leave me?

Without the sexual part of your relationship, you are better able to get to know someone.

DAWSON: It sounds like this would be a great opportunity to be very honest with yourself and your boyfriend. That will give him the opportunity to know more about the level of commitment you have to yourself, and to your relationship with God. This will give him the chance to decide whether he will honor your wishes or not. If he says he loves you, but is not willing to respect your boundaries and deep held moral beliefs, I would say he doesn’t really love you, and you need to find someone who will–someone who will respect your boundaries. When you tell him why you believe what you do, you will give him a chance to see how beneficial committing to those boundaries could be to your relationship.

Being physical with a bf/gf has the potential to cloud a relationship, turning it into a monster that seems to only be driven by sexual desire, or what you can get from the other person. Without the sexual part of your relationship, you’re better able to get to know someone, and to clearly know whether you’d want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Living this way, you will end up marrying someone you truly know and respects you. Nothing could be more important. I applaud you, Madison, for desiring to live so radically, and so differently compared to how most of the rest of the world lives. Stick by your beliefs and create those boundaries.

ego manQUESTION #34) David asked: I see girls everyday I wish I could go out with, but people tell me I don’t have a chance with them. So I don’t know if I should be miserable and not date or overcome my fear and ask out a girl people tell me I don’t have a chance with?

Learn about what girls find attractive about guys.

DAWSON: Thanks for the honesty in your question, David. I have to wonder who these people are that are telling you to not ask out certain girls. Why should you let someone else’s opinion tell you what these girls are thinking? I want to encourage you to be bold and courageous. But let me give you a couple things to think about first. Learn about what girls find attractive about guys. They love a guy who is confident, courageous, funny, interested in them (but not too interested!), strong, and smart. Women desire a man who will sweep them off their feet and treat them special. You are capable of being and doing all these things.

You should never choose to be miserable. Don’t let other people tell you what to do.

Start by taking interest in a girl who you have some things in common with. Approaching her from out of the blue might be a bit too confusing for her and drive her away. Find some common ground and begin a conversation. Be a good listener. Make her the focus of your conversation. Don’t worry about going outwith her until you actually get to know her some, and discover if she likes spending time with you. Most guys make the mistake of moving too quickly with a girl. Slow down. She isn’t going anywhere.

You should never choose to be miserable. Don’t let other people tell you what to do. They may think you’re shooting for the moon, by asking out certain girls, but you can prove to them that it’s never wrong to dream big.

Thanks for sending in your great questions. Please keep writing to me with the questions you have about the opposite sex. We’re going all the way to 50 questions, so we still have room for yours! I look forward to hearing from you!

How To Respect A Guy

by Dawson McAllister

respectI’ve talked about how a guy can and should show respect to a girl. We had a tremendous response. It shows me girls are hungry to be respected and loved. Now it’s time to talk to girls about how to respect a guy.

If you are a guy, I know you want to be respected as well. I know that to be a fact, and it’s not just because I am a guy. But I’ve talked to hundreds of guys on my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, who deeply desire for their girlfriend to show them admiration and high regard. Ladies, here are a few things you should know if you want to make sure the men you know are deeply aware how much you love and respect them.

So How Does A Girl Show A Guy Respect?

Here’s our straight forward list:

To respect a guy, don’t play with his sexuality and drives

To respect a guy, don’t play with his sexuality and drives. Cause him to love and see you as a person, and not just as an object.
She doesn’t use her body to manipulate him. If you only take one thing from this blog, get this one. Girls, you have an incredible power to control guys with your appearance, simply because guys are driven so intensely by what they see when they look at a girl and the beauty of her body. To respect a guy, don’t play with his sexuality and drives. Cause him to love and see you as a person, and not just as an object. When you flirt with him you can easily appeal to his lust, rather than who he is as a person. Dressing modestly and refusing to be flirtatious, also shows your boyfriend you aren’t trying to attract other guys.

Related Posts:
How To Find A Meaningful Relationship
4 Ways To Avoid Heartbreak
Sex And Father Hunger
8 Signs Your Relationship Is Unhealthy

She Asks his Opinion

Every person wants to be respected. Guys in particular crave to be looked at as a leader–someone whose ideas are important. Guys want to know you are interested in what they think. He feels respected when you care about how he thinks and feels. Then when you take the time to listen, it’s even more powerful. He will feel deeply valued by you. Someone commented to me this week: If a girl asks a guy’s opinion, if he answers honestly (and preferably tactfully) with an answer she didn’t want, she needs to realize that he respected her enough not to lie to her, and she needs to respect his opinion, even if she doesn’t agree with it, and not get angry with him because of it.

Don’t try to put words in his mouth

If you try to put words into a guy’s mouth, you’ll only show him you think he doesn’t know what to say.

She is patient with him when he has a difficult time expressing himself.Many guys have a hard time communicating, especially their thoughts and emotions.

There are going to be many times he wants you to know what he’s feeling, but he is just going to need a little more time actually getting it out. Don’t try to put words in his mouth, you’ll only show him you think he doesn’t know what to say. You can however, repeat back to him what you heard him say, so you both are on the same page.

She encourages and supports him.

Guys easily feel belittled by girls. When you cheer on your man, you are breathing life into his soul. Telling him you believe in him and support what he is attempting to achieve is a very powerful way to show your guy you respect him. When he feels that support from you, the confidence you are pouring into him will help him to feel invincible. Someone once said, Behind every great man, is a great woman.Some girls are so stuck on their own needs they can’t seem to give encouragement and inspiration to the guys they know. So give a guy a gift he will never forget: the gift of encouragement.

When you cheer on your man, you are breathing life into his soul.

She doesn’t exhaust him with all the little details. It’s easy to want to make sure your boyfriend gets all the details of your life. He is interested in you, but he gets worn out easily if you bog down your stories with all kinds of extra details. Try to make it easier for him to process all the information you want him to know.

Cheer on your man to breath life into his soul. Click To Tweet

She knows she doesn’t own him.

She doesn’t demand he be there for her 24 hours a day. Just because the two of you may be dating, doesn’t put you in charge of his life.
When you let him have his own life, making his own decisions, spending time with his friends, it shows you respect him, and will make you more attractive to him.

Lindsey commented she knew her boyfriend’s time was limited with his working full-time and going to school full-time. I never tried to demand lots of time from him. Instead I would make him a meal and meet him between classes or on his lunch break at work. He really appreciated it, and I felt like I was respecting his schedule while still fitting in time to see him.

Showing respect to your boyfriend is the very best way you can show him that you love him.

She must respect herself.

There are many girls who are extremely insecure and are convinced they are not worth being loved or respected by others. So they end up sabotaging their relationships with guys because of their low self-esteem. They tend to be constantly asking their guy if they are still being loved by him. It’s very difficult for a guy to respect a girl who doesn’t respect herself, or see herself as worthy to be loved. Jonathan had some great thoughts I must include. A girl must also respect herself; if a guy desires to date her or even just be her friend, he must like something about her. By not liking herself, she is also saying that her friend’s and/or boyfriend’s opinions of her don’t mean anything to her. If she returns compliments with contradictory remarks, she is not respecting the guy’s opinion, or his attempt to respect her.

Girls, it’s valuable to realize how important this topic is in your relationship with guys. Showing respect to your boyfriend is the very best way you can show him that you love him. But it’s also true with all your relationships, including your relationship with yourself.  It is crucial to respect yourself and I’ve written a blog about that as well.

I’d love to receive your comments on how you’ve learned to respect the opposite sex and if it’s made a difference in your relationships. Your comments provide great insight and encouragement for others.

For more insight into the opposite sex download one of our free eBooks today.