About a year and a half ago, I would worry myself absolutely sick about my fiancé's faith. I was obsessive about praying for him and spent many long hours sobbing and pleading with God to give me a sign that everything was going to work out, only to be constantly dissatisfied with the proof I was shown. My heart would sink whenever my fiancé said something that deterred my ideals.
Deep Resentment Towards Religion
One night, I just couldn't sleep. I had been crying for about two hours, and I needed someone to talk to. So after searching online, I came across TheHopeLine.com. A very kind and patient Hope Coach named Val talked with me for over an hour, listening to my plight as I explained my situation:
My fiancé was raised by a very hateful, cultist, alcoholic atheist and had been abused, in all definitions of the word, by various church members, while the church did nothing but cover it all up. This caused a deep resentment for religion to grow in his heart. Over time spent with my family, he gradually warmed up to the faith, calling himself a Christian, and reading the Bible. There was a noticeable change in his heart and convictions.
We Are All Flawed
But that wasn't enough for me. See, I, like many others, was raised with a very cut and dry picture of what a Christian man should be…a picture that somehow forgot to include the fact that the "man" portion of "Christian man" meant that he was still allowed to have struggles and flaws. A man is allowed to be angry and confused, to experience pain and suffering. My fiancé' was allowed to be human, even while he strove to be like God.
Val instructed me with both sympathy and strong adherence to the Bible to wait, and to listen to God instead of my fears. Of course…that wasn't an easy task. So often we are surrounded by towering waves of "What Ifs" that we fail to see Jesus standing above the chaos, holding his hand out to us.
Hope Coach Guided Me Through My Anger at God
Today my fiancé is a strong believer, and there's not a doubt in my mind that he's saved. He prayed for me and guided me in a time when I was angry at God and lashing out in extreme ways, he rebuked me in love when I cursed Him. He's witnessed to his friends on multiple occasions. He has an actual relationship with the Lord that isn't beholden on me and what I think of him.
Is he a perfect man? No. But no one is. My advice to anyone who reads this is just to wait and see what God has planned for you, (If you're not in danger, of course) and never to be afraid to reach out to other believers in a time of need. We are family, we are here to help. Be still and know that He is God and He is bigger than your fears.
Are you struggling with someone in your life who has lost faith in God? Read What To Do if a Friend Loses Faith in God.