Are You Mad At God?
I’ve got to believe at some point in your life, you’ve raised your fist and shouted out in anger at God. Most of us have done it.
Maybe your parent died, or you had a friend get seriously sick, or even killed. Maybe you have cancer, or some kind of handicap. These and other serious issues enter our lives, making it easy to target God for our pain.
Someone described anger this way: Anger is a human emotional response to situations that are either out of our control or out of our ability to understand, or both.
Have you ever wondered why we get so angry at God? That’s what I want to talk about, because I can assure you that while God allows us to cry out to Him, He doesn’t want us stuck in rage towards Him.
What are some of the reasons why we get mad at God?
The main reason we get so upset with God is that we think He owes us something. This usually happens in two ways:
1) We don’t get something we want.
Have you ever really wanted a relationship with that perfect girl or guy? Or you really wanted that job you knew for certain would be perfect for you? When these things didn’t work out, you no doubt found yourself hurt and disappointed. Our first impulse is almost always to blame God.
Daphne wrote: When we get mad at God it is really like a 2-year-old throwing a fit because Mommy or Daddy won’t let them stick their finger in the light socket. The 2-year-old can only see what he/she wants, the parent sees the bigger picture, and the danger. When we are mad at God we show our immaturity, ignorance, and our shortsightedness.
2) We get something we DON’T expect.
When something bad happens to someone we love, or to us, or someone gets really sick, or even dies we wonder why these things have to happen. We think of God as a big genie in the sky who should only give us good things and prevent the bad.
I received a comment from someone who said: Some people wonder why their lives end up being a certain way, and they blame God for it, because if God really cared for them, then He wouldn’t let them suffer.
We think, “If God is so loving, why am I in so much pain? Is He punishing me for no reason by allowing horrible things to happen to me, or the people I love, or even the world?”
3) We think God owes us something.
Both of these situations can make a person feel like God doesn’t care about us. After all the prayers we’ve prayed, God still didn’t heal your brother’s cancer, or get you the job you wanted.
Joe wrote: I have to admit that I am angry at God. The more I have prayed for help and guidance, the more I get nothing. He is ignoring me. It’s His right to do with me what He will, but I am frustrated because I have done what I think I am supposed to do and yet no response, no help.
We get angry when we think God owes us something. When in fact, God owes us nothing.
A couple of other reasons:
- We get angry with God when we don’t know all the facts. It’s so easy to think we know everything, but we can only see a very small part of the picture.
- We get angry at God when we see others claim to know Him, and then act like hypocrites. It’s easy to blame God for the faults of others.
These are just a few reasons why people get angry with God. Of course, there are many more.
How to get over being mad at God – Know what you can expect from Him.
If we think God is going to be our genie in a bottle, and make everything good in our lives, we’re going to be mad at God when something bad happens. Having faith in God is not insurance against hardships.
In the Bible, Jesus says- “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
So what can we expect from God?
- His Peace – If we trust in Him and believe in Him we will have peace even in the hard times. Do you want to know how to find this peace? Begin Your Journey To Peace with this great resource from Peace With God.
- God Wins in the End – This world is full of sin, hate and death and that comes from the enemy, Satan, not from God. However, for all those who believe in Jesus, there is glorious, eternal life in heaven.
- His Comfort – He promises to be near those who are hurting. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
- His love – He promises His love for us. “God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16) He loves your heart and is with you in the midst of whatever your circumstances.
- Life with greater meaning and significance – If we got everything we thought we wanted, we’d be spoiled and selfish. God is a wise father who knows what we need to become the best men and women we can be.
What can you do when you are mad at God?
1) Tell him how you feel.
The best thing you can do is tell God what you’re angry about. He wants to hear from you about what you’re thinking and feeling. Tell God honestly where you are at. God knows what’s going on inside of you, but He wants to you be able to come to Him with honesty and openness.
2) Place the blame for evil on Satan, not on God.
God is good and Holy and perfect and loving. He is the opposite of evil. You may be mad at God because he didn’t prevent the bad from happening to you, but he is not to blame for the bad thing, Satan is. Jesus says in the Bible “The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.” (John 10:10)
3) Pray for courage, strength and peace to make it through the day.
Betsy wrote: I find it easiest to leave everything in God’s hands and pray that he will care for me and do what’s BEST for me, not what I want, but what is best. It’s very hard, and I have trouble with that at times, but that is my overall goal.
4) Trust that God will use a hardship for something beyond what you can see.
So can God use for everything we go through for a greater purpose? I believe He can. Ask God for understanding to see the bigger picture. Over time, you may see more clearly how God used your trial for good.
Jill wrote honestly: I feel like I have a daily tug of war with God. I know everything happens for a reason, but when you’re lonely, broke, bored, and feel helpless, it is really hard to say, okay God, I know you’re doing this for a reason.
Betsy echoed Jill’s thoughts: After many trials, I learned that it is best to accept what God has done and believe that it is for my good, whether I like it or not.
Believing He does have a reason for everything we go through helps us to trust that something bigger is going on here, even more than we can probably understand. But I’m not God, He is. And I’m just going to trust that He knows what’s going on with me.
5) Get involved in other people’s lives.
A lot of our anger and frustration in life comes from thinking about ourselves too much – we think about the way things are and how different they are from how we wish they’d be.
Yevgenia wrote: One of the best things I have learned while going through this is God won’t put you through something unless he knows you will be able to overcome it. Another way I have used these things in a positive way is by using my experiences to help others who are going through similar things in their lives.
The best way to find joy and peace from the hardships of life is to get involved in other people’s lives. Take an interest in other people and their circumstances. Share in their joy and their pain.
6) Decide to have a relationship with God.
The Bible says the only way to know God is by knowing His son, Jesus. Jesus was basically God with skin-on and gave us a way to know who He is, His love, and how to be in a relationship with Him.
Lucas wrote: Sometimes only God will know why He has allowed a trial and sometimes He will reveal its purpose to us. Sometimes it’s because He is preparing us for a greater thing. Sometimes it is to show to us how little we truly love Him, and to allow us to change. Trials give us an opportunity to build our faith in a way nothing else can.
How have you dealt with your own personal anger toward God? I’d love to hear from you. Please let me know how you got over being upset with God.
It’s hard to have faith when life is hard, but God understands your pain. For more help read this blog
Your Friend,
For more on reconciling the goodness of God and bad things in the world read these blogs from organizations we partner with:
Where is God in the midst of tragedy?
How Can God Allow So Much Evil and Suffering?
40, unhappily married, mother of 4. God has been my rock for 20yrs. Most of those years were lukewarm. My life has been crap since the beginning. Sexually abuse by my dad. My mom used to fight my siblings & I then brag to my aunts about it. She has mental issues. My dad was a single parent. I remember being suicidal at 12 due to the sexual abuse. When I was 14, I wanted to stay with a friend for 2wks. My dad said I had to have sex with him in order to go. I said I’ll tell on him. He got the dictionary, looked up evil. He said I was evil. My older sister was my best friend. I looked up to her. She was like a mom to me even though we’re 2yrs apart. She later admitted to me (as a adult), she hated me & wanted to kill me. That’s my foundation. My life consisted of sex with older men. Tbh I simply wanted to be loved. I’d make friends until they found someone better. Suicidal thoughts grew stronger every year due to rejection. In my 20’s I heard a voice while sleeping telling me to do God’s will. That woke me up spiritually. Searched for Him, His word. I fell in love with God/Jesus. Things in my life never really changed. Suicidal thoughts, break downs, get back up, rely on faith…repeat. I’m tired. I don’t expect for things to be perfect, but geez. I feel ignored, used, rejected and over looked by everyone for 40yrs Including God at this point. Mind you I put forth an effort to change my negative thinking.
Tried to walk in love. I genuinely made an effort daily to change my life for the best. Pointless.
Ready to step away from my faith because what difference does it make when the outcome is the same. This is all over the place. I’ve been up crying out to God. Also, my horrible backstory showed me what is actually needed to be a parent. Love, communication, guidance, discipline, quality time and praise. Raising my kids (2 are grown, 2 are teens), are the only thing I’ve done right.
I’m mad at God. Really mad. All I’ve ever wanted is to be happily married to a man I love who loves me. That is the one part of my life that is consistently messed up. Everything else is pretty good in my life. I have a lot to be grateful for. I AM grateful.
But I still want the happy marriage. The other stuff is great, and I DO thank God for it. BUT IT’S NOT THE SAME!!
I’m going along with everything, being a good girl, etc. I act like everything is fine. But inside, I’m angry at God. I’ll probably never stop being angry at God. God is going to do whatever he wants whether I like it or not. Well, he got what he wanted. I hope he’s happy.
Joe wrote: I have to admit that I am angry at God. The more I have prayed for help and guidance, the more I get nothing. He is ignoring me. It’s His right to do with me what He will, but I am frustrated because I have done what I think I am supposed to do and yet no response, no help.
This is EXACTLY how I feel. Minus the ignoring part. I know He sees me but I feel like God is just watching me struggle. I have ADHD and 2/3 children also have it. Parenting them well is exhausting mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. No matter what I do or try, we just don’t get much traction and I end each day feeling discouraged, hopeless, and worst of all- helpless because I am doing the best I know how and still our family suffers from the chaos of having neurodiverse brains. My oldest is 9 and a half, so we’ve been at this for a few years now and I’m tired. Last night, in my usual sleep deprived state (because they have difficulty falling and staying asleep), is when I realized some of my anger is directed at God over this.
However, I see a glimmer of hope in remembering that my expectations of Him are what is contributing to my misplaced anger. Thanks for the article. I can’t finish it at the moment, but I will come back to this to help myself remember that I was not promised a life without hardship, but that He would be with me (John 16:33).
I was in your shoes, and I prayed for guidance. God answered me and showed me what was effecting my children. We removed artificial and synthetic ingredients from our food and environment. Then we later stopped all vaccinations after God opened my eyes further. My children did 360’s. I have no doubt God led the way.
I’d like to disagree: God owes us everything. When a parent brings a child into the world, that parent owes their child everything which it is in their power to deliver. Firstly love – unflinching, abundant, unconditional and expressed. To characterise a hurting persons response of anger towards God as akin to a spoiled child having a tantrum is arrogant, unhelpful, and just plain incorrect. The simplistic approach you offer is harmful, and doesn’t lead to any better understanding of the nature of God & his love.
Telling a broken person that their anger is somehow childish is hurtful in the extreme. l don’t have chiIdren, but can (barely) imagine the crushing pain of the death of one’s child. What response other than extreme and overwhelming anger is more appropriate for a grieving parent? Do you really expect the quadriplegic sufferer to shrug and accept their fate? Or the lonely singleton, or – doubtless in your twisted theology – the non heterosexual, to cheerfully accept a life lacking sexual expression or even intimacy? Should we not get angry for these people, as much as they do for themselves? Does the survivor of childhood abuse not have the right to be angry with the God- who we often sing about as “all powerful” who allowed this evil to befall them? Power is only power if it can be exercised, so on all-powerful God who is constrained from acting is emphatically not all powerfuI. The loving God who chooses not to intervene to prevent evil is surely not a loving parent. Our anger may be inchoate, but that doesn’t mean that it is irrational, misdirected, childish or wrong.
God’s promise is abundant life – in all its fullness. How hollow that sounds to me. Sure, I don’t have the ” full picture”. Tell me: what is the full picture of a life ruined by childhood abuse? By years of depression? Where are the years the locusts have eaten? What is the full picture here?
Is it simply that some are “vessels for destruction”? If that is the case, then God is a liar. What human parent – evil as we are – would give a child a scorpion when they ask for good things? Yet God does. What human parent does not understand that hope deferred makes the heart sick. But God doesn’t. Oh, but you don’t see the big picture.
By now, I think you may realise that yes, I am angry with God. His unfailing love has failed me. His promises have proven hollow, or worse, have seemed like cruel mockeries. Restore the years? More like to those who have suffered, I will heap further suffering upon – a full measure, pressed down and flowing over.
In summary, I’d add another reason for expecting something from God: His promises, and what we are taught of the divine nature. I’d argue that the problem is not that we fail in our obligations to God, but that he fails in his – as an even ordinary parent – to us.
In the human world, a parent who allowed their unprotected child to be ravaged by the evil depredations of one who the parent well knew was bent on the destruction of their child – would not be allowed charge of any child. In most jurisdictions the parent would be prosecuted for neglect. Add in the unfulfilled promises, and you have abuse at its most heinous. Oh, but I don’t see the big picture.
Whilst “somebody” may have defined anger as you quote, I’d define it more simply as “a rational response to broken promises”.
Hear, hear!
Wow! INCREDIBLE
I agree. I believe in God, I’ve been born again, I’ve experienced the reality of God, yet the last 3 years have been a nightmare. All I have prayed for is my dad’s health, a good doctor, medicine that doesn’t destroy his mind. I’ve had no guidance from God. I have an ulcer. I am so tired I can’t think anymore. If God doesn’t help me and I mean by tomorrow, I don’t know what to think. I am done with waiting.
I have been through so much the last couple of years. I just want the hurting to stop! I started talking to a counselor last November, it has helped with some things but has opened more issues too! I have kept everything to myself my whole life and now she wants me to talk about them. This is very hard! I just feel like the heart aches just keep coming!
Nicole, We are proud of you for taking the first step by talking to a counselor. Talking about things can be difficult at first, however, it is so important to talk about them and get those feelings to the surface. Holding on to them and internalizing them can be toxic for your mental health and physical health. It is so very hard and the heartaches are a part of the process. If it helps, you are welcome to chat online with a HopeCoach to talk about what’s going on too, along with seeing your counselor. You can chat online with a HopeCoach here: https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ We believe in you!
If God had created women just like the good old days, then many of us guys wouldn’t be still single today. God created so many rotten women today unfortunately, especially the ones that will Curse at us for no reason at all when we will just try to start a conversation with the one that we think would be really nice to meet for us.
On the flip side, I feel as though there are no good men out there. Men my age are looking at my daughters. If God created woman for man why didn’t he make men decent?
My question is, “How are you judging which women would be worth you dating?” I see a lot of older men who base everything on sexual attraction and not on the woman’s heart. This is a sinful societal brainwashing when you base how much sex appeal a woman has as worthy of your time. God wants us to judge each other by our hearts, but man teaches us otherwise.
Amanda, there are many of us good single men out there very seriously looking for a relationship today. And why would we want to be single and alone anyway to begin with? I don’t like being single at all. Didn’t God say that man shouldn’t be alone? Many women just don’t realize that there are many of us single men that don’t play games at all, and would really know how to treat a good woman with a lot of love, respect, and commitment. However, it is most of the women nowadays that are very mean, horrible, and nasty altogether when it comes to us men for no reason.