Are You Mad At God?
I’ve got to believe at some point in your life, you’ve raised your fist and shouted out in anger at God. Most of us have done it.
Maybe your parent died, or you had a friend get seriously sick, or even killed. Maybe you have cancer, or some kind of handicap. These and other serious issues enter our lives, making it easy to target God for our pain.
Someone described anger this way: Anger is a human emotional response to situations that are either out of our control or out of our ability to understand, or both.
Have you ever wondered why we get so angry at God? That’s what I want to talk about, because I can assure you that while God allows us to cry out to Him, He doesn’t want us stuck in rage towards Him.
What are some of the reasons why we get mad at God?
The main reason we get so upset with God is that we think He owes us something. This usually happens in two ways:
1) We don’t get something we want.
Have you ever really wanted a relationship with that perfect girl or guy? Or you really wanted that job you knew for certain would be perfect for you? When these things didn’t work out, you no doubt found yourself hurt and disappointed. Our first impulse is almost always to blame God.
Daphne wrote: When we get mad at God it is really like a 2-year-old throwing a fit because Mommy or Daddy won’t let them stick their finger in the light socket. The 2-year-old can only see what he/she wants, the parent sees the bigger picture, and the danger. When we are mad at God we show our immaturity, ignorance, and our shortsightedness.
2) We get something we DON’T expect.
When something bad happens to someone we love, or to us, or someone gets really sick, or even dies we wonder why these things have to happen. We think of God as a big genie in the sky who should only give us good things and prevent the bad.
I received a comment from someone who said: Some people wonder why their lives end up being a certain way, and they blame God for it, because if God really cared for them, then He wouldn’t let them suffer.
We think, “If God is so loving, why am I in so much pain? Is He punishing me for no reason by allowing horrible things to happen to me, or the people I love, or even the world?”
We think God owes us something.
Both of these situations can make a person feel like God doesn’t care about us. After all the prayers we’ve prayed, God still didn’t heal your brother’s cancer, or get you the job you wanted.
Joe wrote: I have to admit that I am angry at God. The more I have prayed for help and guidance, the more I get nothing. He is ignoring me. It’s His right to do with me what He will, but I am frustrated because I have done what I think I am supposed to do and yet no response, no help.
We get angry when we think God owes us something. When in fact, God owes us nothing.
A couple of other reasons:
- We get angry with God when we don’t know all the facts. It’s so easy to think we know everything, but we can only see a very small part of the picture.
- We get angry at God when we see others claim to know Him, and then act like hypocrites. It’s easy to blame God for the faults of others.
These are just a few reasons why people get angry with God. Of course, there are many more.
How to get over being mad at God – Know what you can expect from Him.
If we think God is going to be our genie in a bottle, and make everything good in our lives, we’re going to be mad at God when something bad happens. Having faith in God is not insurance against hardships.
In the Bible, Jesus says- “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
So what can we expect from God?
- His Peace – If we trust in Him and believe in Him we will have peace even in the hard times. Do you want to know how to find this peace? Begin Your Journey To Peace with this great resource from Peace With God.
- God Wins in the End – This world is full of sin, hate and death and that comes from the enemy, Satan, not from God. However, for all those who believe in Jesus, there is glorious, eternal life in heaven.
- His Comfort – He promises to be near those who are hurting. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
- His love – He promises His love for us. “God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16) He loves your heart and is with you in the midst of whatever your circumstances.
- Life with greater meaning and significance – If we got everything we thought we wanted, we’d be spoiled and selfish. God is a wise father who knows what we need to become the best men and women we can be.
What can you do when you are mad at God?
1) Tell him how you feel.
The best thing you can do is tell God what you’re angry about. He wants to hear from you about what you’re thinking and feeling. Tell God honestly where you are at. God knows what’s going on inside of you, but He wants to you be able to come to Him with honesty and openness.
2) Place the blame for evil on Satan, not on God.
God is good and Holy and perfect and loving. He is the opposite of evil. You may be mad at God because he didn’t prevent the bad from happening to you, but he is not to blame for the bad thing, Satan is. Jesus says in the Bible “The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.” (John 10:10)
3) Pray for courage, strength and peace to make it through the day.
Betsy wrote: I find it easiest to leave everything in God’s hands and pray that he will care for me and do what’s BEST for me, not what I want, but what is best. It’s very hard, and I have trouble with that at times, but that is my overall goal.
4) Trust that God will use a hardship for something beyond what you can see.
So can God use for everything we go through for a greater purpose? I believe He can. Ask God for understanding to see the bigger picture. Over time, you may see more clearly how God used your trial for good.
Jill wrote honestly: I feel like I have a daily tug of war with God. I know everything happens for a reason, but when you’re lonely, broke, bored, and feel helpless, it is really hard to say, okay God, I know you’re doing this for a reason.
Betsy echoed Jill’s thoughts: After many trials, I learned that it is best to accept what God has done and believe that it is for my good, whether I like it or not.
Believing He does have a reason for everything we go through helps us to trust that something bigger is going on here, even more than we can probably understand. But I’m not God, He is. And I’m just going to trust that He knows what’s going on with me.
5) Get involved in other people’s lives.
A lot of our anger and frustration in life comes from thinking about ourselves too much – we think about the way things are and how different they are from how we wish they’d be.
Yevgenia wrote: One of the best things I have learned while going through this is God won’t put you through something unless he knows you will be able to overcome it. Another way I have used these things in a positive way is by using my experiences to help others who are going through similar things in their lives.
The best way to find joy and peace from the hardships of life is to get involved in other people’s lives. Take an interest in other people and their circumstances. Share in their joy and their pain.
6) Decide to have a relationship with God.
The Bible says the only way to know God is by knowing His son, Jesus. Jesus was basically God with skin-on and gave us a way to know who He is, His love, and how to be in a relationship with Him.
The Bible says the only way to know God is by knowing His son, Jesus. #madatGod Click To TweetLucas wrote: Sometimes only God will know why He has allowed a trial and sometimes He will reveal its purpose to us. Sometimes it’s because He is preparing us for a greater thing. Sometimes it is to show to us how little we truly love Him, and to allow us to change. Trials give us an opportunity to build our faith in a way nothing else can.
How have you dealt with your own personal anger toward God? I’d love to hear from you. Please let me know how you got over being upset with God.
It’s hard to have faith when life is hard, but God understands your pain. For more help read this blog
Your Friend,
For more on reconciling the goodness of God and bad things in the world read these blogs from organizations we partner with:
Where is God in the midst of tragedy?
How Can God Allow So Much Evil and Suffering?
I am mad at God because of the horror I see happening in Australia. Why are animals paying for what man has done? The Bible says He regretted making humans, I do too, so I guess we think alike in that respect.
I don’t understand, the images of their suffering and death are painful beyond anything I can explain. I have prayed to Him everyday to stop this madness, have mercy, bring rain, soak the fires, and bring restoration. I have bargained, ” wouldn’t this be a great way to show your Glory? ” (yeah, not my best moment, but I did it any way.) I have prayed for the fire fighters, their families, the people lost, their homes, the land, every creature, alive, dead, the hurt, and in harm’s way, and the animal rescuers to have strength to bear what they have seen. It is depressing and makes me feel hopeless and helpless.
Laura, It is so hard to understand why this tragic suffering is going on in Australia. 🙁 We have lifted up many prayers here at TheHopeLine for those affected in Australia. Your heartfelt prayers for all that you mentioned is being heard. It is good that you are talking about this and how it is making you feel depressed and hopeless. We have a blog that may help you continue to process all of this. It’s at https://www.thehopeline.com/why-do-bad-things-happen/ Also, a HopeCoach would be blessed to listen to how this is making you feel. Would you chat with a HopeCoach tonight at https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/. We care about you and want the best for you.
I thank you for your response. I read the article suggested. Thank you for that. I spoke with my husband last night about how sad I am and we talked about the idea of sin in regard to being mad at God. He said even Jesus got mad and did some property destruction. (My husband is a jokester.) (Though that was a bit different than being mad at God, it was more being mad for God).
I struggle a lot with the things people do to animals. God has placed on me an enormous amount of compassion for them. I see it as a blessing and a curse. Blessing, because the opposite is indifference (which is horrible), curse, because it hurts, A LOT.
My husband also told me he watched a video of rain falling in Australia, like downpours, not just a small amount, and people were so happy. I can only thank Him for that, and pray for more(without distruction, please).
I think we tend to forget or dismiss how powerful prayer is, and oftentimes, as humans, our hands are completely empty, we have so little power. What I am trying to say is, He empties our hands, so we lean on Him more. I was wrong, in being mad at Him, and now have a better understanding, that my power lies not with me, but with Him.
I also thank Him for allowing me to be mad at Him, so I could come around to the other side of it and understand Him a bit more…instead of praying in anger (negative), pray with hope( positive).
I am getting there, so glad He has patience with me. (On judgement day, I see myself pulling out a list and saying to Him, “On yeah, well I have this list of things I think you could have done differently, too!” ). 😇
Laura,
I really enjoyed reading your comment. What a blessing to hear how supportive your husband is towards your feelings about the suffering in Australia. Your compassion and empathy is so needed in our world today. You are right, having such an empathetic spirit can hurt a lot, however, you’re a great example to others! Many have built up walls so high that they don’t care anymore. You care and God loves you for that. What a great way to look at your feelings towards God, by thanking Him for allowing you to be mad at Him. I love your humor about judgment day! Take care, Laura, you have a good and caring soul! Terri from TheHopeLine Team
How did I stop being angry at God? I stopped at step one and then I repented. I felt better. Then I found this article and felt confirmation. There are a lot of people hurting in the comments. Mostly because we chased God and He couldn’t be caught.
I dont have words to say to bring peace because I, too, am asking the same questions about why I ‘feel’ abandoned. But one thing I can say is that everytime I’ve gotten angry and belligerent with God, ive felt good releasing that steam and then I’ve felt better after I repented. It feels very rewarding. God knows how much you’re hurting and even though your life is miserable. He wants you to find the reward in His presence more than you find in his promises.
Our stubborn minds don’t want to hear it but I appreciate this article pointing out that God owes us nothing. Deep down we know this but we want Him to love us how we are accustomed to love.
Humans value love as what people give us (attention affection, honor, favor, priority, privilege, gifts, time, sacrifice, etc…). If those things stop we see it as love lost. How many spouses forget the compromises made beforehand when the spouse pulls away? How many friendships were severed and the acts of love were no longer valid? How many unabused children grow up to hate their parents despite the love they carried out in the past? They can only see love in the present and in action. It’s because we are all selfish. We want to feel active love all of the time and we dont value the love that has been shown. We are ungrateful. It’s hard to stomach, admit, and agree to but its human nature.
You see God has already done the ultimate act of love when He sent Jesus to take our sins. If we get nothing else in this world we get the reassurance of an eternal peace, which is really the best gift. When this short life and all of its trials are over we get to be immersed in goodness, every tear wiped. While those who dont know God will suffer eternally leading them from a short mediocre life to a non stop gnashing of teeth in pain from being away from Gods presence. It isn’t worth it. Even if you live from zero to 120 in pure misery, it isn’t worth exchanging for Gods eternal presence… no more guessing or chasing, or stressing or blaming, or feeling ignored or excluded. Complete acceptance and good times with the Father.
Now to the hurting heart who is living through a pain, this may just sound like babbling words that do nothing to stop your very real, very current pain. I have felt the same. But let me remind you that is only because we are selfish. We are ungrateful. We are not worthy. But God loves us anyway.
He came to earth as Christ and felt the rejection and heartache and struggle and abuse and He STILL said I’m going through with it anyway. I could start over with a new design of people but these I love. I’m going to die for them even though they are selfish, ungrateful, scoffing, and belligerent, I’m going to see this through and save them anyway because some will accept Me and repent and I will forgive and welcome them into My kingdom because love is what I do and Who I am. And though they will cry through the seemingly impossible situations they have to live through they will soon see that none of those problems could touch the everlasting problems of the lost, unsaved, wicked… and then they will finally understand that I love them and they are safe.
We are told what good is it to profit the world and lose our soul because that is what matters. When we get too caught up in very real and present dangers, let’s let God know “Hey Dad, I’m mad at you, help me!” And expect Him to. Repent for your misdirected anger and remind yourself that though this danger is horrible, unacceptable and downright cruel, we can see Gods love when we look to Him in truth and not in fear of the situation. In truth we know He sees the big picture. Hold onto your faith even when it feels hopeless. Even if it’s been 50 years and you felt like giving up 2 decades ago, keep on enduring to the end. Turn your thoughts on those of heaven and the rest will follow.
We can say “Lord I know I’m mad because I feel you’re not listening, and everything keeps falling through and my ex is still being blessed after all that he/she did and I cant keep my head above water and I wonder how you expect me to stay out of debt if you didn’t bless me with a larger income, and my very best friend has cancer, and I’m paying for someone else’s mistake, and I’m dying slowly, BUT my hope is not tied up to the things in this life. These distractions are temporary and when they are over, they are done and new things, good and bad, will replace them but nothing can replace your good in the kingdom.
I am trusting in your promise to prepare a place for me in the kingdom and that is where I will focus my eyes and my heart. Thank you for your faithfulness, mercy and grace. Only you can be trusted to be Good. Not this life, these circumstances, friends, family or even me. My eyes are on the prize and I cant promise that I wont get angry when hurting and weak but I will always let you know and trust that you love me anyway and it will bring me closer to you. Then we can laugh about this in the kingdom some day after I’ve endured to the end where the promises come to life and the eternal rewards overflow.” God bless you all.
I was so mad at God today I cried my eyes out and said ” IM NEVER PRAYING EVER AGAIN!! And I meant it..Here I am reading this article bawling my eyes out. And praying…😤😭 No He doesn’t owe me anything, my life can be much worse. Actually despite my circumstances at the moment, I am Blessed. But some days I feel life squeezing the life out of me. I pray, and pray and pray. I get angry when I feel abandoned and alone/ helpless. I really needed to read this. On to another day….🙏
Hello Monica, Thank you for your comment. We are encouraged to hear how our article helped you. We want you to know you are not alone. We are here to listen and help. If you’re seeking prayer, we have a prayer site with prayer champions that will pray for you at https://www.theprayerzone.com/. We also think you would benefit from having an email mentor. It would be someone that you can email back and forth with for as long as you like about anything. You can sign up for an email at: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/. And lastly, we’d love for you to be a part of our community that is praying live on Facebook 4 times a week. To find out more go to: https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/
We believe in you and so does God! Keep fighting and never give up.
I have a bitterness to God now because a person in my life has been sick with cancer, double knee replacement and now he has lost his job from not being able to work and the doctor not releasing him and them stopping his disability leaving him with no money to live. At least I can do some to help him. I have prayed to God for his help for him
Nothing and total silence. People who are evil seems like have better lives and less pain
This is truly how I feel as well. My mother has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has been unwell since June 2019. Life has just been wave after wave of anxiety , stress and hurt. Apart from her being in different kinds of pain and discomfort.
I’ve been living life praying and keeping positive but I just feel I am running thin and I am sooooo tired.
I am tired of being the breadwinner
I am tired of having to raise the kids and take care of my mother.
I am tired of having to make sure everything is okay.
I am tired of having to go to work and perform like my life is just fine.
I am tired of having to put my dreams on hold.
I am tired of pretending like this is the same mother who never emotionally and verbally abused me at one point. Who used to say the most cutting words.
I am tired of being the bigger person.
I am just tired of everything.
I just feel so frustrated with this situation.
In fact, to be a true Christian is not an easy thing. It takes real courage, faith, and love to stay with God even if everything seems to fall apart. Difficult moments come to tests our faith and willingness to be an overcomer. When prayers go unanswered it doesn’t mean you should give up on God. Why?; Because God’s time is the best.
All I know is that I can’t find any love for God and Jesus. I never had much, and now I have even less, and my “life” just keeps getting worse. I’m disabled and in chronic pain . When I relate everything that has happened to me, most people don’t believe me. And I feel that God is doing all this to me. I’m a sinner but not as bad as others by far. I don’t have any faith that God will help me. All I expect is more pain and unhappiness. I barely exist on my $900 a month disability. People tell me to go out and do something. I can’t afford cable for the TV so what am I supposed to do. I’m sick of all this and just wish God would leave me alone. I really don’t expect to ever have any hope
Ask God to give you mote love for Him ❤
I have prayed an prayed, we can’t afford to get married so we live in sin, I am depressed, we have nothing an noone, God doesn’t answer me, I’m angry as I threw my Bible across the room an that upsets me even more, I’ve lost all hope in everything, hold steadfast, what kind of advice is that when all u get since the day of your birth an for 42 years be in constant pain an battle,without love without happyness without dreams without hope because everyone u have hope it gets shattered just as quick, it’s not god’s fault but when your prayers for years an years come to nothing u start to lose hope an dreams, might aswel stay depressed or do away with yourself in this life coz what’s the point,I’m always gonna have nothing an noone an be a nobody,always slagged off,abused an ignored,might aswel die
Romans 2:11 says “god has no respect of persons.” Has anybody seen the meme where there are two different fed up wives who evict their husbands by throwing their stuff out of the house? The one woman who was impulsive just threw her husband’s clothes out of the house and all over the lawn whereas the second woman folded up her former spouse’s clothes in nice, neat piles and carefully placed them on the front step before changing the locks to the house. The first woman took back her abusive husband whereas the second lady decided she’d had enough abuse and neglect thus making her decision based on some level of poise and rationality. What the bible calls “pride,” which is also one of the seven sins, I call Self-Respect. “god owes (me) nothing,” not even respect? Well, I guess that’s my cue to leave.
“I don’t fear hell and I don’t care if I get into heaven.”
– Katharine Hepburn
I understand all this, I have had trials since the day I was born, my family don’t love me, been in and out of care all my life, been bullied domesticly abused raped lost children, lost homes, I’ve even overcome drug an alcohol abuse for 10 or so years now, failed relationships, always taking on other people’s problems, and I’ve been in a relationship with someone for 4years now, his partner died before I came along, I love him very much but I’ve had nothing but grief from his kids who she left behind selfishly from alcohol abuse that’s how she died, I’ve been regular to the grave with them, I’ve took abuse been penalised by his an my family,we have been deserted by everyone, we want to get married because I love God an don’t want to live in sin, I have prayed everyday for situation to change, social services were involved an he could’ve lost his daughter but I worked hard to help an now after 2 long years there not involved now, but all he does is argue with me an blames me for our pottless situation,I’ve given up my home everything to become a family for that little girl an when we argue he thinks I have other plans which I don’t, I pray everyday for God to help but situation has got worse, I want to get married I want to move from his home that he lived in with his partner,it’s not my home an I feel I’m living in her shoes,it’s not my life, I have strong faith always and I’m now losing it,I’m angry with God an that bothers me and I can’t run away as have nothing or noone and I thought I was being taught something by God but I feel it’s punishment, where is he because I’m starting to wonder
I see you didn’t reply to my question concerning God shirking his responsibilities. Well, answer me this, who’s responsible for a child born into an abusive family? The God who decided to put them there, or the parents He knew would treat the child poorly? I ask because I was one such individual. When I was younger I dared ask “Why did God do this to me?” The reply I got was “Don’t blame God for what your parents did”. When I pointed out that God was the one who put me there, knowing what would happen, I was told to stop my blasphemy. If you’re going to answer my question with platitudes, just delete, because I’ve heard them all.
As for the hell I spent my youngest years in, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. No one else who was a so called “Christian” has yet.
Wayne,
We are sorry you have gone through this incredible amount of pain in your life. It is understandable that you are experiencing anger toward God. What we would like to do is to offer you an email mentor that you could talk about this long-term. It would be someone that you can email with back and forth about what you described in your comment or anything else that is going on in your life. To sign up for an email mentor, please go to: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/
I get that.
God can look down the timeline of life and see how things will play out. Makes a decision contrary to our prayers and we are stuck with the result.
Free will my a77.
If God wants me to find him and his will, why has he turned my life into a long game of hide-and-seek and made himself impossible to locate? Why does he always play hard to get? An earthly father loves his children, wants to be with them and play with them. He doesn’t hide from them and make them do all the work in the relationship. Why isn’t God more like that?
And I know God isn’t responsible for any of my hardships and trials. I simply want him to help me understand why, and not let me suffer in the silence of his neverending absence.
God isn’t serving you. Why remain attached to a belief that doesn’t serve you in return. Please ignore anyone who says God doesn’t owe you anything. If what you are doing doesn’t serve you in some capacity you can change that situation.
I know if no woman who would stay with an abusive husband. Are we not the bride to God?
Very well said.