How To Understand & Manage Your Anger

Anger is a common human emotion that arises when we are upset by life circumstances, difficulties in relationships, and frustrating inconveniences.

Because the emotions and physical feelings of anger are so strong (and so often negative), it can be hard to know what to do with your anger. But anger is not a feeling you have to be afraid of. There are ways to understand and manage it.

Understanding Anger

Not everyone gets angry for the same reasons, but there are some common threads behind what drives anger for most people.

Pain: Pain and anger fuel one another. Very often, anger issues develop after abuse, or some other trauma you’ve experienced (neglect, assault, abandonment, etc.)

Sense of Injustice: This is one of the most common sources of anger. When you feel you or someone you care about have been treated unfairly, anger is often a natural consequence.

Grieving: Grief after a loss often includes anger because you’re upset that someone you love can no longer be with you, or because you feel like your life will never be the same (i.e. when someone you love dies, or after losing a job or ending a relationship).

Toxic Forms of Anger

Once you better understand your anger, it’s important to put healthy boundaries on your feelings (and how you express them) so that your anger doesn’t contribute to abusive or toxic relationships. Be on your guard against feelings like:

Bitterness: Becoming bitter is resigning yourself to your anger, and convincing yourself that nothing about your life or your emotions can change for the better. The resulting jealousy and resentment may keep you from forming new relationships.

Hatred: Anger shifts to hatred when you desire that the people who hurt you also experience pain or are “paid back” for what they’ve done. There’s little room for forgiveness and healing when people hate one another.

Rage: Rage is the point when anger causes people to lose control and cause pain to others by harming them verbally, emotionally, or physically. If you’ve damaged property or valuables (throwing or breaking things, punching walls, etc.), or feel as though fights with someone have gotten out of control, it’s time to get help with your anger.

Healthy Anger Management

Learning healthy ways to manage your anger keeps it from controlling you and prevents harm to yourself and others.

Don’t Ignore It: It’s a very good thing to express your anger to a mentor, therapist, or trusted friend. Asking for help and support can help lessen the intensity of your emotions and lead to healthier coping strategies.

Find an Outlet: Sometimes you just need a break from thinking about the person or situation making you angry. A healthy outlet (exercise, prayer, meditation, or creative expression) can help with relaxing some of the intense physical feelings that accompany anger.

Get help to identify where your anger comes from, what makes you angry, who in your life you might need to forgive. Allow TheHopeLine to help. Chat with us.





You don’t have to be controlled by your anger. Search our resource library of ebooks, podcasts, blogs, testimonials, and more to find answers to your questions about anger:

  • Can I use my anger for good?
  • What should I do if my best friend is angry with me?
  • What if I’m mad at God?

FAQ on Anger:

What if I Hate Someone Because of Politics?

Hating someone is different from anger. When you’re angry, you’re mad at someone for what they did. If you hate them, you hate who they are. If you’re struggling with hate because of differences in politics, TheHopeLine can help.

Learn more

See More

Most Recent Blogs on Anger

How Do You Stop Hating Someone Who Doesn’t Align with Your Political Beliefs?


Disagreeing About Politics in a Healthier Way In the last year, people have become more and more passionate about their political beliefs and involvement. The 2020 election saw a historic turnout, with many young people voting for the first time. It can be exciting to feel like you're making a difference..Read more

How To Deal with Anger


Ideas for Healthy Anger Management When we get angry, it can be difficult to control it. Have you ever lashed out in anger? Have you yelled, broken something, or said something you regretted out of anger? These mistakes are part of being human. It can be difficult to manage our strong..Read more

How Anger Manifests Physically and 7 Ways to a Healthier Outlook


Healthy Anger Management is Possible When you get really angry, it can affect your physical health. Whether you’re mad at a friend, fighting with a parent, or going through a breakup, anger can be tough to get through in a healthy way, and could easily take its toll on your physical..Read more

How to Stop Being Mad About Things Beyond Your Control


Finding Patience in Losing Control   In life, there are problems, challenges, and consequences that can happen as a result of my own unwise choices or poor judgments. But there are also many situations, big and small, that are beyond my control. That can feel overwhelming and frustrating, because I want to..Read more

View More >

Podcasts about Anger :

Videos on Anger:

eBooks on Anger :

Ask Dawson:

Stories on Anger :

Don’t Lose Hope In Tough Times. There Is More.


When you're losing hope, it's not always helpful to have someone tell you what to do or explain where you went wrong. You need someone to listen, to be there for you, and to remind you that you were created for a purpose. I rediscovered my sense of hope in..Read more

Dawson McAllister Saved My Life When I was Nineteen


A Rough Path in Life Dawson McAllister saved my life when I was nineteen years old. I happened to be going through the radio stations on a Sunday night when I heard this soft-spoken voice. I tuned into his radio program, Dawson McAllister Live, more and more. I started to..Read more

Finding Hope After Abuse from Her Father


My Story Leaving Abuse Life of Abuse I was raised in a very dysfunctional family. My parents fought all the time and my dad was very abusive in all ways. My mom took this abuse all through the marriage for 32 years. I had no choice but to live with..Read more

Resources for Anger :

Spiritual Perspective :

Verses of Hope

Free eBooks


Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come through a relationship with Jesus. And this […]

View More >

Additional Resources

View More >