Grief: I Lost My Little Brother to Cancer

I Lost My Little Brother

Two years ago my brother, Kevin, died. He died from a brain tumor called a Diffused Intrinsic Pontine Glioma (DIPG). My brother meant the world to me. He was younger than me and we loved to do everything together. He loved superheroes…Ironman and Batman were his favorites.

My Friends Didn’t Know What to Say

When my brother was diagnosed with his cancer all my friends started acting distant, and then when he died, they all basically left me. They acted like they were there for me, but when I would try to talk to them they didn’t know what to say and just drifted off into their own world together that I didn’t fit into any longer. The grief I felt losing my brother is indescribable. A year after my brother died my friends said to me, “you need to move on and be happy again.” They had absolutely no right telling me that. To this day when I tell people about that they cringe and can’t believe they said that either. There is no way that you can just “get over” your grief. They say that there are seven stages of grief. If that’s true, then I still go through those seven stages every day, two years later.

How to Understand Someone in Grief

Grief  Takes Time

Basically what I want to say is that grief takes time. There is no limit to how long you are allowed or not allowed to grieve. Friends should not tell you to move on or abandon you because they don’t know how to handle you in your deep sadness. Grief is no easy thing to handle. A lot of people give up. I nearly have. I’ve been to a psych ward for two weeks because of depression caused by my brother’s death. I’ve also had many health conditions since he died.

Please don’t let anyone tell you to get over it and get on with your life because, unless they have gone through what you are going through, they simply don’t understand. Keep strong. I’ll keep trying if you keep trying.  – Kevin’s big brother

Have you lost someone you love? Does your heart ache with grief? Read Jordan Zehr’s story about the end of his grieving process. He is part of HeartSupport‘s blog team. 

Photo Credit: Jairph