Why Do People End Their Life by Suicide?

The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But suicide is preventable and talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.

How to Handle Suicidal Thinking

Talking About Suicide Save Lives

I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:

  • pain
  • loneliness
  • rejection
  • abuse
  • guilt
  • depression
  • helplessness
  • hopelessness

More than anything, I believe people who live with depression and suicidal thoughts feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?

Why Is Suicide So Common Among College Students?

For most students, college is a time of “firsts.” For the first time, you’re faced with living outside your parents’ home, managing your own schedule, deciding on an academic trajectory, working or taking out loans to pay for school, making new friends, getting to know a new environment, etc. Trying a new thing is always going to be a bit stressful, even if you’re excited about it. Trying a million new things all at once? Very stressful.

Without support, self-care, and a certain level of familiarity with mental health, times of transition and stress are very likely to impact us emotionally. College is a time when loneliness, hopelessness, depression, and anxiety have a lot of opportunities to take hold of you. On top of that, the typical age range of a college student (18-24) is a time when many mental illnesses manifest in patients. Whether you’re in college or not, these years are when your brain may develop symptoms of anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.

Between the stage of brain development that most college students are in, and the stress level they’re experiencing in a time of high expectations and constant change, it’s no surprise that suicide rates are especially high within this particular population.

So what can you do about it? If you or someone you know is headed to college, get on the school’s official website and explore what kinds of resources they offer for mental health. Most campuses have health centers to support their students’ needs, and many of those now offer services like counseling or support groups that are free for students. Get familiar with that resource so that if you need it, you can use it! And even though college is a busy time, make sure that caring for yourself is a top priority. Adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, other types of rest, and social support are all crucial elements of a healthy college experience.

Don't Believe the Lies...You Matter

It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves.

Oftentimes, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost; hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies that depression and suicidal thoughts tell you about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.

Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. "I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I'll ever have. I just want the pain to stop. It's as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right." There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse by talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.

Reach Out to Talk About the Pain...Never Give Up

Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop. They think, "Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain." It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.

Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it's my only choice anymore. I know it's not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can't move on with this life anymore.

Substance Abuse Magnifies Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors

If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment, and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, and self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.

Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, that they can't find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it. I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.

Mandy also wrote: "Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2020, it was a reminder that even the strong fall... "

Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. If you're thinking, "I just want the pain to stop", let us help you. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.

TheHopeLine Team
For over 30 years, TheHopeLine has been helping students and young adults in crisis. Our team is made up of writers and mental health professionals who care deeply about helping others.
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443 comments on “Why Do People End Their Life by Suicide?”

  1. I dont think suiciding is the right thing, I'm happy when I get past hard things.
    It makes me stronger harder and better.
    If anyone is reading this, Good luck with your life.
    Even if you feel like everyone hates you its not because of you, its because they dont have who to love so they become haters, dont be like them dont let them break you.

  2. I have been thinking about suicide since I was 14 when my life was like hell from unhelpful parents and abusive sister to widowed deadbeat father and overly nagging and controlling sister who just finished Princeton University. Right before my mom died with hep disease, my sister abused me in various ways in the past and my parents show no compatibility with each other nor saved me from her. Instead, they sent me to certain education programs to help me, but doesn't help me to deal with her. My sister is so complicated that I don't even know what she is trying to do with me. I always wanted to end my sister's life so I can move on with my own life without dealing any further problems that she's creating for me. After my mom died, this family went onto a complete meltdown. My dad has been gambling, smoking, and drinking problem altogether which caused a huge financial problem. My sister finished Princeton University, but it doesn't mean that she can find a passion nor find a proper job for her since economy is like crap and she barely changed her personality. I have a mental problem with so many scars that my sister inflict to me in the past, a severe head injury from high school that create a mark on my head, financial problems which I have no choice but to stop college to find a job. Right now as individuals, my dad and my sister has little money left with no jobs while I have a part-time job working at the Home Depot as a Lot Associate (thanks to my sister) with reasonable amount of money to save. Also, my dad has borrowed money from me to deal with his problems more than paying me back. My sister is pressuring me to look for a second part-time job or go back to college, but my life is so unstable that college is not an option for me. Another issue is that this family is living an apartment so rent needs to paid by my dad who own the lease and chances of getting evicted is quite high because my dad fails to pay the rent and relies too much on me to pay the rent at his expense, the inspection will come and see us like we're violating the rules of living here. My sister has a job, but she quit because of her huge ego, her co-workers overused her, and her lack of passion of staying there. Looking for another job is extremely hard and frustrating that the economy is assuming that it's improving, but it's actually no where close to improving. The reason why I'm still alive is that my family may see a hint of potential in me, but I can't have a proper life independently nor have a stable living condition and going back to college is a very long journey until they learn how to take care of themselves and not put me involve into their problems. As if right now, I'm 23 and struggling to move forward with my own life. There are a 3 options left for me to do:
    -Continue working a part-time job to survive
    -Commit suicide if fired from a job and no other jobs would want me in
    -Third option is something you shouldn't be part of and I'm not telling about that

  3. Sorry, got cut off...
    I just thought you should know that you are a very gifted writer and have a very thoughtful and interesting voice. I think you have a lot to say that would make a great contribution to this world. Maybe just try and give some energy to that voice...in some form...

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