How Do I Stop My Porn Addiction From Ruining My Relationship?

Chris’ porn addiction is affecting his relationship with his girlfriend. He’s trying to find ways to be held accountable.

Chris' Question:

Dawson: I hear you’re hooked on porn.

Chris: Yes, sir. I'm afraid I am. It comes back to haunt you a lot.

Dawson: How does it haunt you?

Chris: Just like my view on women… I've been dating a great girl for nine months now and it gets in the way of my relationship with her. I'm honest with her about it. I tell her about it, and she checks in with me to see how I'm doing. And I can't give her a straight answer a lot of the time… just because I'm not proud of the fact that I looked at porn.

Dawson: So, she’s trying to hold you accountable?

Chris: Right. She definitely is.

Dawson: How long do you think she’s going to keep that up?

Chris: I don't know, probably not too, too long. But for now, it's something that I feel like I'm working on and she's helping me out with.

Dawson McAllister's Answer:

Dawson: Yeah. Well, there are several things you can do - get rid of your computer in your house. If you were an alcoholic, would you live in a liquor store?

Chris: No, I would not, definitely not. 

Dawson: Every time you walk by your computer, she's whispering for you. She doesn't love you either. None of those women love you. Most of them are victims of abuse. Most of them are on drugs. Most of them are just paying their way to get their drugs. Be that as it may, she keeps whispering to you every time you walk by the computer.

Chris: Yes, definitely.

Dawson: You need to get three or four men around you, from your church. There's this program where you can have four or five guys sign up or women sign up, whatever and show them what you're watching.

Chris: Yeah. I just downloaded something the other day. It's accountability software, and it's actually going to email my girlfriend every two weeks, what websites I visit.

Dawson: I really like it. It’s moving that your girlfriend's in the middle of it, but she's not a man.

Chris: Right.

Dawson: She doesn't really understand, except that it makes her feel insecure because she's going, what's wrong with me.

Chris: Right.

Dawson: So, it's a slap in her face and she's trying to be very, very helpful, but it's definitely costing you something.

Chris: Definitely. Yeah. I mean, I'm looking for groups. It's not easy. This kind of resource - they don't broadcast these out very much, but I'm looking for it. So, I'm starting the process now and looking possibly at therapy as well.

Dawson: Absolutely! Hey, Chris, whatever it takes.

If you are fighting an addiction to pornography, you are not alone...68% of men and 18% of women use porn at least once a week. Read 7 Steps Towards a Porn-Free Life for help.

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