Posts by TheHopeLine Team

 

Is Adoption the Right Choice for You?

Adoption may be an option that you are seriously considering. Or you may just be wondering what adoption is like. Or you may feel that you could never choose adoption.  Whatever your thoughts, it is always good to have information about all of your choices (including Adoption, Abortion, and Parenting) before you make a final decision.  Adoption might be a good choice for you and your baby. When you consider making an adoption plan for your child, that doesn't mean you don't love your baby. It also doesn't mean that you are taking the easy way out.

What it does mean is that you are thinking about how to best meet needs: yours and your baby's, today and well into the future.  Adoption today may not be what you think. Openness has changed adoption.

Look at Your Options Available for Adoption

While it's true that with adoption, your parental rights and responsibilities are given to another set of parents, that doesn't end your ability to have a relationship with your child. Open adoption involves an ongoing, dynamic relationship between you, the adoptive parents, and your child.

There are different types of openness to meet different needs and levels of comfort. You owe it to yourself and your baby to at least get some information about the options available in adoption, so that whatever you choose, your decision is one that you have thought through and is based on facts.  There is no easy solution to an unplanned pregnancy. Each choice is hard and has its own difficulties. You can empower yourself by getting as much information as you can get about your options. Giving yourself time to consider carefully and weigh each option will help you make the right decision for you and your baby.

10 Questions Expectant Mothers Ask About Adoption

Is adoption the right choice for you and for your child? How can you make a plan that will meet your needs and your child's needs?

We've put together some questions that can help you as you plan for your and your child's future. This isn't an exhaustive list, but it can get you started in the right direction.

How can adoption be a good choice for my baby and me?

If you're not ready to be a parent, you can still give your baby the gift of life by choosing adoption.

Can I choose the family for my baby?

Yes! Most agencies have many adoptive couples who have been studied and approved. You might also want to choose a friend or someone who has been recommended to you.

How much contact can I have with my baby after the birth and after adoption?

You can spend as much time with your baby at the hospital as you choose. When you are planning your child's adoption, you can choose an open adoption plan that allows ongoing visits, or you can choose a less open adoption that keeps you informed through letters and photos. If you prefer not to have any contact, confidential adoption is also possible.

How soon after birth can my baby go to the parents I choose?

The timing of your child's placement depends on your preference, legal aspects, and the role of the birth father. Many mothers want their baby placed with the adoptive family directly from the hospital, while other mothers choose interim care while they consider their adoption decision.

How much will my child know about me?

Regardless of the type of adoption plan, you will want to provide a thorough social and medical history for your child. If you develop an adoption plan that includes ongoing contact, your child will know about you directly.

Does the expectant father have any rights?

Both you, as the expectant mother, and the expectant father have rights. If you disagree about adoption or you no longer have a relationship with him, your agency will work with him and/or the courts to determine his rights.

Can my child find me if he or she wants to search someday?

Searching may only be necessary if there has not been ongoing contact. The law in your state determines when and how your child may access the information in the adoption file, which your caseworker can explain.

How can I be sure that my child will be well cared for?

There are standards that every prospective adoptive family must meet which are set by both the agency and the state in which they live. Families are thoroughly assessed before being approved for adoption, and a caseworker will make visits to the adoptive family after placement to ensure your child's well-being.

Do I need an attorney, or do I pay my agency to assist me with the adoption?

In many states, you will not need an attorney, and most agencies provide services to you at no cost. If you do need an attorney, usually those costs are paid by the adoptive family.

Can I get help with medical and living expenses while I'm making an adoption plan?

Assistance with medical and living expenses is available through many agencies. For details about how your agency can help you in your particular circumstances, contact your caseworker.

Experience Matters!

Used with permission of Bethany Christian Services. Since 1944, Bethany has counseled more than 65,000 expectant parents facing unplanned pregnancies.

With more than 75 locations across the country, Bethany Christian Services is the largest adoption agency in the United States.
1.800.BETHANY

If you are pregnant and wondering what to do, download your free eBook.

Dawson,

When I was younger there was an abuse situation between me and my mom.  The whole family knew about it, but they just didn't want to say anything, cuz at the time they were doing foster and they knew if they said anything there would be an investigation and they would get in trouble.

She always said I would not have enough courage to tell anybody, so she was never worried about it.  One night, I was listening to your show on the radio, it was on z100.

I called TheHopeLine and told them what was happening, the next day they came out.   I was really glad they came out cuz after that she stopped with the abuse and started treating me differently.

I just want to say I'm really thankful cuz at the time I was having a hard time with being able to graduate high school with passing grades after that call things turned around, I was able to graduate high school and went on to be a Marine and now I've been in for almost two years without any problems.

If I hadn't made that call, I would have killed myself that's how much I hated my life but now I'm glad your show saved me.

I've been to ten different countries, and I still listen to your show as much as I can, and I can relate to some of the young adults that call in and give advice to the same situation or different situations cuz other Marines go through the same situations if not worse. So, in the end I just want to say thank you for the hopeline.

Thanks for what you are doing!

I started masturbating when I was 15 years old through the influence of my friend. He was a very good friend to me, he tried to seduce me but I resisted him.  I told him that if he tried again, I would not go out with him again and he left me for some time. 

After a while, he came to me again with the same issue and at that time he taught me how to do it by myself.  I continued from that time until I was baptized. 

The Lord Helped Me Overcome My Addiction

I continued in this shameful act until this year when the Lord saved me from this deadly sin. I prayed and fasted on my own several times for several years until the Lord really answered my prayers.  Now, I have hope for the future glory of His coming.  I really need everyone to pray because there are many people who are struggling like I was.  Thank you.

Has masturbation taken over your life? Here are 3 ways to tell if you are addicted to masturbation.

Guest Video Blogger on Bullying Prevention: Brooks Gibbs

We are excited to bring you a video from our friend and bullying expert, Brooks Gibbs. Brooks takes a whole different approach to bullying prevention. This is not your typical "words hurt" message. Watch and find out!

 Bullying affects so many of us at one time or another...either we've been bullied, we've seen someone bullied, or we've been the bully. Awareness is only the first step; the second step is action.  So, we are excited to bring you a video from our friend and bullying expert, Brooks Gibbs.  He is someone that was bullied, and he has turned that negativity into a positive. His passion is to empower victims with the skills needed to solve their bullying problems.

Brooks is a youth crisis counselor, bullying expert, youth speaker, author of Love is Greater Than Hate, and friend of TheHopeLine. October is National Bullying Awareness Month. Brooks says, "The most important message we can be promoting during this month of bullying awareness is the message of love." Tweet This!

If you want to hear more from Brooks, you can visit his website at https://www.brooksgibbs.com/.

If you or someone you know needs help with bullying then download TheHopeLine's free eBook:

A HopeCoach At 3:45am

I don't know that I ever caught their name on the live chat, but it was 3:45 in the morning and my husband had told me that he was leaving. I felt awful, at my very end. None of my friends were awake. But I found this online and my HopeCoach was very helpful. I needed someone to listen, and they were there. They also provided me with a few resources I intend to follow up on in the morning. I'm grateful for their help.

Thank you, HopeCoach, for being there for me!

If you have the capacity to love, then you have the capacity to be hurt. For insight on how to get over a broken heart, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

My best friend Alex committed suicide last month. I felt extremely horrible that I couldn't help him soon enough. I got to talk to a HopeCoach, and she helped me a bunch. She told me to make a legacy for him, to find new friends, keep my head up. I'm starting on a scrapbook of Alex and me. I'm also able to talk to our friend Rich. I'm planning on meeting new people and creating new friendships. Alex will also be in my heart and on my mind every second of everyday. He wants me to be happy, so I'm doing that. I loved speaking with the HopeCoach I got matched up with. Thank you.

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

My life has always had its ups and downs. I've had losses, I've had gains and I've made some mistakes along the way. I'm so hard on myself and I don't have much confidence. Recently, I made the mistake of having unprotected sex with a friend.

The fear of being pregnant was the only thing running through my mind and I didn't have anyone to talk to. I went online and stumbled upon TheHopeLine and I chatted with a woman named Nicole. It helped me a lot to hear her say that I didn't need to be so hard on myself. I felt dirty, worthless and irresponsible which added to my depression.

As we talked, I began to tell her how I really felt inside. I felt lost and I didn't know who I was anymore. She said that I needed to be the person I wanted to be and to not make decisions based on the happiness of OTHERS. It made me realize that life is short, and my life is for me. I am not here to make others happy. I am here to make my life worth living. I'm not religious, but she helped me change my view on myself. Your life is YOURS; you can make it whatever you want, and if you feel lost, TheHopeLine will be there for you no matter who you are and no matter what you believe in. These people are here for you.

Thank you so much for helping me. I've found the way to my happiness. If I make others happy in the process that's just a bonus!

If you are pregnant and wondering what to do, download your free eBook. 

"I Need Help; I Have a Drug-Addicted Partner."

Do you, or someone you know, have a partner struggling with drug addiction?
TheHopeLine is here to help. You can start chatting with a Hope Coach today.

Many people think TheHopeLine is only for those personally struggling—but we also support those who love someone battling addiction. We’re here to listen, encourage, and connect you with helpful resources for both you and your partner.

"My partner is addicted to drugs, and I did not know what to do or where to turn. I chatted with a HopeCoach. Lia was super helpful. She provided me with resources and really cared.
Thanks, Lia, you probably just saved my life and his!!"

For more information on breaking addictions, download our free Understanding Substance Abuse eBook.

My name is Hibari and I really want to thank my coach so much for spending the time to talk to me about my family problems. I have been having problems for a while now and talking to the coach really did help me feel a lot better. Thank you so much for praying for me, even though I don't share the same spiritual beliefs. Thank you so much for everything, I will never forget you and I will never forget the promise we made. I wish you all the best, for you are a very kind person.