Cutting/Self-Harm

Breaking Free from Self-Harm

This guest post is written by Amanda Turner, the founder and head writer of Breaking Free Indeed. Her hope is that by sharing her own story and the truths God has shown her, others might not feel so alone on their own journeys and can also find help in these truths. This passion grew from seeing how God freed her from the struggles that she felt so trapped in and redeemed the brokenness that she once thought could only be hidden at best.

Never Again. One Day at a Time.

“Well, it’s been two weeks…but what about two months from now? Will I make it that far okay? ‘Three months free’, ‘One year free’, sounds impossible…How do I know I’ll even be able to hold out a day more?”

It seems like just the other day I wrestled with those words. It’s amazing how quickly time moves. More than that, it is amazing how dramatically God transforms.

The Day I Gave Up the Fight to Resist

May 27th, 2015 was the day I gave up. After almost a year of living under intense depression and anxiety, I didn’t know what else to do. I felt lonely, panicked and overwhelmed. Hiding in my bedroom, I decided the nearest sharp object to me was the answer. I didn’t care anymore that I knew I wasn’t supposed to do it; all I cared was to drown out these feelings, and cutting seemed like the most promising way.

I had found myself thinking about it many times before. I could picture it in my head and feel the itch of it on my skin. I always told myself I wouldn’t ever fall for it though. For one, I didn’t have the guts to actually cut my skin, that’s gross, and besides that, it was obviously just crazy to do. Yet those thoughts and feelings persisted. I tried drawing on myself as a substitute to cutting, but at the end of the day I was still frantic and still had no relief. My resolve wore thinner and thinner. Anxiety and heartache can take you to places you never imagined you would go if you allow it to, and I was tired of fighting.

After thinking about it for a while, it didn’t sound so radical or drastic to do. It almost even sounded logical. I needed a way to release these feelings trapped inside of me. So when that night came, and I hurt, but I couldn’t cry, and I felt like I had nowhere to run, and I forgot the God who had carried me through the past trials of my life, I turned to a blade instead.

Pulled Down and Swallowed Up

At first it seemed good, I had done something about my pain. There was a level of satisfaction in that. But it quickly left. What had I done? Didn’t I promise I would never go here?! I had failed, and I had lost everything. The memory of what I had done to myself only made that night darker as I tried to fall asleep, and the following day just became even more anxious and painful. I told my parents what happened, and I promised them never again.

A couple weeks later, life got too busy to deal with, too overwhelming, too many thoughts and too much pain inside because I knew I was a failure at everything. How could I get away? Will it ever stop?? I remembered cutting myself before…I wasn’t supposed to do that…but no point in fighting now really is there? I had already lost. I had gone there before. This was my life now it seemed. So be it…

I cut myself again several times over the next week or two. And I made sure not to let anyone know this time. Not one single person. I couldn’t last very long in between cutting…while I felt better as I was doing it, that feeling stopped so quickly after I was done. It was like being pulled down into a vortex that just swallowed you up. Quick, slippery, frantic, swirling, falling, dark, helpless. But even as much as I hated it, I was determined to run full on into it. If I dove in deep enough maybe it would finally be enough to get me away from everything.

Interrupted

My plan was good to go, until it got interrupted by God. June 28th, 2015, we left for Jackson, MS, so I could go to Ballet Magnificat’s Summer Dance Intensive. I was staying on campus this time instead of with my family in a hotel like I had the years before. I figured this would work well actually, because there would be no one to stop me during those two weeks.

However, as my parents left and I stood there alone in the dorm room, I felt something deep down inside, buried under my stubbornness but still alive and steady, assuring me I had to let God change my heart here during this camp. Before that voice faded, I wrote a note to myself saying, “Whatever it takes. Do it!” Sometimes staring at those words was the only thing that made me hold on, and I almost gave up several times, but in my moment of crisis God always showed up with a reminder of His love for me.

Letting Go of My Need to Control

When you’ve been living your life trying to control it all yourself, it is painfully difficult to remember how to surrender and trust God to have the reigns, but it is necessary and it is worth it. He will pull your fingers open as gently as you allow Him to.

I didn’t notice it happening, but God changed me drastically during those two weeks in Ballet Magnificat’s intensive. At the end of my time there, I wrote out what God had shown me about anxiety and my desire for control over my life and emotions. I was seeing then that I could go to Him when I was anxious and overwhelmed and He would hold me. I was realizing that I could dump my emotions – even the ugly ones – on Him and that He could heal the hurt better than any cover-up trick I could try, if only I would trust Him to take care of my heart in His way and His timing. He is my Shelter from the craziness of this world and the craziness of my heart. I needed to remember these things.

Could I Stay Clean?

Coming back home, I worried about what would happen when real life hit again. Would I make it? Would I break again? I didn’t want to break; I actually wanted to get better now. But I was still so tired and worn down from my previous battles, did I have the ability to actually hold out and make it when things got hard? I looked online at people sharing stories of self-harm. They talked about how they had gone seven months without cutting, or three years free from it. It felt somewhat depressing. I had barely made it two weeks without cutting and many times I felt like it would kill me to keep fighting it. How could I ever reach seven months??

Today, I can give you that answer: you get there one day, one moment, at a time. You get there, not by resolving to last for however long without messing up, but by submitting in your heart to give up your will and your way and to run to God in every pain and bump that you face. You walk hand in hand with Him moment by moment, day by day, and then one day you stop and look over your shoulder in amazement because…

Now I Celebrate

Today, June 28th, 2016, I celebrate one year free from cutting! It was not impossible. I could not have gotten myself out of it, but with God, all things are possible. It is not us working our way out but simply being open and surrendered to His work in our hearts that brings us freedom and lasting victory.

God promises us this in the Bible:

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” – Matthew 19:26

God Understands Your Pain

For those of you who struggle with cutting or self-harm, either that the thought keeps chasing you or that you feel stuck going back to it, please know that God understands your pain and He is the only true Healer of our hearts.

You may be able to trick your brain for a short time by hurting your body, but in the end it is only hurting your heart further. By giving up on running from your pain, and instead facing it and bringing it before Jesus, He can offer a deeper, truer, comfort and He can mend the brokenness. His love is deeper than your skin, just like your pain. He can reach you more fully than a blade can. The relief won’t feel the same as cutting does, but it will be more complete and long lasting if you wait patiently at His feet and keep coming back to Him.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18

Breaking Free

To anyone who struggles, whether it be with self-harm or something totally different, whatever sin it is that you feel like you won’t be able to stay away from, that you are doomed to be drug back there forever, that you don’t know if you really do have the strength to get past: you really can make it. You can break free. You can leave the old patterns and lies behind. You don’t have to keep going back, and you don’t have to fear messing up again once you stop.

Yeah, you may trip, but God understands and has compassion on you. He won’t condemn you. You can instantly run back to Him for a hug when you do mess up. But also, you don’t have to trip! If you simply focus on keeping your gaze locked on Him, you won’t have to worry about sin suddenly pulling you down. He will keep your feet from slipping and will teach you to walk in His will. It is possible for “never again” to really mean never again, if you lean on your Savior’s strength and not your own.

“As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.” – Psalm 18:30-32

“Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” – Psalm 94:17-19

-Amanda

This post was originally published here.

Consequences of Cutting

by Dawson McAllister

I have been, for the last several weeks, blogging about cutting. It is not easy, or pretty. But neither is cancer, and we deal with it everyday. Cutting is a nasty, horrific addiction. There is nothing quite like it, short of suicide. Though most cutters would claim they don’t want to kill themselves, they just like the sight of their blood, and the high it brings. Andi said she’s been cutting for a year and a half, even though she doesn’t remember why she started.

Hours locked in the bathroom at home, or on the floor of a dirty bathroom stall, the cutter carries her precious tools with her wherever she goes ready at any time to take matters into her own hands. To relieve the emotional pressure and pain she can’t describe, she resorts to slicing into her own skin. The dripping blood reminds her she’s still alive. No one to talk to, she settles for self-injury. The blade is her fake friend. The shame and the scars, her constant companions. Just trying to find her way through the rocky road of life, she can’t help but turn inward.

I don’t want to be anything but compassionate toward someone caught in the struggle of cutting. But there is a time when it’s necessary to call it what it is and expose the destructive consequences of cutting.

Cutting Causes

1) Paralyzing, Emotional Pain

No one cuts to end up paralyzed in her own emotional pain. But somewhere down the road, that’s where she finds herself. Someone wrote and told me that after the high of cutting wears off, you are left with even more pain. I quit the cutting because someone once told me the truth, that you only forget about your emotional pain for a moment. It’s like a drug you come down from it and you feel much worse than you did before because you have to deal with the emotional pain that comes from cutting on top of whatever emotional pain you were already feeling.

Dara said she cut for two years, but still carries the weight of the emotional pain with her. The couple minutes of relief are not worth the months of hiding and uncomfortable situations when people find out.

People who begin cutting are convinced their self-medication works. It is a shattering experience to find out later on, not only does it not work, but it is extremely emotionally destructive.

2) A Body Full of Ugly Scars

One has to wonder how many countless hours and schemes cutters use to hide their physical scars…permanent reminders of their tragic mistakes. Eddie started cutting when he was twelve. I thought it was for me to take all my anger and frustrations out on myself, but I noticed the scars it leaves will always remind me of my mistakes.

Sidney is 14 and has been cutting since she was nine. Those scars are there forever and every time I see them I’m going to be so sad about why I [cut].

Cutting is an ugly scar-giving enemy, who will constantly remind you of a dark past you don't want to remember. Click To Tweet

Not only are you left with scars for the rest of your life, it’s also very possible to get infections from cutting with something that is dirty or not sterile. It is also extremely possible to misjudge the depth of a cut, actually requiring stitches or even hospitalization. You can pass out or even bleed to death. You don’t want to die, I’m sure of that. Let’s face it, cutting is an ugly scar-giving enemy, who will constantly remind you of a dark past no one would want to repeat, or remember.

3) A Sick Web of Addiction

Most cutters never intend to become addicted to it. Liz said, for her, cutting was worse than drugs because she wanted to do it all the time. You don’t care where you are…it’s almost like you can’t go on without it.

Cutting can easily become a compulsive behavior, meaning the more you do it, the more you feel the need to do it. Your brain starts to connect the false sense of relief with cutting. The next time you feel the pressure building, your brain craves this relief. The urge to cut can seem too hard to resist. Your attempt to feel a sense of control over your life has ended up controlling you.

Cutting is an attempt to feel in control over your life, but ends up controlling you instead. Click To Tweet

JS commented about how all through high school she would try to stop, but then would go back to it shortly after. Then I would feel horrible when I finished cutting. The highs weren’t lasting as long and the crash was even worse. So I began cutting more, deeper, and more frequently. Being very interested in psychology I knew the chemical reasons, but I was already hooked and couldn’t stop.

You know I care about you very much…enough to tell you the truth. But let’s get down to it. If you are a cutter, it’s time for you step back and take a good look at what you’re doing to yourself. It’s time to tell yourself the truth. It’s also time to figure out how to resist your urge to cut.

Are you addicted to cutting?

Does the cutting actually help you deal with the emotional pain you’re going through, or does it just cover it up?
Do you feel more worthless and stupid the more scars you see on your body?
Are your friends worried about your cutting?
Do you spend large amounts of time trying to hide your cutting?
Have you told yourself you want to quit, but can’t?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, you or someone you know, needs to read, How to Quit Cutting for Good. It could be a life-changer.

If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

Resisting The Urge To Cut Yourself

by Dawson McAllister

In my blog How to Quit Cutting for Good I talked about 3 things to focus on to help you quit cutting: Talk it out, Wake up to your actual feelings, and Seek God.

Once you decide you’re committed to stop cutting, you will find out what a struggle it is to go sober and stay free from this horrible addiction.

Even as you are beginning to recover, you still will feel the cravings to cut again. You are going to need to be prepared to know how to deal with those powerful urges. Here are some practical ideas to help you or someone you know be set free.

Stop feeding the Cutting monster – wait it out

Every urge you have to cut will go away in time, but only if you don’t act on it. Each time you act on your urge to cut, you’re making that urge stronger kind of like feeding a monster. Each time you feed the addiction, the more likely you will feel the urge to cut the next time you feel the same emotional pressure. The more you stand against the urge, without giving in, the more your urges will decrease.
Stop feeding the cutting monster - wait it out! Click To Tweet

Distract yourself from the desire to cut

One of the best ways to let the urge to cut pass is by distracting yourself with someone or something else. This will allow the moment to pass when you’re feeling the deep cravings to cut, and get your mind off of it. It’s impossible for your mind to think about two things at the exact same time. Here are some ideas on how to do this..

Call a friend or meet them in person. Talk about what’s comfortable for you. The key is to keep talking.
Take a shower. This will help invigorate your body so physically it too is distracted. (Make sure there are no razors in the shower).
Exercise Walk, run, ride your bike, climb, swim, do yoga, etc. While you are exercising, your mind is more likely to think about something other than cutting.
Play with a pet. Take your dog for a walk.
Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.
Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.
Listen to positive music. It will definitely help to change your mood.
Write in your journal. Learn to express your feelings through writing.
Create art, or some kind of creative hobby.
Volunteer somewhere like a nursing home, or a hospital. In fact, getting a job will help as well. Some people cut out of sheer boredom.

Natalia put it this way: I still fight the urges, but the way I deal with it is by writing in my journal or talking to my best friend and boyfriend who are currently helping me through this.

Resist the urge to cut by distracting yourself with someone or something else. Click To Tweet

The point is: Find something else to do. If none of these ideas are possible at the moment, try finding a substitute for the cutting sensation.

Rub an ice cube on your skin, instead of cutting.
Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and snap it when you feel the urge.
Draw on your skin with a red marker or food coloring in the place you would normally cut.
Put temporary tattoos in the places you have the urge to cut.

Angel said rubber bands have helped her. I’ve learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Ali said the key for her was she needed something physical to feel like she was still alive, that she was OK. So I mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I don’t cut…and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible, and stopping is realistic.

Tell your story

The biggest problem with a cutting addiction is it forces you to focus on how YOU are feeling.

Stop thinking about yourself so much, and focus on other cutters who need your help.

The more you can reach out to others, encouraging them to find better ways to express their feelings, the better you will be able to resist your own urges. Courtney said: I’m proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self destructive behavior. Everyday is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.

Think About your Future without Cutting

You have an incredible life ahead of you, filled with many, many years of potential joy and time with people you love, and who love you as well. Think about what you’d like your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years, and start taking steps to move forward in that direction. Abby is 25, and she sees hope in her future: If I don’t quit cutting, then a lot of the things I want aren’t going to work out the way I dream they will.

Cyndal said: I thought about when I have children, and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, ‘Mommy what are those booboos on your arms?’ That really made me think, ‘WOW, what would I tell my children?’ And it made me cry for a really long time”

I want to encourage you to be strong like Amanda. She said: It’s a challenge everyday, but I am fighting to not cut, because I know that my life can be really awesome, and cutting does not fit into that picture. When you feel your emotions building up, remember you now have other options besides cutting.

Be strong. There is tremendous hope for you.

For more help on how to stop self-harming, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Self-Harm and Cutting.

Recovery from Addiction

by Dawson McAllister

Recovery from Addiction is Possible

In my blog Life At the End of The Trail we talked about what happens to people when they do not break the chains of their addiction. We talked about where they would be 25 years later. Now I want to talk about what you can do to experience recovery from addiction.

If you want to break the addiction in your life or know someone who does, this blog’s for you. Unfortunately, there are many people who never come to this point, and as they say in Narcotics Anonymous, these are the people who end up in jails, institutions, or dead. But to the fortunate ones who say, “I really want help.” There is help. There is hope. While it won’t be easy, the chains can be broken.

So how does someone break the chains of addiction? That’s a good question. Books have been written on it, but let’s give it a shot. Who knows? It might just change your life.

Want to break the chains of #addiction? It won’t be easy, but there is hope and help. @dawsonradio Click To Tweet

Step One: Come out of denial

What is denial? Denial is all the false beliefs our addictions hide behind. Like a living thing, an addiction will fight to stay alive. Its first line of defense is to remain hidden, so it constructs powerful arguments for why we are not addicted. How many times have you or someone you know who has an addiction come up with crazy statements to pretend they don’t have an addiction? For example:

I can quit anytime I want.
I just use my addiction when I want to.
My addiction isn’t hurting anybody anyway.
Oh well, it’s too late.
I can’t change anyway.
I’ll quit someday, but I’m having too much fun now.

These and other statements prove the addict has not yet come out of denial and is not yet ready to start the long journey to freedom. Allie put it really well: You must admit you have an addiction and then have the will to change it. You must understand that it will not be easy.(Allie) When somebody who’s addicted says, “I can’t go on like this; I will do whatever it takes to be set free,” then you know there is hope for that person.

For example, I received this comment from Kitty: Dawson, I have been struggling with an eating disorder for several years. I’m anorexic. I know that if I don’t quit, in 25 years, I will be dead.(Kitty) It would appear Kitty has faced the cold reality of her addiction. She seems serious in her willingness to change.

Step Two: Admit You Are Powerless

Just about every program teaches that the addict must admit they are powerless over their addiction. This is a difficult thing to do because many addictions make a person feel powerful while on the high. It’s humbling to say, “I cannot help myself by myself; I am powerless over this monster called addiction.” For many, they have spent years with the false belief they have all the power. It’s a huge step to come forward and admit to another person, “I am powerless over my addiction. I need help.” But it is the only way to begin the recovery process.

It takes a lot of humility to break free. And there is that old enemy called shame, always there, ready to discourage someone from going forward.

Step Three: Turn to God

The most well-known and used program that helps people overcome addictions is the 12 Step Program. Five of the twelve steps deal directly with one’s relationship with God. Only God can empower an addict to make the changes necessary for freedom. I received a very moving story from a guy named Dan. Once you have read his story, you will see how important a relationship with God can be:

I was addicted to sex for 25 years, since the very earliest experience. At the end, I had truly come to the end of my trail. I didn’t feel human anymore and I thought I’d never be able to feel enjoyment or sense beauty ever again. I had the stink of death on me, and I would have been happy just to die in the dessert away from humans and have my bones bleach in the sun. All the years of trying to quit and relapsing again and again accomplished nothing. I thought I was headed to Hell.

I drove all the way across the country. Halfway through Texas, I asked God what I was doing out there, and at that moment, I saw a sign in the middle of nowhere. It read: Trust Jesus.Well, I’ve been doing that ever since, and He’s real and true. He’s freed me from sexual addiction. He’s showed me that the Bible contains all that we need to know. Jesus is the one who came, not to break us or put out our little flame of life, but to set us free. (Dan)

Very few people have left God out of their recovery attempts and been successful.

Even a tiny bit of #faith in God will start a person down the road to #recovery. @dawsonradio Click To Tweet

Conclusion

To the person who is serious about breaking free from their addiction, whether it’s cutting, gambling, drugs, eating disorders, etc., there is hope. People all around the world are overcoming their addictions one day at a time and staying clean. You can too.

For more information on how to overcome your addiction, download TheHopeLine’s eBook:

Rage At God

This post was originally published on Heart Support, it has been reused with permission by: The Heart Support Team. Jake Luhrs, lead singer of Grammy-nominated metal band, August Burns Red, created Heart Support as a place where every music fan can heal and grow stronger.

“My rage at God had manifested itself in my everyday life.”

Depression. Anxiety. PTSD. Bipolar. All terms I have heard in the last year as people try to explain what’s wrong with me. I’m 21 and just now receiving the help I needed 6 years ago. I started cutting when I was 15. It was my way of controlling my world that was quickly spiraling downwards. When I started high school, I put so much of my self-worth in the people around me. I needed a boyfriend, and I wasn’t picky or cautious. A year into my first relationship, I was raped. I had that gift taken from me by someone I thought loved me. So here’s life knocking me down another notch, and the depression became accompanied by shame and guilt.

I learned to hide my cuts, and began to think that sex was no longer special. I jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend and the rampaging depression from everyone. When I was being used, I accepted it because it was the only way I felt like I meant anything. I was slowly losing my relationship with God. But I didn’t care because I felt abandoned.

I was slowly losing my relationship with God. But I didn’t care because I felt abandoned. #anger Click To Tweet

I was then violently raped by another boyfriend. At that point I felt completely alone. I still went to church because I ran sound for the band, and it was something I loved to do, but I wasn’t there for the right reasons. I still hadn’t learned my lesson with men, and entered an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship. I was forced to cut ties with my family and friends. I started suffering from anxiety attacks and could feel the suicidal thoughts start to become stronger. I finally got out of the relationship, but my depression was so severe that I couldn’t control my cutting and suicidal thoughts. I was angry. Angry at my situation, angry at him, but mostly angry at God. How could he let this happen to me? I entered counseling and was diagnosed with PTSD. When things weren’t getting better, I entered an outpatient day therapy program through the hospital. I refused God and his love because I couldn’t forgive myself and because I blamed him for my problems.

We're all deserving of the grace that he offers, including this imperfect, beaten down, abused me. Click To Tweet

Fast forward to now, almost a year later, with a DUI, drug habits, and a self-loathing that I couldn’t control, I finally called out for help. My rage at God had manifested itself in my everyday life and I became violent towards my family. I was at my breaking point and I couldn’t handle it on my own. I prayed and prayed for an answer to my problems and one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. God wasn’t the cause of my problems in life… I was. I had turned away from the one that loved me through all of my mistakes and had the grace I needed to accept. I find out soon if I have bipolar disorder, and I’m praying constantly for an answer along with the strength to accept God’s forgiveness and his unending love.

We are all deserving of the grace that he offers, including me. This imperfect, abused, and beat down person is deserving of grace. Deserving of love. And most importantly, forgiveness. Learning that lesson has been the hardest one to grasp in the midst of everything I’ve been dealing with. But we, as his children, need to ask for it before it can be given. Only then does He know that we are ready to receive it. So I pray not only for myself, but for everyone struggling in their life, to reach out and accept His grace and love, because YOU are worth it. YOU are deserving of it. And so am I.

In His name,
Taber

5 Things to Know About Door of Hope (Help for Self-Harm)

Director and Founder of Door of Hope 4 Teens and Young Adults, Debra Cornacchia, gives TheHopeLine an inside look at how they provide help for those struggling with self-harm.

Door of Hope Started from Debra’s Own Struggles with Self-Harm

Door of Hope was birthed out of founder, Debra’s emotional pain and her struggles. She had self-harmed from the age of 12 years old to 25. She said there was no one to tell back then. Her goal with starting Door of Hope is to give hope to people struggling with self-harm. Debra has recovered from her addiction, gone to college, and has a successful career and a wonderful family. She wants others who are struggling with self-harm to know that recovery is possible for them as well.

Debra started Door of Hope as a support group in her local church. They would meet once a week but no one was really showing up. Then teens and young adults started coming to the meetings from 2 and 3 hours away. She soon realized that people in the local neighborhood didn’t want to come out of fear, shame or being embarrassed because the people at the church would know who they were. So, that’s when she decided to create a website. And she wanted a way to be able to chat with people from all over the place so the texting hotline was started. Door of Hope may have started off in a church but now they are an international organization.

Door of Hope Helps Anyone Struggling with Doing or Even Thinking About Self-Harm

They deal with mostly with self-harm but along with self-harm comes eating disorders, depression, anxiety. You can get help from them even if you are thinking of self-harm and not actively even doing it.

Door of Hope Can Help You Stop Cutting

There is no quick fix to overcome the desire to self-harm. Debra says, “I wish I had a magic wand where I could just wave it over you and your problems would be gone but unfortunately that doesn’t work because cutting is so addictive. It takes time, recovery is not a race. Recovery is a process, it’s a journey. If they want to walk that journey out and take the tools that we give them to help them through that. Recovery can be absolutely obtained. A lot of people don’t think that people who struggle with cutting can ever stop cutting but the good news is that they absolutely can.”

There is no quick fix but recovery for #selfharm is possible! @doorofhope4teens #selfinjury Click To Tweet

Door of Hope tries to get to the root cause of why someone is cutting. They believe cutting is a symptom of far greater emotional issues, often stemming from trauma (physical abuse, sexual abuse, bullying) or feelings of neglect or low self-esteem. There are many things that can be at the root problem of self-harm.

Debra reads 2 letters from people who were helped by Door of Hope:

Door of Hope Believes Secrets Grow in the Dark

Door of Hope connects people locally…with faith-based organizations, therapists, guidance counselors or someone else who can help. They believe secrets grow in the dark. There is such a secret with self-harm that if you are not able to express it to anyone then you’re not going to get help. Door of Hope encourages the person struggling to reach out and tell someone they trust.

Door of Hope offers a texting hotline where you can contact them by texting anonymously 3 nights a week (Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday from 8:30 – 10:30pm ET). You can also call or email. And now they are offering recovery coaching where sessions are set up through Skype or FaceTime.

Door of Hope Focuses on Forgiving

Most people who are hurting themselves have been hurt by others. They help people to walk through the process of forgiving. It’s about giving the person a voice about what happened to them. They want to help them forgive the people who hurt them. A lot of people are bullied and very angry at the people who have bullied them so they turn to cutting because it releases that pain but forgiveness is so much better. Forgiveness is setting yourself free.

Forgiveness is setting yourself free. @doorofhope4eens #selfharm #selfinjury Click To Tweet

If you are struggling with self-harm, help is available! Debra sums up who Door of Hope is and what they can do to help if you are struggling with self-harm:

Door of Hope wants you to know it is confidential when you speak with them. They are not mandated reporters so they don’t have to report what you tell them.

Contact them:

Website – http://www.doorofhope4teens.org/

Call or text – 803.570.2061 or 914.393.1904 (Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday from 8:30 – 10:30pm ET)

For International Calls– 1.805.517.85779

Email – doorofhope4teens@gmail.com

Set up one-on-one personal recovery coaching – call or text Debra at 914.393.1904

Jasman’s Story: Self-Harm

Jasman’s Story:

When I was about 7 years old my parents got divorced, but as far back as I can remember they were always fighting and arguing. I started to self-harm when I was 12. I thought that there was no one out there who cared, knew what I was going through, even knew I was alive.

I was going through a hard break up, and instead of cutting like I normally would I decided to take a notebook and write in it. Now instead of cutting, I grab my notebook, and I write in it. One day I realized:

I have friends who care about me.
My mom and dad care about me.
My grandparent’s care about me.

I had a blade in my pocket one day, and a friend of mine emailed the school counselor, I got kind of upset at her, but then later that day, when I was home, I realized, that if she would not have emailed the school counselor, I would of cut myself really badly.

People out there care about you, even though you may not realize it.

I wrote this in one of my notebooks today, “Blades help me release the monster on the inside, they can cut deep, or they can just skim the skin, they have always been there through all the rough times, but what I didn’t realize is that so were my friends. I have friends that have always been there. They didn’t have to make a single scar on my body, like a blade, they helped let the monster out through my words, not my cuts. Cuts make scars, then people ask ‘How did you get those?’ then you have to make up some lie, so you do not get in trouble.”

People out there care, even though you may not think they do. #TheHopeLineCares Click To Tweet Blades help release the monster from within, friends help release the monster thru words, not cuts. Click To Tweet

From,

Jasman

If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

Struggles With Self-Harm

Self-harm stems from pain so deep it feels as if there is no other way to take away the emotional pain. Whether you have been abused, hurt, rejected, abandoned, or anything else that has caused you emotional trauma and you have turned to self-harm to cope…we are here for you. If you feel like you are alone in your struggles with self-harm…we are here for you. If you feel that you don’t know where to go to get help…we are here for you. If you feel that you are past the point of getting help…that simply isn’t true…we are here for you. Be encouraged by these girls that have battled (and still do) with cutting and self-harm but have found help and support through their struggle.

I Was About to Cut

I found TheHopeLine by accident, but I’m so glad I did. I have been through years of abuse and battle persistant depression. At my lowest point, the guy (HopeCoach) helped me fully vent, and gave me additional resources. They took the time to hear my story, without any judgement. Click To Tweet -Valorey

Relapse Was Knocking

I heard self-injury knocking at the door…it was the only thing that my anxiety stricken-mind could comprehend as the only way out, but my spirit knew the repercussions of relapsing. I spoke with a HopeCoach who helped me recognize the victory of my extended abstinence from self-injury and encouraged me to reach out to a trusted friend, despite my fear of being vulnerable and admitting that I wasn’t okay. I am blessed beyond measure for the reassurance and encouragement Click To Tweet for it was God who orchestrated the conversation and filled me with the courage to overcome what I thought would be a devastating victory for the enemy.” -Alyssa

My Depression and Cutting

For the longest time I was so depressed. I coped with it by cutting and just hurting myself in any way. My depression overcame me and I honestly wasn’t the same. I was never truly happy anymore. I never went out with friends and I never was okay again. The cutting would just get worse everyday. The urges to cut got stronger and stronger as each day went by. It was scary how depressed I was. But then I decided that I didn’t want to feel like this anymore. I talked to people about it. I saw a therapist and I contacted TheHopeLine. With having so much support, I felt like now I had hope in getting better and felt like I had a purpose. It was amazing how I can go from this depressed and anxious person, to a happy and free individual. Click To Tweet -Lila

Recovering

Hello, my name is Hannah. I am a teenager, we tend to be confusing and difficult to relate with. This may be due to the fact that everyone is different, which brings the topic of self harm, cutting, relief, or however else you may want to put it. Some people think that cutting is weird and what people who strive for attention do and others think its the only way to survive, a way to stay alive a way to feel. For me…cutting was attention to myself. I felt alone. Being alone is hard especially since they’re billions of people who live on this planet. So whether you believe that people do this to flash their scars online or to relive pain that been brewing inside. Cutting is something that people do. It can be considered a tragedy or a beckoning for hope. Click To Tweet

For me my silent cries were answered by the people I thought could never understand…my parents. It was the actual hardest thing to tell both of them. The second hardest when they asked how long this had been occurring. And the saddest thing to see them crying when I showed them all the scars I had. But it was the tangible help I received that became the most amazing thing to ever come out of my “problem.”

My personal advice is, I know how hard it can and will be to feel alone, to feel like everyone is all set without you, but cutting is a step that you don’t and shouldn’t have to take. Even if your parents aren’t a focal point for recovering, you have teachers, peers, TheHopeLine and even the police. Anyone can be your reason for feeling something other than nothingness, and you don't have to ruin the only thing that you have to live in - your body. Click To Tweet -Hannah

If you struggle with self-harm and want help, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook.

I Was Going to Self-Harm

Do You Struggle With Self-Harm Like Lucy?

Lucy wrote to us at TheHopeLine® about a chat she had with a HopeCoach.

I was about to self-harm and I didn’t know where to turn so I went on here (TheHopeLine.com/gethelp) and this girl, a HopeCoach named Emily, talked with me. I was going to cut myself that day and she talked me out of it. I was lucky that she was there because when I cut myself it was bad. I’m clean now and its all thanks to her.

A special thanks to Emily and TheHopeLine®!
-Lucy

If you or someone you know struggles with self-harm, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook: Understanding Self-Harm. You can also connect with our partners at Door of Hope. You are not alone.

I Feel Happier

Do You Want To Feel Happier?

“I feel happier!” I was just going to say, thank all of ya’ll for the help. Now, I’m not starving myself anymore, I’ve been eating more. Unfortunately, I haven’t gained any weight, but I feel better and have tons of energy. I’ve gotten my depression and anxiety under control, without drugs. I haven’t been suicidal anymore.

I have opened up more to my parents and been telling the truth. I have a better relationship with my parents, siblings, and to God. I have given God my problems now and I’ve been reading my Bible and praying daily and more to God. And, I’ve been clean from cutting for two days now.

I feel happier now and like my life is back on track. Thank you for all of the help 🙂

-Hannah

If you struggle with self-harm, depression, or an eating disorder, TheHopeLine® is here to help. Check out TheHopeLine’s eBooks and chat with a HopeCoach.

You Are Never Alone

Lidya Discovered She Is Never Alone: TheHopeLine® Is There For Her And You 24/7

Lidya shared with TheHopeLine® how important it is to know that you are never alone and that it is important to ask for help.

I’m 15 years old and talking on TheHopeLine® really helped me in terms of just getting to know God and myself better. I have struggled with people to the point I would get headaches and get overwhelmed and then would cry. I used to self-harm but God helped me come out of it. Now, I’m not shamed of my scars even if I feel like I need to be ashamed.

I pray and trust God. I know God is making me stronger everyday.

We all have challenge issues problems and really deep insecurities and scars but you are never ever ever ever alone.

And you can begin again in every area. I can begin again a thousand times if I have to because God makes me new in every area. I am new. I am healed and you can be too. Don’t ever be ashamed or even scared that people will know that your ashamed because God is there. I love myself no matter what and I hope this helps someone!

God bless YOU!
God bless me!
God bless all of us!

-Lidya

If you need to talk about some struggles in your life then chat with TheHopeLine: HERE. And if you or someone you know struggles with self-harm, check out our eBook about self-harm and cutting.

My Night Started With Cutting

I started my night by cutting.

The hallucinations in my head were taking over any thought I could possibly have of getting out of this situation alive. All I could hear were voices telling me to give up, about anger and hatred and constant ideas of death and suicide. I have been through hell since I turned 11 and I still sometimes think it will never end.

But tonight, I was shown the love of God by the HopeCoach I talked to. Even though it seems that no one understands my dangerous hallucinations, the coach was extremely compassionate as I explained my situation to her.

She helped me push those voices out of my head so I could focus on the truth: God is love and is protecting my life. I don’t have to be afraid anymore. Even though these voices will continue to attack my head, I can always remember that God is on my side. The voices are gone for tonight and I can finally sleep in peace.

Thank you HopeLine for taking the time to listen to my story and help me through one of the hardest nights of my life!

Kristin

If you or someone you know struggles with self-harm, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook: Understanding Self-Harm. You can also connect with our partners at Door of Hope. You are not alone.

Pain Inside I Couldn’t Deal With

The Deep Pain Inside Brianna

It started right before entering my senior year in high school. I was tired. Tired of people. Tired of my overbearing parents. Tired of sharing everything with my twin. Tired of life. I attempted suicide when I was at the tender age of 16. I totaled my car by hitting a pole at a whopping 50+ miles per hour. I flipped the car so high I knocked the top off the pole, crushed the passenger side, and somehow walked away with a few scratches. I was scared. I was upset, but I was alive.

Fast forward just a couple of months. Senior year has started, and nothing is going right. I continually ask myself why I failed. Why am I still here? I felt like a burden on my family. On my teachers. I worked hard in school, to an extent. I had to pretend I didn’t care a little. Otherwise they would all ask what was wrong with me. I still couldn’t cope. I watched my twin get everything I had worked three years for. Section leader in band, team captain on our varsity soccer team, she had the high school sweetheart, she was the thin one, the smart one. She had it all. I started to cut. It wasn’t for attention. It wasn’t for anyone to say, I am so sorry, as they looked away.

It was because there was a pain inside me I couldn’t deal with.

I was immature. Angry. I made it through Christmas barely. Over the break I got a cold, I started taking medicine. I found out I didn’t need much sleep on it. So I kept taking it. For months. Even after the cold had been long gone. I had a drug dependency. I didn’t need to sleep more than a couple hours a night. But I didn’t make a good use of my extra time. I cried a lot. When everyone was asleep. And I cut. At this point, I had a really bad attitude. A bad outlook on life. I hated everyone and everything. Because of that attitude, I didn’t step foot on the soccer field my entire senior year, despite starting on varsity since my freshman year. It was devastating.

I finally lost it and lashed out, not at a student, but at a teacher. When she confronted me, I broke down and told her I didn’t need her sympathy, that’s why I cut. For me, not anyone else. Here is where being a minor came into play… They told me parents. After watching my mother cry, they put me in therapy. Professional therapy. The counselor talked to me, asked me what was wrong and I told him all my grievances with the world. He asked what I did for fun. I had to say nothing. Nothing was fun anymore. I didn’t have my school, my sport, even my friends were gone at this point. All I had was cold medicine and scarred thighs.

During my final months of senior year, my final months of therapy, I found something out about myself. I was lost. I had strayed so far from God I didn’t know how to get back.

Here I was searching desperately for something to help me. To take away my loneliness, my pain. And He was right there. Waiting for me.

There were so many signs while I was struggling, but I was too angry to see them or take them for what they were. I reconnected with God. Got involved with my church. It took a long time, but I beat my drug dependency, I beat the need to be accepted by everyone around me, and I beat the need to self harm myself. I was accepted. Finally. I strayed throughout college, I don’t know many people who don’t honestly.. But I found my way back through an amazing man who I am now engaged to marry. I am in charge of a youth group, and we lead discussions about tough topics. Topics I have firsthand experience with. I also sing. I sing on Wednesdays, I sing on Sundays. I sing at work. In the car. Alone or surrounded by people. I lift God and I thank him every day for rescuing me from myself and the devil within me. I still fight sin. Daily. It’s still a struggle. But I am no longer alone. Praise Jesus for his love and grace. – Brianna

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

If you are struggling, you don’t have to struggle alone. TheHopeLine is here for you. Chat with us: HERE

(Video) What is an Email Mentor?

Listen to Chelsea’s story of how her email mentor saved her life.

Video Transcription: Hi, my name is Chelsea. I was dealing with so much when TheHopeLine and the email mentor helped me. I was cutting myself daily and I was seriously considering suicide. I was raped a few years prior and just had so many problems. When I was 15 I found out that I was pregnant and that’s when I remembered TheHopeLine and requested an email mentor. She was there for me through so much. Now my daughter is a happy one year old little girl. I believe TheHopeLine and my daughter saved my life. Thank you so much.

To touch the soul of another human being is to walk on sacred ground. Stephen R. Covey Click To Tweet

Email Mentors are available to offer you encouragement, advice, and a safe place to talk about any issue.

An Email Mentor will walk with you through whatever problem you are facing. The conversation is free, confidential and non-judgmental. You can keep talking to your mentor as long as you like and there is never a fee. Talking about ideas, decisions and fears is better than not talking about them. Sign up now on our get help page.

Dawson received this letter about how an email mentor made a difference,

“Hi Dawson, Jessica and Sarah! I just stopped by your page to say how your program and TheHopeLine has helped overcome an issue a year ago. I had a problem of the heart where yeah, I fell in love, and the other person just broke off and disappeared, without any proper message and whatnot. I didn’t know what to do, and was crying myself for weeks.
I suddenly remembered TheHopeLine, and took a chance on getting anything that could help me and make me feel better. I got connected to a mentor, which was very helpful, and sympathized well with me. He showed me how much he understands, and taught me how to slowly get rid of the heartbreak, as of course it’s not instant. He actually made me write the girl a letter saying goodbye, and then I sent it. It wasn’t the official end of the heartbreak, as it was still a long journey, but my mentor’s help made me feel a lot better, he made me feel I wasn’t alone. And most importantly, that God is with me.
After all this, I also discovered your radio show, and through it, I felt that I wasn’t alone, and there are people who can help me. I listened day in and day out, even when the radio show has looped already, haha! The show is just full of hope.
So yeah, thanks a million to your program, and the TheHopeLine. God has given this great gift to all of us, which reminds us that we’re not alone, and our problems are not to be carried alone. Dawson and to the gang, thank you so much.”

Our problems are not to be carried alone. Email Mentors offer you a safe place to talk. Click To Tweet

Taylor wrote to TheHopeLine to tell us how her email mentor helped her,

“I have been cutting as a result from depression and severe anxiety. I started when I was 15 years old, and I am now 19 years old. I have been on TheHopeLine for a few months now and I have to say that they have helped me through the hard times I have had. They connected me to two mentors and have made my connection with the Lord much stronger than ever before from the resources they sent me. I really appreciate the people who I chatted with. Thank you, HopeLine!!!!”

Sign up now for your own email mentor on our get help page!

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

For information on what to do if you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

Stay Strong

How She Was Able To Stay Strong

I was 18, fresh out of high school and in my first serious relationship. He was abusive and I was enamored. He cut me off from my friends, and I alienated my family. Things were emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive. I was devastated when he left.

I suffered from self harm and I couldn’t control the impulses to keep myself from cutting. I gained a lot of weight and I found my solace in my studies. I was eating, working, going to school, and barely sleeping.

I finally found God, talked to a counselor, and met an amazing man. He has helped me overcome a lot of my struggles by praying with and for me daily. Since then, I’ve lost almost 100 pounds, I have been free from self harm for more than a year and I just want to say it gets better. It seems bleak, but it can’t stay that way forever. Stay strong, be positive, and find God. He puts you through struggles and situations for a reason.

-Bridget

If you or someone you know struggles with self-harm, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook: Understanding Self-Harm. You can also connect with our partners at Door of Hope. You are not alone.

Suicide and Self Harm

Can You Relate to Marine’s Story of Suicide and Self-Harm?

Suicide and self-harm were struggles for Marine. See how she found help and hope.

I’m a French girl, I’m 13 and I’m the kind of person who has everything to be happy…good at school, great family, lot of travel. But I’ve found the way to be sad. It’s isn’t my fault you know, you can’t choose. I started cutting myself at 11 years old. I thought that the problem was someone, because at school I had a teacher, an incredible women who had everything to be a good person and a good teacher, this women was my french teacher. I became attached to her, not like a boyfriend but like a mom. I was so sad without her.

I’d like to say that HopeCoaches are very helpful!

When she realized that I was cutting myself she panicked and she avoided me. For almost a year I didn’t talk to her. Then in April, on the 10th, I had an appointment with her (and my psychologist and also the director of my school). We talked a lot about this. I was so scared. Now we begin slowly again to speak to each other. And now that this has ended I have absolutely no idea of the reason of my problems. And I think that’s the worst in my story: I don’t know so I can’t do anything.

I’ve talked many times to a HopeCoach, they helped me a lot, and even if it’s not over, I moved forward a lot thanks to them! 🙂

I don’t know if i’ll be the same girl later, but I know that some people really tried to help me and I think that’s the main thing. I can’t write a long message, because my English isn’t good enough so sorry about this. I’m still fighting to stay because i really would like to let go.

-Marine

I have slowly stopped cutting.

I have always been overweight and insecure. In the fifth grade I started cutting and I just couldn’t stop. It’s an addiction and I did it all the time. One day in the bathroom, when I was washing my hands, one of my “friends” saw my cuts and she asked what they were and if I did them. I told her I did them and she didn’t even care, all she said was “oh, okay.” So that just made me feel even more worthless, invisible, and suicidal.

When I had gotten home that day I went for a walk around my neighborhood and I got taken and raped. I tried yelling for help but he covered my mouth. I tried telling my dad but all he said was if someone did then you deserved it. He tied me down to his bed and hit me until I started bleeding then he raped me. When I said I was going to tell my teacher he said if I did then it would just be worse tomorrow. By that time I did everything to die or leave, after a while I went to a hospital for 3 months but then I had to go back to my abusive dad. No one would see me so I started sending dirty pictures to guys and girls to get attention.

One day I found this website and started talking to someone, a HopeCoach, and they told me I was worth it and needed help to get better. Since then I have slowly stopped cutting.

I am Whitney and that is my story.

If you are struggling with self-harm you can contact TheHopeLine HERE and check out our page of resources to help you because scars don’t have to last forever.

And if you don’t want to be that friend, the one that made Whitney feel worse, think about joining Dawson’s Tribe. By joining Dawson’s Tribe, you can be prepared to recognize a friend in trouble and then be able to help and guide your friend through their issues. You won’t necessarily have all the answers but you will at least be able to let them know you care and then point them in the right direction.

CLICK HERE to join The Tribe.

Self-Injury

I was cutting every day when I talked to a HopeCoach.

It was not a pretty sight. I was dragged down by anyone you could possibly think of. My father was a very abusive man. I would get hurt for just simply being in the same room as him. I attempted suicide and after my attempt was unsuccessful, I landed myself in the hospital. Because of the fact that I didn’t want to change, those 7 days were the absolute worse. I still had to come back to an abusive father. I had no hope in my heart, but I had hope in my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about what that HopeCoach said to me.

Could I actually be worth something?

That question thrived in me for the next 7 months, but I still couldn’t stop cutting, and I still wanted to die. So with the help of that same HopeCoach I was able to admit myself to the mental health unit of our local hospital again. This time with pure hope in mind. I wanted that recovery! Since that day, almost a year ago, I have been clean for self-injury and I have been thriving! I’m now the assistant with an organization that dedicates itself to helping young women be free from self-injury. See what a little hope can do! 🙂

-Colleen

Colleen got help from a HopeCoach as well as an organization TheHopeLine is partnered with called Door of Hope 4 Teens. Please read their guest blog to find out more information about them and what to do if you are a cutter:

A Door of Hope for Cutters

Also, for more help if you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

What to Do if You or a Friend is Self-Harming

This guest post on self-harm is written by Jes Balascio of My Broken Palace for Project Inspired

Perhaps you or a friend is self-harming or cutting. We understand how hard it can be to confront a problem like this. It’s like hiding a monster in your closet where you’re afraid to let it out, but in a weird way, you like having him there.

Kimberly Navarro, licensed therapist (LMFT), provides these insights about cutting:

It can feel good to have a release from all you’re holding in. Cutting can create a space for you to free the pain, frustration and fears without anyone knowing what is going on inside. Self-harm can momentarily quiet the really deep pain, too. Cutting can be a way to deal with whatever life throws at you. The thing is, there are some good and some harmful ways to deal, and cutting is a harmful one: It is destructive to your body, leads to shame and can even become an addiction. There are chemicals that get released when our bodies get hurt, and they have a calming effect. This can create a high’ when cutting, and so the chase begins: pursuing that feeling even though it never is quite as good as the first experience. There are times when you won’t have the words for your feelings/pain, but cutting is never the answer. You must find other ways that are not destructive.

Here are a few signs you might notice that one of your friends or family members is struggling with self-harm:

One of the most obvious signs is wearing a hoodie or long-sleeve shirt all the time, even when it’s scorching hot outside.
Another sign can be wearing lots of wristbands.
Cutting also goes hand in hand with emotional problems in general. So just notice their obvious mood changes, ask how they are doing and have real discussionsdon’t just keep it shallow.

It’s important to know:

Deep inside, many self-harmers want to be discovered. They often cut in obvious places hoping to get noticed. But they are torn because they are afraid of being shamed or potentially getting sent to a psych ward.
Most have friends who know but are sworn to secrecy, or have friends who struggle, too. The people who self-harm in complete secrecy and who cut in hidden places that would never have a chance for discovery typically are in more serious emotional distress.
As a friend, it’s important to follow your gut. If you think someone is in trouble, and they won’t talk to you about it, then they probably are; if they’re not ‘being themselves,’ then they may need help.

We strongly believe that one cannot be free of the harmful effects of society without accountability and a strong reliance on God. You or your friend won’t be cured of cutting until you address what’s hurting inside, and that will likely require the help of a professional who has a relationship with Jesus Christ and experience with people in similar situations to yours. You or your friend will need interventions before you’re free of this demon, be that from MyBrokenPalace.com, a local crisis center, a trusted therapist or a counselor. Whatever your choice, please do something now!

For additional help if you are struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

Help, My Friend Is Cutting

by Dawson McAllister

Help, my friend is cutting.

I have written many blogs on the subject of cutting. We’ve discussed what it is, why people do it, the consequences, and some possible solutions to the problem. But, today, I want to talk specifically to the friends of cutters.

This can be a hard subject to talk about and it can be a very sensitive subject to the cutter so it is important to keep the following things in mind when trying to help.

Someone recently wrote to me and asked: My friend is cutting. How can I get it into my best friend’s head that cutting is not good at all?

She’s right cutting is not good at all, and I appreciate her desire to help her friend. However, there isn’t a simple answer to this question. We can’t just throw out facts and figures and think a cutter is going to be instantly convinced to stop. As I wrote about in Why People Cut, cutters are usually covering up a deeper emotional pain.

Therefore, when talking to a friend about cutting here are some very important things to remember.

Do NOT come across as judgmental. You may not be aware of the personal struggle they are facing which has led to self-harm.
REALLY listen and seek to understand. Often someone who cuts feels like no one understands them. Do NOT be one more person that saysWhy would you do this to yourself? It doesn’t make any sense.Rather, ask some probing questions with a genuine desire to understand. Such as: Why do you think you cut yourself? Do you cut to cover up other pain? How do you feel after you cut? How do you feel the next day? Help them tell them tell their story…if they’re ready. You don’t need to have all the answers. Just listen!
Encourage your friend that you BELIEVE in them. Tell them you know they will have the strength to stop when they decide to and that you will support them however you can. Offer to be their accountability partner, if they want. You can be the person they call to distract themselves from cutting when the temptation arises.
Refer them to other resources on the subject of self-harm and read more about it yourself. We have created a link with many helpful resources available all in one convenient place. You could simply text or email your friend this link and say…”When you are ready…” or share it through social media (the buttons are provided on the resource page). You never know when sharing information could impact a life. TheHopeLine Resource Page
Most importantly PRAY for them. God is bigger than cutting!! He can help them overcome the addiction. Pray that God gives them the strength and desire they need to stop cutting and find HOPE.

Thanks for caring. You CAN make a difference in someone’s life.

For more information on how to help a friend struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

A Door of Hope for Cutters

Learn How Door of Hope Can Help You

Self-injury, also known as cutting is a deliberate injuring of the body which is usually done in secret and NOT for attention, but as a cry for help. However self-injury is a temporary fix to a deep rooted problem. Cutting brings release when dealing with overwhelming emotions. A destructive cycle of needing to cut yourself, followed by guilt and shame, becomes a cycle of addiction. Door of Hope offers a phone line and real help.

You are not what your scars reveal, you are worth much more!

A common reason for self-injury is to get relief from overwhelming emotions. Cutting is like a “silent scream” often trying to release feelings you cannot express with words. Emptiness, low self-esteem, fear, depression and anger are emotions you might be able to identify with. Research indicates a connection of self-injurious behavior with a history of trauma or abuse. This may include but not limited to sexual, physical, verbal abuse.

Where can I get help?

The team at Door of Hope 4 Teens believes that faith in God can begin to repair the damaged areas in your life. He will give you the strength to recover. Never lose hope…

Door of Hope is a safe place when you can begin your journey towards freedom. You are not alone in your struggle. They help teens all over the world. Recovery is a process and they can help you discover the person that you were meant to become. You can begin to move past your scars and start living a “new life.”

Their trained crisis care advocates will listen to your story and not judge you. They offer encouragement, resources and prayer as they help you learn new coping skills that are a healthy release and point you in the direction on the path that God has intended.

Its ok…you dont have to be religious to contact them. God is not mad at you! He wants you to be free from your emotional pain and through building your faith and know that you are not what your scars represent.

If your reading this, deep down you do want to stop cutting. Take a step towards your recovery and contact Door of Hope today. If you are 13 or over then contact them, they would love to chat with you. All conversations are kept confidential.

You can be set free…contact them today to get help. TEXT, CALL, OR EMAIL.

TEXT or CALL: 914.393.1904 or 615.746.7319

EMAIL: doorofhope4teens@gmail.com

Debra Cornacchia, founder of Door of Hope 4 Teens shares from her heart:

“My message to teens and young adults is that secrets grow in the dark. The light of Christ will bring truth and healing for your present and future. As a teen I struggled with depression, low self-esteem and self-injury. I had feelings of shame, guilt and anger and cutting provided a “quick fix” and became my best friend. I fell into a trap of the secret addiction of self-injury and believing in dark lies about myself and my future. Recovery is a process of change. I can celebrate that I have overcome self-injury and live a life of complete restoration. Now my life’s work is to encourage and guide youth in their recovery. Lets us help you realize that God will open the doors of hope and you can walk in the grace and freedom of self-harm. What he has done for me, he can do for you!”

“For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans of good and not of evil, plans to give you HOPE and a future.” –Jeremiah 29:11

For help with cutting and self-harm contact Door of Hope 4 Teens and check out TheHopeLine’s eBook, Understanding Self-Harm and Cutting.

Saved by Grace

Genevieve Was Saved By Grace

Dear TheHopeLine,

I just wanted to say thank you. I started connecting with you guys at TheHopeLine last year when I was struggling with self harm. I’ve been fighting the battle of depression and anxiety for a good four years now with two close incidents of ending of my life. I was saved by grace. This whole year has been recovery for me with both therapy and medicine. I was just reflecting a bit, and I’m just really thankful I was able to chat with a HopeCoach last year when I was too scared to reach out to anyone else. It honestly made such an impact and I’m so blessed. You guys are amazing!

God bless,

Genevieve

Update from Genevieve (about a year later):

Hi, After connecting with you guys again after a year since I had previous done so- it was exactly what I needed. You guys sent me the book, Cut about overcoming self harm and it was everything I needed to hear. While I do therapy, having that Christian resource with so many incredible tips and advice was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much!

Genevieve

Scars don’t have to last forever. Here is a page of resources to help those struggling with self-harm: thehopeline.com/selfharm-resources and you can find the book, Cut that Genevieve referred to.

Why Do People Cut Themselves?

by Dawson McAllister

Have You Wondered Why People Cut Themselves?

Most people cut to cover an even deeper emotional pain.

There is so much confusion around the horrific addiction of cutting. It’s hard for some people to understand why you, or someone you know, would repeatedly harm them self on purpose. With this blog series, I want to break through the confusion and help those who practice cutting as a way of life. I’ve heard a lot of people say, Why would anyone do such a thing as purposely cause pain to their bodies? So let’s begin to uncover the reasons why so many people cut themselves.

As I have talked with hundreds of cutters, one major reason emerges over and over again: Most people cut themselves to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. If you or anybody you know is cutting, please understand cutting is just a cruel symptom of something much deeper and painful going on inside.

An anonymous blogger put it this way: I used to cut because I felt like it was the only way to feel something other than the hurt and confusion and self-hate that was driving me insane. I would cut because I hated myself so much that I wanted to tear myself to pieces.

Most cutters’ ability to cope with life is overwhelmed by powerful emotions or extreme pressure that seem too intense to bear. Jenessa said she’s been a cutter for 7 years. I was sexually abused by someone very close to me. I started cutting because I always thought that what happened was my fault. I have never gotten over it so I used to cope with any problem I had by cutting. Taking it out on myself was so much easier than figuring out what to do emotionally.

When these emotions aren’t dealt with, tension builds up. Cutting can feel like a release of this tension. Rachel said cutting is a way for her to deal with her pain: It’s an escape from reality. No matter how temporary it is it’s a relief to escape all the pain.

Most cutters struggle to express their pain to others. Without the words or outlet to express their emotional pain, they give in to a short cut, a destructive physical expression toward them self. Laken said cutting is her first reaction when she feels disappointment or difficulty. When I fail a test, when I get in a fight, when I am called a mean name, or when anything bad happens the first thought is to cut. It is horrible and I always fall back on it.

The physical pain has a calming effect on her more agonizing emotional pain. Cutting is the treating of one pain with another. A cutter’s life is one of choices between one kind of pain or a much greater one. Amy said: It feels good when you have physical pain to take away from your emotional pain.

By harming yourself you never really are able to confront your deepest feelings. Click To Tweet

The problem with cutting, as with any addiction, is that by harming yourself you never really are able to confront your deepest feelings. Perhaps that is you. You are using cutting to try to cope with an even deeper emotional pain. It is hard to say no to something that feels so good. But in the end, cutting will fail you every time.

Don’t lose hope. There are healthy ways to deal with your emotions and to stop cutting for good.

Please continue to send me your stories. They are awesome and very helpful to me.

Check out these helpful resources on self-harm from TheHopeLine

If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

Meet Michaela Hatfield

Michaela Hatfield, a 16 year old Contemporary Christian Artist is making a difference.

Michaela Hatfield is a 16 year old Contemporary Christian Artist from Kingston, TN. She is currently signed to 3 Nails Artist Management. Her debut CD Unlockedis now out, and features a blend of contemporary and old time favorites, such as Long Black Train, How Great Thou Art, and Come Rest. Recently she hit number 2 on the Reverbnation charts for Christian Rock nationally. Growing up Michaela was not immune to the many issues teens face today. She experienced depression and cutting was her way of coping. Hear Michaela’s story and find out how she got help and is now helping others through her music.

Tell us about your struggles with self-harm. Why did you cut yourself?

It started out as just depression then that just kept getting worse and I started to feeling nothing, so much to the point where I would cut just to feel again. I hated everything about myself and I just didn’t care what happened to me. I didn’t want to live. I had low self-esteem, I hated the way I looked, and I hated living. I felt invisible and lifeless. I started getting depressed when a lot of my friends left and betrayed me. My family and I have been taking care of my Pappaw for quite awhile and having my “friends” do that didn’t help me any. I started having anxiety attacks, and my depression throughout the year just kept getting worse. Cutting was the only way I felt alive.

How did things in your life get better?

I would try to switch the negative with the positive, my whole mirror was filled with encouraging Bible verses and song lyrics, I tried to tell myself I was beautiful everyday in the mirror even though I didn’t believe it…at first. It may not sound like a lot but it did help. When I tried to cut myself the last time, I had hit rock bottom, I tried and tried and tried and no matter how hard I tried to cut myself, the blade wouldn’t work. I kept asking God where he was and if he was even there and that was my answer. After that night, I started putting my trust and faith in God for the first time, in a long time. And I started to feel again, I felt love and joy again, I could actually smile. Not the fake smile everyone saw. The mask was gone and the real me was there. My family helped me to keep going. When I wanted to end my life, they are what kept me going. I didn’t have friends at that point, I had family. I kept trying to hold onto what friends I thought I had, even when they betrayed me. I never realized that God was what I really needed and that being alone wasn’t all that bad. I felt free finally.

What message do you have for others out there that may be going through similar struggles that you had?

There is HOPE! It may seem dark now but the day will come again. Even in the night there is still a light that shines brightly till the break of day. You don’t have to fight whatever you’re dealing with alone, there are people who understand and are willing to help. All you have to do is reach out. TheHopeLine is a great resource and I wish I had known about TheHopeLine when I was in my situation.

What made you want to pursue a career as an artist?

I always sang, but I had stage fright. I still do, some days are worse than others but the kids and the people that come up to me afterwards are worth it. I’ve always wanted to inspire people to be kind and to go after their dreams even if they sound impossible. 🙂

Your voice has been compared with some big name artists, who do people say you sound like?

That’s a good question, people compare me to everything XD. I’ve been told I sound like Amy Lee, Alison Krauss, Patsy Cline, Shakira, Ozzy Osbourne ( just kidding on that last part XD). Maybe one day someone will tell their friend, “You sound like Michaela Hatfield.”

Where does your inspiration come from?

My Pappaw used to play a lot of bluegrass when I was little and he played a lot of instruments….guitar, fiddle, mandolin, and banjo. I know rock and bluegrass are pretty much opposites of each other but he got me interested in music in the first place, that and my dad, he has a pretty huge library of music, one of my first videos is of me singing, My Immortalby Evanescence at like 9 or 10 years old.

Where should we expect to see you in the near future?

North Carolina, New York, Ohio, the monster under the devils bed…LOL, just kidding XD. Your guess is about as good as mine. Wherever God wants to take me, that’s where I’ll go. 🙂

Visit Michaela on Social Media!

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/cmichaelahatfield

YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/MichaelaHatfieldBand

Website: Final Flight Band

Michaela is a strong supporter of The Purity Pledge, True Love Waits, and is a spokesperson for the NoSexMovement, as well as being a partner for TheHopeLine. She is on tour with The Restoration Tour brought by 3 Nails Artist Management.

Her favorite verse is: “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.” -Isaiah 40:31

If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

Resources for anyone struggling with self-harm…

She Struggled with Cutting and Anxiety

Taylor Shares Her Story of Cutting and Anxiety

Taylor was struggling with cutting and anxiety and depression. Thankfully she found TheHopeLine®.

I have been cutting as a result from depression and severe anxiety. I started when I was 15 years old, and I am now 19 years old. I have been on TheHopeLine.com for a few months now and I have to say that they have helped me through the hard times I have had.

They connected me to two mentors and have made my connection with the Lord much stronger than ever before from the resources they sent me. I really appreciate the people who I chatted with.

Thank you TheHopeLine®!!!

Taylor

For more on how to understand the causes of anxiety and social anxiety disorders and how to deal with them, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

How to Quit Cutting for Good

by Dawson McAllister

By learning new ways of dealing with your emotional pain, you will finally be able to give up this horribly destructive addiction.

Talking about self-harm and cutting is an issue that can be difficult to discuss, but it must be brought up. The more we try to hide the issue, the more power it has over our lives and the more difficult it is to break free.

There is a lie about cutting, and just about every addiction. That lie simply says: Cutting is your friend. Cutting is not your friend. It appears to offer you relief from the pain you’re feeling, and no doubt it does temporarily, but in the end it only leaves you feeling worse, yet craving for more. You’re stuck with a body full of scars, and a heart full of secrets. You probably feel like nobody really cares what’s going on inside of your head. And even if they did, you wouldn’t know the words to use to describe what you’re feeling.

Your feelings of pain which led you to cutting in the first place are real. But cutting is never going to give you the true relief you are looking for. It will only make things worse. If you want to quit cutting, you have to realize it’s not wrong to be in emotional pain. The problem is you’re trying to fix your emotional hurt with something that only causes more hurt. That’s why cutting doesn’t deliver on its false promise.

Is there a better way to fix the emotional hurt you are feeling? YES!!!!! By learning new ways of dealing with your emotional pain, you will finally be able to give up this horribly destructive addiction. So how do you do this?

1. Come out of hiding. This first step may be the hardest, but you need to tell someone about your cutting. Your secrets are only making matters worse. You can’t find the light while hiding in the dark. Cutters are hiders. Their closet, so to speak, is their safe haven. It’s time to come out. Find someone you can trust. A good place to start may be a doctor, a school counselor, a minister, a relative, or a friend. Jacqueline said this is what has helped her: Even if you are unsure when and how the pain started – TALK!!!!

You can't find the light while hiding in the dark. Cutters are hiders. Click To Tweet

This person will help you describe your pain, even if you don’t know what to say. As you start talking about your feelings in a safe environment you will learn new words you were afraid to use before. Such as: I’m angry, afraid, lonely, ugly, desperate, etc. Over time, you will sort through your intense feelings, heal past hurts, and find new ways to grow stronger and deal with life’s problems in healthy ways. Raven said this worked for her: I quit cutting [a year ago] and found that I didn’t need the pain anymore. I’ve gone to counseling for this past year and after talking out the true reason I was hurting myself, I found that I didn’t need to anymore.

2. Discover and break your pattern of cutting. What are the places, situations and people that trigger your desire to cut? These desires can seemingly come out of the blue. The fact of the matter is, those triggers unleash the craving in your mind to cut. Breaking the pattern of cutting, means learning how to recognize the triggers, and deal with them before you choose to hurt yourself. Your counselor will help you quickly think about how to redirect both your emotions and your cutting when a trigger occurs. In time, you will become an expert to the deep emotions that boil up inside of you, and scream that you medicate them by cutting. The earlier you recognize these emotions and what causes them, the easier it is to deal with them in a healthy way. The problems you are facing may not go away right away, but at least you will see more clearly on how to deal with them.

Recognize what triggers your self-harm and deal with the true issue before you hurt yourself. Click To Tweet

Ashley said: The sad part is, the things and reasons that were making me do this [cutting] have not stopped. So I wasted all that time hurting myself for no reason. While everyday is a challenge, everyday that I don’t harm myself, I’m one day closer to being fully recovered.

3. Seek God. For many of you, it will take a miracle for you to quit cutting. Miracles come from God. There is hope for you even if you think it will be impossible for you to quit your cruel cutting habit. It’s going to take a true spiritual transformation. Not only are you going to need to retrain your brain from thinking cutting is helping you, but you’re going to need to realize you are powerless, and in need of help. Only a deep, meaningful relationship with God can truly set you free. Instead of working on your addiction to cutting, it’s time to begin working on your relationship with God.

God made you and loves you more than you or I will ever know. He wants you to know Him, and He wants to help you overcome your addiction to cutting. God will give you the strength you need to do this. When you trust God to heal your deepest hurts and emotional pain, He will step in and start helping you turn your entire life around. One blogger anonymously wrote: I still fight the urge to hurt myself when things are hard. I still carry the scars. But I’ve learned that God heals, and that His love is a much better relief from the hurt. There is hope.

If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

So now that you’ve decided you want to quit cutting, how do you fight the urge when it comes up? That’s what I’m going to write about next week. Please share with me how you fight the urge to cut. I want to hear from you. Thank you.

More resources for those struggling right now…

What Happens To Your Body When You Cut?

by Dawson McAllister

How Pain Covers Pain

It seems that self-harm or cutting have become as popular as drugs or alcohol as a method to cover over pain. It also seems to be destroying lives in the same way as other addictions do. Hopefully that life is not yours. But if it is, help can be on the way. You don’t have to stay stuck in the vicious cycle of self-mutilation.

If you’re a cutter, you might think it’s helping you feel better about the deep emotional pain you feel. But the truth is: cutting is a counterfeit helper. It promises relief from the hurt you’re feeling, but it only ends up making the heartache even worse.

If your thumb hurts, it doesn’t make sense to cut off your foot. In the same way, making yourself bleed is no way to take care of your very real emotional and spiritual needs. Cutting yourself merely covers over the deeper emotional pain you’re feeling. But like every other addiction, it’s far too much medicine for the sickness, and will come back to haunt you.

Nonetheless, you or someone you know likely cuts for the benefits you get from it. In fact, as someone once said, for every thrill there is a chill. So let’s not deny, with cutting there is some kind of a thrill.

Cutting Triggers Your Body’s Chemistry

The body naturally produces a chemical compound called endorphins. Endorphins are released to help the body deal with pain and stress. In fact, endorphins cause an actual high designed to cover over real physical pain. And cutting causes real physical pain.

You might have heard of runners high? This is simply the release of endorphins into the bloodstream when someone puts their body through something extremely physically challenging. This high, or euphoria, is extremely addictive.

Much of the same thing happens when you cut. Your brain is flooded with endorphins, which gives you a rush, and a sense of calmness and relief that makes you feel like everything is ok. Some cutters claim the high can last up to 90 minutes, but what happens when that high wears off?

Sarah S. understands this chemical dependency, after being addicted to cutting for six years. Your body has its own pain management using hormones called endorphins. Endorphins manage physical pain, as well as emotional. When someone cuts, endorphins are released and helps [cover up] the emotional and physical pain. It will make you feel better for a few minutes and then you will crash again. Eventually your body will build a tolerance to it and you will have to cut deeper and/or more frequently and more cuts at one time to get the same effect as before.

So in the end, cutting is rather simple to explain.

It is using self-inflicted pain to get a high, in order to self-medicate an emotional pain with a temporary feel good. The problem is the feel good quickly can turn to a feel bad, or worse, to an addiction.

Megan says she got addicted to the physical high of cutting as an early teen. I started cutting in junior high because a girl who was cooler than me was doing it. I kept on doing it because it helped with my pain that I was having from school or my family, or later from my eating disorder. I’m 20 years old and I realize now that I cut for a bit of a high, but I don’t have that urge to feel that high anymore.

Megan doesn’t feel the urge to get the cutter’s high anymore. How did she stop? One thing I know for sure, she came face to face with the consequences of cutting.

So please, if you have overcome the addiction of cutting, let me know how you had the moment of clarity that changed everything for you when it comes to cutting.

If you are struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

Stories of Why People Cut Themselves?

by Dawson McAllister

Readers Shared Stories of Why They Cut Themselves

I received so many of your responses as to why you, or someone you know, cut themselves. I’m blown away. Thank you for taking the time to respond! I want to keep talking with you about as many reasons as I can find. Why am I doing this? Because helping you to understand why you do what you do, is a great way to start you down the road to recovery. And trust me, every cutter can recover.

The over-arching reason behind why people cut is this: If you are a cutter, you self-harm, causing pain to your body, to try to cover over an even deeper emotional pain. All cutters believe the physical pain they inflict upon themselves gives a temporary sense of relief from the intense emotional pain they are feeling. I want to uncover a few more reasons why people cut. But keep in mind, you or someone you know, always cuts for some kind of relief. So let’s begin.

People cut to release anger, without hurting anyone else.

Cutting can be a substitute for anger toward someone else (usually an authority figure). Many cutters admit to being in painful or abusive relationships. Most people in abusive relationships feel stuck, or imprisoned, in that relationship. They feel powerless, even though their rage and fear scream out to be released. Cutting gives them that sense of release.

Janet uses cutting to release her anger. Every time I get pushed in walls or thrown on the floor or chewed out for something I didn’t do, it makes me go to the bathroom where I keep my knife and I start cutting on my stomach and upper part of my legs so no one sees it. I wish I knew how to control this. Janet does not understand although cutting herself does give her a feeling of relief, it too, causes her to feel trapped all over again.

People cut to deal with abandonment and loneliness.

Many people cut because they feel so isolated, abandoned, and alone. If you are a cutter, there’s a good chance you are also a loner, and what you do is often in secret. You don’t feel like you fit in anywhere, and so you fit in to your own little world. Cutting brings some pleasure into that little world, giving a sense of purpose and something to do to feel better about your isolation or being rejected.

Ashley said she’s been a cutter for three years now. I cut myself to ease the pain I feel when I think of my dad. My dad left me on my 11th birthday. He did not say bye or I love you or see you soon nothing. So I began to cut my wrist. Then he came back on my 12th birthday drunk and then left two days later. About a week later I asked him why he left and he said he needed to drink. Then I cut myself everyday. Now I am 13 years old and I still cut myself over him.

Ashley is so lonely and feels so neglected by the man she loves the most. She feels she has no place to turn but to herself, and those fleeting moments of relief cutting offers her. Can you identify with Ashley? I promise you, you or someone you know, most certainly can. There is hope for you.

People who cut may have had a traumatic experience

Living through abuse, violence, or a disaster are all examples of a traumatic experience. Often, when someone has been through a disaster, they become emotionally numb, or shut their emotions down in order to avoid reliving the pain, over and over again. While that seems like a good idea, it is a huge mistake. We are not designed to be emotional zombies, or to be dead inside. In the end, the cutter desperately wants something to help them feel alive. Sadly, cutting may feel like a way of “waking up” from this sense of numbness and emotional death they have put upon themselves. That is why it is so hard for many cutters to turn away from cutting. When they self-mutilate, it’s the only time they really feel alive.

Cutting may make you feel alive for a moment, but in the end it delivers its own sense of deadness. Click To Tweet

Jennifer powerfully describes how she uses cutting to deal with her trauma. As you read her comments, ask yourself, is she describing me? Approximately nine years of continuous sexual abuse has left me with an irreversible impulse to destroy myself in whatever way possible. I hate myself for something that I couldn’t control, something that was not my fault, but I don’t persecute my abuser, only myself. The plethora of emotions are all turned inward. The scars on my arms are permanent tattoos of worthlessness and pain. I can’t cry anymore, so cutting does it for me.”

Amber said cutting is not about the physical abuse but the internal. I was molested once when I was younger and again when I was 16 on school property. I never turned the guy in and guilt about it drove me to cut even worse. I became addicted to the relief and escape cutting gave me from not having to feel so dead inside. Cutting may make you feel alive, for a while, but in the end, it delivers its own sense of deadness and worthlessness. In a sense the so-called cure becomes far greater than the sickness.

Other Reasons People Cut:

A lack of ability to express feelings
To feel in control
To cry out for help or get attention
Self-hate or they think they deserve it
Desperation
Because of other mental health problems

You might see yourself in one or many of these reasons. If you do I want you to know you can break free of your addiction. Don’t lose hope!

Please continue to tell me your stories. I am moved by your bravery. Musician Michaela Hatfield shared her story with TheHopeLine.

As you tell your story, you are coming out of your emotional hiding place and saying you don’t want these horrible feelings to have control over you any longer.

If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

Additional resources and help…

At The End of the Trail

by Dawson McAllister

Faces of Addiction at the End of the Trail

I used to do a lot of trail riding in the Colorado Rockies. From my log home, I would saddle up and have several trails to choose from. One trail was only a mile long. Another ten. And still another, twenty-five. But each trail one thing in common there was an end to it. Life is like that. There is an ending to it. I’ve done a lot of thinking about addictions these last few weeks. I’ve read a lot of stuff too.

I couldn’t help from thinking, Where do our addictions take us? What does someone who is addicted feel like or look like 25 years later or, at the end of their trail?It’s hard to think about these things when you are young because, when you’re young, 25 years seems like an eternity. Plus, when you have your youth, it’s easy to feel invincible, like nothing can hurt you (that’s why so many soldiers are 19 and not 40).

Where Addictions Lead

The wisest man in the Bible, King Solomon, said some awesome things about life. They are written in the Bible for us to read. He said for example, Don’t let the excitement of being young keep you from your Creator. At another time, the king was warning his son about sexual addiction. The king didn’t warn his son of the damage sexual addiction could do to him today, but what damage it would do to him over a long period of time:

So, my friend, listen closely;
don’t treat my words casually.
Keep your distance from such a woman;
absolutely stay out of her neighborhood.
You don’t want to squander your wonderful life,
to waste your precious life among the hardhearted.
Why should you allow strangers to take advantage of you?
Why be exploited by those who care nothing for you?
You don’t want to end your life full of regrets,
nothing but skin and bones,
Saying, Oh, why didn’t I do what they told me?
Why did I reject a disciplined life?
Why didn’t I listen to my mentors, or take my teachers seriously?
My life is ruined!
I haven’t one blessed thing to show for my life!'”

King Solomon painted a very graphic picture of where his son would be if he fell into the addiction trap.

Allure of Addictions

Somebody once said, The devil can paint a pretty picture too. That’s true, and so can every addiction. No addiction wants to paint the picture of a life at the end of the trail. But with your help, I have attempted to paint that very picture. Trust me, it is not a pretty one. You may be tempted to turn away. Please don’t. What you read from your own peers could save your life. So, the end of the trial does not have to be a horrible, deadly, bitter place for you, but a place of freedom and joy.

Every word you read from this point on is written by you and your peers.

Drugs

You know my mom has been addicted to marijuana 25 yrs or longer! Her life is horrible. She took my childhood because I had to raise my sister and has left me with a lot of guilt because I did a bad job. She’s very bitter about her life and her choices, and is extremely paranoid all the time. If you could see and live what I have, you would never try marijuana. After 25 years, she has ruined her life and affected everyone around her. She’s left me with emotional scares I don’t think will ever heal and that affect me in my everyday life. I can’t even have a healthy relationship now because I have no clue what that is. – Kelly

Gambling

I think that 25 years from now, someone who is addicted to gambling would be living on the street and have absolutely no money at all. People wouldn’t trust that person because they’ve been known to have a problem with gambling. They would end up on the street because they would probably use up all their money to go to the casino and play Mariah

Love Addiction

In 25 years, people that are addicted to relationships and or love will be emotionally drowned by their own needs and the real sad part of it is that they won’t even know it. They [will] live their whole life around the idea of always having to be in love. – Liz

Sex Addiction

25 years from now, a girl with a sex addiction could end up sitting in a room wondering how she is going to pay next month’s rent because after 25 years of prostitution, her body isn’t beautiful’ enough for the business. The future looks hopeless. Years of abuse and roller coasters of emotion have taken a toll on all forms of hope for something greater. The need to be loved and accepted is still unfulfilled despite the money making highs’ night after night after night. All sense of self worth, value, identity…disappeared long ago. The loneliness must be unbearable. – Sarah

Eating Disorders

I have had an eating disorder for 6 years, going on 7. I’ve lost: My friends, my family, my body, my mind, my sense of identity, my ability to think clearly, the ability to stay warm, the ability to not go a day without hating myself. I’ve lost my ability to know who I am, and my purpose in life other than to self-destruct. My eating disorder started as a way of coping. And I just thought, once I lost a little weight, once I was a little thinner, then I would be better. It would let me GO. IT HAS NOT LET ME GO!! I have become a liar and I hate myself everyday. Eating Disorders are hell, and knowing all this about myself, I am still an addict. I’m still sick. – Trisha

Cutting

I am a cutter, and I hate myself every time I do it again. In 25 years, my arms and legs could be full of scars. I want to work with children when I finish high school, and who is going to trust me with their children if they see the marks on my body? Who’s going to ask me for help and guidance with their children if they see what I did to myself? I will probably have lost a lot of friends. I will probably have a hard time getting a job anywhere. I’ll have to spend the rest of my life covering up my scarsPlus, I may accidentally cut myself in the wrong spot and bleed to deathif I don’t quit cutting, then a lot of the things I want aren’t going to work out the way I dream they will. Abby

Conclusion

There are so many things wrong with addictions. They take over your life. It never ends with just one addiction. Then you can’t stop lying to feed your addiction and other times you steal to get what you want (not need). You put your addiction first above anything else, including your friends, family, job, self respect and morals. Your addiction ends up causing you to hurt the people you love. You mess up your life and sometimes you can’t pull back. Pretty soon you’ll lose everything, accept your addiction. But by then, it’s not even worth it. – Jenna

Your friend,
Dawson