My Night Started with Cutting

Hi, my name is Kristin and this is my story:

The hallucinations in my head were taking over any thought I could possibly have of getting out of this situation alive. All I could hear were voices telling me to give up, about anger and hatred and constant ideas of death and suicide. I have been through hell since I turned 11 and I still sometimes think it will never end.

But tonight, I was shown the love of God by the Hope Coach I talked to. Even though it seems that no one understands my dangerous hallucinations, the coach was extremely compassionate as I explained my situation to her.

I Don't Have to Be Afraid Anymore

She helped me push those voices out of my head so I could focus on the truth: God is love and is protecting my life.  I don't have to be afraid anymore. Even though these voices will continue to attack my head, I can always remember that God is on my side. The voices are gone for tonight and I can finally sleep in peace.

Thank you HopeLine for taking the time to listen to my story and help me through one of the hardest nights of my life!

Resources for Self-Harm and Suicidal Thoughts:

We have a partnership with Door of Hope, an organization that specializes in helping people who self-harm. Door of Hope has crisis care advocates that provide free services via texting, email and phone. Please check them out - Door of Hope

When your suicidal thoughts start to run around in your mind, you can contact any one of the organizations listed here - Suicide Prevention Resources.

You also might benefit from reading how Amanda broke free from her struggle with self-harm - Breaking Free From Self-Harm

And please read this to remind yourself of reasons it is worthwhile to keep working at life -  Why Say No to Suicide

If you or a friend need support right now, please visit the suicide prevention resource page. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world.

TheHopeLine Team
For over 30 years, TheHopeLine has been helping students and young adults in crisis. Our team is made up of writers and mental health professionals who care deeply about helping others.
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5 comments on “My Night Started with Cutting”

  1. I sometimes play video games so long into the evening that I can't function the next day. It prevents me from getting a meaningful job. It doesn't help that when the Manager of McDonalds looks at my arms and sees my scars I don't know what to tell him. French Fry grease hurts, but when I splash it on my arms, I hope the scaring helps hide the scars from my cuts.
    My only solace lately has been to post messages on various forums like Reddit. Why does being what some people consider a "troll" substitute for cutting myself? I guess they both involve a bit of 'self loathing'.
    The worst night was when I found that Bernie Sanders lost to Hillary in the primaries. Cutting wasn't enough. I had to pour Tabasco sauce in afterwards. Slowly. One drop at a time and then rubbed it in deep.
    Is that normal?

  2. I cut before and I don't turn to my parents websites like this I had to talk to the last person I wanted to about this , my girlfriend I hated it she did to I can't help myself but within 4 months I've stopped and my scars are going

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