Suicide

Just a Bad Week or Depression? How to Tell the Difference

by Dawson McAllister

Life can be difficult and saddening. Whether you’re grieving, dealing with a tough relationship, or just feel like you have the blues, it’s easy to feel weighed down. I can remember many times when I felt isolated, ashamed, or lonely and had a tough time tracing it back to a specific cause.

Sometimes that feeling of heaviness can last for a while. But how do you know if you’re just having a bad week, or if there’s something more going on? What shifts our mental state from “feeling blue” to a depression diagnosis?

How do you know if you’re just having a bad week, or if there’s something more going on? #depression Click To Tweet

What are Your Symptoms?

First, it’s a good idea to know some specific clinical depression symptoms so you can be more aware of when you’re experiencing them.

Feeling sad, weepy, or empty (and often unable to explain it)
Significant weight loss or gain within the last month that seems unconnected to dieting
Insomnia or sleeping too much
Thoughts of death, dying, or suicide
Plans of suicide
Losing interest in or not enjoying your favorite activities
Irritability
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Feeling guilty without reason
Feeling worthless

Along with showing specific symptoms like these, people with diagnosed clinical depression experience them regardless of circumstances in their life.

If your symptoms are so strong that they negatively impact your life (your grades, your work performance, or your ability to get out of bed or get moving in the morning), it’s definitely time to seek help.

Another way to recognize that yours are depressive symptoms is knowing how often they occur, and how long they last.

If you’ve been experiencing 5 or more of these symptoms almost every day for 2 or more weeks, it may be time to visit a doctor for a mental health screening. Depending on your diagnosis and the severity of your symptoms, any of several solutions might be recommended.

Are You Depressed and Emotionally Exhausted? – EP 26

What are Your Options?

Talk Therapy: Discussing depression with a mentor, therapist or other mental health professional is a great way to understand why you feel the way you do and to make a plan for managing difficult thoughts and feelings.

Medication: Medication can help manage the physical side effects of depression and other mental illnesses. If you’re prescribed medication, it’s important to take it exactly as directed and not start (or stop) without a doctor’s supervision.

Nutrition and Exercise Plan: Sometimes what we eat and drink can affect our energy levels, which might impact depression symptoms. Your doctor or nutritionist can help you plan meals and snacks that work best for you.

Prayer and Meditation: Faith is a great way to remain strong and hopeful when struggling with depression.

Medication can help manage the physical side effects of #depression and other mental illnesses. #mentalhealth Click To Tweet

What’s the Next Step?

While everyone’s experience of depression is a little different, there’s always hope. You don’t have to receive a formal diagnosis to get support when feeling isolated, lonely, or sad.

Understanding depression is tough. But managing it (and living a healthy, happy life) is possible. Especially with people in your corner. We are here to support you, pray for you, and cheer you on every day. You can reach out; we’ll be here as soon as you do.

If you are struggling with depression, no matter the cause, to find out more and get help, check out our free eBook on Depression!

You Can Be Twenty-Five Percent Happier

by Dawson McAllister

Giving Thanks Increases Happiness

Let’s be honest. Sometimes life is really hard. We feel broken, lonely, shamed, hopeless. It’s hard to find the positive in anything. And why should we even bother to try? Everything is just messed up. But what if we made a point to find SOMETHING to be happy for. What would happen to us?

Trust me, I’ve had my share of trials. Did you know I have a son who was in a car accident in his early twenties and now lives in a nursing home because he had a traumatic brain injury? It’s sometimes hard to “look on the bright side.” I get it.

But here’s something to consider, research has proven that intentionally giving thanks for things in your life, even in the tough times, increases your happiness by twenty-five percent! Now tell me, who doesn’t want to be twenty-five percent happier?

Research Proves You Can Be 25% Happier

In a study done by Emmons and McCullough, they asked some of the participants to maintain a journal recording things for which they were grateful and a separate group of participants to record things they found annoying. When the results came back they found that participants in the group monitoring things for which they were grateful had significantly higher levels of well-being than the others. It turns out that practicing gratitude increases happiness, optimism, and satisfaction with your life by approximately 25%.

Thankfulness, even in the tough times, increases your happiness by 25%! #givethanks Click To Tweet

It makes sense. Whatever you wire your brain to focus on is going to directly impact how you feel. Emmons says. “When you express a feeling, you amplify it. When you express anger, you get angrier; when you express gratitude, you become more grateful.”

The Kindness Experiment

Practicing Gratitude

So how do you go about “practicing gratitude”? It could be as simple as making a point every day to stop and find at least one thing to be thankful for. And don’t convince yourself there isn’t even one thing to be thankful for because there always is. If you are choosing to not find even one thing, then you are essentially choosing unhappiness. That is your choice. But if you want to try to find happiness look around you.

Perhaps the thing you are thankful for is as simple as…

My favorite comfy sweats
That person who held the door for me when I was shopping
The warm shining sun
Singing with the radio
TheHopeLine

Here were some things I found to be thankful for in the midst of my heart ache for my son.

He receives great care and is loved by many
We can still share a laugh together
He often gives me a big thumbs up
I am still able to host my radio show which I love
And my list could go on…

Make a point every day to stop and find at least one thing to be thankful for. #givethanks Click To Tweet

These are a start. A start to training your brain to look for something good. I know it doesn’t make the bad go away, but your attitude will start to shift.

You can also practice gratitude by keeping a journal and documenting things to be thankful for. This is a great tool to go back and read when you are feeling down.

Further Research: Helping Others Increases Morale

The study also found that grateful people stop focusing so much on their pain and problems, and rather start to see how they can help others in distress. It is a great morale booster to take your eyes off your own problems and focus on helping others.

Great Morale Booster: Take your eyes off your own problems and focus on helping others. #helpinghand Click To Tweet

If you need some help to get started with how to give back, we’ve come up with a list of our Top 10 Ways to give back this Holiday season. Click here to view the list.

There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). God knew that life on earth wasn’t going to always be easy once sin came into the world, but he also knew long ago, what researchers have just recently proven…that if we continually give thanks through it all, we will make it through the tough times and find happiness.

What can it hurt? Give it a try. Give thanks!

Are You Depressed and Emotionally Exhausted? – EP 26

There Is Hope for Depression

Overwhelmed and Depressed

Have you noticed there are many people who struggle with deep emotional issues? They are often sad and miserable and can stay that way for months, even years. These people are depressed. Depression is described as a prolonged unexplained sadness which affects everyday life.

If you are depressed, you may feel trapped beneath emotions of overwhelming sadness and hopelessness. Maybe you lack the motivation, energy, and strength to face life’s many challenges. The good news is there are many people who have won this debilitating emotional battle.

Join me as I talk with Samantha, Melissa, and Cody each who are in some way seeking to cope with their depression. I’ll also speak with Dustin who is creatively reaching out to people he knows are depressed.

Are you depressed and emotionally exhausted? There is hope. @DawsonRadio #depression Click To Tweet

Emotionally Exhausted

Samantha is 17 and just transferred to a new school. She knows a few people but can’t play sports and feels she can’t be herself. She just reunited with her real dad and her step-father doesn’t know.

Most who are depressed are carrying too heavy of a load and over time become increasingly drained and weary. Because they are downhearted, it is difficult for them to identify what’s depleting their emotions. It’s like their emotional batteries are slowly but surely being drained.

Samantha has big issues draining life from her. She needs to identify and prioritize big things that are pulling her down. For example,

She transferred to a new high school. That would be a big adjustment for anyone, let alone someone at 17 and in their senior year.
She loves sports but can’t play them this year because she changed schools.
Changing schools would be more than enough but there’s more going on in her life. She just reunited with her birth dad and her step-father doesn’t know a thing about it.
To make matters more complicated, she doesn’t get along with her step-father. In fact, they hardly ever speak.
She feels it’s her against the whole family.

Samantha has been hit with a double whammy, a lot of stress at her new school, and family pressures at home. No one should have to face that kind of exhausting stress. Is it any wonder she’s depressed? Samantha needs to turn to God like she never has before. Only He can give her the energy she needs to face her challenges. My prayer for her is as she reaches out for help, God will replenish all she has lost and more. He said in Jeremiah 31:25: “For I will refresh the weary soul and replenish all who are weak.”

Depression Setbacks, Don’t Give Up

Melissa’s been dealing with depression for about 7 to 8 years now. She was getting better but now is going downhill, since her therapist was murdered.

In any situation, where a person needs to change, there will be setbacks and even major roadblocks. In Melissa’s case, she was starting to make progress. Her counselor was truly helping her but then shockingly, was murdered. Now, Melissa wants to give up and throw the progress she has made away. Melissa should ask herself what would her therapist, if he were alive today, advise her to do? No doubt would say, “Hang in there, don’t give up. If you were making progress before, you can make it again.”

It’s God, who can reach down in Melissa’s life and give her the strength to seek help once again. The Bible says, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5b My prayer for Melissa is although there have been tears, even weeping, joy will come into her life, the kind of joy only God can give.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. #Psalm30 #NeverGiveUp Click To Tweet

Worthless, Rejected and Depressed

Cody says he does alright fighting the depression back for a little while, but it always comes back. He’s felt a lot of rejection in his life. He first was rejected when he was 8 and his mom left him with his aunt. He doesn’t want to keep fighting and keep trying to prove he’s worth something to somebody. He’s tried to kill himself before, but his sister kept him from it 2 or 3 times.

As in Cody’s case, sometimes you get to the point, where you just have to hang on. You tell yourself, I’m not going to quit, no matter how hard it is.

Cody needs to give himself a break. He has a core belief that he’s worthless. He’s been blaming himself for this depression since he was a child. His mother, in her own dysfunction, helped drive that lies deeper into Cody’s heart by abandoning him when he was but 8 years old.

Feels Like He Doesn’t Belong

Now, after all this time, Cody feels like he doesn’t belong anywhere. Add to that heartbreaking issue, Cody also has financial problems which seem more than he can bear. He feels like a broken man and will need every bit of courage to overcome what has been pounded into him.

He already tried to kill himself and has thought about it a lot. Suicide is not the answer. Instead, may he find the victory over the dark clouds and may God touch his life and heal him.

King David cried out to God at moments of despair. He said, “Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me. I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched. My eyes fail, looking for my God.” (Psalm 69:1-3) “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Psalm 42:5)

There is hope! If you are depressed, there are people God has put around you who will help you!

There is hope! If you are depressed, there are people God has put around you who will help you! Click To Tweet

Letters Helped Others with Depression

I got the chance to talk to an amazing, inspirational guy, Dustin. Dustin’s friend lost her brother in a car accident, so Dustin wrote her what he calls, “feel better” letters. When she got depressed, she could read one of the letters and feel better. Dustin has now written over 100 encouragement letters for others dealing with depression.

Dustin has his own struggles. He’s been homebound for 6 years because he has Ehlers–Danlos Syndrome where the collagen breaks down in the body and the joints won’t hold together anymore. Instead of being bitter towards God about his own struggles, he’s reaching out to others. What a powerful example he is. People who are depressed and reach out to help others find a whole new energy.

Did Today’s Episode on Depression Get You Thinking?

Jesus Christ said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28)

I have to say it again. If you are depressed, there is hope!!! God is near to those who are crushed in spirit. He wants to heal your emotions. God wants to help you and He has put people around you to help you. Ask the Lord for help and strength and then look around and see who God has put in your life to help you. Also, check out our many resources for help with depression.

Resources for Help with Depression:

Check out my eBook: Understanding Depression.
Check out: Verses of Hope When Struggling with Depression.
Check out my blogs: Feelings of Depression, To Those Who Feel Worthless, and How Can I Find Hope?.
Need to talk to someone about how you are feeling, then: Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.
Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the ThePrayerZone.com and check it out.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
Dawson

My Best Friend’s Suicide Hurt Me

I Was Shook By My Best Friend’s Suicide

If anyone would have told me that you were going to come and leave so quickly from my life, I would have smacked them and called them a fool. We made it to 6 months. In those 6 months, you became my life. April, I have never met a more beautiful, bright, amazing and loving girl. You made me feel so far from alone. You made me feel like I mattered. You showed me the true definition of a best friend.

But you were always so sad. I tried to do anything I could to help you forget your troubles. We went out on dates, hung out everyday, went and spent nights at the barn with your horses. April, we did everything we thought best friends were supposed to do, but just when I thought you were the thing that saved me from me, I got the worst news…that you took your own life. My best friend’s suicide shook me to the core.

I Am Sorry I Couldn’t Save You

April, I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. You made me feel so much life where I thought I never would feel it again, you truly brought out the real me. I wasn’t afraid around you and you never judged me. I will not ever forget the last night I saw you. You called me and asked if I had a cigarette, and I saved my last one for us to share. When you came through my gate, your eyes were covered in tears. We sat and I hugged you and I told you we would get through this. That it was just another bump. You cried and told me that you couldn’t take it anymore, that you hurt too much. We talked for about an hour, I cleaned up your tears, and we said we loved each other. You told me you would call me in the morning.

I never got that call, but you did that a lot so I didn’t think much of it. Two days later I found out you overdosed. All I could think about was that I really wish I could have saved you. I wish I could have said something to change your mind. April, everyone says it was an accident, but I know the truth. You were so full of life, yet so broken inside. I wish you could have seen how loved you truly were.

To Survivors of Suicide Loss

My Best Friend’s Suicide Was a Whole Other Type of Hurt

Losing someone you love to suicide is a whole other type of hurt. I lost my first friend when I was 19, to a murder. That hurt me in ways I thought were impossible. But losing you, April, knowing you were in my arms hours before you decided to depart the earth, makes my heart feel in ways I never knew I could feel. We may have been friends for less than a year, but you were one of the most amazing friends I have ever had. April, you showed me what a real friend was and you showed me a true friend.

Suicide Doesn’t End the Pain

April, losing you made me realize that I may be sad and I may want to die sometime, but I now fully understand the meaning of, “suicide doesn’t end your pain, it only passes the pain on to the ones who love you”.

Reach Out and Talk to Someone About Your Thoughts of Suicide

My message to anyone reading this and thinking about killing yourself….never be afraid to reach out and talk to someone! People love you! You are more beautiful and amazing than you think and you do have a purpose!

Sincerely,

April’s Best Friend

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

Semicolon Tattoo Project [Video]

Your Story Isn’t Over Yet

Have you ever seen someone with a semicolon tattoo? Have you wondered what the message is? This video shares three people’s journey and the meaning behind the tattoo.

An author uses a semicolon when they could have ended the sentence, but chose not to. You are the author and you can choose to keep your story going.

The hope of the semicolon project is to raise awareness to suicide prevention and the stigma of mental health. The semicolon tattoo is used as a conversation piece.

Choose to keep going!

For more resources on the topic of suicide go to our Suicide Resource Page.

Worn – Tenth Avenue North [Video]

Is Life Wearing You Down?

“I’m tired, I’m worn. My heart is heavy from the work it takes to keep on breathing. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve let my hope fail. My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world. And I know that you can give me rest. So I cry out with all that I have left.”

These words from the song Worn by Tenth Avenue North resonate with so many. Hold on. You are not alone.

For more resources on the topic of suicide go to our Suicide Resource Page.

The Reason – Lacey Sturm [Video]

The Reason

This is one of our favorite songs by Lacey Sturm.

“All my life I searched for something to satisfy the longing in my heart. And everytime I come away emptier than before. And now I finally see the reason, cause I was made to be yours alone. You formed my heart with your own hands, but I just could not understand. If I gave you my life, I’d be healed by your grace. I was made for your love, but gave others your place.”

You too have a reason. This hope is yours as well!

For more resources on the topic of suicide go to our Suicide Resource Page.

Lacey Sturm’s Story In Her Own Words [Video]

When It’s All Too Much

Rocker Lacey Sturm, formerly the lead singer for the band FlyLeaf, planned to end her life by suicide when she was 16. Life was too heavy. She’d been hurt by too many people. And as an atheist, she just couldn’t find a reason to “do” life anymore.

But then she encountered someone who knew all her pain and loved her anyway. She found the hope to hang on.

For more resources on the topic of suicide go to our Suicide Resource Page.

Don’t Let Your Pain Go Unseen – [Video]

UnseenFilm.org

This Short Film is Sure to Leave an Impact

This 25 minute film is sure to impact you in some way and is well worth watching. It explores the unseen pain of depression. If you or someone you know struggles with depression or suicidal thinking, parts of this film may be very relatable for you. If you want to grow in compassion for those who struggle, you will receive a valuable perspective.

The film begins with Owen contemplating taking his own life and his grandfather discovering him.

Owen is overwhelmed with hopelessness and sadness. At one point he says, “It’s exhausting. The worst feeling ever. Not being honest about how you’re feeling. And then you feel like you just can’t do it anymore.”

Owen’s grandfather has his own grief he’s still dealing with, but he also has deep wisdom. He explains to Owen, “Whatever you feed will win the fight.” He tells him how you can feed your internal wolf of hope or the wolf of despair. You can believe the lies despair tells you… you have no worth and no one will miss you. Or you can believe the hope you are loved and are worth the fight. Feed the hope!

How to Help Someone Who Is Thinking About Suicide

The way the grandfather tries to help Owen is not perfect. This film is not a case study with step-by-step instructions on how to help someone who is suicidal. The grandfather has his own flaws and hang-ups, but he does involve himself in Owen’s life and attempt in his own way to help Owen. The film gives us a good starting point for talking about suicide and helping those who struggle.

We’d like to begin a discussion here and receive your input. We’d love for you to leave a comment and share your thoughts.

It’s frustrating the grandpa doesn’t ask Owen directly what he is feeling. Why didn’t he ask the question, “Are you thinking about harming yourself?” Research tells us that asking the suicide question isn’t going to make someone more suicidal or make them want to act on it. It actually helps them.

Also, the grandpa should have gotten him formal help in addition to throwing away the pills and telling him to come to lunch with him. It was good the grandfather chooses to stay with Owen, but it is also vital to highlight the importance of seeking help from a hospital, especially in an acute suicidal crisis.

Finally – the whole healing journey is not told here. Formal counseling in addition to informal support from family and friends is an important step in the process.

However, the power of the film stands in the message that you are not alone in your internal feelings of hopelessness. Share them with someone and you may be surprised what they have gone through themselves.

Unseen Film – Keep the Discussion Going

We’d love to keep this discussion going. Here are some questions to get you started:

If you were the grandfather what would you have done differently to help Owen?
Do you need to have all the answers to help someone?
What did the grandfather do well?
Why do you think the grandfather kept his secret for so long?
What was your biggest take away from the film?
Did you like the film? Why or why not?

For more discussion check out this Conversation Guide

Finding Hope

We can’t leave this discussion without also sharing there is tremendous hope in knowing that God is with us and has a plan for our lives. This hope gives us something to hold onto even when times are tough, and it helps us combat the lies of despair. We have the assurance that we are not alone, that we have worth and a purpose and that we are deeply loved by our heavenly Father. If you want that deep hope for yourself, please learn more by downloading this free eBook on Understanding Hope.

For additional information about Unseen and other resources, please go to www.unseenfilm.org

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. For a list of crisis centers around the world and additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

Your Scars Are Proof That God Heals

Do you often feel like a failure? This blog was originally published on Anthem of Hope, a non-profit dedicated to illuminating hope for those battling brokenness, depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicide and addiction.

Your scars are proof that God heals.

We live in a world that calls failure a weakness, and labels weakness a flaw. We are taught to mask the truth because, “it’s better if you keep your pain to yourself,” and that the best way to lead is from our strengths instead of our weakness. This is not the way to live, and I’d encourage you to do exactly the opposite.

If I can be honest, I think our world has built itself on a shallow and narrow foundation. The truth is that this foundation is ready to crack at any second. Our society doesn’t allow people the freedom to share their pains, their struggles or their hardships. These “dark times” have become surrounded by stigmas and kept quiet instead of being allowed to be spoken of freely. While I know this is just my opinion, I think I have a pretty valid point to stand upon.

1. “Crying is not allowed.”

2. “Keep your pain to yourself.”

3. “Don’t show your weaknesses.”

Our society doesn't allow people the freedom to share their pains, struggles or their hardships. Click To Tweet

There is hope.

These are things we’ve heard throughout life. And while many of us may try to shake off their weight, you’d be surprised to know how many people are haunted by these thoughts on a daily basis. I believe in a God of Grace, love, and second chances. And if it wasn’t for those divine qualities all working together, I can promise you that I wouldn’t be standing here today. I’ve been redeemed. No matter how dark and desolate your life is or was, there is hope and God can take your life to places you never thought imaginable. Every cut, bruise and broken bone can be mended and made new by the love of God.

Related Posts:

How Can I Find Hope?

We All Go Through Dark Times

To Those Who Feel Worthless

I am not proud of my past.

I’m not proud of my past, but I wear my scars on my sleeve because I am proud of who I’ve become in Christ. You should as well. These scars remind us that we can conquer all things and that healing is possible. There is nothing too broken for God. He can fix anything because he created everything, and that includes you.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”—2 Corinthians 5:17

My failures and mistakes are NOT my most treasured moments, but because of them I am now a living testimony of His redemption and grace. Guess what? So are you! Your story, your past, your suffering and pain, it can all be used as a testimony and story to help others.

Don’t hide your scars, wear them as proof that God heals. It's okay to not be okay. @JarridWilson Click To Tweet

Your story is His glory. Share it to the world. Don’t hide your scars, wear them as proof that God heals. It’s okay to not be okay.

—Anthem of Hope

Do you feel like the pain will never end?

Your future is amazing and we want to show you how you can find a lasting hope in knowing that you are loved and have a purpose! Download our free eBook, Understanding Hope, for help.

How Can I Find Hope?

by Dawson McAllister

LIFE.

It can be really, stinkin’ hard sometimes, right?

When your situation gets really tough…You just can’t find happiness anymore…Everything seems to be going against you…

What keeps you from just giving up?

HOPE.

Have you ever wondered, “How Can I Find Hope?”

Hope keeps you hanging on because it allows you to believe that:

Things will get better.
You have a purpose to fulfill.
There is a plan for your life.
You are cared for

But I would like to suggest that people are losing hope at alarming rates.

As the founder of TheHopeLine which has been around for 25 years, I’ve seen trends. While relationship issues with friends, dating, and parents used to be the number one thing people wanted to talk about…now it is self-worth issues, suicide, depression.

And statistically, we can look at national suicide rates and note that they are up significantly. The Centers for Disease Control recently released a report that shows that between 1999 and 2016 suicide rates went up by more than 30 percent in over half the states.

Why are we losing hope?

People are losing hope at alarming rates. But, why are we losing hope? @DawsonRadio Click To Tweet

5 Reasons for Losing Hope.

In my many conversations with teenagers and young adults, I hear variations of these five reasons over and over. I believe these statements capture some of the leading causes of hopelessness:

They have no experience receiving unconditional love which causes feelings of worthlessness.
Their identities are tied to changing circumstances and not a secure source, so they don’t know who they are.
Life is meaningless. They can’t find a purpose.
Intense feelings of being alone, rejected, abandoned…no one cares.
Inability to find anything to look forward to.

Do any of those describe you?

What Causes People to Feel so Lost?

Let’s consider the prevailing way people view the world in this moment. It’s often referred to as the postmodern worldview.

Perhaps this worldview can best be summarized with, “You do you.”

In some ways – I appreciate this saying – it allows people to be accepted for who they are without being judged harshly. “Be yourself.” There’s nothing wrong with that.

But on a deeper level, the message is, “You can believe whatever makes the most sense to you based on your life circumstances. There is no one truth. It’s all relative to your experiences.”

While this may sound good on the surface, the reality is it leaves a lot of people in a state of chaos.

Because what is true anymore and, well, what does work best for you?

When we are unstable without something solid to hold onto we start to lose our sense of self, our sense of purpose, our sense HOPE.

Related Posts:

6 Ways to Silence Shame

Ronnie’s Life Changing Decision

To Those Who Feel Worthless

Where do you start?

There are over 4,200 belief systems in the world today.

If any of them can be true…where do you start?

As you search for your own truth, you realize you are completely untethered. There is nothing to anchor yourself to. Especially if what you believe depends upon your circumstances because circumstances change. People in your life change. Everything is constantly moving. So if you are tying your identity and your belief system to your circumstances (even if that belief system is that you don’t believe in anything), what happens when your circumstances change?

You once again feel lost. Untethered.

So let me ask you a question that the postmodern worldview would appreciate…

How’s life working for YOU right now? How is what you believe or don’t believe working for you? Is it giving you hope? Do you feel secure? Is it helping you feel loved and cherished?

What Give Us Hope?

To match the 5 reasons people are losing hope that I mentioned above, I believe we have hope when:

We feel loved and valued.
We know who we are without a doubt.
Our purpose is clear.
We don’t feel abandoned.
Our future is bright.

How can we have this security?

Only one thing has consistently provided all of these things for me and that is my Christian faith. I am not talking about religion, but about my relationship with Jesus and my faith in Him.

Now you may decide to stop reading at this point. You may think that I am failing to give you practical advice. To which I say two things:

My practical advice for HOPE is to find unconditional love, a secure identity, a purpose, a community and a confident knowledge that your future is secure.
The only way I know how to find these things is through my faith. So I ask you, what kind of person would I be if I have found HOPE and I believe it is the ONE TRUTH that is UNCHANGING, and then I chose NOT to share it with you, would I be showing my genuine care and concern for you? If I kept this to myself when I believe it is the answer, would that be right?

So I hope you will keep reading because I really do genuinely care. If you are feeling hopeless, what do you have to lose?

I am going to briefly share how my faith has provided the above 5 things for me and how it gives me HOPE. For further detail, I hope you will download our free eBook, Understanding Hope.

You are Loved

My faith gives me the hope that I am loved by God. Always and forever. And so are you.

Even when you mess up. God loves you.

He created you and wants a relationship with you. The God of the universe thinks about you personally and wants the best for you. ALWAYS.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! (Psalm 139:17-18)

And when bad things happen, that is not what He wants. He still loves you.

In this sinful world, people are going to fail you. Even those who are supposed to love you unconditionally, they are going to let you down sometimes. They aren’t perfect. And if every time a person fails you, you in turn start to wonder if you are worthy of love. You will lose hope.

That is why knowing you are loved by God is an anchor of hope! You are loved no matter what!

You have Worth

Do you find yourself tying your identity and your worth to:

What you achieve · What you look like · Who approves of you · Mistakes of your past

As a Christian, your worth and your identity are no longer defined by what the world says about you but rather by who God says you are. In the Bible He says you are:

Chosen ·Accepted ·Treasured ·Beautiful ·Protected ·Able ·Complete ·Known· Overcomer ·Masterpiece ·Rescued ·Held

Once you believe in the God of the Bible, these promises are yours to claim.

There is such hope in knowing that nothing can change who God says you are. Your identity is secure.

You have a Purpose

The whole idea that life is a vapid hole without meaning goes away when you are a Christian.

God designed you uniquely and created you in His image. He wouldn’t waste his time if you had no reason for existing.

God created you because he wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to love you, and in return, be loved by you. He is a personal God. We are here to praise Him for how great He is! To live lives that honor and glorify our Holy creator.

One way we honor and glorify God is to love others and that is our other purpose. In the Bible, God tells us that the most important things for us to do are to love God with all our hearts and love the people around us just as much as we love ourselves. Your purpose then is to:

Love God … Love yourself … Love others

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matt 22:36-39)

Your purpose is to: Love God … Love yourself … Love others. #LoveGod #LoveOthers @DawsonRadio Click To Tweet

You are Not Alone

God promises to NEVER abandon his children.

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5&6)

When you take the leap of faith to believe, there will be times when God feels super close and times he feels farther away, but faith allows you to trust that God’s promises are always true. Even when you feel alone, you recognize that is just a feeling. God is still there.

Years of believing in God have proven this truth to me. There have been many times in my life where my circumstances would have made me feel hopeless and alone, but God has always been my anchor to hold onto in the storms. The knowledge that He is unchanging, unmovable, trustworthy and good allow me to have HOPE.

Knowledge God is unchanging, unmovable, trustworthy and good allow me to have #HOPE. @DawsonRadio Click To Tweet

Your Future is Amazing

Do you ever feel like you have nothing to look forward to? That the same despair you may be feeling now will always be with you?

By putting your faith and trust in Jesus Christ, your life is made new. You get a fresh start. You are forgiven, no matter what you’ve done. God will pour out mercy, peace, grace, blessings, and love on you. Your future is secure.

And once you have given your life to Christ, you can rest assured that, no matter what you face in this lifetime, you can look forward to eternal life in heaven.

And heaven…well, it’s going to be great! More beauty than we can comprehend. But even better is the pure joy we will have. There will be no more tears, no more pain, and no more death.

Is This Hope for You?

It is certainly available to you if you choose it.

If you desire this kind of hope, please download our free eBook on Understanding a Hope to learn more.

You can also visit our Get Help page to talk to someone about this.

Here’s the thing…. Christians still have problems. We still make mistakes. Bad things still happen.

Once sin came into the world, God never promised us life would be easy. However, God promises to overcome all of it, to love us always, and to never leave us.

Read this and see if you relate:

I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom.

That’s from the Bible – nothing much has changed in human feelings over thousands of years. Here is what the writer of that passage went on to say.

But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times. (Lamentations 3:19-26 MSG)

God provided hope to people then and still does today!

For more help with understanding hope and your purpose, download our free eBook!

Struggling with the Loss of My 14 Year Old Daughter

I Found Strength I Never Knew Existed

My name is Renee. My daughters name is Nevaeh. She died by suicide on December 5th, 2017. It’s been a struggle, that’s for sure. But with this struggle, I’ve found a strength within myself, I never knew existed.

On February 23, 2015, my daughter was hit by a truck on the highway going through our small town. She had a T.B.I (traumatic brain injury) and a broken neck. We spent almost 2 years helping her through her recovery. We struggled for resources. We were not offered the help that is out there by the doctor when we left the hospital and our school did not have the aid she needed for her core classes. They only had someone to help her walk around at gym time.

At this time, she was walking just fine but she was struggling with her core classes. She went from being a very bright girl who never had to try hard at school to this person she did not even know. She started to cut herself, and do risky things like: jumping out of my vehicle, meeting strangers online and inviting them to our house, and smoking weed every chance she got. I took her to the emergency room and they sent us home. The second time I had the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) bring her to the hospital, hoping it would get us listened too. I knew she was going to go through with it and that it was only a matter of time.

On November 12th, the RCMP took her in. They had found her close to the train tracks, where she told us she would take her life. She had over 100 cuts on her body from self-harm and they were not little scratches. She took a razor blade across her skin over and over again. The hospital called me after midnight to come get her. I cried and screamed at the woman and said my child is going to die if you do not keep her! She said if I was done, they could place her with children and family services. I was so angry, how dare she think I’m done. This is my baby my first born.

If One Person’s Life Can Be Saved, Then We Will Be Okay

I was afraid because I knew this was coming close to the end and we did not have a month to wait to have her seen. We were running out of time. I vowed to my daughter the day she died that I would make changes in her honor. I told her if one person’s life can be saved because she died then we will be okay!

I found your website today , and it was exactly what I was looking for. I am working with my family and friends to start a mental health suicide awareness campaign. Here is a rough copy of one of the tools we have been sent from heaven to help us cope. We have each put our own spin on it!

Suicide Prevention, Mental Health Awareness

A paper clip to hold things together while they are falling apart.
A rubber band to represent flexibility.
A coin to show your worth something.
A pencil to make your mark on the world.
A pompom to celebrate your accomplishments.
An eraser, to say that it’s okay to make mistakes.
A lifesaver for a time in need and a candy so you always know life is sweet!

In loving memory of Nevaeh Charette, May 25, 2003 – December 5, 2017

For Crisis Support:

If this is an emergency, please dial 911.
For Suicide prevention please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Or you can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741.
Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world.
For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

9 Misconceptions About Seeking Professional Counseling

by Dawson McAllister

We often hear a common concern……

“I’m afraid to see a professional counselor.”

Have you had this thought as well? Do you feel you may benefit from seeing a counselor, but face fears about scheduling an appointment?

Perhaps you have convinced yourself of many reasons why you shouldn’t go to counseling. A lot of these reasons may be seemingly understandable. However, more than likely, they are common misconceptions rooted in fear.

Today I want to address some of those myths because I see such value in talking to a counselor on an on-going basis.

I can talk to someone for 4 minutes on my radio show and our HopeCoaches can chat a bit longer on TheHopeLine. We definitely have enough time to point someone in the right direction, to love on them and to give them solid guidance and hope. And many times, that guidance includes encouraging someone to seek on-going counseling, especially for those deeper issues that you may be facing.

If you have considered seeing a professional counselor, but have talked yourself out of it because of unwarranted fears, I hope this information may make you more comfortable in seeking the help that you need.

One of our partner organizations is Centerstone. They are one of the nation’s largest not-for-profit providers of community-based behavioral health care. Below they share a list of common misconceptions about treatment that we are in turn sharing with you:

Common Misconceptions About Treatment:

If I need help, something must be wrong with me. I must be broken or abnormal.

Just like with physical illness, mental illness and addiction are medical problems. You wouldn’t say that someone who has cancer or the flu is broken. They need treatment just like someone with a mental illness or addiction.

No one will understand my problem. I don’t deserve help.

One in four American adults will experience a mental illness in their lifetime. That’s 25% of the population. There are many people who know what you are going through. You deserve to feel healthy and whole.

If I come in for an appointment, they will take me away.

Involuntary commitment is extremely rare, particularly at first appointments. Just like a physician’s office, there are occasionally people who need to be taken to the ER. But most folks just go in for their regular treatment.

They’ll put me on pills that will put me in a fog, and I’ll never be able to stop taking them.

As with physical illnesses, some mental health disorders will require short- or long-term medication regimens. It can be an important part of treatment, but it should never make you feel like you’re not yourself or in control. You have a say in these treatments.

If I just try harder, I won’t need treatment.

Mental health and substance abuse treatment is for people who have an illness that deserves treatment, just as much as any other illness. It can’t be cured by trying harder or ignoring the problem.

People will think less of me if I go to a therapist.

Thankfully, we are at a point in time where a lot of people are speaking out about their mental illness and a lot is being done to combat the stigma surrounding it. And while you may be encouraged to talk to your loved ones and community members about your illness, a counselor respects their clients’ privacy. They will never reveal you receive treatment without your express permission. In fact, they can’t; it’s the law!

Therapy is just a lot of talking; I can get the help I need from my friends.

While a strong support system of friends and family is very important, there are things that we can help you with that your loved ones might not be able to. Our clinicians have extensive training and experience so they know all the tricky ways that your mental illness can trip you up and how to overcome your hurdles.

If I get treatment, I’ll have to keep going forever.

A counselor’s goal is always to get you back into your community as quickly as possible. While some patients may need long-term treatment, many individuals just need a few weeks or months to deal with their problem.

I can’t afford it.

Most insurance providers will cover some form of mental health treatment; it may be less expensive than you think. For those without insurance or those whose insurance doesn’t cover mental health treatment, you should inquire about programs set up to help provide funds to those who need assistance.
(Resource: https://centerstone.org/what-to-expect/common-misconceptions )

Live Your Best Life

If you are struggling with a serious issue such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, self-harm and many more, please love yourself enough to consider the option of counseling. Don’t dismiss the idea because of one of these misconceptions listed above. You do deserve to live your best life and you can achieve it. Sometimes we all just need a little help.

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. They provide for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

Schalk’s Story: The Buildup of Emotional Strain

I Only Ever Loved One Woman

The heartbreak broke me completely and so badly that I went and did drugs, something I was against completely. Before she left me and after she left me, I died inside and I tried to take my life a few times after we broke up. Yes I know, you don’t want to hear this sob story but at the end you will receive a message out of all this.

December 1st last year, I worked at a bar as a barman to calm me down and get me off drugs. It worked wonders because I started to think less of the things that brought my life into a downward spiral. On the 15th of that month, I was arrested for drinking and driving. I never spent any time in jail that night because I did cocaine to numb the pain inside of me just before I got pulled over.

A Buildup of Emotional Strain that I’d Been Fighting

After that, on the 25th of December on Christmas, I was sitting home alone finishing bottle after bottle of whiskey and bags of cocaine. I started thinking about everything that had led up to this moment. I was thinking about all the pain, all the memories that contributed to why I was there in that moment. In a rage of depression, grief, and a buildup of emotional strain that I’d been fighting and hiding away, along with my feelings of being a failure and of not being able to be the person people always thought of me.

My Moment at a World’s View

Indecisively, I took a bottle of whiskey and my gun. I got in my car and went up to world’s view, a place where I normally go to clear my mind that over looks the city. The reason I went up there was to finally do it and end my pain, end my suffering and release myself from the darkness. I wanted to stop the constant memories that were eating away at myself. I sat there until 2am, when I finally built up enough courage and drank enough whiskey to do it. I took the gun, cocked it and with the barrel in my mouth I had a moment of release, knowing that soon, all the pain would be gone and I pulled the trigger.

I pulled the trigger 3 times after that, then pointed the gun away from me and pulled the trigger again. A shot went off and then, the gun went in my mouth again and nothing happened again when I pulled the trigger. I cried profusely for hours, asking, why am I such a failure? Why must I go and carry on when there is nothing for me? I cried and cried that I couldn’t even think of anything. I walked from where I was sitting towards the end of the wall. I tried one last time, but this time I made sure that the bullet was a live round as I pulled the trigger. I hoped this was going to be my release from this hell I was going through, as I heard the click of the gun, something came over me…a sense, a feeling that I can never explain to this day. I was in a paralysis state standing there.

The Most Beautiful Sunrise I’d Ever Seen

Then not thinking about anything until 6am, the moment the sun broke through the clouds and it shined straight onto my skin, that was the moment I realized, it was the most beautiful sunrise I’d ever seen in my entire 26 year’s. The moment that happened, I promised myself no matter what happens in life, no matter how down I was, or how badly I was hurting, there would be another sunrise, another chance of giving, another chance to showing humanity and another chance to change someone’s life without wanting anything back.

I only wanted to receive the gift we all take for granted, the smallest yet most powerful gift anyone can ever give, a glimmer of hope, a smile. The smiles of those people you passed in the mall or anywhere, that single smile of hope they gave when they look at you. It doesn’t matter what the reasons are behind the smile, someone took time to look at you and acknowledge your existence. It’s that single smile that plays a big role on your own happiness.

The smallest yet most powerful gift anyone can give is a glimmer of hope...a smile. Click To Tweet

Giving People Hope

Hence why now, a year later to be exact, l have been happy when I was meant to be sad. I knew my sadness would not help anyone, not even me cope with life but my constant happiness and joy in finding the smallest things in life does help people. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good or bad thing in my life, I still stay positive. I want to give people hope to carry on, no matter what they are going through. I have not been left alone by certain aspects of my depression and I have not found clearance in my life but I have found a way to use my depression to help others. It doesn’t matter what they are going through, I am always there to reassure them that there is something great in everything. I tell them the truth. I’m honest with them even though sometimes I can’t even tell myself the truth or help myself with my own depression. I just think about the people I am helping and that with every person I help, I saved them from going through the same pain I went through.

I Listen and Believe in Them Without Judging

They don’t ask for help but I can see when someone is feeling down and out and like there is no way out because I myself suffer from the same condition. I know for a fact that after tonight, you won’t wake up thinking the same negative things. Yes, they will still roam around in your mind but then when they do, just remember the small things in life, they are the biggest blessing you will receive. For me, it is seeing those lost and broken souls that are now healed by a simple act of caring and kindness and encouraging words. When someone needs someone to believe in them and listen to them with out judging and I do that and they smile.

I live a life with depression, but I am not afraid of it anymore, I embrace it to help others. Click To Tweet

Even though, I can’t do it for myself, doesn’t mean I must not try and do it for other’s. My motto in life now is something I tell everyone: I don’t judge a person I observe them. And by observation, I can help where I can and bring smiles back into a person’s life. And that is the biggest gift I have received…being able to do things for people. That’s my story of how my near suicide attempt brought me to accept my past and help other’s who are suffering with depression. I hope some where out in this world my story will give hope to someone and save them.

-Schalk

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

All photo credits: Erik Lucatero

The Stigma of Masculinity and Depression

by Dawson McAllister

I’m a Man

“I’m a man, so I’ve got to be _______________________. ”

(Fill in the blank)

What word came to mind?

Strong
Brave
Self-Sufficient
Powerful
In control

As a man, I know these are the types of words that pop into my head. This idea that we need to be a “man’s man” and all that.

But I know I’ve hit lows in my life where I didn’t feel so strong or brave. Where I thought I should be able to hold it together, but truthfully I needed help. Even admitting that is tough for me. Am I being too vulnerable? Will I be seen as weak? Our culture seems to send a message to men…don’t reveal too much…don’t “give in” to any discomfort you may be feeling.

I think it is very common for men to feel weak at times, but we try our best to hide it. Many men struggle with depression or anxiety…they don’t feel strong or like they can do it on their own any longer? I know this because I’ve talked to some of the bravest of these men…the ones that struggle with these things, but had enough courage to call me on my radio show to ask for help.

One young man faced this battle and finally decided to reach out to TheHopeLine for help. After he talked with a HopeCoach, he shared the following story.

Have you ever felt Ashamed?

This is Coy’s Story:

My life began to feel so heavy and dark inside. I knew it was outside input from the enemy but eventually I just started to believe the lie. I was a worthless father, husband and provider for my family. My new job hadn’t panned out the way I thought it would and left my family of six with a $500 a month pay cut. Over the course of 6 months, we had fallen behind on rent, other bills and it just started to tailspin. Everyday at work, I would contemplate and try to just build up the courage to walk out onto the highway in front of a semi. Too proud to ask for help, too much of a coward to take the easy way out.

I would dare say that these are feelings many men have…they want to provide for their families and when they are struggling to provide in the way they want to, they feel worthless, and yet they are too proud or scared to ask for help. However, reaching out for help made all the difference for Coy and saved his life. Read the rest of the story here: Coy’s Stor

The Tension Between Being Masculine and Depressed

The push and the pull between being masculine and depressed is a fight many guys engage in. Blogger, Charlie Scaturro, in his blog Masculinty, Anxiety and Depression. shares his battle. In it he says, “There’s something particularly emasculating about depression. About feeling like there’s no point in being alive and that everything is hopeless and ridiculous. If I were stronger, the narrative goes, I would be able to stop myself from feeling this way…

A real man isn’t supposed to get depressed. A real man is supposed to get angry.

A real man isn’t supposed to have anxiety and panic attacks. A real man is supposed to fight through anxiety and panic attacks and stop being such a you-know-what….

And this reality can lead to a desperate and harmful struggle to avoid whatever the opposite of power and strength and masculinity are. It can lead to denial and a refusal to get help or tell anyone about what’s going on because of the fear that it isn’t masculine.”

The push and the pull between being #masculine and #depressed is a fight many guys engage in. Click To Tweet

The Vicious Cycle

You’re a man.
You feel you’re supposed to be strong, courageous, self-sufficient, etc.
In reality, you are depressed and questioning your purpose? Struggling to get out of bed. Feeling debilitated.
You don’t tell anyone because you believe you are supposed to be strong enough to conquer this on your own and you don’t want others to see you as weak.
The depression causes you to have suicidal thoughts, but you don’t dare reach out for help.

Masculinity as a Possible Suicide Risk Factor

To begin with, here are some suicide statistics from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention:

Men die by suicide 3.5x more often than women.
White males accounted for 7 of 10 suicides in 2015.

A new study published in Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology on Masculinity and Suicide found that, “one characteristic of dominant masculinity—self-reliance—stood out as a risk factor for suicidal thinking.”

The study went on to say, “Men who are self-reliant may believe that they should be strong in the face of any adversity, consider that feeling down is a sign of weakness, and be unlikely to reach out to friends, family or professional sources for help.”

Men die by #suicide 3.5 times more than women. #Masculinity is a possible suicide risk factor. Click To Tweet

Related Blogs:

Why Say No To Suicide

What to Do When You Feel Suicidal

Feelings of Depression

You’re a Man. You’re also human.

You are a man, but you are also a human made to experience all kinds of emotions. If you are struggling with life, feeling you don’t measure up, struggling with depression or thoughts of suicide, worrying you are not financially stable enough…those are not things that make you weak they are emotions that make you human. It is possible to be both masculine and depressed. By acknowledging this and then finding the courage to share what you are feeling with another person is how you will find help and healing.

In our society, for the most part, men are emotionally isolated from other men. I don’t know of many platforms where men can be vulnerable with one another. But I think it would be a move in the right direction to start these conversations and create safe groups for men to talk. It can start with you being willing to share a struggle with a friend. You may discover they have felt the same way.

You're a man and also human made to experience all kinds of emotions. #masculinity #depression Click To Tweet

If you don’t have a friend you feel you can talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out to TheHopeLine Chat for help. Our HopeCoaches will never judge you. Rather they will encourage you and provide you with resources that can help. You do NOT have to do this alone. Sometimes the biggest sign of strength is having the courage to say you need help.

September 10, 2017 is World Suicide Prevention Day. is The website states: “As members of communities, it is our responsibility to look out for those who may be struggling, check in with them, and encourage them to tell their story in their own way and at their own pace. Offering a gentle word of support and listening in a non-judgemental way can make all the difference.”

In the News

Unfortunately, there have been a number of tragic suicides recently of rock stars and other famous men whose public persona appears strong and masculine. Yet behind this public image they must have struggled with some difficult private battles.

Thankfully, mainstream media is also working to spread the message of hope. The rapper, Logic, has a song titled, 1-800-273-8255 which is the phone number to the National Suicide Prevention LifeLine.

Here’s a verse from the song:

I know where you been, where you are, where you goin’

I know you’re the reason I believe in life

What’s the day without a little night?

I’m just tryna shed a little light

It can be hard

It can be so hard

But you gotta live right now

You got everything to give right now.

Know Your Worth

You do have something to give to this world. I believe God created you for a purpose and that he has a plan for your life. Don’t give up on that too soon. Don’t quit before you find out what that purpose is and what joy may lie ahead. Come just as you are, flaws and all, and ask God to help you. He loves you so much! God says in the Bible, “The thief’s (satan’s) purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich a nd satisfying life.”

If you have questions about this, please chat with a HopeCoach.

If you or a friend is struggling – What Now?

Remember that you are not alone in what you are feeling.
If you need to talk, call 800-273-TALK (8255) for free, confidential, 24/7 help.
Get help for yourself https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/
Get help for someone else https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-someone-else/
If you are outside of the US, please visit info https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/ to find resources in your area.
Verses of Hope for those facing Depression
Verses of Hope for those struggling with Self-Worth
Verses of Hope for those thinking about Suicide

If you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, find out what to do in TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

Madylon’s Story: My Life Has Been an Emotional Roller Coaster

My life from day one has been an emotional roller coaster. I have had many up and downs…mostly downs.

My mom is a drug addict. I had to live with her. I have been yelled at, screamed at, called worthless and almost every other name in the book. I have been beaten, molested, sold, forgotten, left, homeless, starving, dying. I have wanted to kill myself for a long time. After many years, my dad finally thought it was a good idea to get me away from my mom.

I now suffer from extreme depression, anxiety, and PTSD. My dad tonight, yelled at me and I had a freak attack. My dad isn’t nice and neither is my stepmom so we fight often, but tonight it hit me and I wanted to do anything to leave this Earth right now. I wanted to stop being a disappointment, but then I got on this site…TheHopeLine.com. I talked to someone, and told my story and it kind of made me feel better…like that I shouldn’t give up.

Thanks,
Madylon

Don’t give up, there’s hope for a better tomorrow. If you are having struggles in your life and dealing with depression, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook to find help.

What People Are Saying About Dawson McAllister & TheHopeLine®

What is TheHopeLine? Who is Dawson McAllister? We are best defined by the people who we have helped. Here are their stories..with their heartbreak, and their victories expressed. These are some of the amazing thank you’s we’ve received from people who have come to us in their time of need. We are honored and blessed to have been a small part of their lives…giving love, encouragement, advice, guidance, and hope when all else seemed lost.

People Are Saying…

Fighting With My Sister…

“Seven years ago my older sister and I got into a big fight. I didn’t talk to her for a long time. Then about 5 months ago, I was listening to Dawson’s talk show and he helped me. Dawson was talking to someone else about the same situation that my older sister and I had. Well, that helped me because Dawson said to forgive and move forward. And so my sister and I made up. So thank you so much Dawson.” – Sierra

Suicidal…

“My life was saved tonight, thanks to a HopeCoach who selflessly listened to me and helped me find the strength within myself to keep going. I was ready to end my life, had last all hope in any redemption. Without this service I would be gone. Thank you for saving my life, for supporting me when I had nobody else to turn to and for showing me that there is hope for me. This is an amazing service that has the power to move mountains. Thank you.” – Jenna

Feeling alone…

“I was feeling totally and utterly alone tonight, so alone that I didn’t want to be here anymore. I had an online chat with Kelsey and honestly she couldn’t of helped me more! I got that attached, I didn’t want to stop talking!! haha Sometimes, you feel like all life is doom and gloom but you’ve just got to find out what you’re good at and show people what you can do, and do something you love! I’m super happy now and although actions still need to be took to get me back on track, after speaking the Kelsey at TheHopeLine, I already feel one step closer to happiness!” – Emily

I’m 39 now, I will never forget…

“Hello! Yes, it has been a long time since hearing Dawson McAllister but he was placed on my heart. I would tune in when I was in high school. I struggled with bulimia, cutting and lived in an abusive environment. There is hope!! I am free from bulimia and cutting. I have forgiven those who have abused me…and one of them I dearly love! There is hope!!” – Katey

Parent’s Divorce…

“My parents divorced in 2008 and it impacted me a lot. I was really attached to my dad and not having him around has really affected me. I was listening to the radio on a Sunday night and I happened upon Dawson McAllister. I thought it was wonderful and decided that I would try it [TheHopeLine], so I did, and I feel wonderful! Thank you Hope Line!!!!” – Isabell

I used to want to kill myself...

Dawson, thank you…

“Hi, I’m Hannah. I was about 10 when I turned my local radio station on for the night and I heard the show. I heard it once, but I didn’t turn it on again until I was about 13. That was a horrible time in my life, and it honestly only got worse, but with listening to your show and listening to what other people were going through and the advice that was given to other people, you helped me to feel a lot better about myself and who I was becoming. I felt like a bad person before. I still do sometimes, but now I listen to the show every Sunday night and it is a great start to my week. So, thank you.” – Hannah

Child Abuse…

“When I was 3 years old, my parents divorced. Now that I’m getting older I have to pick sides. When I was 12, I chose to live with my mom because my dad threatened me. Now I am 13 and being abused in a way my parents don’t see. They think everything is okay. In the way I see it, it’s hard and it’s a struggle. I have tried to commit suicide once and now a year after, I have decided to get help. I got on here and talked to one of the HopeCoaches. I chatted with Bay, she talked me through everything. She listened to me and even suggested that I call the Childhelp. These people really helped me and is helping me to change my life. Thank you!” – Tia

While I Was in Prison…

“Dawson, I just wanted to tell you that I listened to your radio program while I was in prison. I was 20 years old when I committed my crime. When I listened to the young people’s stories, I heard so much of my own problems that lead me to prison. Your advice was good and I was glad to know you are a believer. I served 19 years in prison. I used that time to get an education and take classes that helped me better my thinking and behavior. Most of all, God got a hold of me and transformed my life. Keep doing what you do, Dawson. Had I heard your program sooner, it might have kept me from making the bad choices I did. I’m 40 years old and starting my life over, its not easy, but I have a whole different attitude and perspective now. Praise God! May you be blessed.” – Sherry Ann

Diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety…

“I was going through a lot. I was going through getting diagnosed with depression and anxiety. It was very rough, I wanted to die. I felt like I had no one that cared about me at all. Then I realized there was people out there who cared and might have no clue who you are. The people on TheHopeLine were people who did not even know about me but they still cared about me and how I felt. Now, I know that if I need someone they are always here for me and I get a different person every time but they still try to understand what is going on.” – Cassady

Helpful and Encouraging…

“I have used TheHopeLine chat. The people I talked to were helpful and encouraged me. God loves me and you too!” – Kimberly

Battling with Depression…

“I was getting really low, and I was starting to think about suicide more and more every day and then I started listening to Dawson. I heard how there were so many other people like me out there and the words of advice that Dawson shared with them, it felt like he was sharing with me. I took what he said to those people to heart and I got some help. My life has gotten so much better! I have a girlfriend now and i have an awesome relationship with my parents. Thanks Dawson for the second Chance at Life! you truly are the grace of God!” – Damion

I was raped...

Hopelessness…

“I am older and perhaps not the intended user for the TheHopeLine. But I brought my sorrows here several times and I was startled by the quick response, patience of the coaches, and generosity of spirit. I would like to encourage all young people, whatever issues that challenge you to reach out to your fellow spiritual beings that share this world with you. You will see, most of all, that you are not alone. And from my age perspective, you can survive almost anything with a brighter future to be yours.” – Tony

I Felt Like I Wanted to Cheat…

“I started my relationship with a girl and it’s not a bad relationship. All of a sudden, I started getting an urge to start kissing random female’s on the street, but then I found TheHopeLine and started chatting with someone. Now, I am back to normal and loving my girl like no tomorrow. We are now happily married and we have decided to explore the world together as a pair while coming back to our small apartment in the UK every once in a while.” – John

Frustrating Relationship…

“I was very frustrated with my relationship. HopeCoaches helped me to calm down and attack the problem instead of each other. After a long conversation, I felt great and was ready to make it work with my girlfriend. I just want to say thanks!” – Cedrick

Depression…

“For the past couple weeks, I was depressed and I did not talk to anyone about it. Then I decided to talk to a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine and they were very helpful. When they helped me out I could feel the depression and anger leaving me and now I feel better than I did before.” – Austin

Bullied…

“I signed up for this thinking it was just going to be a website where you get told advice that you have been given before. But I was wrong. They offered me sites to go on and advice that helps. Now I am more happy and can deal with things a lot better!” – Zack

I Felt Like Ending It…

“I felt very low. Just to say a big thank you to Dawson McAllister on the telephone today as I am in a bad way and he understood and gave me some good resources and guidance that should hopefully help me in the future. Bless TheHopeLine! Hope is Here.” – Unknown

If you have a story to share about how you were helped by Dawson McAllister or TheHopeLine, submit your story here!

How Her Pain Turned Into Something Beautiful

Cam’s Story: Her Pain Turned Into Something Beautiful

We have partnered again with Vlogsters to introduce Camille Paddock to you. She’s been through a lot! She was bullied to the point where she considered taking her own life. Thankfully, she did not. She decided to use the challenges she faced for positive change. She started her own online anti-bullying community through Facebook, called Cam’s Dare to be Different where she could reach out to other people dealing with bullying and give them a place to vent and find hope. She advocates for anti-bullying, suicide prevention and “just being who you are.”

Check out Cam’s Story, brought to you by Vlogsters:

In 4th grade, Camille was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called Alopecia Areata, it caused her to lose her hair (including her eyebrows) which resulted in bullying from people at her school. It got worse in middle school. They called her names; like, freak, hairless cat, ugly, told her she was worthless. Then they started calling her names online, texting and calling her and saying horrible things. Camille fell into a deep depression that led to self-harm and thoughts of suicide. She asked God, “Why, is this happening to me?” She explains,

Suicide seemed like the only solution.

Then she wrote her suicide note. She was at home alone and had a bottle of pills ready to take. Then the garage door opened and she heard her sister come into the house. Her sister felt like something was wrong and that she needed to come home. She asked Camille, “Are you, okay?” and it hit Camille…she couldn’t leave her family in that way. Camille decided she couldn’t go through with suicide. She wanted to get better but she didn’t know how. Camille then decided to start a Facebook page, Cam’s Dare to Be Different because she knows everyone has something about them that makes them different. On her page, she shared her story, vented, shared inspiring quotes and stories that helped her so that they could help and inspire others.

Everyone has something about them that makes them different. #daretobedifferent Click To Tweet

People started reaching out to her and it began the healing process for her. She was a cheerleader at the time and the cheer gym asked her to share her story with a cheer team that was struggling with bullying, teasing, and bickering. It was really hard for her to speak in front of those cheerleaders but as she finished telling her story, she looked up and everyone had tears in their eyes. It hit her that she had the ability and power to do something good. All of the pain and hurt she went through could be used for something beautiful. The more she spoke at schools and events, the better she felt about herself because not only was she helping people but they were helping her to heal.

All of the pain and hurt can be used for something beautiful. #somethingbeautiful Click To Tweet

Have you been through something similar to Camille? Is there a way you can use the pain and hurt you’ve experienced and turn it into something beautiful? Let us know in the comments!

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

Connect:

Cam’s Facebook page

Vlogster’s YouTube Channel

Vlogster’s Facebook page

For more information on bullying, here’s a guide to understanding the types of bullying and cyberbullying and how to deal with it.

Adeline’s Story: “I Wrote a Suicide Note”

Every morning, I would wake up and ask myself, “Will I make it through today without crying?” One day, I got fed up with it all. With my sadness, with being ignored, everything. I wrote a suicide note, prepared to take my life. That’s when everything flashed before my eyes. I should talk to someone, I thought.

I found this website, and was prepared to wait in a long line to speak to someone. As soon as I clicked the, “Chat now!” button, someone spoke to me. For the first time in a few years, someone spoke to me. I told them everything. They told me what I could do to help myself, and they prayed with me. I told them as soon as the chat was done, “Please know that you have saved a life.” I would have taken my own life if it hadn’t been for this. I made a deal with them. If I ever needed to talk, I would come on here, and talk, in exchange for them helping more and more people.

Thank you for the experience that I had. I know that suicide is not a thing to play around with, but from experience, it’s something that can be stopped. Keep helping people!

Adeline

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. For a list of crisis centers around the world and additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

Have you gotten close to writing a suicide note? Do you have thoughts that you are not sure if you can make it through one more day? TheHopeLine has a free eBook for you.

Life is Worth Fighting For

The Enemy is Fighting to Defeat You

Written by: Lama-Leah

If you were not on this earth, life for everyone else who is still here would never be the same. If you are struggling with knowing your true value, continue to read.

Last week I was at a coffee shop with the intention to write but I made a friend. They shared their wisdom about life with me. This person shared parts of their testimony. Despite having a HARD life, they choose to remain positive. I shared about the first time that Satan had a spirit of death and suicide over me.

How they responded to me is prevalent to anyone who has/is struggled with suicidal thoughts/actions. I was told,

The enemy did/does not want you here because he knows how special you are, what you have done and are going to do here on this earth for the glory of God.

That statement in itself has so much truth in it. If I had died the first time I desperately wanted to, I would not have been able to make the small mark on the world that I have made. I wouldn’t have the honor of helping those whom I have gotten the chance to help, and Lama Leah wouldn’t be what it has been becoming and my thoughts and wisdom would not have reached around the world. In my wildest dreams I never thought that my life would change for the better, but against my contrary belief, it did! I have been able to do some things and help some people that I would have never have thought was possible.

The Enemy is intimidated by those who are going to do great things for the kingdom! When he sees something great that comes from God his instincts are to destroy it and prevent it from doing its work. The most rewarding thing that you can do is overcome the devil through the blood of Christ.

When I personally choose to fight for life, my depression did not end nor was I always content with my decision. In the small moments of hope that’s when I knew that it was worth it. For me, it was giving a friend a hug who is hurting, snuggles with my dog, drinking peppermint tea, late nights focused on art projects, and writing a blog post that others enjoy or learn from. These are the small moments when even depression is at its peak and living seems unbearable, but life is worth fighting for.

In the small moments of hope that’s when I knew that it was worth it. #youmatter Click To Tweet

If you die from suicide you are taking the mark that you have put on the world and making it significantly lighter because if you continue to live the possibilities that you have to make your mark are endless. The world will absolutely never be the same without you because you bring something unique and individual to the world. If you are suicidal, I am truly begging you to give this life another chance. Life may not become better now but it can and will change eventually. God could be allowing you to go through this season as an opportunity to grow. Maybe God will use the season that you are in now and saving the wisdom that you gained from it for a different season. I promise you that choosing life will be worth it!

The world will absolutely never be the same without you! #youmatter #suicideprevention Click To Tweet

Two years ago, in the car, when my best friend was pleading for me to fight, she told me this, “You can’t commit suicide, think about how great the day when you are able to say ‘I made it through this hell and look where I am now.’ Things can only get better from here.” What she said was true. If you are suicidal from a bully in your life (any kind of bully, a physical person, depression, current life circumstances, the DEVIL, etc.), how will you be able to prove them wrong if you’re not alive to do so? From my experience, the rewarding part of various struggles in life is when you can overcome them.

Those who have the hardest life become the strongest people. If you are currently suicidal, please be encouraged. The battles that you are in are always worth fighting, even when it seems that you may not have victory, but remember it is impossible to achieve victory if you surrender. I promise you that life will change, and when it does, you will be grateful that you did not act on your plan. Think about the great day that it will be when you are able to see the beauty in your hardships. Suicide eliminates the chances of life becoming better because it stops your journey in this world.

Those who have the hardest life become the strongest people. #bestrong Click To Tweet

If you choose life let me tell you this, it will not be an easy battle to overcome but in the end it is worth every hardship and tear. Yeshua is here to walk with you, by your side, every step of the way. Everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, remember it simply isn’t the end. Also read these passages Psalms 57:8 and 1 John 5:4-5.

When you saw one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you,

Lama Leah

Lama Leah is blogger, supporter of the arts, social change, and God’s chosen people. Read more from her at her blog: Lama-Leah!

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

For information on what to do if you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

Elanor’s Story: Depression, Self-harm, Suicide

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t feeling sad.

I hope I haven’t always been, but ever since I was little I used to think there was always something telling me I was worthless and ugly; I thought my brain was broken. When I grew up my brother was going through a hard time and he took it out on me by hitting me very hard. He would call me fat, ugly, worthless, terrible; it shaped how I still think of myself to this day. Since he was seven years older than me and I was very young it affected me badly.

My mother and father would ignore me when I was angry or upset. I became older and it seemed like the world was crashing down on me. I hated my life so badly but I also hated that I was ungrateful; I knew others were in worst positions than me so I shoved my feelings down. Occasionally I would just lie on my floor, barely able to breathe, so angry and miserable that I would cry for long periods of time, staring in the mirror and hating myself.

I remember when I started to self harm; the way it stung right before it bled made me feel better. It was like I was releasing pain from my body. When my mother found out about it she hit me and screamed. I started to cut myself around my ribs and on my side to hide the marks, I couldn’t stop.

During this time, I made a lot of friends who made me behave badly. I started to become very sexual, thinking that if boys wanted me it meant I was beautiful. I was too young to think like this, but my best friend was doing it, so I decided to. I did things I regret so much that I still stay up thinking about them. I worry that more people will find out, and I actually fear that I will be in a lot of trouble, not just with my family.

Somehow I felt like someone was taking over my body and making me hate myself and helping me make bad decisions. I started therapy and I hated it, at first. I felt too vulnerable, like I wasn’t strong and I was so mentally unstable that I deserved to be in an institution. I realize I was wrong now, I was very strong. I cried a lot and got very angry at myself when I did, I learned later that this was because my parents have shamed me for crying growing up. My therapist seemed threatening to me and I never fully got comfortable. The lowest point was when I wrote suicide notes.

I thought that I was meant to be the girl who killed herself, I didn’t think I had a future.

I started to take medicine for my depression and it helped. Fighting with my parents became worse, and I was still making horrible decisions with boys at such a young age. My mother made me feel worthless, my father ignored when she would strike me.

Eventually the sadness ebbed away, my irritability started to lessen, I ignored my bad temptations. I was still depressed but I could handle it. After many different medicines and large upward and downward spikes in my mental health I became stable. I got closer with friends, I stayed away from relationships until I loved myself, I stopped wanting to cut. My story is not very well written because I am still ashamed and will not write out the details. I want the readers to know that I am still struggling, that every day is a battle, but I learned how to cope. This is not exactly a happy ending, since I am lonely and still being bullied and harassed for my old behavior. Life doesn’t give you happy endings but you can make the best of it. Having a mental illness is not a bad thing, and if you have one you’re allowed to feel and exist, you are not a burden.

If you have a mental illness, you're allowed to feel. You're not a burden. Click To Tweet

There is hope!

Elanor

TheHopeLine agrees that you are not a burden. You are an individual who needs to be able to express them self and be loved and supported no matter what struggles you have.

Don’t stay in that place of self-hate, it’s going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it’s possible. TheHopeLine’s eBook on self-worth gives practical advice on how to increase your self-esteem.

Matt’s Story: Thank you Dawson

Almost 10 years ago, I had first heard Dawson McAllister on the radio when I was on tour throughout Tennessee. I was only 16 or 17 at the time, now I’m 27. I have 2 beautiful daughters and in a much happier place. Mostly because of the conversation I had with Dawson McAllister on the air while I was driving and it was late. I was considering just turning the wheel and going off the road and doing whatever I could to just end it. But after the talk we had, I changed my mind.

Just wanted to thank you, my friend, Dawson. Without God, and without you… I wouldn’t have my two beautiful girls to wake me up and drive me nuts every morning. And I wouldn’t change that for the world. Thank you.

Matt

Patrick’s Story: I tried to kill myself

Patrick’s Story

All my life no one, my age, ever really liked me. I was that kid that smelled even thought most of the time I didn’t. Anyway, when I was 14, men started emailing me asking to be my friend; something I never really had. I hesitated at first, then I met one of them. At first, we just sorta hung out, then they started to tell me they need me give them something . You can guess what that meant. At the time, I didn’t think this was an issue. I felt wanted and I felt loved, something I haven’t felt in a while. Now you might ask…were my parents bad or something? They weren’t, they were just busy with their careers. After a while, they made me feel like I had to sneak out at night.

When I got into my second year of high school, I found a girl friend that liked me for who I was. Then, one day I was riding my moped and I fell. I hit my head, and yes, I was wearing a helmet. I went blank for a minute but I was okay, just a scraped hand. I got up and kept riding and a week later. I started getting headaches. I went to the ER and I had a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). About another week later was the first time I tried to kill myself. I stole my family boat and tried to sink it with me inside it…this didn’t work. This was the first time I was hospitalized. I was hospitalized two more times before. They asked if I was ever sexually abused and every other time they asked that I said no but then it clicked, and I opened up. It had never occurred to me that I was abused. I tried to kill myself more times, the other times with pills and jumping off a overpass. Just to give you an update that was the first time my parent found out about the abuse. I had kept it hidden for over 3 years. All in this time, I was cutting and got kicked out of three schools.

Stories of Abuse Survivors:
Abbie’s Story of Sexual Abuse
Talleha’s Story of Hope (Video)

I was also diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). It got so bad, I went to a residential hospital for nine months. After that, life was so much less stressful and the flashbacks came fewer and the wish to die subsided. I still suffer from anxiety and depression, but its manageable, and I am also not on any medication.

I’m proof that if you just take a break from life and work really hard and have a lot of support…you can get through anything!

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. For a list of crisis centers around the world and additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

If you are struggling with painful emotions like Patrick download TheHopeLine’s free eBook today.

To Survivors of Suicide Loss

by Dawson McAllister

If you have lost someone to suicide, I am deeply sorry for your loss.

The traumatic experience of losing a loved one to suicide, is very different than losing a loved one in any other way. There are feelings and emotions that will be unique to this journey that you are on. And, undoubtedly, this will be something that will stay with you forever.

I am writing this blog to all survivors of suicide loss to simply encourage you that you are not alone.

I am here to tell you that you are not supposed to grieve according to any timeframe or in any prescribed way. You are not supposed to just “get over it.” In fact, it is important that at some point you accept and understand that your life has been forever changed because of this loss and that you may now always view things through a different lens.

However, I want to encourage you that you will find your way again. I have heard it described this way:

You will never be the same again, you will never get over it, but you will have a life again, you will wake up in the morning and feel good. You will start to make plans for the future. At some point, life will feel normal again; not the old normal, the new normal.

So while everyone grieves in their own way, there are some common feelings that are unique to people who have lost someone to suicide. They include:

A sense of unreality, numbness, nightmares and intrusive thoughts.
Feelings of guilt and failure that you were not able to prevent it.
An unrelenting need to ask why, to try and make sense of and understand why it happened.
Feelings of rejection and abandonment.
Anger towards the person you lost, as they are also the murderer of the person you loved.
A sense of shame and stigma, that other people will think negatively about you and your family. Sometimes this can result in feeling alone and wanting to withdraw from others.

This comment on my blog Why do people End their Life by Suicide captures the confusion that many people who have lost someone to suicide face.

My nephew hung himself in April… I just keep asking myself why why why? He didn’t even leave a note. Sometimes I feel angry- why did he leave us?! How could he think that no one cared? If he would’ve called and said he was hurting and needed someone to be there he would have! His death (only age 19) has had such an effect on the whole family… so many tears and heartache. I just keep wondering why and will never know…Snitty

Suicide produces many painful and confusing emotions in survivors, one of which is frustration at being so violently cut off from the victim with no chance to help them, talk with them, or even say goodbye. This frustration can often lead to anger toward yourself, others, or even the victim.

Frustration can also lead to guilt which can be defined as anger turned inward. Can we talk about the enemy of GUILT for a minute?

Jeffrey Jackson wrote A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide. In it he says, “Guilt is your worst enemy, because it is a false accusation. You are not responsible for your loved one’s suicide in any way, shape, or form. Write it down. Say it to yourself over and over again, (even when it feels false). Tattoo it onto your brain. Because it’s the truth. Why do suicide survivors tend to blame themselves? Psychiatrists theorize that human nature subconsciously resists so strongly the idea that we cannot control all the events of our lives that we would rather fault ourselves for a tragic occurrence than accept our inability to prevent it. Simply put, we don’t like admitting to ourselves that we’re only human, so we blame ourselves instead.”

The hard truth is that the only person responsible for any suicide is the victim. Yet, we don’t want to blame our loved one for their own death, so we blame ourselves. Perhaps it would be helpful to stop thinking in terms of “blame.” Blame brings up connotations of judging the person, and we don’t want to judge them because we still love them and deep down we know that they must have had a lot going on in their head that pushed them to the point of taking their own life. It might be better to think in terms of accepting the fact that they were responsible for their own death. We don’t need to judge or blame, but we can learn to accept it was their responsibility.

Niki left a comment that shows a depth of understanding of where her brother must have been mentally when he died by suicide.

My brother committed suicide 3 weeks ago today. He was a very private person and couldn’t easily open up. My heart breaks because I knew he was stressed. I reached out to him on many occasions, but he wouldn’t admit the depth of his despair. Then on the night of Easter Monday he hung himself. I so wish it was different, but he must have been in too much pain for too long. What an immense loss to us his family, his girlfriend, his young children and his friends

Recently, I took a call on my radio show from Rachel whose friend had died by suicide. She and her friends were all struggling. To hear some of my advice to her, please listen.

As you move forward in your life after losing someone to suicide, here are some suggestions to help you along:

Know you can survive; you may not think so, but you can.
Know you may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings but that all your feelings are normal.
Find a good listener with whom to share.
Expect setbacks. If emotions return like a tidal wave, you may only be experiencing a remnant of grief, an unfinished piece.
Give yourself permission to get professional help.
Be patient with yourself and others who may not understand.
Steer clear of people who want to tell you what or how to feel.
Consider joining a support group such as a Survivors of Suicide group.
Call out to God and lean on your faith to help you through.

For more suggestions, here is a list from suicidolgy.org.

For more information on suicide, checkout TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

5 Amazing Reasons Why You Matter

Why You Matter

Sometimes you feel like you are not good enough, perhaps because of certain challenges that may make you give into self-doubt. The good news is you are not alone; we all have moments like that in our lives. If you’ve lost your self-worth and confidence, you are at the right place; this article will help you improve your overall well-being by reminding you why you matter.

You are the only person who can be you

You matter because you are the only person who can be you. This planet has over 7 billion people and yet you are the only person who is exactly like you. Take for instance, your fingerprints; they are unique and yet you are the only one with them. Ideally, everyone face different challenges and gain different experiences. The fact that each one of us has a different life journey means we all have different stories to tell. Believe it or not, this simple fact is incredibly crucial. Hence, for even a second, don’t allow yourself to think anything different.

You have the ability to make a stranger’s day

I know you’re wondering how this is possible. Well, you don’t need to be a superhuman to put a smile on someone’s face; all you need is little acts of random kindness. Take a look at yourself and note that you are every bit capable of making a stranger’s day brighter. Whether it’s sheltering someone else with your umbrella on a rainy day, sharing a smile, helping an old lady across the street, getting a bottle of water for a foreign worker or offering up your seat to someone else, you possess the power to make a stranger’s day even if you are unable to make your own.

You can be a passionate and genuine leader

Leadership is all about influencing and inspiring others. Of course, you have to do this in a positive way, so the people you lead can achieve their own greatness. As mentioned earlier, all of us are unique, meaning we have different abilities and talents. And being a leader can be one of those abilities. If you find yourself in any leadership position, lend a helping hand, provide encouragement, and make a difference in the lives of others.

Your talent has the power to greatly inspire others

While you are busy trying to be more of someone else and less of you, remember, someone somewhere is doing the exact same thing: Wanting to be you. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, note that your talent can greatly inspire someone. The talent does not need to be an outright one like painting, playing soccer, or drawing, but know that you can inspire someone (including a total stranger) with whatever you have in hand.

You are a human being, never forget this

You are an active, living, breathing human being. That should be enough. You take up space on this earth; not useless space, but space that matters; space that can make a difference. You light up the world with your body and soul, and above all, you are ALIVE. You are alive and this only means one thing; you are yet to accomplish everything you need to.

Don’t at any second belittle yourself. You matter, not just to yourself but to others as well. You are alive for a reason and you have the power to control that. Be positive, be happy, and most importantly, be yourself, because you are important in every aspect of your own.

Guest Post written by: Ivy Norton

Author Bio: Ivy Norton is a mother of 3 and founder of mommasbaby.com. She’s a passionate mommy blogger and focuses on providing parenting news, tips and advice. She writes, “Having struggled through some times of depression, and the feeling of worthlessness, I hope to shed light on what makes you important and why everyday is a gift that should be cherished.”

If you struggle with your self-worth, and want to know what to do when you hate yourself, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook:

Quinn’s Story: I Jumped Off of a Freeway Overpass

Quinn’s Story

I have always seemed like the happy one of my family. No one notices things that they don’t want to. In September 2015, I jumped off of a freeway overpass. I was in the hospital for over a month. I will have lasting impressions of the injuries I sustained for the rest of my life.

TheHopeLine has been here for me when I needed someone to talk to.

My family doesn’t want to talk about it. My brother calls me the family cripple. My family views me as disabled. I might have a limp, and I might be depressed, but that does not make me any less of a person. I am embarrassed to say that I need help from my family, because it has been made into something to be ashamed of.

Thank you TheHopeLine, for being the one place that I can go to talk.

-Quinn

For more on what to do if you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

Coy’s Story: Suicidal and Ashamed

Coy’s Story

I spoke with a HopeCoach name West last week. I had googled “Suicide Help Line.”

I was too ashamed to talk to someone over the phone but when I saw a chat option, I felt that would be safe enough.

I felt stuck, hopeless and utterly alone in the midst of hundreds of people who love me. It was 2am, one of my two daughters was crying. Everytime I laid her in the crib, she would cry. So, I picked her up, went to the living room and while holding her, was looking up suicide help lines. I found TheHopeLine through Death2Life. West came on and began talking with me.

I felt safe. I felt like she didn’t have a bone of condemnation in her body.

She told me her story and I began to cry. The first time I had been able to cry in a long time. She had no way of knowing but we had similar experiences with cancer and loved ones. She asked if it was ok to give me scriptures, I agreed. I knew what the Word said and exactly what I would tell other people in my situation. I just couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I had succumb to the lie. I was worthless and never going to be able to get out of my situation. That my family would be better off without me. That God would send a better man than I to raise my kids and take care of my wife. They deserved more than what I had laid at their feet. We talked and it seemed everything she said resonated with me. She prayed with me. She prayed a prayer and I believed it. She prayed as if she knew God was going to answer it.

I went to bed. I woke up the next morning, tender from the night before. I decided, I’m just going to drive hard at work, work as fast as I can and get the day over with.

I started to recall the night before. I felt a burden to apologize to my boss for my lack of effort at work. I had been so depressed it effected my performance. He never said anything, but I know it did. As I went to apologize I started to cry. He pulled me aside and asked what was going on. I had just felt so transparent, I told him everything from suicidal thoughts, depression, money woes, etc. He asked me how far behind I was. I told him and he placed one months rent in my pocket in cash right then. I didn’t expect that…not in a million years. By the end of the day He had lined up a side job that would help us get out of our situation. I was broken. God had done something I couldn’t believe. He answered West’s prayer for me that she prayed that night before.

I know the road ahead is long but West gave me something I had lost for a while. Hope. I know it will not be fixed overnight. I do believe God is bigger than this and I need to not be a lone ranger Christian and I need to rely on people to pray, trust and help lift my burdens.

I just wanted to say thanks to West. God used her to do a mighty miracle in my life. My wife and four children thank you. They have a new daddy and husband now. I pray your reward is great on Earth and in Heaven.

In Christ Alone,
Coy

If you are having suicidal thoughts or feeling very low and depressed, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

SUICIDE- 10 Facts You Need to Know

by Dawson McAllister

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for 15-34 year-olds in the U.S.

A nationwide survey of high school students in the United States found that 16% of students reported seriously considering suicide. If you haven’t thought about killing yourself, chances are you know someone who has. For example, within a typical high school classroom of 20 students, it is likely that three students have made a suicide attempt in the past year.
In a class of 20 students, 3 students attempted suicide in the last year. Click To Tweet
Think about that for a moment the next time you are in a classroom. Look around and realize that 3 people you see have felt overwhelmed and considered suicide as their only option out.

Jess has those very feelings: “I have considered suicide many times in my life. I am bipolar and when I get really depressed I want to kill myself. Life also becomes overwhelming with school and things going on at home.”

On Saturday and Sunday nights, my radio show Dawson McAllister Live goes for two hours. Sometimes just after the show I say to myself, “While the show was going on, some teenager or young adult across America died by suicide.” I am deeply grateful that my show and TheHopeLine® have saved thousands of people from killing themselves. Yet I am still haunted by the many we could not prevent. It goes without saying, suicide is a big deal.
Most suicidal people desperately want to live, but they have lost all hope. Click To Tweet
I wish this wasn’t the case. That’s why I’m doing a blog series about this life and death issue. If I can help one person turn away from suicide, it will all be worth it. Maybe it will be Jess, or the person who emailed me anonymously: “I struggle with suicide. I just need some help.” Or maybe that someone is you.

Here are 10 Facts About Suicide

Males take their own lives at nearly four times the rate of females and represent 77.9% of all suicides.
Females are more likely than males to have suicidal thoughts.
About 2/3 of people who complete suicide are depressed at the time of their deaths. Depression that is untreated, undiagnosed, or ineffectively treated is the number one cause of suicide.
People who have a dependence on alcohol or drugs in addition to being depressed are at greater risk for suicide.
Most suicidal people give definite warning signals of their suicidal intentions, but others are often unaware of the significance of these warnings or unsure what to do about them.
Suicide is preventable. Most suicidal people desperately want to live; they are just unable to see alternatives to their problems.
Talking about suicide does not cause someone to become suicidal. It actually helps to talk about suicide, and the feelings and thoughts behind it.
Surviving family members not only suffer the loss of a loved one to suicide, but are also themselves at higher risk of suicide and emotional problems.
People who are depressed and exhibit the following symptoms are at particular risk for suicide:
-Extreme hopelessness
-A lack of interest in activities that were previously pleasurable
-Heightened anxiety and/or panic attacks
-Global insomnia
-Talk about suicide or a prior history of attempts/acts
-Irritability and agitation
Peer support plays an important role in the treatment of mental and substance use disorders and holds a potential for helping those at risk for suicide.

As Roiselyn wrote: We need to find ways among ourselves to prevent suicide from happening, not just leave it to experts or therapists. She is right. Experts are needed, but most people turn to their friends for help first. That is why this blog series may be the most important I have ever written.

So please stay with me as we tackle this topic. Look around you and see if someone you know is crying out for help. You CAN make a difference!

For more on what to do if you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

References:
Center for Disease Control 2015 Report
World Health Organization GHO(Global Health Observatory)
TN Suicide Prevention Network Facts About Suicide
National Strategy for Suicide Prevention (NSSP)

Tonight, I Walked that Thin Line

Have You Walked That Thin Line Between Life And Death?

We grew up away from other people, out in the country. My Mom was as religious as she was irrational, and the two don’t mix. She once grounded me for a week for putting the soap on the wrong side of the sink. She used to pit my brother and I against each other. Dad didn’t really see the damage, and he may never see it. We grew up so isolated, only interacting at school. I never had people over or went over to peoples houses that weren’t my mom’s friends, and she was always present. In a small town, you don’t have much of a window of opportunity to make close friends, and I missed that deadline. I was always just alone. And I thought it was normal.

In 2008, the depression hit pretty bad. I was never close to anybody, even girlfriends and teammates. My voice was always drowned out, interrupted, and ignored.

I always seemed happy and energetic on the outside, but no one knew what was going on.

Since 2008, I wake up every morning…angry I made it through the night. Suicide is always on my mind. The years of drug abuse and cheap thrills coupled with the depression led to some wildly irrational behavior.

In 2010, I put a single bullet into a revolver, spun the chamber, put it to my temple and pulled the trigger. I never told anyone, I just put the gun back and went to school. It got better after a while, and I did fairly well in school somehow.

Now that I’m almost done with my engineering degree, the stress is building up. The happiness started to fade away as I barely am able to keep up with the homework and tests. After drinking myself into an acute case of pancreatitis (and almost dying), I no longer have friends or people to talk to, since all my friends were drunks. I turned to more drugs.

I almost killed myself tonight..I walked that thin line, and TheHopeLine saved my life.

Randy

If you are walking that thin line or know someone else who is, check out TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

Baylor’s Story: Don’t Give Up!!

Baylor’s Story

When I was in the 4th grade, I started to cut. At first it hurt, but I thought about everything that had already happened. My parents were more into the drugs than their own kids.

When I got to 5th grade, I tried to commit suicide for the first time. I had to go to school the next day all doped up on the pills that I hadn’t taken enough of. My parents didn’t know about this.

Then I got kicked out of the house, so I moved in with my grandma. One day it was all to much for me to handle…so I tried to hang myself. The last thing I remember was hanging there then seeing my grandma walk in the room…I ended up getting kicked out.

Then I tried to kill myself 7 times.

I’m 14 now and I became pregnant. I didn’t want my parents…or no one to know.

I ended up trying to OD. The baby and I were both okay, but I knew I had messed up.

About 2 months later I had a miscarriage. I didn’t know where else to turn, so I started to do some research. That is when I found www.TheHopeLine.com. At first, I thought no one knows what all I’m going through. Finally, one day everything was way to much so I got up the nerve to test it out and chat with them, and I’m glad I did.

I found out that talking about it really does help.

These wonderful people [HopeCoaches] are here whenever nobody else is. So, the moral of my story is: DON’T GIVE UP!!!

Baylor

If you are struggling with suicide thoughts and need help, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

Suicidal Thoughts

At some point in their lives many have thought about ending their own life. You are not alone. There is hope for those that are having suicidal thoughts just like there was for Sarah, Gavin and Sara.

I have been dealing with depression for eleven years, my sister had passed away and after that my life changed completely. I was abused by my father, then my parents were divorced, afterwards my mom found a really cool guy and he became my step-dad. I loved him, until he started putting me down, shoving me out of the house, getting so close to me when he yelled he would spit on me. Then my Aunt passed away and I found out the day my sister passed away. She committed suicide. Then on my Aunt’s birthday my grandmother died, of old age. I have been bullied at school to the point where I’m afraid to be myself and talk to anyone because of fear of being laughed at. I’ve had several classroom incidents and I was rendered helpless, the teacher was mad. I have a really bad life here. And I have attempted suicide three times already. My HopeCoach came and I didn’t ask the name and well they talked to me and listened to me after I had been so scared to talk. I am so glad because I had my pistol ready, thank you so much!
-Sarah

I felt very low and I felt like ending it. I just wanted to say a big thank you to a HopeCoach on the telephone today as I am in a bad way and he understood. He gave me some good resources and guidance that should hopefully help me in the future. Bless TheHopeLine! Hope is Here!
-Gavin

I had been looking for something that would help me change my mind. I tried other sites, apps….you name it! I stumbled onto TheHopeLine.com in my search and gave them a shot. I’m extremely glad I did. I spoke with a HopeCoach who not only talked me down, but actually understood and had personal experiences feeling the way I’ve been feeling. They talked with me and helped me to see I'm worth a shot too! Click To Tweet
-Sara

You Are Loved.

You Are Brave.

You Are Valuable.

You Can Do This.

If you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

Kept Me From Killing Myself

I can’t go into all the details but the person with whom I spoke with kept me from killing myself.

I’m in a very dark place at this time but they helped me see just the tiniest bit of light at the end of this road. I cant say it won’t happen again but I will say at least I will try to come back if things get black again. Thanks.

Monia

If you are in a dark place right now and need someone to help you see the light, connect with a HopeCoach right now.

You Saved My Life

When I logged onto your app, I was lost, devastated and heart broken. I have had a lot of bad things happen to me in the past, and I’ve done a lot of bad things as well, but one of your HopeCoaches, unfortunately who will remains anonymous to me, saved my life today.

I had been through a rough break up for the second time and betrayed by a good friend of mine and I thought about leaving it all behind…and if it wasn’t for this person I met through you guys, I would have gone through with it. I constantly turned my back on God throughout my life, but after today, I know Jesus will always be there for me..to carry me through all my hard times that I have yet to still overcome.

What you people do, it’s amazing and liberating and selfless.

I love all of you so much. My name is JonPaul. I’m a 25 year old college student out of Colorado, and I am so glad I met you all. You, the person I met tonight, who showed me the light and the right path I should take, I want you to know you made me very happy, and I love you deeply.

Even though you are a stranger…you saved my life and my mind from total destruction.

I am forever in debt to your grace. And I hope one day, I get to meet you. Thank you for listening to me, and hearing my heartbreaking story. You made my world a better place to be in. Thank you again!

JohnPaul

Need to talk? Connect with a HopeCoach by downloading

TheHopeLine’s mobile app today!

Survivor of Suicide Loss

“We all know that when we physically lose people we love, that part of them is never lost because they are always in our hearts.

But for me, there are times like this morning, when the giant hole in my heart seems to get bigger and bigger. As the teardrops continue to fall and enlarge the hole, it feels like you get farther and farther away…

And that unbearable feeling, of your seeming to get farther and farther away, the feeling of losing touch with what is in my heart, restarts the cycle.”

-Mel

Mel is a suicide survivor. She has survived the loss of her son. He died by suicide.

His name is Alec. He was 25 years old and shot himself on 2/10/14. He was an Airforce Reserve Airman and a phlebotomist and worked in a hospital lab. You can tell by talking to Mel how much she loved her son. He was successful and had a lot of friends but Mel started to see over time that there was something broken in Alec. One bad choice led to another. He wouldn’t listen to anyone. He wouldn’t talk to anyone. His brother said one time, that his biggest problem was that Alec thought he was smarter than everyone else. This translated into him not wanting to go to anyone to ask for help. His mom says: “he was too stubborn to ever let anyone help him with anything and his foot was stuck in the ‘alcohol door’ which had many resulting consequences. He was muddling along with the emotional support of a girlfriend and when she broke up with him, it was the last straw for him “ he just gave up.

The one thing that really keeps Mel going is that she saw her son give his life to the Lord at an Acquire the Fire event. It’s encouraging for her to know that one day she will see her son again because she knows that God keeps His promises. God promises that if we give our life to him and ask Him to be our savior and forgive us of our sins then He will, and that’s all it takes to get to heaven. Mel says: “For those few that take the heartbreaking path that Alex went on, at least they had the opportunity to know the Lord.”

Like so many others, Alec probably had no idea of how many lives he had touched and how many people loved him. On the Facebook page set up in his memory, there are so many stories about his sense of humor, how he was always smiling, joking, laughing. And how he encouraged and helped so many people in his life. Here are just a few of the comments taken from Facebook:

It’s hard to fathom that you’re no longer with us. It feels like yesterday we were passing notes and sneaking out of our houses to meet each other In the middle of the night…I hated walking back home in the dark by myself. You would walk me back so I wasn’t scared or the nights where you would knock on my window scaring the hell out of me. lol. I will never forget those bus rides home after soccer games. You were my seat/snack partner. You were my first love and will always have a place in my heart.

Rest In Paradise brother. Very very sad and upset that you’re gone. I remember I could talk to Alec about anything. He always used to check up on me in Jacksonville from time to time. Obviously I fell short somewhere. I just wish there was a way that I could say one last word, have one last conversation, one last look at that genuine human being god placed on this earth to share smiles and love… I am going to miss Alec a lot.

Alec probably never knew the immense effect he had on me. When I was a painfully shy, self-conscious high schooler, Alec’s genuine kindness and sweet smile went such a long way. We weren’t considered “great” friends, nor did he ever know the crazy crush I had on him.throughout our high school years, but his smile will always shine bright in my mind. Gone too soon, you are clearly missed so so much. Rest easy, sweet boy.

If you are a survivor of suicide loss….

you have been through a traumatic experience of losing a loved one to suicide. This will be something that will stay with you forever. Suicide can be very different than losing a family member in a different way other than to suicide. There are feelings and emotions that can be unique to losing someone to suicide:

Guilt “ You may feel as if you could have stopped the suicide.

Stigma “ Society still attaches a stigma to suicide.

Anger “ You may feel anger towards the person you lost, as they are also the murderer of the person you loved.

Disconnection “ You may feel disconnected from the person you lost and their memories because they made a choice to end their life.

The American Association of Suicidology has a handbook for Survivors of Suicide: Download it here. You can find out: how to explain suicide to children, the stages of grief, about battling guilt, acceptance, moving on, ways to get support and more.

Also, you can read stories from people like you, who have survived suicide loss: THEIR STORIES HERE. (Posted by the Survivors of Suicide Loss Group.)

And you can check out Survivor Day Documentaries, posted on the 2015 International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day website, which is a program of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

If you want to understand more about suicide or if you are having suicidal thoughts, download our free eBook.

Don’t Keep Quiet If You Are Feeling Suicidal

My story starts off on August 17th, 2015….

On August 17th 2015, I attempted to take my life by crashing a car into a pole driving 85 mph. All the problems I had in my life were adding up and I thought to myself…what’s the point? I have no future. My ex of 2 years ago is ruining my life because of one choice I made and the girl who had always been by my side left me and that devastated me. I thought nobody will ever love me like she did.

I sent her a pic of me crying then I went out to my car and I called my best friend and I told him, “I can’t do it anymore…I’m done.” He said, “What happened?” I said, “The stuff with my ex and she left me…I’m going to do it!!” And he said, “Do what?” I said, “Speed…I’m going to drive 140 mph into a pole,” and I did exactly that. A lady watched me roll my car, she watched me hit the pole, right now I’m in the process of finding her to thank her for calling 911. I also was assumed and pronounced dead on scene. My ex was going to the store and she looked down the road and saw my car rolled over, and she’s the one who got the phone call.

After that incident, I feel more positive about life. My message is: Don’t keep quiet if your going to hurt yourself or others…please speak up. If you are feeling suicidal then talk to someone, don’t keep quiet about it. There is someone out there who will listen to you.

John

For information on what to do if you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

(Video) Death by Suicide: All Too Soon

Suicidal thoughts? You are not alone!

TheHopeLine is here for you if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, are lonely, depressed, struggling with self-worth, or just need someone to talk to. The more you can talk about your feelings and not hold everything inside, the more you can begin to feel a weight lifted off of you and find hope. In honor of National Suicide Prevention Week, we partnered with Vlogsters to bring you a powerful video inspired by a girl who died by suicide.

[Video] All Too Soon (A Slam Poem by Andrew Nuno)

THE STORY OF “ALL TOO SOON”

TheHopeLine has partnered with Vlogsters to bring you this video. Vlogsters is a group of three high school film-making friends staying connected with Vlogs and more through their college lives. One of the Vlogsters, Adrian Nuno, tells us how this video came to be:

“All Too Soon” began as a slam poem that my brother Andrew wrote back in the beginning of 2014 in response to a local tragedy in our community that involved the suicide of a girl because of cyber bullying. Andrew needed to channel what had happened into something creative and this poem came about as a result.

Ever since the poem was written, I had constantly told Andrew that he should make it into a video but because of other projects we were working on at the time, we never got the chance to make it. Two things this year brought about the opportunity for this video to finally happen. The first was Andrew’s vlog on our channel, Vlogsters, which was titled “You are Loved.” In this vlog, Andrew told our viewers that you are loved no matter what and that someone will always be there for you. This inspired me to reignite the conversation with Andrew of getting this project finally going. The second was my work that is still ongoing with my Phi Theta Kappa board (an honors society at my college). We are in the midst of a project surrounding mental illness and how people should not feel ashamed about it.

These two things along with more unfortunate tragedies in our community inspired us to revisit this project and to finally get it done. We had two of our good friends star in this video and Andrew memorized the poem and we got our film cameras out and rolling! After three filming days and a week of editing, “All Too Soon” finally became a reality.

If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or know of a friend struggling with suicidal thoughts, contact TheHopeLine and chat with us here: CHAT NOW!

Why Say No To Suicide?

by Dawson McAllister

I know it’s tough. Your pain is real and sometimes suffocating.

You feel alone and hopeless. You want to give up, and yet you are holding on by a string, facing another day. I’ve read your comments on my blog “What to do when you feel suicidal.” I hear your despair and my heart breaks for you, but I’m asking you to please hold on.

So why say no to suicide?

What if there is a way for you to keep facing life? Are you willing to keep trying? I understand that there isn’t anything simple about this, but if one of these ideas helps you find a reason to live, it’s worth it.

Here are 4 reasons to keep working at LIFE:

1. Do you know for certain what the future holds? What if you miss out on something GREAT?

If you can work through your pain in this moment in time, you might very likely find that on the other side awaits a life full of great experiences and meaningful relationships that you can’t even imagine right now.

Life is filled with the potential to get better, deeper, richer, and more fulfilling.

You may very well find meaningful work, and possibly get married and have children. You can begin now writing a really great legacy you’ll leave behind…of a person who is a survivor, an overcomer.

Perhaps you are a high school student who is being bullied and doesn’t fit in. You feel alone, awkward and depressed. Quite honestly, there are very few of us who get through high school feeling cool. It is one rare mix of personality, talents and looks that find high school a breeze. For most, it’s a challenge. But once you are out of high school and maybe onto college you will very likely find yourpeople. People who getyou. Don’t miss out on developing these really cool friendships because high school sucks.

Or perhaps you’ve experienced something traumatic…abuse, rape, death and it’s hard to pick up on go on. I’m sorry this has happened to you, I know it is hard. But I also believe you can overcome. Just like Mariah – I shared her video on my Guest Blog. Click the link to check it out. She was bullied, raped, depressed and attempted suicide, but survived. She has since graduated from college, gotten married, and is loving life. What if her attempt had succeeded?

Be the bold one who fights through your pain, and stands up to the challenges of life with grace, confidence and joy.

Don’t give up, no matter what! Tweet This!

2. Someone DOES care. I know many of you feel completely alone, but there are people to talk to. On this point, I feel I must challenge the wrong thought patterns of someone who is suicidal. There IS someone who cares. You just might need to seek them out.

First of all, I care! I wouldn’t have done the work I’ve done for the last 40 years if I didn’t care. Second, ALL the staff at TheHopeLine care. Many of our HopeCoaches have experienced pain, too, and that’s why they want to help you. TheHopeLine is available 24/7. Chat with us anytime!!

And there are many more places you can go where people will care. It’s important for you to look for these places, so that you can talk about your pain. Walk into a local church and talk with a pastor. Or find a counseling center and talk with a counselor. There are many free counseling options if you look for them. And if you have family or if you are living at home. PLEASE talk to your parents.

John said it well:

Whatever the problem may be, just talking about it, can be the greatest help we can get. Just knowing that you aren’t alone, and that it has, and can be overcome, is a wonderful reassurance. Just discuss your problems with someone you can trust. I guarantee you the results will speak louder than any gun ever will.

As you work through your struggles, write down your thoughts. Write down your hopes for the future and the people you value in life. Read these to remind yourself that life is important. Keep track of positive things other people say about you, and the good they see in you rather than the negative

3. You can help others and perhaps save someone’s life.
There are people all around you who are struggling too. Sometimes taking our eyes off of ourselves for a little bit, allows us to see others who are in pain as well. Perhaps at this moment you need to work on your own healing, but in time, you could be that person that helps others. Perhaps someday you will be able to share your story of how you bravely fought your battle and lived to tell about it and use it to inspire others to hang on.

Brianna wrote:

I just want everyone to know that I have been there and life isn’t easy, but death will only make everything more complicated. Everyone has rough patches in life but you just have to push through and soon enough you will come out the other side a new person and you will feel amazing.

One day you might need a helping hand, the next day, you can be the hand reaching down to help pick up someone else.

4. God loves you. I saved the best reason to keep living for last! I believe this reason applies to everyone. God made you and He has a great plan for your life whether you see it now or not. God never promised life wouldn’t be hard, but He did promise He would be with you in whatever it is you’re going through. It’s never His desire that you kill yourself. Don’t make yourself out to be the judge, jury, the accused, and the executioner. It’s God’s decision when you live and die, not yours.

Mark wrote:

I used to be suicidal, and for the most part it comes right down to having hope and knowing you are loved. Hope is what will give you the strength to make it through until things get better.

You can have HOPE, because God has a purpose for your life. Click To Tweet

God created you because He wanted you to live a rich and meaningful life. Even though life can seem unbearable at times, with God on your side, there is always reason for hope things will get better. But we can’t do it alone.

Please don’t rob yourself of tomorrow, when tomorrow could be the greatest time of your life. Live today and give tomorrow a chance. If you do that everyday, you will live a life of love, hope, and courage. Anyone can quit on life, but life was never designed to be quit on. So don’t give up, no matter what! Don’t give up!

How did this young man say no to suicide? Watch the video to find out what happened.

“I had my desert eagle loaded in my car right beside me.”

More resources to help: Understanding Suicide Resources

(Video) Unspoken But Not Unheard

[Video] Unspoken But Not Unheard

Meet Mariah. She almost gave up on life. Here is her powerful story and she has an encouraging message for YOU.

I’m Mariah.

If everything went as planned I would be dead 4 years now BUT that plan didn’t work. And I’m here for a reason.actually a million reasons. Since high school, I had been depressed. Ugly, fat, nerd, worthless, the list goes on. I felt like nothing and was used by many, especially males. I was raped April 16^th, 2011. The song playing, Casting Crowns – “Does Anybody Hear Her”, went through my head that night as I tried to shower him off my body and mind. The depression followed. I planned my death. September 21^st, 2011, I sat with pills in my hand. Next thing I knew, I was being taken to the hospital. I spent 3 weeks in Psych. I eventually dropped out of school in 2012 because of the depression. I was hospitalized two more times for weeks at a time. I even planned my funeral at one point.

I wished for death every day and had no desire to live. One day something hit me and I realized I needed to be alive.

This is a picture from my wedding day October 18^th, 2014me and my husband and our first dance. My first dance with a man who loves me despite my past. First dance song lyrics said, If you knew how lonely my life has been and how long I’ve been so alone. And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along and change my life the way you’ve done. Since my depression spell, I graduated college, are working a job I enjoy, and am happily married. This was my graduation cap: My Fight is won! What if I had died?

You are worth so much!

Don’t you dare give up on this life.

Not Today.

Not Tomorrow.

NOT EVER!

Pain Inside I Couldn’t Deal With

The Deep Pain Inside Brianna

It started right before entering my senior year in high school. I was tired. Tired of people. Tired of my overbearing parents. Tired of sharing everything with my twin. Tired of life. I attempted suicide when I was at the tender age of 16. I totaled my car by hitting a pole at a whopping 50+ miles per hour. I flipped the car so high I knocked the top off the pole, crushed the passenger side, and somehow walked away with a few scratches. I was scared. I was upset, but I was alive.

Fast forward just a couple of months. Senior year has started, and nothing is going right. I continually ask myself why I failed. Why am I still here? I felt like a burden on my family. On my teachers. I worked hard in school, to an extent. I had to pretend I didn’t care a little. Otherwise they would all ask what was wrong with me. I still couldn’t cope. I watched my twin get everything I had worked three years for. Section leader in band, team captain on our varsity soccer team, she had the high school sweetheart, she was the thin one, the smart one. She had it all. I started to cut. It wasn’t for attention. It wasn’t for anyone to say, I am so sorry, as they looked away.

It was because there was a pain inside me I couldn’t deal with.

I was immature. Angry. I made it through Christmas barely. Over the break I got a cold, I started taking medicine. I found out I didn’t need much sleep on it. So I kept taking it. For months. Even after the cold had been long gone. I had a drug dependency. I didn’t need to sleep more than a couple hours a night. But I didn’t make a good use of my extra time. I cried a lot. When everyone was asleep. And I cut. At this point, I had a really bad attitude. A bad outlook on life. I hated everyone and everything. Because of that attitude, I didn’t step foot on the soccer field my entire senior year, despite starting on varsity since my freshman year. It was devastating.

I finally lost it and lashed out, not at a student, but at a teacher. When she confronted me, I broke down and told her I didn’t need her sympathy, that’s why I cut. For me, not anyone else. Here is where being a minor came into play… They told me parents. After watching my mother cry, they put me in therapy. Professional therapy. The counselor talked to me, asked me what was wrong and I told him all my grievances with the world. He asked what I did for fun. I had to say nothing. Nothing was fun anymore. I didn’t have my school, my sport, even my friends were gone at this point. All I had was cold medicine and scarred thighs.

During my final months of senior year, my final months of therapy, I found something out about myself. I was lost. I had strayed so far from God I didn’t know how to get back.

Here I was searching desperately for something to help me. To take away my loneliness, my pain. And He was right there. Waiting for me.

There were so many signs while I was struggling, but I was too angry to see them or take them for what they were. I reconnected with God. Got involved with my church. It took a long time, but I beat my drug dependency, I beat the need to be accepted by everyone around me, and I beat the need to self harm myself. I was accepted. Finally. I strayed throughout college, I don’t know many people who don’t honestly.. But I found my way back through an amazing man who I am now engaged to marry. I am in charge of a youth group, and we lead discussions about tough topics. Topics I have firsthand experience with. I also sing. I sing on Wednesdays, I sing on Sundays. I sing at work. In the car. Alone or surrounded by people. I lift God and I thank him every day for rescuing me from myself and the devil within me. I still fight sin. Daily. It’s still a struggle. But I am no longer alone. Praise Jesus for his love and grace. – Brianna

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

If you are struggling, you don’t have to struggle alone. TheHopeLine is here for you. Chat with us: HERE

(Video) What is an Email Mentor?

Listen to Chelsea’s story of how her email mentor saved her life.

Video Transcription: Hi, my name is Chelsea. I was dealing with so much when TheHopeLine and the email mentor helped me. I was cutting myself daily and I was seriously considering suicide. I was raped a few years prior and just had so many problems. When I was 15 I found out that I was pregnant and that’s when I remembered TheHopeLine and requested an email mentor. She was there for me through so much. Now my daughter is a happy one year old little girl. I believe TheHopeLine and my daughter saved my life. Thank you so much.

To touch the soul of another human being is to walk on sacred ground. Stephen R. Covey Click To Tweet

Email Mentors are available to offer you encouragement, advice, and a safe place to talk about any issue.

An Email Mentor will walk with you through whatever problem you are facing. The conversation is free, confidential and non-judgmental. You can keep talking to your mentor as long as you like and there is never a fee. Talking about ideas, decisions and fears is better than not talking about them. Sign up now on our get help page.

Dawson received this letter about how an email mentor made a difference,

“Hi Dawson, Jessica and Sarah! I just stopped by your page to say how your program and TheHopeLine has helped overcome an issue a year ago. I had a problem of the heart where yeah, I fell in love, and the other person just broke off and disappeared, without any proper message and whatnot. I didn’t know what to do, and was crying myself for weeks.
I suddenly remembered TheHopeLine, and took a chance on getting anything that could help me and make me feel better. I got connected to a mentor, which was very helpful, and sympathized well with me. He showed me how much he understands, and taught me how to slowly get rid of the heartbreak, as of course it’s not instant. He actually made me write the girl a letter saying goodbye, and then I sent it. It wasn’t the official end of the heartbreak, as it was still a long journey, but my mentor’s help made me feel a lot better, he made me feel I wasn’t alone. And most importantly, that God is with me.
After all this, I also discovered your radio show, and through it, I felt that I wasn’t alone, and there are people who can help me. I listened day in and day out, even when the radio show has looped already, haha! The show is just full of hope.
So yeah, thanks a million to your program, and the TheHopeLine. God has given this great gift to all of us, which reminds us that we’re not alone, and our problems are not to be carried alone. Dawson and to the gang, thank you so much.”

Our problems are not to be carried alone. Email Mentors offer you a safe place to talk. Click To Tweet

Taylor wrote to TheHopeLine to tell us how her email mentor helped her,

“I have been cutting as a result from depression and severe anxiety. I started when I was 15 years old, and I am now 19 years old. I have been on TheHopeLine for a few months now and I have to say that they have helped me through the hard times I have had. They connected me to two mentors and have made my connection with the Lord much stronger than ever before from the resources they sent me. I really appreciate the people who I chatted with. Thank you, HopeLine!!!!”

Sign up now for your own email mentor on our get help page!

For information on what to do if you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

Thank you for saving my life! [Video]

She told Dawson, “Thank you for saving my life.”

She was about to pop of bunch of pills to end her life, but then Dawson came on the radio. Watch and see what happened.

Overcoming Depression and Suicide [Video]

Anxiety, Depression, and Suicide – Chris Mora of Darkness Divided

Chris Mora of Darkness Divided stops by HeartSupport (one of TheHopeLine’s partners) to talk about his personal battles with depression and a suicide attempt.

Here is Chris Mora’s story:

From Athlete to Wheelchair, Depression & Thoughts of Suicide – Garrett Russell of Silent Planet

Garrett Russell of Silent Planet shares with HeartSupport, how when he found out he would never play sports again, he started getting depressed very quickly and eventually started thinking about ending his life. But after a trip serving in an orphanage in Haiti, his life started to change.

Here is Garrett Russell’s story:

HeartSupport’s founder is Jake Luhrs, lead singer of internationally renowned metal band, August Burns Red. HeartSupport is an online community to talk openly about the issues you are facing. Watch videos of other people’s stories, read blogs, share your story and find help on how to overcome your struggles, no matter what they are.

HeartSupport’s view is that:

No matter how far you’ve fallen
No matter how screwed up you feel
No matter how many lies you’ve told
No matter how long you’ve hid
No matter how dark your circumstance
No matter how much you regret it
No matter how badly you messed up
No matter how big you sinned
No matter how guilty you are
No matter how many felonies you have
No matter how long you’ve struggled
No matter how many times you’ve tried
No matter how weak you feel
No matter how dirty your past
No matter how you see yourself

THEY STILL BELIEVE IN YOU and SO DO WE!

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

If you are struggling with depression, no matter the cause, to find out more and get help, check out our free eBook on Depression!

On the Edge of Ending My Life

I was on the very edge of ending my life when I came across the HopeLine.

The first person I spoke to was very friendly and was able to talk with me for as long as I needed, the second person I talked to was just as helpful, both experiences helped me get this heavy orb off of my chest. I thought that when I wasn’t speaking with my best friend about something like this that I would crash and end my life but I learned that as long as the HopeLine is here, I will continue to live with Hope!

-Takia

If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please:

Suicide

All my life, I’ve never good enough for anyone. My half-brother raped me and made me sleep with him.

When everything is going wrong, I can talk to someone HERE at TheHopeLine and I don’t feel alone.

I’ve tried to kill myself three times in the past six months but TheHopeLine has helped me. Thank you for everything. Thank you for giving me hope again!

-Indira

If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please:

Chat with TheHopeLine here
Call TheHopeLine at 1-800-394-4673
Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
Visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Death by Loneliness

The Loneliness Was Too Much

Everybody get’s lonely from time to time…it’s human nature.

I was kicked out of my old high school for bad attendance. I felt like a failure when I was forced into an alternative school. (Which surprisingly turned out to be a better school then my old one!)

Thankfully, I was with a guy who was there for me. We were together for 8 months, he was my world, he was my life, and I gave him everything. We had a pregnancy scare and I told a few of my close friends, and by the time I knew it…they blocked me on everything! I was okay though, I still had my man.

A few weeks ago, my man admitted to me he didn’t love me. He just saw me as a friend. This destroyed me. I was alone, and my mother was too far away to hug. I sat in bed crying and self-harming for two weeks.

Finally, something inside me snapped. I lost it, and I was ready to end it.

I was to afraid to draw that blade across my wrist so in a final attempt I sought out help on the internet, and I came across this site. (www.TheHopeLine.com)

My HopeCoach helped me get through it and has sparked my passion to travel again! After I graduate I plan to travel the states on a journey to find myself and repair my soul!

-Liberty

For more information on loneliness including additional tips, causes, health risks, a loneliness quiz, and combating loneliness in marriage download our free eBook.

TheHopeLine Saved My Life

My mother was losing her mind. And I had no idea how to deal with it. On one hand, I hated her for not being strong enough to deal with something like this. On the other, I felt bad for hating her and wanted to do everything I could to save her.

I actually stumbled upon this website looking up ways to commit suicide.

And I am so glad I did. I connected with a HopeCoach and she listened…just the way I needed her to. At the time I was sitting in front of the computer with a bottle of Promethazine tablets in my hand. The HopeCoach was so understanding and she helped me to look at what I would be leaving behind if I died. It was an incredible thing she did for me. She even prayed with me.

The Hopeline saved my life.

Thank you!

-Mya

My Best Friend Committed Suicide

My best friend Alex committed suicide last month. I felt extremely horrible that I couldn’t help him soon enough. I got to talk to a HopeCoach, and she helped me a bunch. She told me to make a legacy for him, to find new friends, keep my head up. I’m starting on a scrapbook of Alex and I. I’m also able to talk to our friend Rich. I’m planning on meeting new people and creating new friendships. Alex will also be in my heart and on my mind every second of everyday. He wants me to be happy, so I’m doing that. I loved speaking with the HopeCoach I got matched up with. Thank you.

What To Do When You Feel Suicidal

by Dawson McAllister

Do You Feel Suicidal Right Now?

These four interventions could save your life or the life of someone you love when they or you feel suicidal.

I know life can be hard and problems can pile so high that we cannot see a way out. I want to give you some practical ideas to try when you are at the depth of despair and feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. When you feel suicidal please try these four steps.

When you have lost hope and believe suicide is the only way out, please try these four ideas:

1. Reach Out for Help

I understand that finding the strength to do this can be really hard, especially if you also feel alone, but people are available to help.

Call or chat with the Suicide Prevention LifeLine at 1-800-273-8255 or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Call your Contract For Life Partner

Every person who is even remotely thinking of suicide needs a Contract For Life partner. Click To Tweet

What is a Contract for Life Partner?
Every person who is even remotely thinking of suicide, should have a Contract For Life partner. A Contract For Life partner is someone you trust and who understands you. This is someone you make a commitment to that says,

I promise that if I have serious thoughts of killing myself, I will talk with you or with someone else I trust before I do anything destructive.

John is a survivor and here is his advice, “Don’t keep quiet if you are going to hurt yourself or others…please speak up. If you are feeling suicidal then talk to someone, don’t keep quiet about it. There is someone out there who will listen to you.” You can read his full story here.

Keely said she has an older friend she calls when she feels suicidal thoughts coming on: I told her everything. And I told her that I need her help. Sometimes I just call to hear her voice to know I’m not alone. Other times, I ask if we can get together. She doesn’t grill me, she’s just there for me.

A Contract For Life partner is priceless because you can meet with them face to face or talk on the phone anytime. If you do not have one, please make it a priority to go looking for one today.

2. Refer to your Safety Plan

Take time right now to print out the Prevention Checklist and fill in the blanks of the Suicide Safety Plan. Then when you are feeling hopeless pull out your plan and follow what you have written down.

3. Remove whatever can harm you at that very moment.

If there are guns, knives, and pills in your house, then RUN from your house. Get away from anything you can use to hurt yourself. This will buy you time to settle down and begin to think rationally. Some people are most suicidal when they are drunk. Have someone you know and trust clear all those things out of your house.

Wendalin said she was suicidal for over three years, but was helped by knowing she wasn’t alone: I had a friend who was there for me no matter what. I tried to push this friend away so many times, she took away the knifes and scissors I’d cut with, my Dad’s diving knife, my grandpa’s gun, and the hose and rope so I couldn’t hang myself. Even though I was so mad at her for it, I knew she cared and that she really did love me.

At your darkest hour reach out for help. #suicideprevention Click To Tweet

Glory wrote: I tried a couple times but it never really worked. Then one night I realized something. If you can’t change it, get over it. There are much better things to do in life then sit around hating life. God gave us life so we should use it. Killing yourself is only running away from your problems. It won’t help one bit.

4. Turn to other Activities

The key here is to get your mind off of doing the unthinkable. If you are near suicide, you want to change the subject, or divert your mind from what you were planning to do. Walk, jog, bike, swim, take a nap, take a hot shower, watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, do household chores, clean, go shopping, go to the park, volunteer at an animal shelter for a few hours – An excuse to play with puppies? Yes please! Anything that has the potential to help you lift your spirit.

If you are near suicide, you want to change the subject, or divert your mind from what you were planning to do.

Kelsey discovered this worked for her: I actually went and got a knife to kill myself and I just stopped and I was thinking this really isn’t solving my problems is it? So I just decided to try to get into something like hip-hop classes, get my mind off my life, and just try to live life to the fullest.

There are many more articles on TheHopeLine regarding suicide and we want you to know you are not alone. You matter, you are good enough and you are loved.

You matter, you are good enough and you are loved. #suicideprevention Click To Tweet

For more on what to do if you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.

How To Help A Suicidal Friend

by Dawson McAllister

If you know someone who has thought about ending their life by suicide, you realize how hard it is to know what to say or do about it.

Are they just joking? Do they just want attention? Or is something serious going on? The truth is, most suicidal individuals give definite warnings of their suicidal intentions, but people around them are either unaware of the significance of those warnings or don’t know how to respond to them.

Kendra said she has thought about killing herself many times:

If I don’t have anyone to talk to once in a while, to get my feelings out, I get really sad, because I feel like no one cares about me. I think about what would people think if I was dead, or would they be happier without me? I’d hate to think Kendra, or someone like her, would kill herself because she feels no one ever showed her they cared. Perhaps you have a friend like Kendra who has said some things to you that sounded like she or he might be deeply depressed, or even suicidal. It’s very important to recognize those signs.

Most suicidal individuals give definite warnings of their suicidal intentions.

Here are some of the signs to watch for. A suicidal friend may:

Talk about suicide, death, and/or having no reason to live
Withdraw from friends or social activities
Experience drastic changes in behavior
Lose interest in hobbies, work, school, etc.
Give away prized possessions
Lose interest in their personal appearance
Express a deep sense of hopelessness
Increase in drug or alcohol use
A deep sense of serenity, or being at peace
Complain about being a bad person or feeling rotten inside

They may even be desperate enough to say something like…

If I killed myself, then people would be sorry
If I wasn’t around, no one would miss me
All of my problems will end soon
I won’t be a problem for you much longer
Nothing matters; it’s no use
I won’t see you again

Make sure you take any threat of suicide seriously.

So what can you do to help someone who has suicidal thoughts?

Get involved. Be available. Show interest and support.
Don’t be afraid to talk with them about suicide. Talking about it does not make it worse, but better. Be direct. Talk openly and freely about suicide.
Be willing to listen without judgement. Ask, “Tell me what you are feeling?”
Assure them that you understand that what they are feeling is very real to them, but that they are NOT alone.
Let them know you aren’t going to abandon them.
If they haven’t brought it up, but you are concerned they are thinking about suicide, ask them directly. Here’s an example how, “Sometimes when people feel they way you are describing they have thoughts of suicide. Is this true with you?” If they are, this gives them permission to talk about it and actually brings relief because someone else brought it up. If they aren’t, they will rush to assure you they aren’t.
Ask if they have a plan. If so, take them seriously and move quickly to get help. Remove anything that would help them carry out their plan guns, drugs, alcohol, knives, etc.
Offer hope that alternatives are available.
Provide them with a list of suicide prevention resources.
Help them fill out the Suicide Safety Plan.

Things to Avoid Saying/Doing to Someone Talking About Suicide.

“I think you’re just bluffing. I don’t believe you.”
Don’t act shocked.
“You’re not serious. Your just looking for attention?”
It is not helpful to just rattle off a list of reasons to live without first listening to what they are feeling.
Don’t dismiss what they are feeling. It is very real to them.
Don’t be sworn to secrecy. Get support.

Nicole said her sister saved her when she felt suicidal: Because of her, I am still here. If you know anyone who you may think have depression or suicidal thoughts ask him or her if everything is okay and comfort them.

The Most Important Thing You Can Do

It is not so much about WHAT you say. The most important thing you can do is reassure your friend that you love them.

That’s what happened when Heather was feeling suicidal: I told [my friend] what was going on and he just kept telling me that he cared, that it wasn’t the right thing for me, that I had so much more to do with my life. But the thing that helped me was that he said he loved me. I had felt so alone and no one had told me that in awhile not even my mom. Remind your friend that no matter how awful their problems seem, they can be worked out, and you are willing to help.

Get involved. Be available. Show love. Click To Tweet

Please make sure you take any threat seriously from a suicidal friend. Of all the people who have died by suicide, 80% have given some kind of warning. A person who you feel is high risk for suicide should never be left alone, if even for a moment. Keep talking to that person, and stay with him or her. Don’t feel like you have to handle this on your own. Get help from individuals or agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention. We’ve also created a list of helpful blogs, videos, downloads and more which you can view here: Suicide Resources

Most times a suicidal person needs someone close to them to be a voice of hope. Amberly agrees: Sometimes all you need is to be loved and know someone is there to catch you when you are about to fall. You could very well be that voice of hope to someone you love. Your efforts might just save someone’s life.

You could very well be that voice of hope to someone you love. Click To Tweet

Why Do People End Their Life by Suicide?

by Dawson McAllister

The very idea that someone wants to die is frightening. As a result, suicide is not an easy topic to discuss for many people. But talking about suicide does save lives. If one person can be saved from suicide by talking about it with someone, it is worth it; especially if that someone is you.

I am amazed at the many powerful and wise comments I have received from you about suicide. I asked you to tell me why you think people contemplate suicide and you had some amazing insights. It is clear that it is usually not just one thing that compels someone to feel suicidal. You said it is a combination of a lot of things, including:

pain
loneliness
rejection
abuse
deep depression
guilt
depression
helplessness
hopelessness

More than anything, I believe people who live with suicidal ideation feel hopeless. They are hurting so badly and want nothing more than for the pain to end. Unfortunately, they cannot imagine the pain ever going away. They cannot see the light at the end of the very dark and lonely tunnel they have found themselves traveling down. Have you ever felt this way?

It is not uncommon for a person’s circumstances or their self-image to cause someone to think negatively about themselves. Often times, people consider suicide because they are unable to find any reason to make living worthwhile. They think their problems are unsolvable and they feel completely out of control. I believe first and foremost, hopelessness is a serious spiritual problem rooted in lies and faulty thinking. Anytime you believe lies about yourself, you are listening to the wrong voices.

Jennifer said suicide has been a daily struggle for the past nine years due to being sexually abused. “I feel like suicide is the only option I have left, the only chance at peace I’ll ever have. It’s as if something will always be missing and life will never be quite right.” There is no denying that the pain of sexual abuse can be tremendous. But the abuse is not Jennifer’s fault. She needs to find the hope that she can overcome this pain. Many people just like Jennifer have overcome abuse through talking about it with a professional counselor. She needs to learn how to stop punishing herself for her abuser’s actions.

Have you ever gone through something so painful you were convinced the pain was never going to go away? Many people who contemplate suicide say something like: I don’t want to die. I just want the pain to go away. They think, “Because I’m in intense pain today, I will always be in pain.” It is this kind of faulty thinking that can lead people down the path that leads to suicide.

Kas wrote: I think about suicide pretty much every second of the day. It seems like it’s my only choice anymore. I know it’s not the answer, but at times I just feel like I can’t move on with this life anymore.

If you are already living with suicidal ideation, it is important to remember that substance abuse only works to magnify these thoughts and behaviors. Alcohol makes depression worse, impairs thinking and judgment and increases impulsivity. There is no safety without sobriety. Additionally, coping skills like alcohol, drugs, self-harm, all fail – because they never address the actual root of the pain. They only serve to temporarily cover it up.

Jordyn wrote: Some people have suicidal thoughts because they want to escape the isolation, pain, and rejection from the environment surrounding them. Others simply feel they have reached a state of loneliness and depression in their lives to the point where their thoughts become so negative, they can’t find any other reason to live. They would rather not confront it because of the fear of hurt that comes along with it.I feel that when you go through times of depression and think about committing suicide, God is there by your side. He will not abandon you. It is only a matter of whether you reach out to Him through prayer that you will be free from these thoughts.

Mandy also wrote: “Part of the very reason people do what they do is because they have failed. Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION. And when people reach that level, just as my father did on the 18th of January 2016, it was a reminder that even the strong fall… “

Mandy said, Suicide is the result of irrational thinking in the illness of DEPRESSION Click To Tweet

Thank you, Mandy, for bringing to light the very serious issue of depression. Depression is a real illness and needs real meaningful help. To learn more about depression, please read this guest blog from our partner, Centerstone.

Even rock stars struggle with pain, depression, and suicide, but there is always HOPE. Check out this video by lead singer Jake Luhrs from “August Burns Red:”

For more on what to do if you are having suicidal thoughts or if you know someone who is considering suicide, check out TheHopeLine’s eBook: Understanding Suicide.