Ways to Mend Your Broken Heart
Whether you’re letting go of a toxic relationship or parting ways with a strong love that met bad timing, it can be difficult to move on. While you may be tempted to wallow in your pajamas and obsessively check your ex’s Snapchat story to see what they’re up to, that may not be the ideal way to mend your broken heart.
Finding positive self-care activities will be key to moving on from this relationship and finally feeling like yourself again.
1. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship. Give yourself a little bit of time to truly process what happened instead of avoiding the issues at hand. It’s okay to feel sad or angry – this is a difficult time. By working through your feelings now, you’ll come out of this situation stronger. Consider talking to someone you trust or journaling to work through your feelings about the end of this relationship.
2. Get rid of painful reminders. You likely have accumulated a lot of items that remind you of your ex. Return items that they have left behind and think about parting ways with reminders of your former partner like framed photos. If you are trying to feel better, but keep getting reminded of the breakup every time you see certain items around your house it will be difficult to move forward. Keep in mind these reminders might also be digital. Changing your phone’s lock screen from that adorable selfie with your ex to your pet or a photo with friends will keep you from dwelling on the breakup every time you use your phone.
Letting go of these painful reminders can feel really freeing as you work to move on.
3. Unfollow your ex on social media. Even if you both agreed to “stay friends”, seeing your ex posting about their fun adventures and moving on without you is never fun. Unfollowing your ex will keep those painful reminders out of your social feed so you can focus more on yourself. You can always follow them back later if you truly remain friends, but take a little bit of time for yourself first! Struggling to resist the temptation of checking their profile? You can always do a full digital detox and put your phone away for a while.
4. Make plans with friends. Going through a tough time alone can be difficult. Lean on your friends – that’s what your support system is for! They may have gone through a similar situation and can provide some helpful advice or could just be an ear to listen. It will also be a nice distraction to do something with a friend rather than sitting at home alone dwelling on your recent breakup. For self-care ideas, you can do with friends, read more here.
5. Address negative self-talk. We all have a tendency to criticize ourselves, but this can be especially true after a breakup. You might be thinking there is something wrong with you because someone else didn’t want to be with you. Or you might be down on yourself because this relationship ending means you won’t make some life goal you set for yourself, like wanting to be married by a certain age. However, negative self-talk can be very destructive, sometimes even contributing to using unhealthy means to change things about ourselves. The best way to address self-criticisms is to think about saying it to a friend. If your friend had their heart broken would you tell her it’s probably because “She’s too fat” or “She’s unlovable”? Of course not! We are much harder on ourselves than other people. Remember to be kind to yourself.
6. Find comfort during this uncomfortable time. When you are in a relationship, you often find comfort in your partner by venting to them after a long day of work or crying on their shoulder when you feel like you failed a test. But now that comfort isn’t there anymore. Take care of yourself during this difficult time by finding some comfort in other ways. And I don’t necessarily mean throwing on the sweatpants! Watching some episodes of your favorite show or cooking your mom’s traditional recipes can be a great way to feel comfort right now.
7. Find confidence. Any time you go through a breakup it can impact your confidence. While it might not be a good idea to dye your hair a crazy color or get an impulsive tattoo that you’ll regret later, making a few small changes to your look can give you a major confidence boost. You can also boost your confidence by improving a skill or finding a new hobby. Spend time exercising. Learn something new by doing online research or reading a book to connect with something your passionate about.
8. Prepare to move on. It’s important to take the time you need to heal before jumping into another relationship. But once you feel ready to move on it can help to do a little self-reflection first. Think through what went wrong with your previous relationship. Even the worst relationships can teach you something, like what you definitely DON’T want in a relationship. Make note of what qualities you are looking for in a future partner and what issues you have discovered are deal-breakers for you. Take this information with you as you begin the search for new love. If your relationship ended in betrayal or cheating, you might be feeling hesitant to trust someone again. Try to identify the red flags in that relationship and arm yourself with that knowledge as you begin dating again.
Those are the 8 self-care ideas to soothe your heart and mind after a breakup.
Breaking up with someone or having your heart broken is always difficult to move past. However, with the self-care tips in this post, you can avoid self-destructive tendencies and begin healing.
While it may feel impossible to move past this right now, you will feel better eventually and find love again. Be patient with yourself and remember that the pain you are feeling right now means the relationship was worth having, even though it’s not right for your future path.
About the author…
Erin Amborski is a self-care enthusiast and blogger. In her blog, Self Care Seeker, Erin helps women through their self-care journeys by writing about physical and mental health topics such as exercise, skincare, anxiety, etc. In today’s world with life’s daily stresses, we could all use a little more self-care.