There is value in being fearless and bold in the pursuit of your dreams. But for some guys, their dream is to date the most amazing girl they know to the point they don’t know when to stop pursuing this dream.
So let’s have an honest look at when it may be time to give up.
Signs it may be Time to Stop Pursuing a Girl
Many girls have a story of a guy who wouldn’t give up in his pursuit of her. In life, persistence often pays off. But when it comes to a guy pursuing a girl, it can be just plain confusing.
Danny wrote: There’s this girl who I really like. But I have no idea whether she likes me or not. Sometimes she acts like she does, but other times she doesn’t. I’m just confused.
Well, Danny – here are some obvious signs you should look for that it might be time to move on. But then keep reading for great tips on how to pursue a girl in an appropriate way.
12 Signs to Move On
- When she obviously avoids you
- If you show an interest in her, but she seems to ignore you
- She acts one way around you, and another way around her friends
- No longer responds to your calls/texts/emails/snaps
- She asks you to stop
- Or tells you you’re coming on too strong
- Your friends tell you to move on
- She talks to you about another guy she’s interested in
- If she seems bothered, irritated or angry at you
- Your self-esteem starts to suffer for it
- You start to think you are going crazy about the whole situation
- If you’re wondering if you should stop pursuing her, it’s probably time.
Skye wrote: People need to use the common sense the good Lord gave them. When something in your head tells you not to do something, don’t do it. You’ll thank yourself later.
Roy wrote: Everyone I knew early on told us it would never work out, but I stayed with her to prove them wrong. In the end it left me more broken and confused. Had I listened early on I would have saved myself a great deal of trouble and pain.
Most annoying guys are ones who are convinced they have to be with this one particular girl, even though they might not even really know her. These guys are usually so strongly attracted to something about this girl, that he thinks he’s in love before he even knows her.
Bottom line – if it is taking a lot of effort to get her interested and she is showing no indication she likes you, it is time to back off for both of your sakes.
Don’t let one girl determine your self-image.
I know you like this girl a lot, but you don’t want a relationship that is this much work. Create healthy boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are emotional markers that clearly define where one person ends and the other person begins. Healthy boundaries allow you to be free to be yourself, and not feel like your happiness is dependent on what another person thinks about you. This makes you confident and allows you to be comfortable around other people and develop healthy relationships going forward.
So how can you pursue a girl in an appropriate way?
Relationships take time to develop. You can’t force your way into someone else’s life.
First, just seek to be friends.
Give yourself time to get to know her. But even more importantly, give her time to get to know you. You deserve someone who is interested in you, as well.
Second, don’t act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are.
That’s a lot of pressure on a girl. She wants someone who is happy and confident in their own right.
Third, show her respect.
Most girls love to be pursued by a guy, or viewed as someone special. Most of the time they appreciate a guy’s persistence and confidence. But more than anything, a girl wants to be respected and valued. The more respect you can show as you pursue her, the better.
Give the Chase a Rest
If you stop pursuing her, and give the chase a rest, you might find out the answer you’re looking for. If she’s interested in you, she may try to find out where you’ve been. She might actually become more interested in you, because you’re not trying so hard. But you might also find that she doesn’t care that you’ve stopped pursuing her. That’s a good sign that you were pursuing the wrong girl. It’s probably time to take a break, and hope that you can get to know each other as friends over time.
Be yourself and be relaxed.
Be yourself, and be relaxed in your pursuit of your dream girl. Don’t act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are. Keep in mind there are plenty of girls in the world, some of whom will find you attractive and well worth their time.
Still trying to figure out if you should pursue her or not? Read my blog on Reading Mixed Signals.