There is value in being fearless and bold in the pursuit of your dreams. But for some guys, their dream is to date the most amazing girl they know to the point they don’t know when to stop pursuing this dream.
So let’s have an honest look at when it may be time to give up.
Signs it may be Time to Stop Pursuing a Girl
Many girls have a story of a guy who wouldn’t give up in his pursuit of her. In life, persistence often pays off. But when it comes to a guy pursuing a girl, it can be just plain confusing.
Danny wrote: There’s this girl who I really like. But I have no idea whether she likes me or not. Sometimes she acts like she does, but other times she doesn’t. I’m just confused.
Well, Danny – here are some obvious signs you should look for that it might be time to move on. But then keep reading for great tips on how to pursue a girl in an appropriate way.
12 Signs to Move On
- When she obviously avoids you
- If you show an interest in her, but she seems to ignore you
- She acts one way around you, and another way around her friends
- No longer responds to your calls/texts/emails/snaps
- She asks you to stop
- Or tells you you’re coming on too strong
- Your friends tell you to move on
- She talks to you about another guy she’s interested in
- If she seems bothered, irritated or angry at you
- Your self-esteem starts to suffer for it
- You start to think you are going crazy about the whole situation
- If you’re wondering if you should stop pursuing her, it’s probably time.
Skye wrote: People need to use the common sense the good Lord gave them. When something in your head tells you not to do something, don’t do it. You’ll thank yourself later.
Roy wrote: Everyone I knew early on told us it would never work out, but I stayed with her to prove them wrong. In the end it left me more broken and confused. Had I listened early on I would have saved myself a great deal of trouble and pain.
Most annoying guys are ones who are convinced they have to be with this one particular girl, even though they might not even really know her. These guys are usually so strongly attracted to something about this girl, that he thinks he’s in love before he even knows her.
Bottom line – if it is taking a lot of effort to get her interested and she is showing no indication she likes you, it is time to back off for both of your sakes.
Don’t let one girl determine your self-image.
I know you like this girl a lot, but you don’t want a relationship that is this much work. Create healthy boundaries for yourself. Boundaries are emotional markers that clearly define where one person ends and the other person begins. Healthy boundaries allow you to be free to be yourself, and not feel like your happiness is dependent on what another person thinks about you. This makes you confident and allows you to be comfortable around other people and develop healthy relationships going forward.
So how can you pursue a girl in an appropriate way?
Relationships take time to develop. You can’t force your way into someone else’s life.
First, just seek to be friends.
Give yourself time to get to know her. But even more importantly, give her time to get to know you. You deserve someone who is interested in you, as well.
Second, don’t act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are.
That’s a lot of pressure on a girl. She wants someone who is happy and confident in their own right.
Third, show her respect.
Most girls love to be pursued by a guy, or viewed as someone special. Most of the time they appreciate a guy’s persistence and confidence. But more than anything, a girl wants to be respected and valued. The more respect you can show as you pursue her, the better.
Give the Chase a Rest
If you stop pursuing her, and give the chase a rest, you might find out the answer you’re looking for. If she’s interested in you, she may try to find out where you’ve been. She might actually become more interested in you, because you’re not trying so hard. But you might also find that she doesn’t care that you’ve stopped pursuing her. That’s a good sign that you were pursuing the wrong girl. It’s probably time to take a break, and hope that you can get to know each other as friends over time.
Be yourself and be relaxed.
Be yourself, and be relaxed in your pursuit of your dream girl. Don’t act like your entire happiness depends on her realizing how wonderful you are. Keep in mind there are plenty of girls in the world, some of whom will find you attractive and well worth their time.
Still trying to figure out if you should pursue her or not? Read my blog on Reading Mixed Signals.
For more insight into the opposite sex download Relationship Advice for Guys.
When you go to kiss her for the first time and she gives you the back of her head you might as well not bother going on. Or when she friendzones you. I’ve had terrible luck with women my whole life and when they come out with that crap about wanting to only be friends, you might as well just say bye and don’t look back. It’s a lousy deal, but that’s the way it goes.
Had a female friend for over40 years she started seeing me every few days flirting showing huge interest I became romanticly interested asked her for a relationship she said I just want to be friends she was chasing me I don’t understand and am hurt
Say goodbye, non-verbally.
She was my student. I started talking to her. First she used to avoid me totally.
Then later she started to converse. I also realized she no more calls me “Sir”.
We never talk about study things or university things. In the earlier days of conversation she mentioned she felt scared of me.
However she doesn’t initiate conversation at all. I am the initiator always. She says she is reserved and shy.
If I dont talk, she wont ask me anything. She also thought I am arrogant. She thought i know about everything.
She laughs at my silly jokes, shares her personal stuff about her marriage concerns,
how she wants her life to be. Marriage scares her. And even mentions that if she likes someone,
she will never let the person know, rather person should figure out and send a marriage proposal.
By the way she never asks questions about me. She responds to everything I ask or comment on with a good mood.
Now I dont know how to go about it.
Please guide.
Just my 2 cents:
If she never asks questions about you, to me it’s a huge red flag. If a girl is interested she WILL ask you a lot of questions. The conversation should be 50/50 in questions, not your case, 100% you only.
Maybe you guys should share some more daily stuffs..it is easier for her to message you what she is having for dinner today than thinking of a topic to start a conversation.
She can be either super shy or see you as a really cool teacher that turns out is not mean and pretty chill. In my opinion, it’s the 2nd half.
You can either build on that friendship and see where it goes, or just say you like her lol. I agree with one of the points of the article: you need to stop “chasing”, especially if you’re the one initiating all the time.
Women with high interest…. Help you. They don’t issue ongoing indirect mixed messages. Cya!