How To Improve Your Self-Esteem & Build Confidence

If you struggle with hating yourself, you are definitely not alone. Our world is full of pervasive, negative messages that damage our self-esteem by diminishing our self-worth.

We see and hear things daily that are trying to convince us that we are:

  • Too fat
  • Too thin
  • Unattractive
  • Undesirable
  • Unlovable
  • Stupid
  • Damaged Goods

And the list goes on. But what’s the root of poor self-esteem? Why does your self-worth seem to have hit its lowest point? Truth is, there are a number of factors.

Why Do I Hate Myself?

Think about it: you’re constantly hearing those false “not _____ enough” messages from advertising.  Impossible images of perfection bombard us online, in magazines, or on TV every day. But even if you were completely unplugged, low self-esteem would still be hard to escape.

Poor self image also goes hand-in-hand with many mental illnesses (like eating disorders, depression, and anxiety to name a few) which are characterized by extreme guilt, shame, and hopelessness. All of those emotions, when unchecked, tear down our self-esteem.

Often low self-worth and self-hatred are rooted in trauma, such as the verbal and emotional abuse of a family member, close friend, or ex.

If you’ve lived with someone who makes you feel terrible about yourself and who has convinced you that everything is your fault, those beliefs can persist even if the toxic or abusive person is no longer in your life.

With so much tearing us down, it’s no wonder people begin to believe the lies that drive low-self esteem lower.

The Truth Will Set You Free

You need to understand that poor self-esteem is completely based on lies.  The path to a more joyful self-image is learning and believing the truth about who you are.

Take a moment to consider what those who love you say about you. Remember you are your own worst critic. Ask those who know and love you how they see you. Undoubtedly, you will be encouraged!

It is also crucial to know and believe the truth about what your creator says about you. God created everything good – and that includes you (Genesis 1:9,12,18, 21, 26). He created you to “have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Praying and meditating on how God sees you and your life can help you rethink your self-worth.

With God you are:

Chosen (Ephesians 1:4)

Loved (John 3:16)

Forgiven (Colossians 1:13)

A Masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10)

Strong (Psalm 18:35)

Beautiful (Psalm 139:13-14)

Accepted (Romans 15:7)

You Can Do This

There is strength in knowing you can find help to build your self-esteem. Talking to someone is a great way to gain outside perspective and discover the connections between your false beliefs and your circumstances and figure out how to replace the false beliefs with the truth.

Every time you start in with the negative self-talk or you find yourself believing a lie about your worth, stop your thought pattern and correct it with the truth. Tape positive notes of truth all around you to remind yourself who you are and combat the lies the world throws your way.

It is time to let go of past shame and focus on your future. Believe you are worth it. God thinks you are.

Are you ready?

Gain greater understanding of your worth by searching our library of resources (including ebooks, podcasts, and blogs):

  • How do I improve my self-worth after being abused?
  • How does addiction affect my self-esteem?
  • Can I get my self-esteem back if I cut or harm myself?
  • What does the Bible say about my worth?

FAQ on Self-Esteem:

Is it Normal to Feel Shame?

Feeling shame is often confused with feeling guilt. Guilt is the feeling of “I did something bad”. Shame, on the other hand, goes deeper, and makes you feel like you ARE a bad person. Shame is a normal and relatable feeling, but it’s important to be open about it and get help managing it with someone you trust. Otherwise, it can spiral into depression and hopelessness.

Learn more

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