Friendships are one of life’s greatest joys. Finding someone we can share our heart with — someone who understands and accepts us just the way we are, is priceless. When we can have deep friendship with someone from the opposite sex, it is a tremendous gift. There is so much to learn and respect about both genders. But at times these opposite sex friendships can also be a great challenge. One of the most exciting, but frightening, barriers a friendship faces is when one person falls in love with their best friend of the opposite sex. The feelings are so intense, and the fear of revealing them can be paralyzing.
One of the most exciting, but frightening, barriers a friendship faces is when one person falls in love with their best friend of the opposite sex.
The Gut-wrenching Challenges to Secretly Loving your Best Friend
Laura reveals the gut-wrenching challenges she’s facing being secretly in love with her best guy friend: It’s been really hard because sometimes it seems like he likes me and sometimes it seems very obvious that we’re just friends. It’s torn my heart up on several occasions. I’m currently trying to get over him, because it’s just too hard to love him from a distance. I don’t want to lose our friendship as we’ve been through a lot together in the years we’ve known each other, but I’d rather save my heart for someone who I know is going to give me his heart fully in return.
It’s okay to have feelings of love because of the trust you share with your best friend, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are in love.
It’s okay to have feelings of love because of the trust you share with your best friend, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are in love. But it does mean you have the ingredients to develop awesome love which could turn into great marriage. Someone once said great friends make great lovers. The longer you’re friends, the more stable your relationship is going to be.
A lot of good friends can do things that romantic partners cannot. Friends usually say what they need to say to each other without fear, and good friends are more likely to be spontaneous with their activities.
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How To Find A Meaningful Relationship
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Two Warnings if You Think You Are In Love With Your Best Friend
When you start to feel you are desiring more than just a casual friendship with your best friend and you’re not sure what to do next, let me offer you some advice that could strengthen both your relationship and your love for each other.
First, don’t rush into a romantic relationship with your best friend…many times people confuse love with that other kind of caring love you feel for all of your other friends.
Don’t rush into a romantic relationship with your best friend…many times people confuse love with that other kind of caring love you feel for all of your other friends.
Second, you might feel like you have to spill your guts/all your thoughts and feelings to the other person as soon as you start to feel something. That’s usually a mistake.
Javier agrees: This girl and me have known each other for nearly seven years and we have been close friends for about three. Eventually, we did start liking each other and we went out for a month and a few weeks. After that relationship ended, I didn’t feel very hurt or sad. It was odd. I found myself being freer and I got to thinking: Don’t rush into [a romantic] relationship with your best friend…many times people confuse love with that other kind of caring love you feel for all of your [other] friends.
Find another good friend you can trust, someone with whom you can verbalize your deep emotions about your best friend with whom you are in love. This other friend will help you continue to show the self-control of letting a good friendship grow into an even deeper friendship. Hold your emotions, get them out in a healthy way with another friend. Why chance ruining a good thing, at least for now?
Friendship IS the start of a Real Romance
On the other hand, after you’ve been a good friend with him/her for some time, you should be able to read their moods. You should be able to get some sense as to whether or not the friendship has developed into more of a romance for him/her, as well as yourself. If you see these signs, you might want to begin to talk about them with the good friend you so deeply love. After all, good friends should be able to talk about nearly anything.
I think Jane has a great perspective: The only time I would recommend someone reveal their feelings is if they are SURE it is mutual. A really honest friendship will often develop into love without any conscious effort. And if he doesn’t love you, isn’t having a REAL, HONEST, CARING guy friend better than a boyfriend that might leave you at any moment? Friends are people who you don’t have to constantly worry about leaving you for no reason. And if he cares for you and stands up for you, he already loves you in a way already.
First and foremost, good friends should know how much each person values the other. We make the mistake of demanding that many of our relationships be all or nothing romantically. Whether the good person you are in love with ends up marrying you or not, you have had the joy of experiencing real love.
Real Love
Real love is rich, pure and self-sacrificing. To experience that kind of love with anybody is a priceless gift. May God bless you as He shows you whether your best bf/gf will become your life’s partner. In the meantime, enjoy the moment, they seldom come.
More Resources:
Still wondering if it is real love? Read How To Know It’s Really Love.
Need some ideas on how to begin dating one another? Download this free eBook.
Hi this platform is realy helpful and as well amazing i just opened up to my best friend i’m in love wit her but she is
What if I’m a girl and I love my best friend so much, I always want them to be happy and safe and it’s so intense not like the love for my other friends and she is a girl too, she doesn’t know I’m lesbian because I’m not sure about it yet, but I will talk to her about it because we tell eachother absolutely everything but I’m too afraid that she will be shocked and she will be freaked out but I don’t know if it’s the same the other end, please send help
I am kind of going through the same thing. My friend knows I’m bi and I know that she likes girls too, but I don’t think she’ll ever have a crush on me. Every time I muster up the courage to tell her, I don’t end up doing it. So, if I were you, try to figure out if you are a lesbian or at least if you are attracted to other girls before you tell her. I know I might be too late or not, but I still wanted to show you that there is someone else out there in the same situation and someone else out there who is rooting for you, if you do end up wanting a relationship with her.
To tell you something about my story: When I was 13, I started feeling a weird attraction for girls and I kept pushing it farther and farther away until one of my best friends came out to me as pansexual. As soon as she told me, I started feeling a bit more open about it, but I have only told my friends now, at 16. So, for the past 3 years, I have been secretly in love with my best friend and only now does she even know I swing that way. I’m still trying to figure out whether I even like her that way or not, but I’m always jealous about everything even if she doesn’t have an S.o. and my heart always beats faster when she’s around, and she always is. So, try to figure out if you are attracted to girls and then try to figure out if you even like her. I know it’s a hard process, but try your best because it could result in a great relationship or stay an amazing friendship.
I hope this may have helped you a little. Good luck!
I am going to be blunt here. The Friend Zone is a bunch of bull. It cheats us out of potential great relationships and men and women cannot have prolonged best friend relationships for very long without one person falling in love because it isn’t natural for men and women just to be friends. If you are developing feelings you have two options. Tell them and run the risk of losing the friendship because it can never be the same after that (though they may have feelings as well) and then you may have to distance yourself for awhile or sit back in silence and never tell them and everytime they talk about a boyfriend/girlfriend it cause you pain or every time you want to hold their hand it destroy you. Also if they are seeing someone else actually that isn’t cool either because it is doing a disservice to the relationship they are in.
The same thing is kinda happening with me and my bestfriend we have been best friends since elementary school and when I met him yea I had a tiny crush on him but then we became friends and it disappeared but over the years we hangout talk as usual but I started getting butterflies when ever I seen or talked to him it was small at first but now somethings different I can’t go out on dates I can’t talk to other guys romantically I started dating this one guy and it didn’t work out because I had feelings for someone else but I didn’t know who it is until I met up with My bestfriend and we talk I looked into his eyes and I realized. I am in love with him I don’t want any other guy in the world I want him and idk what happened but the way we act and talk it feels like we are dating already like we belong together I guess but idk I don’t really understand it at all. All I know is I love him and that’s it