What To Do When You Hate Yourself - 5 Tips

1. Do You Truly Hate Yourself?

Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. Last week I wrote about some of the reasons why people hate themselves. I want to give you some things to do when you feel like you hate yourself and you say things like, "I hate myself, I'm no good, I'm so stupid, or I'm worthless."

The truth is you are NONE of those things. But it's easy to think you are, especially if you have been believing all these negative thoughts about yourself.

So, what do you do to climb out of the dark hole in your soul?

2. Decide what you want to change about yourself

Nobody can make you love you other than you! It's your responsibility to rearrange your thinking away from all the negative stuff you've been thinking and think more positive thoughts about yourself. It's often been said, "If I think better, I will act better. And if I act better, I will feel better."

Cody wrote: I've found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self-hate is born.

It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. But try it! And if you stick with it, you soon will see you're feeling better about yourself.

If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today.

3. Figure out what you CAN change and do it!

IF you hate yourself, is there a specific thing that you hate? If you don't like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today. Maybe you don't like your weight you can start eating properly and getting exercise TODAY! Get involved with a sport or a favorite hobby. You'll be amazed by how good it makes you feel to take care of yourself.

Don't obsess over what you think are your flaws. Work on what you can change and ask God to help you accept the rest. Create the healthy life you desire (and deserve!) some people get trapped living miserable lives, not realizing they have the ability to change their situation. Don't get stuck in that trap!

4. Build up your self-esteem by making a list of your 10 best qualities:

Can't think of 10? There are more than you think but try starting with one. For example, I am a loyal friend or I care about others, or I am in touch with how I feel, or I have a lot to offer my friends, or I am a good listener, etc.

Find out what your friends and family value about you. You might be surprised to find out what the people who love you see in you! As you begin to dwell on the good things you offer, your confidence will grow.

Others will take note of it because you will have made yourself more attractive.

Betsy wrote: Since I stood up for something, people started to respect me and I was able to find confidence in myself. You can't please everyone, so focus on making yourself proud before you expect anyone else to be proud of you.
Each day, find something to do that makes you feel proud of yourself. Discover the things you love, try new things, go to new places. Make some short-term and long-term goals.

Decide that you will never say the words, "I Hate Myself" ever again. Those words are toxic. Why hate yourself? When in reality there is a lot in you worth loving.

5. Use gratitude as a weapon against self-hatred

You will find people who dwell on the positive things in their life...things for which they are grateful, are usually much happier than those who don't.

Negative thoughts, mixed with worry, make a person miserable to live with.

So, if you are tired of hearing the same old, negative thoughts, make a daily list of the things you are grateful for, and you'll be surprised at how quickly your attitude begins to change.

Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel grateful for that day...maybe it was delicious pancakes for breakfast, a smile from a friend, nice weather, could be something as simple as the color of the grass, or a good grade on a quiz. It doesn't have to be what you know you should be thankful for, but something that you actually feel grateful for.

Remember God loves you

The most powerful way to overcome self-hate is to focus on God's love. After all, if God loves you, and He does with all of your faults and hurts, it should make it easier for us to accept ourselves. Let God change what He wants to change, and you'll feel much better about your life.

God made you very unique. And it's this uniqueness that makes you special.

Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Angie wrote: It's very easy to find reasons to believe I am of no value to anyone, or to God. But I am of value because God loves me, even if no one else does.

As you start believing in yourself more, you'll have more good days than bad. It's easy to find the negative, so look for the positive in each situation. And most importantly, keep your faith in God this will help lead you to the happiness you seek. Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!

Don't stay in that place of self-hate, it's going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it's possible.  Check out one of my other blogs about self-hate: Why Do You Hate Yourself.

And check out this blog to start to begin to change this part of your life: 6 Steps To Change Your Life.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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432 comments on “What To Do When You Hate Yourself - 5 Tips”

  1. I'm adopted and I have felt the same way. It's a lifelong struggle but it is worth fighting for my happiness. <3 I'm doing a lot better now and I totally understand the feeling of not belonging. Band has helped me to feel like i belong, and my family is so much nicer than they used to be. I'm so grateful for having this struggle, it has helped me become much wiser and stronger.

  2. I am Raphaela,i am 15 years old and i am really sad because i hate myself.Not because i feel fat or ugly but because i dont care about myself.For example i dont want to eat or laugh(however if i laugh i just dont like it,i think it makes me stupid)or care about my school grades.i am not special,i am just a person like others.Sometimes i care more about others than myself.I dont have purposes and i dont know what i want to do or be.I also really like talking with people or going for walks.Friends are the most important for me.

  3. i hate my body, it's not about how I LOOK OR IF I'M FAT, I just hate my body and my life now in general...it was sooo good and peaceful and happy before and now everyhing has chage, AND I JUST HATE CHANGE IN GENERAL, changes in my life, my body evrything has to do with change,
    especially when i'm about to change my classes, my friends, people who imeet, everybody is going to judge me, i just want tobe normal and go bak to my OLD SELF, it's just no fair and I don't deserve this, I'M JUST A KID.

  4. For years I've been called loads of names like ;
    -ugly
    -fat
    -stupid
    -annoying
    -wannabe
    -fake
    -teachers pet
    -poor
    -e.c.t
    As much as people try to help I still hate myself and it doesn't help that I'm the ugliest in my class. All of my class are around the same height and I'm the tallest so it's easy for me to feel shut out. It's hard because nobody understands and I'm starting to consider taking my life
    Somebody please help me

  5. I don't even know why I came to search up this stuff.. I just found myself for more then a year already daying that I hate my life, pulling out my own hair, drinking until I don't understand anything anymore.. I am a lucky girl, atleast that is what everyone says, I have more then alot of people could even dream of. Maybe that is my problem.. It is not at all that I hate myself or my life, I am just bored with myself and.. I just don't know

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