Do You Wonder Why You Hate Yourself Even When Others Like You?
It’s so tragic to hear someone say I hate myself. But down deep, many people do. Do you hate yourself? It seems there are so many things in this world that attack our self-esteem and sense of worth. Some people, perhaps even you, are locked in their own personal jail, full of self-loathing, desperately wanting to get out, but not believing they can.
Can You Relate To Caroline?
Others may think you are just crying out for attention. But the feelings are very real. You are miserable because of how you feel about yourself, even if it sounds exaggerated or overly dramatic. I believe you.
Caroline described her self-hatred like this: For a while I hated myself because I thought I wasn’t good enough to be in this world. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and weird. I wished I could have been someone else.
So why do people hate themselves?
We took a poll on my website, and asked what reasons you might have to hate yourself. The majority of people said it was something about their appearance, followed closely by I didn’t feel loved, and then I failed at a relationship. Each of these could be their own articles.
For now, let’s examine what I see to be some of the greatest causes of self-hate.
Blame Ourselves When Bad Things Happen
When ba
d things happen, we often blame ourselves. It’s easy to let this blame turn into self-hatred and suck the very life out of us. This can leave us depleted of any kind of self-worth or love. When bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is spiral down into self-pity.
Sometimes self-hate is emotional exhaustion from the blame game. It’s important to remember that painful, challenging, and hard times are going to happen. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and get some rest. You will look much better to yourself when you get some rest and forgive yourself for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.
Rejection or Abandonment
Everyone will experience rejection of some sort. It’s normal. But it’s difficult. Not everybody is going to love you, or accept you.
But it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, and that you should hate yourself because of it.
Not everybody is going to love you, or accept you. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. Click To TweetTom wrote: I used to live consumed with thoughts about what everybody else was thinking about me. I felt like people were constantly rejecting me. All the worst things came to mind, even though there was no way of actually knowing what people were thinking. I had to quit, or else I’d go crazy.
Sometimes when people experience rejection or abandonment, they turn the responsibility onto themselves, as if they are the ones who caused the pain. Don’t let what other people think about you determine what you think of yourself. The freedom you experience when you let go of this burden, like Tom did, will give you great joy. He’s right, it’s not worth going crazy over something you really can’t control.
Related Posts:
5 Amazing Reasons Why You Matter
Confessions of a Dyslexic Pretty Girl
‘Identity’: A Chat with Christian Recording Artist Colton Dixon
Negative Self-Talk
Thinking poorly about yourself is is kind of like self-rejection. You see something about yourself that you think is stupid or ugly and you think criticizing yourself about it will somehow make it go away. It won’t. It will actually make it worse. A lot of people feel ugly. Lazy. Inadequate. It’s like the whole human race suffers from deep, low self-esteem.
Mona wrote: I hate who I’ve become. I know there is a hardworking, honest, skinny person inside me somewhere, but most of the time I think about how far to the negative I’ve come, then get even angrier at myself for not working harder to become the person I know I can be.
So what can you do to feel better about yourself?
The Fight Against Self-Hate
The fight against self-hate is an on-going battle in all of us. Some struggle with it more than others. But it seems to always be there working in the shadows, waiting to pounce on us, and take us down. One thought that has helped me in this struggle is God’s love for me.
I ask myself, “Why should I hate someone God loves so much? Why should I slap Him across the face? He’s the one who made me, and He did it for a very special reason.” There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn’t that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.
There's no one else in the whole world who's just like you or me. That person, YOU, is worth loving. Click To TweetLooking for some practical thought and advice? Check out our next post about no longer hating yourself!
Well i certainly don’t hate myself which i really hate God for punishing me by not giving me a good wife and family that i really wanted instead of being a single and very lonely man today. It would’ve been really great for a good single man like me to have a good woman to share my life with since so many billions of other people in this world have really been very blessed and lucky to have that which really makes their life so very much complete. And being a single man has a lot of disadvantages unfortunately since we really are all alone wherever we decide to go which is no fun at all either. Try eating out in a restaurant for example all by yourself, and most of the time we feel like an outcast since people will stare at you like you really don’t belong there. Most people are very rotten in this world anyway the way that i look at it unfortunately. God created just too many very evil and nasty women nowadays too which makes it very hard for many of us good single men looking for love. There are times when we will get Cursed at by these women for No Reason at all when we will just try to start a normal conversation with them by just saying Good Morning Or Hello to hopefully get to know them better. And i already had this happened to me already and so have other friends that i know as well. And it is a real shame that God didn’t create women like the good old days when Most of the women in those days were certainly Real Ladies and the very complete opposite of today which it definitely would’ve been very easy meeting a good woman to settle down with. I will certainly admit that being single really does suck altogether since it really has many disadvantages like i mentioned already. A very bad time for many of us good men trying to find love these days since we really can Blame the type of women out there that God created today unfortunately.
Seems like the common denominator in the problems you described is yourself. You need to do a personal inventory and some serious self-reflection before you can expect to find a meaningful relationship.
The way you talk about women is disgusting and ill-willed. You should start your self-reflection with that.
Sincerely,
“good men”
I hate myself because I feel like no one likes me.
I hate myself because I don’t feel like I am being loved.
I hate myself because I blame on others too often.
I hate myself because my English is not good and I let my parents down.
I hate my family because they can’t give me anything.
I hate myself because I can’t accomplish anything.
I hate myself because I can’t have what I want.
I hate myself because my emotions control me too much.
I don’t think I hate myself because I do not;
I just hate that life didn’t give me the amount of care that I needed.
I hate myself because I like being different and nobody cares about me being different.
I hate myself because I can’t do what I want to do.
I hate myself because I set goals that I can not achieve.
I hate myself because I can’t get all A’s in all my classes.
I hate myself because I don’t feel like doing homework.
I hate myself because no one compliments me on anything I do when others feel like it’s my nature to compliment them.
I hate myself because everything is always because of myself.
No, I don’t hate myself; I hate others.
i hate myself because Im always in a middle of the fight
i hate myself because of my low grades for Chinese
i hate myself because i let my parents down
i hate myself for being scared to lose friends
i hate myself because i cant control my emotions
i hate myself because i cant tell anyone in the world about my TRUE feelings
i hate myself because of that Im not skinny
i hate myself because i cant stand up for myself
i hate myself because Im too weak with my words
i hate myself because Im too nice
i hate myself because i lost my best friend
i hate myself because i don’t know what to do when i am so stressed and sad
i hate myself because i made friends with people who do self harm
i hate myself because i get 0 support
i hate myself because i cant get any hope most of the times
i hate myself because my friend that i can only really open my self to is far away from me
i am disappointed with my parents because they give me no support
i am disappointed with my parents because they are really biast
i hate my friends because they don’t support me
i hate my friends because they get mad at me when i support them and they get mad at me when i dont
i hate my teachers because they only like the most smartest students
i hate my life because i’m not sure about my career
i hate myself because i cant do anything
i love myself because i can at least have some minutes a day to look at BTS
i love myself because i respect everyone
i love myself because i know who i am
i wish i can have someone to tell my feelings
I spend time helping people, but I get hurt in return and get told bad words, everything I have done or said has been twisted.. That’s why it hurts a lot, I never been hurt, what if what they say about is true…My hard work base been flashed to the toilet… Every thing use dark..I never been in a such place..
” There is no one else in the whole world who is just like you or me. Isn’t that incredible? That person, YOU, is worth loving.”- Such powerful words! Thank you for this reminder. It is really possible to overcome this low self esteem. maybe it takes a long period of time and its difficult. But it is really possible. You just have to do it.
I hate myself.
I’m ugly I wish I was never born.
We see beautiful thing everyday in a sunset or a sunrise or a moon lite night.
When I look in a mirror I scream WHY GOD this is how you made me look, just take me back and fix it
make it right please or just take me home. Started at age 9 now I’m 50 always single
The feeling is pure sadness, empty, defeated, it’s hard being positive when you feel
left out like you’ve missing something great. People can’t see inner beauty or the inner US or confidence at first .
They see US, an feeling or looking unattractive doesn’t help.
If you where GOD I’d ask with all that there is WHY?
I love all of this world I like my mind and I love my family but I hate my voice, I hate my face, I hate my body.
WHY?
I hate myself because I’m allowing myself to be used by someone I feel sorry for.
I have allways hated myself God even hates me I don t want to be here
Barbara, God loves you just the way you are. You are valuable and worthy in His eyes. It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.