Help! I'm Looking for My Self-Worth Sexually Online: EP 38

I Do Things with Guys to Feel Good Enough

Mikayla shares with us her struggles with self-worth. She says, “I’ve been struggling with some self-worth issues. I tend to look for my self-worth in guys. I’ve recently moved here, so I don’t have a home church and I don’t have any friends yet. I don’t know how I can be held accountable for not going and doing things with guys in order to feel good enough. I don’t know how to hold myself accountable for that if I don’t have any friends to do so.”

Acting Out Sexually is a Great Thrill but a Horrible Chill

Mikayla needs accountability to keep her from acting out sexually online with guys because the acting out is a great thrill but a horrible chill, all at the same time. After acting out, she always comes back empty wanting more. She needs help so she’s not trapped on the terrible slope she’s headed for now…being used by guys to feel better about herself.  Then she needs to ask herself, Why is my self-esteem so low and how can I see it get lifted? And that’s the hard work. We can’t get to the hard work yet, because all the acting out is making matters worse.

Peer to Peer: Advice Needed for Mikayla

How can Mikayla get accountability help? Where should she go and who should she turn to? How can she work on her self-worth, so she doesn’t have to keep turning to guys to feel good about herself?  Edith, Brandon, and Savannah had awesome advice, feedback, and encouragement for Mikayla. Let’s find out what they had to say.

The One Who Hung the Stars Loves You

As Edith was waiting to speak with Mikayla, she prayed and asked God to guide her in what to say to Mikayla. Edith says, “I’ve been exactly where you’re at, looking for love, looking for that acceptance, and looking for that one thing that makes me feel good. The thing that keeps coming to my mind is the one who hung the stars, loves you and He picked you. He says you are beautiful, and you are perfect. It does not matter anything in your past, because He forgives all. He knows all about it and also knows all about your future. He has a plan for you. He is stronger and mightier than any weakness you may have. Picture Jesus in your moment of weakness and in your moment of desperation…picture Jesus. You have to know He loves you and the easiest way to do that is to picture Him. He will fulfill every desire, beyond your wildest dream. He’s all you need. It’s so hard in that moment of weakness, in the moment you want to give in to those fleshly desires, it’s so hard to remember that. But if you can keep His picture, turn your whole mind and picture Jesus and say, “Jesus, I need you.” Jesus is saying back to you:Mikayla, I love you and I hung the stars for you. You are all that I’ve ever wanted. You are perfect just the way you are.” He wants you to know that, but you have to let him in and let that knowing invade your life.

Edith prayed for Mikayla: “Lord God, I lift up Mikayla right now. I ask that you pour out your love on her and you pour out your abundance. Lord God show her what you look like and show her what she looks like. Lord God just absolutely cover her in your grace and your mercy. I thank you for all the people, everybody in her life that you’re going to send towards her, that’s going to show your love. In Jesus Name, Amen.”

Pray and Believe

Brandon says to Mikayla: pray about it. If you pray about it, and you believe God is there, He will help you to get through these feelings. Brandon shared Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He says, God doesn’t want any of His children going through something like that and so, if you just pray and believe it, the Holy Spirit will come down and help you face those temptations.

Brandon recommends a song to Mikayla called, “Priceless” by the Christian band, For King and Country.

Mikayla, God Loves You Unconditionally

Savannah shares, “God has put it on my heart to tell you, Mikayla, God loves you so unconditionally. These guys will like you one day and the next move on. God’s love will never change for you. He’s never going to one day wake up and say, Oh you did something wrong, I don’t love you anymore. No, He is always going to love you. He loved us first and that’s why we love him. Don’t give up! Get connected with a church. I pray you hold on and know you have a whole bunch of people supporting you and praying for you. You’re really not alone through this.”

What advice would you give Mikayla?

I’m so proud of Mikayla for calling in. Edith, Brandon, and Savannah all shared with her about the love of God. God does love Mikayla deeply and loves you too. Do you have insight into how Mikayla can deal with her self-worth issues? Have you been in a similar place as she is…looking for your self-worth in someone or something other than God? Please share in the comments below!

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

We all deal with self-worth issues. Mikayla’s self-worth issues are leading her down a very destructive path which is why it’s so essential she get help and accountability to stop acting out and turning to guys. They can’t give her the fulfillment she’s looking for. Only God can do that. Through our peer to peer callers’ messages, it’s like the Lord’s putting His arm around her, saying you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to go to a dumpster to find a steak dinner. God is saying to Mikayla, “I’m your Father and I love you. I don’t want you to trash yourself and sin against your own body and mind. I’ve got a man for you and I’m going to get you ready for him.”

God is a God full of grace for Mikayla and for you. His grace is enough for whatever you are going through.

Resources for Self-Worth:

For help identifying self-worth issues and to find ways to stop hating yourself, download our free eBook: Understanding Self-Worth. In this eBook, there’s also: 10 ways to build a healthy respect for yourself and maintain it, 4 things not to do when trying to maintain a healthy self-worth, and there are also ways to help a friend dealing with self-worth issues.
We also have Verses of Hope When You Hate Yourself.
Also, check out my blogs to help you improve your self-worth:

You are not alone! Others struggle with similar doubts about themselves, and don’t think they are good enough. Here are some of their stories:

Need to talk to someone about how you are feeling, then: Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope! 

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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