Do You Truly Hate Yourself?
Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. Last week I wrote about some of the reasons why people hate themselves. I want to give you some things to do when you feel like you hate yourself and you say things like, “I hate myself, I’m no good, I’m so stupid, or I’m worthless.”
The truth is you are NONE of those things. But it’s easy to think you are, especially if you have been believing all these negative thoughts about yourself.
So what do you do to climb out of the dark hole in your soul?
Decide what you want to change about yourself
Nobody can make you love you other than you! It’s your responsibility to rearrange your thinking away from all the negative stuff you’ve been thinking, and think more positive thoughts about yourself. It’s often been said, “If I think better, I will act better. And if I act better, I will feel better.”
Cody wrote: I‘ve found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self-hate is born.
It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. But try it! And if you stick with it, you soon will see you’re feeling better about yourself.
If you don’t like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today.
It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. #hateyourself Click To TweetFigure out what you CAN change and do it!
IF you hate yourself, is there a specific thing that you hate? If you don’t like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today. Maybe you don’t like your weight you can start eating properly and getting exercise TODAY! Get involved with a sport or a favorite hobby. You’ll be amazed by how good it makes you feel to take care of yourself.
Don’t obsess over what you think are your flaws. Work on what you can change, and ask God to help you accept the rest. Create the healthy life you desire (and deserve!) some people get trapped living miserable lives, not realizing they have the ability to change their situation. Don’t get stuck in that trap!
Build up your self-esteem
Make a list of your 10 best qualities:
Can’t think of 10? There are more than you think, but try starting with one. For example, I am a loyal friend or I care about others, or I am in touch with how I feel, or I have a lot to offer my friends, or I am a good listener, etc.
Then add to the list.
Find out what your friends and family value about you. You might be surprised to find out what the people who love you see in you! As you begin to dwell on the good things you offer, your confidence will grow.
Others will take note of it because you will have made yourself more attractive.
Betsy wrote: Since I stood up for something, people started to respect me and I was able to find confidence in myself. You can’t please everyone, so focus on making yourself proud before you expect anyone else to be proud of you.
Each day, find something to do that makes you feel proud of yourself. Discover the things you love, try new things, go to new places. Make some short-term and long-term goals.
Decide that you will never say the words, “I Hate Myself” ever again. Those words are toxic. Why hate yourself? When in reality there is a lot in you worth loving.
Use gratitude as a weapon against self-hatred
You will find people who dwell on the positive things in their life…things for which they are grateful, are usually much happier than those who don’t.
Negative thoughts, mixed with worry, make a person miserable to live with.
So if you are tired of hearing the same old, negative thoughts, make a daily list of the things you are grateful for, and you’ll be surprised at how quickly your attitude begins to change.
Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel grateful for that day…maybe it was delicious pancakes for breakfast, a smile from a friend, nice weather, could be something as simple as the color of the grass, or a good grade on a quiz. It doesn’t have to be what you know you should be thankful for, but something that you actually feel grateful for.
Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel #grateful for that day. Click To TweetRemember God loves you
The most powerful way to overcome self-hate is to focus on God’s love. After all, if God loves you, and He does with all of your faults and hurts, it should make it easier for us to accept ourselves. Let God change what He wants to change, and you’ll feel much better about your life.
God made you very unique. And it’s this uniqueness that makes you special.
Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!
Angie wrote: It’s very easy to find reasons to believe I am of no value to anyone, or to God. But I am of value because God loves me, even if no one else does.
As you start believing in yourself more, you’ll have more good days than bad. It’s easy to find the negative, so look for the positive in each situation. And most importantly, keep your faith in God this will help lead you to the happiness you seek. Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!
Don’t stay in that place of self-hate, it’s going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it’s possible. Check out one of my other blogs about self-hate: Why Do You Hate Yourself.
And check out this blog to start to begin to change this part of your life: 6 Steps To Change Your Life.
It doesn’t matter how good of a person you are, bad things happen to good people very second your not alone. stop being a fool and thinking god will save you, save yourself. you where born in a cruel world, the rich stay rich the poor are slaves and god does nothing.
Lewis, It sounds like you have gone through much in your life and you are hurting. We are not here to tell you that you are wrong…we are here to tell you that we care and that you matter in this world. The world can be very cruel and it is hard to understand why it is this way. We posted this article that may help you to understand: https://www.thehopeline.com/why-do-bad-things-happen/ If you want to talk a HopeCoach would be glad to listen at: https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/
This is a good site for folks. As a life long hater of myself which I am fine with, you should let folks know it’s ok to hate yourself. Like any life issue you just need recognize it and know it’s part of your core makeup. Once you know you hate yourself you can then Taylor your lifestyle to incorporate the hatred as an inherent attribute of who you are and you can then move ahead, otherwise you will be conflicted in pursuing something (happiness) that only exists on a spectrum very few if ever achieve, being fulfilled is rather the goal and hating oneself all along the way does not detract from fulfillment.
Thanks for Listening
I hate myself because my thoughts keep telling me to do bad things and I can’t control them. I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I don’t know how it got this bad. I don’t want to get up in the morning anymore. My thoughts keep telling me to hurt people I love. I rather kill myself than hurt anyone. I want to kill myself, but if I do I know my family will be so sad and they will blame themselves for my death. I know my mommy would be especially sad because she loves so much. Why is God letting me think like this? God was my best Friend. Now it feels like he told the devil to give me bad thoughts and see if I get up in the morning. Maybe I won’t get up in the morning. If I’m dead at least I won’t be wasting anymore air,food,money, or people’s time. That way my family can remember me for who I was.:(
Mary, Your family would be very sad. They care and want the best for you. You mentioned how much your mother loves you. Please give your mother a chance to help you by taking you to the doctor for help. It’s important that you talk to someone in your family about how you’re feeling. There is help for what you are going through and the thoughts you are experiencing. Your life matters and you have an incredible future ahead of you waiting. You can overcome these thoughts with help. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
I hate myself because I can’t live up to people’s expectations
I try my hardest every day but I just can’t
I just want my wife to be happy but she is angry with me every day
then forget your wife love yourslef
No I dont hate myself i HATE God
That’s DISGUSTING
Please don’t do that I have tried many times but came backward for others please dont do that I m still struggling and daily thinking of killing myself but thinking of others so but I don’t know how much I can bare it
It amazes me that people are feeling the same as me, in the same days. Well I have acne for 6 years, I hate it, I have been telling my mom to go to see a doctor since 5 years ago, I have never gone. I do not have money myself, so I cannot go on my own. I just recently moved to U.S and I do not have friends. We dunnot have money, so I applied for several job, but nobody has bother to make a darn call back. I want to work cuz i want to get rif of my acne with accutane. I know that is bad, but I am desperate, I cannot go 7 or 8 years with acne. I has taken from me things that I could never get back, and when I remember that It makes me feel even worse. Sometimes I cry cu I feel I am not loved enough. I feel my mom loves more my brother than me, and I am sure. My mom cannot love us the same just a the simple reason that we are not the same person. Just thinking its me the person that is less loved, makes me think why me, why not my brother? but i dont want to change that I want my brother to be loved, and dont want to take that from them, it just that if my mom has loved me properly since the beginning i would be find. Lately Ive been so stress, about how I look, more than ever, and acne is not making it good, I am crying because ive been thinking that I deserve to die, that i dont deserve the love not even from God. I just looked at the mirror crying, thinking to stamp my face to the mirror, I look at me, and my hands want to tear my face out. I just talked to my mom saying to help me, but she just ignores me. why can she help me? Im begging her what do i have to do. I wish i could love me mysel. In addition, I feel bad cuz I feel that I failed to BTS lol cuz i dont love myself right now. Well bye.
Please pray for me. Self hatred has been a lifelong struggle for me.
Margaret, You are not alone. You are loved deeply by the most high King. The Lord knows your struggle with self-hate and He is with you always. We will pray for you and we want to let you know if a couple of places that you can get additional prayer. We have a prayer site at http://www.theprayerzone.com. A prayer champion would love to pray for you there. We also have a Live prayer show on Facebook were a community of people will pray for you. Just go to http://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow
I don’t know what to do anymore, i just don’t wanna be here in earth i would rather just disappear from everyone FML
Dear Kaylee, You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
Girl I hate my life too, or feelings of hating my life is better than feeling hate for my self. I feel like my life’s on pause. All I do is work at a crappy job that barely gets me by. And at the end of the day I’m soo physically freaking drained I don’t have no time for anything, no self care, no friends nothing. My life feels waisted honestly and sometimes I wish it was better and I could have something to look forward to: I truly don’t know how to get these feelings out of my heart… I often spend time crying alone feeling sorry for my self because in all reality my life is a joke. I work soo hard, being at work doesn’t keep my mind from racing though. It’s always going.. and living with depression and anxiety is the worst way to live. If I was a selfish person I would love to end if all but I can’t give up… just wish I could wake up one morning and be happy to be alive
I want to kill myself. Please help me.
Dear Fabiana, You are valuable and worthy! It’s good you are reaching out to talk about this. We have some resources we can give you to help you with these thoughts. We have a partner that you can help you through this. We are emailing you with some information to help you so please check your email. If you need someone to talk to right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.8255 or chat online with them at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/. You can reach the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by texting “START” to 741-741 too.
Here is a list of additional suicide prevention resources https://www.thehopeline.com/suicide-prevention-resources.
I hate myself am stupid am dumb stupid ugly and worthless I have stitches I get bullied
What should I do when am sad,mad ,or when I hate myself
Lexi you could talk to somebody that you trust with your life don’t end your life because you have a great future in you life :,(