Do You Truly Hate Yourself?
Self-hate is a dark, black hole in our soul that can be easy to fall into, but difficult to get out of. Last week I wrote about some of the reasons why people hate themselves. I want to give you some things to do when you feel like you hate yourself and you say things like, “I hate myself, I’m no good, I’m so stupid, or I’m worthless.”
The truth is you are NONE of those things. But it’s easy to think you are, especially if you have been believing all these negative thoughts about yourself.
So what do you do to climb out of the dark hole in your soul?
1) Decide what you want to change about yourself
Nobody can make you love you other than you! It’s your responsibility to rearrange your thinking away from all the negative stuff you’ve been thinking, and think more positive thoughts about yourself. It’s often been said, “If I think better, I will act better. And if I act better, I will feel better.”
Cody wrote: I‘ve found that sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. And the way we think can hurt worse than any words. And when left with nothing but your own thoughts, and if those thoughts are negative, self-hate is born.
It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. But try it! And if you stick with it, you soon will see you’re feeling better about yourself.
If you don’t like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today.
It takes a real effort to turn negative self-defeating thoughts into positive life-changing ones. #hateyourself Click To Tweet2) Figure out what you CAN change and do it!
IF you hate yourself, is there a specific thing that you hate? If you don’t like something about yourself that you can actually change, start to do that today. Maybe you don’t like your weight you can start eating properly, and getting exercise TODAY! Get involved with a sport or a favorite hobby. You’ll be amazed how good it makes you feel to take care of yourself.
Don’t obsess over what you think are your flaws. Work on what you can change, and ask God to help you accept the rest. Create the healthy life you desire (and deserve!) some people get trapped living miserable lives, not realizing they have the ability to change their situation. Don’t get stuck in that trap!
3) Build up your self-esteem
Make a list of your 10 best qualities:
Can’t think of 10? There are more than you think, but try starting with one. For example, I am a loyal friend or I care about others, or I am in touch with how I feel, or I have a lot to offer my friends, or I am a good listener, etc.
Then add to the list.
Find out what your friends and family value about you. You might be surprised to find out what the people who love you see in you! As you begin to dwell on the good things you offer, your confidence will grow.
Others will take note of it because you will have made yourself more attractive.
Betsy wrote: Since I stood up for something, people started to respect me and I was able to find confidence in myself. You can’t please everyone, so focus on making yourself proud before you expect anyone else to be proud of you.
Each day, find something to do that makes you feel proud of yourself. Discover the things you love, try new things, go new places. Make some short-term and long-term goals.
Decide that you will never say the words, “I Hate Myself” ever again. Those words are toxic. Why hate yourself? When in reality there is a lot in you worth loving.
4) Use gratitude as a weapon against self-hatred
You will find people who dwell on the positive things in their life…things for which they are grateful, are usually much happier than those who don’t.
Negative thoughts, mixed with worry, make a person miserable to live with.
So if you are tired of hearing the same old, negative thoughts, make a daily list of the things you are grateful for, and you’ll be surprised at how quickly your attitude begins to change.
Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel grateful for that day…maybe it was delicious pancakes for breakfast, a smile from a friend, nice weather, could be something as simple as the color of the grass, or a good grade on a quiz. It doesn’t have to be what you know you should be thankful for, but something that you actually feel grateful for.
Challenge yourself to reflect each day for just a minute or two about what you feel #grateful for that day. Click To Tweet5) Remember God loves you
The most powerful way to overcome self-hate is to focus on God’s love. After all, if God loves you, and He does with all of your faults and hurts, it should make it easier for us to accept ourselves. Let God change what He wants to change, and you’ll feel much better about your life.
God made you very unique. And it’s this uniqueness that makes you special.
Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!
Angie wrote: It’s very easy to find reasons to believe I am of no value to anyone, or to God. But I am of value because God loves me, even if no one else does.
As you start believing in yourself more, you’ll have more good days than bad. It’s easy to find the negative, so look for the positive in each situation. And most importantly, keep your faith in God this will help lead you to the happiness you seek. Please stop hating someone God loves so much. YOU!!
Don’t stay in that place of self-hate, it’s going to take time to change what you think about yourself but it’s possible. Check out one of my other blogs about self-hate: What to Do When Your Hate Yourself.
And check out this guest blog to start to begin to change this part of your life: 6 Steps To Change Your Life.
Love is the greatest, no matter what is going on in your life, everyone was created through love. Without love we would never have been on this planet in the first place. All problems are illusion of the mind. No matter how much you hates yourself you can not changed your uniqueness even when you die your inner soul lives on.
“God made you very unique. And it’s this uniqueness that makes you special.”- Wow, powerful words! Definitely agree, God loves us so much. And we need to love ourselves too. Its not always easy to do that because of the negative thoughts but if we have God in our lives. We can do everything. We can love ourselves. We can love everyone else. And we can be genuinely happy. Thanks for this!
pointless and useless advice. if we were capable of just flicking a switch from hate to love we would have no problem. These feelings are so deep and have scared who we are so much recovery is not possible. The only hope for people like me is to present a facsimile of normality so I dont upset anyone even more then my existence already does. I am literally waiting from my parents to pass away so I can end this without causing any more misery to others.
Oh no, you have not found the answer yet!! It is out there and available to everyone who wants it. The answer is Jesus, he can and will turn your world right side up. He did it for me ,and he is no respector of persons. If you will seek him with your whole heart, you will most definitely find him, and once you do, your life will never be the same. Find out who you are in Him. You will be amazed.
I completely agree with you. People think its so eash to just decide to feel differently. I know exactly how you feel. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here.
I can’t even stand looking at myself and all of my failures. I hate who I am and that’s probably why I have no friends. Sometimes I just feel like I’ll never be good enough, for my parents or anyone who I love. I often search for inspiration and motivation, but it just never helps… My heart is broken and my life is a mess. There are so many things I have to achieve and do that I’m just sick of it… I hate being myself 🙁
Oh honey, have I got good news for you!! Jesus is waiting for you with arms wide open, ready to embrace you, and shower you with more love than you could ever imagine. All he is waiting for is you. He wants you to call on him, today. Do not wait another second. He loves you more than you can possibly realize. I urge you to call out to him with your whole heart, mind, strength and body, you will never be sorry. He will turn your life around, trust him, seek him, you will not go away hungry or thirsty, he is the fountain that never runs dry. I am so happy that I finally followed his leading to come here, now I see why, you were waiting to hear the good news, I am so sorry that I hesitated, forgive me Lord. I love you and God loves you more!!
If god loves us then why do we feel like this. There is no point in loving god when we can’t even love ourselves. How do we even know god is real? It’s nit like we can vent to him about our feelings and ask him to help us. It’s all false hope that will never happen
I think the best we can do is try to be there for others that feel like us. Just know that even though you feel alone, there are a lot of us that feel that way. Feel free to hit me up whenever you need someone.
I feel exactly the same as you. I hope we can both find peace.
I really hate myself these days, and this is only because I started to have a lot of facial hair and I feel so insecure. It is hard to leave my house, I just feel like sleeping all the time so I dont have to look at my face. The problem is that my facial hair is not that dark so I might not be able to remove it with laser and I dont even have money for it. I have a lot of hair even in my stomach area and hands and for a woman I think it is pretty dark. I just cant live with this body, waiting for my next life
Sara, We want you to know that you are beautiful just the way you are however we understand that you are feeling uncomfortable. Would you be open to signing up for an email mentor to help you through the issues you are having? It would be a woman that you can email back and forth with for as long as you like. You can talk about anything to them and they will listen, encourage and help you. To sign up for a mentor go to https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/
There has to be a way to deal with this, have you tried bleaching the facial hair? or talking to your dr about solutions? or researching it online for solutions? or trying the library for ideas? I really believe you can overcome this!!
Why don’t you just shave it it doesn’t come back worse
I hate myself. Every little thing I do I’ll twist in my mind in a negative way. Even writing this I’m thinking about how narcissistic I am for writing about myself. No matter what I do I’m still never good enough for myself. I’m planning on talking to my parents about this soon but I keep procrastinating, not because I’m scared but because I keep convincing myself it’s not important. I’m also struggling with figuring out my sexuality and one second I think I’m bi and the next I tell myself I’m only saying that for attention. I guess I just wanted to vent a little I hope you have a lovely day, bye.
Willow, We are glad you are venting. Talking about how you’re feeling is important. What you are going through is not narcissistic nor are you doing this for attention. You are searching and trying to find yourself and your purpose. Please know that you are valuable and worthy no matter what. You can overcome this vicious cycle of self-hate. A great place to start is to chat online with one of our HopeCoaches or signing up for an email mentor to talk through some of the struggles you are having. If you go to https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp/ you can chat, sign up or do both. Please know we care and that you are not alone!
Why would God lovea piece of crap like me? The way I am and the thoughts that run through my head only God knows what I’m talking about so why would he even love me? I wish he could clean my soul and thoughts and save me from me.
Ivan, When we are in so much pain, hurt and hate ourselves it’s hard to understand how much God truly loves us. The truth is that God loves you with all his heart. He understands the pain you are feeling. He is there for you. He’ll be your comfort and your strength when you’re feeling bad about yourself. Don’t be afraid to trust in Him. Ivan, we think you would benefit from having an email mentor that can help you understand how worthy you are and they will also listen to you and help you through the thoughts you are having. Would you take the next step and sign up for an email mentor? To sign up go to https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/ Please give it a try. Also, if you are on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube, Dawson has a Live Prayer show 4 times a week. How about joining that community of people and let Dawson and them pray for you? Just visit this page for more information: https://www.thehopeline.com/theprayershow/ Lastly, we care and we believe in you.
Ivan, the good news is that you can save yourself from you!! Come to Jesus, he is waiting for you, with arms wide open, saying : Matthew 11:28-30 …28 Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”… He wants to do exactly what you are wishing for, to transform your thoughts into good, healthy, wholesome thoughts, as he is gently washing away all the bad thoughts and things that you have encounterd in your short lifetime, that is why it is called being born again from above, he wants to remove all the lies the enemy has spoken and replace them with truth, so that you can begin to rebuild your life upon the rock, which is him, and not on sinking sand, the Hopeline mentor is giving you great advice, I urge you to take it, and get started on your heavenly journey!!
I hate myself so much, I’m a compulsive procrastinator, which gets me shouted at by my parents and teachers. My mum always makes me feel like trash when this happens, she mentions how my friends are doing well and I will never be anything in life. This then pushes me into deep depression for a while, making me not want to do anything at all which results in more procrastination etc.
I’m stuck in this loop of self hatred, I can’t see how people stand me and I know that in the end I will fail in life.
I don’t know what to do
George, No matter how many or what mistakes you have made you are worthy and valuable. It can be a vicious cycle, however, you can overcome it! We are here for you and we truly want to listen to what is going on in your life and offer you some ways to deal with it.
Would you be willing to chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine today? You can chat with one of our HopeCoaches about what is going on at http://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp. Also, you would really benefit from having an email mentor. It would be someone that you can email back and forth with to discuss what is going on in your life. They will encourage you and help you with some of the things you are dealing with for as long as you like. To sign up to get an email mentor go to: https://www.thehopeline.com/emailmentors/
Hi George, I believe you have definitely come to the right place. I just found this site, and I am loving what I am seeing, I urge you to take what they are offering, and begin on your path toward healing and wholeness, transformed from within, by the power of God. Your mom means well by trying to hold up your friends to you as a good example (this shows you are doing something right or you would not have friends that she wants to use as an example – go you!!) but she is missing the boat when she tells you that you are never going to amount to anything………this is horrible advice from a mother. This would push anyone into depression. BUT, the good news is that it is totally and completely untrue. And the best way to prove to her that it is, is to put all your effort into being the best you possible. As you learn more about how to do this, you will begin to bloom. Change is possible, all we need is the want to and good direction. Get started on your journey by contacting the links provided, Good luck and God bless.
Hi, I m 21years. In my life i have always tried my best to let people around me get the best of me but inside i dont know i feel like i m hurt somewhere, and i dont like others to show my weaknesses and my depression. But on the inside i was like hating myself for being so much self righteous, i regret instantly if i do something wrong to others but i dont say a word maybe its my ego, but i m really hurt deep inside. i dont know whats wrong with me?
Hi Ranger, the good news is that no matter what the problem is a solution can always be found for it, and from what I have seen in the short time I have been on this site, you have come to the right place to get the help that you are seeking. I highly encourage you to contact the links provided, and get started on your journey to healing and wholeness. God and caring people can help you to turn things around for your good. Good luck and God bless.
I also suffer mild depression and and anxiety. Also I am dyslexic.
Hi Carley, I believe you have come to the right place to find the help that you are needing, contact the links provided and get started on a path of healing and wholeness, good luck and God bless.