You Can Turn Away from Compulsive Lying
In This Episode:
Since mankind began, lying has been a tragic part of our lives. So awful is it, so terrible is its consequences, God forbids it in the 10 commandments. He said, do not lie (Leviticus 19:11). And in Proverbs 12:22, God spoke again and said, “Lying lips are abomination to the LORD.” Yet, all of us have told lies and at some time or another lived a lie.
The more we speak truth, the happier we will be. Yet, sadly some people are compulsive liars. A compulsive liar is someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small.
For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Nonetheless a compulsive liar suffers greatly.
Take Hunter for example, he said, “I can’t stop lying…even about stupid things. It breaks my mom’s heart that I keep lying to her. I hate that I’m doing this to her and I hate that I do it. I feel like I am going to earn a reputation as a liar and that’s the last thing I want. I hate myself.” Hunter needs a miracle in his life. His lying is destroying him, just as lying is interfering in 3 other people’s lives whom I spoke with. I talked with Lee, Jason, and Ellie, who in one way or another are caught up in the world of lying
Trying to Come Out of the Liar’s Closet
Lee has a compulsive lying problem and has been dealing with it for 10 years. She tried to get some help from a counselor but once she admitted her problem, she felt judged and second-guessed.
Lee is uncomfortable and angry. She’s trying to come out of the liar’s closet. She’s letting the world know about her dirty little secret, that she is a compulsive liar.
Lying has become part of Lee’s lifestyle for at least 10 years now. The habit isn’t going to go away just because she wants it to. It takes at least 66 days to change a habit. That’s a long time when you’re an addicted liar. She’s now coming to grips with what it will cost her to get free. It won’t be easy. Lying has become a part of her life. She uses it whenever she wants or needs to. Most of the time she lies just to lie, when telling the truth would be much easier.
Living in Your Own Personal Hell
One of the major consequences Lee must face is knowing no one believes her anymore. Her friends and family can’t trust her and they deeply resent her. No one likes to be played or lied to but the compulsive liar is playing people most of the time.
Lee has dug a big hole. She lives in her own personal hell. Lying has provided a place, where she can be in charge of her own reality. But when caught, unveils her rage about her situation. Lee is like a trapped animal, she’s angry and will blame anybody anywhere, except herself. She refuses to take responsibility for her deep, troubling issues.
My prayers are with Lee, I feel sorry she’s in such a predicament. But with God’s help, she can break out of 10 years of compulsive lying. She has her work cut out for her, it will be painful, but there is still light at the end of the tunnel. Let’s all pray, she will succeed.
Wherever You Go, You Take Your Issues with You
Jason moved to try to get away from his troubles but his lying issue followed him. He has been trying to make a U-turn but no one believes anything he says.
I like Jason but he easily cons himself. He moved away from his hometown, thinking that would help him but he doesn’t get it. The truth is wherever Jason goes, he takes his issues with him. Changing locations won’t cure lying.
Jason is caught up in the old lying trap. He’s living a wild lifestyle but wants to cover it up. He has to tell lies to do that. But then he has to tell lies to cover the lies. He’s exhausted, partying away and continually lying to cover it up. He’s living a lie and his lies are killing him.
Time to Come Clean and Face Up to the Lies
Now, it’s time for him to come clean with his brother and sister-in-law. He thought he’d fooled them but they could smell the alcohol. It’s not easy to confess to the people you’ve lied to because you’ve tried to paint them as fools. So, it takes tremendous amount of humility and courage to face up to what you’ve been doing. Liars are smooth talkers but to confess to others means to set aside their smooth-talking tools to speak the truth and that’s not easy.
Jason doesn’t understand just how deep his love of lying goes. He, like most of us, doesn’t understand how evil his heart really is. The Bible says, “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?” Jeremiah 17:9
It’s a common mistake we humans make to think our hearts are a great deal better than they really are. The truth of the matter is, we are a mess. To tell the truth to ourselves, about ourselves is one of the most important things we can do. To lie to ourselves and to others is to act like Satan. Jesus was talking to religious leaders of the day who thought they were righteous because of the good works they did. Jesus set them straight. He told them:
“You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44
Good news for Jason, He is starting to tell the truth about himself and that means he’s on his way to freedom.
Are You Buying into Someone’s Lies?
Elli’s boyfriend lies to her all the time about anything and everything. She can’t trust him at all and it’s destroying their relationship. She can’t bring herself to break up with him even though she knows it can never work because he always lies to her.
Relationships Need Trust and Respect
Elli was willing for a long time to buy into her boyfriend’s lies. Why, because he has an awesome personality, is persuasive, and the lies he tells are powerful. She may think they have a great relationship but without trust and respect there isn’t one. A relationship controlled by lies is nothing more than a front. Perhaps if Elli leaves him, it will be a wake-up call and he’ll be forced to examine his own pathetic issues. There is hope for him if he turns away from a life of lying to a life of following Christ.
Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?
All of us in some way in another are liars, none of us are perfect. My hope is whether we have told small or big lies, we will hate it for what it is and what it’s done in ours and other people’s lives. And so, we too will turn away from lying and trust in Christ to help us walk in the truth. Remember, the more you speak truth, the happier you will be!
Resources for Lying:
- Check out my eBook: Understanding Lying.
- Check out my blogs: Why do People Lie, Exactly?, How Lying Hurts You, How to Stop Lying, The Value of Living an Honest Life, Top Two Reasons You Should Stop Lying Plus How Liars Get Caught, Different Types of Lies and Liars, and 8 Types of Lies that People Tell
- Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor, an online coach who will email you and come along beside you to offer support.
- Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the ThePrayerZone.com and check it out.
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Join me for my next episode on anxiety. Having some anxiety is normal but for some people, it becomes so frequent, and forceful, that it takes over their lives and affects their ability to function. In this episode, I talk with Iva – who doesn’t really know why he has anxiety, Allison – who is way overloaded with emotional trauma, and Matthew – who has suffered from anxiety attacks and even thought at one time he might die but has found strength in God.
Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!