Does My Best Friend Like or Love Me? Signs to Know

I talk a lot about how people seem to be in such a hurry to rush into a dating relationship. I always emphasize how important it is to develop a strong friendship as a foundation before heading into romance. Say you've done this, what's next?

Lucy asked our first 'best guy friend' question:

Does my best guy friend like me as more than just a friend? And how do I know if he is falling in love with me?

Maybe you are wondering, "Is this really love?"

Friendship and dating are very important. In the end, best friends make great marriages. That being said, since you didn't say what your feelings are for this guy, I'm guessing you don't have romantic feelings for him. So for him, this is unquestionably a very delicate situation.

If he is actually falling in love with you, he's probably scared and nervous about you finding out, since he doesn't know how you'll respond.

He doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize the friendship you already have. That's a good thing.  Friendships are priceless and need protecting and nurturing so they will grow.

Here are a couple of questions you may want to ask yourself:

1. When you talk with your friend about other people who you are dating, or are interested in, is he supportive and encouraging, or does he become quiet and distant?

  • A friend will be supportive, but someone whose emotions are clouded with the possibility of being in love will tend to have a more emotional response.

2. Does he want to spend time only with you, or is he okay doing things with you and others? 

  • A friend is willing to share you with others, but someone who is trying to balance their emotional feelings toward you may tend to be a bit more possessive.

In the end, you will need to communicate with each other and define what your relationship really is.

Even though it may hurt him, if you don't have the same feelings for him that he has for you, knowing the truth is always better than not.

However you feel about him, I'm sure what you tell him will be filled with love and respect. After all, a good close friend of the opposite sex is priceless.

Rebecca brings us our next question about moving from friendship to dating:

How can you tell if the friendship should go to the next level?

The decision to take a friendship to the next level, from friendship to a dating relationship, has to be mutual. Both sides have to agree that they want to go deeper with the other person.

These Things Have to Be Talked Out.

Unless they are talked out, there can be confusion and hurt feelings. So whoever brings up the subject has put themselves in somewhat of a vulnerable position. Yet, good friendships can endure these trying times.

The Best Thing I Can Tell You is to Be Patient.

Let the relationship grow, and when you feel like you're ready, I'd encourage you to find a time when the two of you are alone, and try bringing up the topic. With a friendship based on honesty and trust, you will be able to face the challenge of being vulnerable.

The Right Thing to Say:

Try saying something like, "You're a great friend, and I don't ever want that to change. And honestly, I've always wondered if this friendship would ever turn into something deeper. But I'm not sure how we would know. Do you have any ideas?" Asking him for his opinion is a great way to show you value what he thinks and feels, and you'll find out if you're on track.

Let's assume for a moment that your guy friend agrees with you about taking the relationship to the next level. What then should you do? I would encourage you to sit down together and make a list of the things you have been doing that have made your friendship so strong. Commit to keep doing them, and your relationship will automatically grow. But be extremely careful about becoming very affectionate and sexual with each other. I have seen so many potentially great relationships ruined by the misuse of sex. As someone once said, if you settle for cheap sex, you will never discover priceless love.

Life is short. So be open and honest with your feelings, but be prepared for them not to be reciprocated. But with him knowing how you feel, you very well might open the door for him to start seeing you in a different, more romantic light.

 Still wondering if the feelings are mutual? Read this blog to find out if it's really love. 

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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75 comments on “Does My Best Friend Like or Love Me? Signs to Know”

  1. Hey so I told my Bestfriend about talking to this boy and when I did he messaged the guy and got a little protective. I guess you could say we're friends with benefits. But do you think he has actual feelings for me?

  2. Mine is kinda complicated but ive been dating this guy for about 2 months and me and his best friend are really close, we talk on the phone for at least 3 or 4 hours a night. I think he might have feelings for me just because of the way he acts but he is also dating my best friend. I don't know. I think i should just leave it and let his feelings go away, if he even has them. What do you all think?

  3. Alright I've got this awkward situation. So I've got s boyfriend for almost 3 years and a guy best friend from school, knew him longer than my boyfriend and know him well. He bought a puppy from me and we walk the dogs everyday. I hang out with his mates sometimes. But few days ago, he said he doesn't want to make things awkward between us but I really like you.
    It's quiete a shame because I did see him as a friend only. I don't know what to do, help..

  4. Hi! My guy best friend always tells me that he doesn't want to lose his best friend that is why he doesn't want to take me as his girlfriend. He's afraid that we might break up if we become boyfriend-and-girlfriend. But he admitted that taking me as his girlfriend has crossed his mind many times. Why is he like this?

  5. I honestly think my best friend (I don't even know if he still is) are having major argument at the moment and I just want to let him know how I really feel but right now is hair so stressful thinking about this whole thing.

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