Does My Best Friend Like or Love Me? Signs to Know

I talk a lot about how people seem to be in such a hurry to rush into a dating relationship. I always emphasize how important it is to develop a strong friendship as a foundation before heading into romance. Say you've done this, what's next?

Lucy asked our first 'best guy friend' question:

Does my best guy friend like me as more than just a friend? And how do I know if he is falling in love with me?

Maybe you are wondering, "Is this really love?"

Friendship and dating are very important. In the end, best friends make great marriages. That being said, since you didn't say what your feelings are for this guy, I'm guessing you don't have romantic feelings for him. So for him, this is unquestionably a very delicate situation.

If he is actually falling in love with you, he's probably scared and nervous about you finding out, since he doesn't know how you'll respond.

He doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize the friendship you already have. That's a good thing.  Friendships are priceless and need protecting and nurturing so they will grow.

Here are a couple of questions you may want to ask yourself:

1. When you talk with your friend about other people who you are dating, or are interested in, is he supportive and encouraging, or does he become quiet and distant?

  • A friend will be supportive, but someone whose emotions are clouded with the possibility of being in love will tend to have a more emotional response.

2. Does he want to spend time only with you, or is he okay doing things with you and others? 

  • A friend is willing to share you with others, but someone who is trying to balance their emotional feelings toward you may tend to be a bit more possessive.

In the end, you will need to communicate with each other and define what your relationship really is.

Even though it may hurt him, if you don't have the same feelings for him that he has for you, knowing the truth is always better than not.

However you feel about him, I'm sure what you tell him will be filled with love and respect. After all, a good close friend of the opposite sex is priceless.

Rebecca brings us our next question about moving from friendship to dating:

How can you tell if the friendship should go to the next level?

The decision to take a friendship to the next level, from friendship to a dating relationship, has to be mutual. Both sides have to agree that they want to go deeper with the other person.

These Things Have to Be Talked Out.

Unless they are talked out, there can be confusion and hurt feelings. So whoever brings up the subject has put themselves in somewhat of a vulnerable position. Yet, good friendships can endure these trying times.

The Best Thing I Can Tell You is to Be Patient.

Let the relationship grow, and when you feel like you're ready, I'd encourage you to find a time when the two of you are alone, and try bringing up the topic. With a friendship based on honesty and trust, you will be able to face the challenge of being vulnerable.

The Right Thing to Say:

Try saying something like, "You're a great friend, and I don't ever want that to change. And honestly, I've always wondered if this friendship would ever turn into something deeper. But I'm not sure how we would know. Do you have any ideas?" Asking him for his opinion is a great way to show you value what he thinks and feels, and you'll find out if you're on track.

Let's assume for a moment that your guy friend agrees with you about taking the relationship to the next level. What then should you do? I would encourage you to sit down together and make a list of the things you have been doing that have made your friendship so strong. Commit to keep doing them, and your relationship will automatically grow. But be extremely careful about becoming very affectionate and sexual with each other. I have seen so many potentially great relationships ruined by the misuse of sex. As someone once said, if you settle for cheap sex, you will never discover priceless love.

Life is short. So be open and honest with your feelings, but be prepared for them not to be reciprocated. But with him knowing how you feel, you very well might open the door for him to start seeing you in a different, more romantic light.

 Still wondering if the feelings are mutual? Read this blog to find out if it's really love. 

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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75 comments on “Does My Best Friend Like or Love Me? Signs to Know”

  1. My bff ask whether a girl and a boy can be bff without falking in love with each other before we being bff officially. And i said yes. And thats not my answer after 6 months. Should i wait how long before confess to her?

  2. Look if your friend is hetero and you'r too it is really difficult to be just friends. My story is really sad. We were friend for 2 years. In the first year I was in love with him but I thought that he was not. Then in 2. year I gave up loving him we were just friends. But 3 days later I found out that he was in love with me since that he saw me. But now I haven't got that feeling for him. "I'm sorry belive in me I love you but not in that way" (sorry for all grammer faults my english in not good enough)

  3. My best friend (male) likes me, and I used to like him. He's a kind person and we share interests. Yet today I found out the guy I like is dating. I'm not sure how to feel about this. Meanwhile, my other guy friend is convincing him to ask me out. I'm losing interest in my crush. What do I do?

  4. So I have a guy bestfriend. But I like him more than just a friend we have dated for 4 years. And were still bestfriends today he has a girlfriend though.I like him alot what should I do?

  5. I liked a boy and idk if he liked me back but I became his second best friend (over his best "guy" friend) and I don't know if he likes me back but he always does weird stuff that he didn't do before and I am confused if he likes me he tried dating and talked to me about love/breakups/dating and then I moved from that school. I want to contact him but I'm afraid that he won't feel the same but I'm young and in middle school maybe we can be more than friends in the future.

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