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Divorce

How to Deal with Your Parents’ Divorce

Divorce affects everyone in the family and is one of the toughest challenges one will face. More than a breakup, the life-altering changes divorce brings is deeply painful for everyone involved.

Whether your parents’ divorce has come as a complete shock or you’ve seen the signs for many years, it’s extremely hard to see your parents turn away from each other with such finality. The fact is you are an innocent bystander, experiencing a tragedy to those closest to you. You will not experience this without it having a profound effect on you. 

Know that you don’t have to face it alone. We’re here to support you through it. We listen to how you are feeling, and offer guidance, prayer, coping strategies, and want you to know – you can get through this and make it to the other side.
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The Pain Is real.

Hurt. Pain. Rejection. Anger. Abandonment…all emotions that can come into play when your family is going through a divorce.

Whatever you are feeling, it can be so hard to talk about it. But it’s so important to talk about how you are feeling. You don’t want to bottle up your emotions because at some point they have to come out. It’s best to talk about them so you can face them and not just survive but overcome!

Physical

The process of going through a divorce can be very stressful, whether you wanted the divorce or not. Because it is so mentally taxing, you may notice that your physical energy gets depleted at a much faster rate than normal. Frequent headaches, upset stomach and difficulty sleeping are all common experiences while going through a divorce.

Emotional

So many aspects of your life are tangled together when going through a divorce. For instance...children, financial assets, living arrangements and even divided friendships are all very difficult situations to work through, leaving your emotions in overdrive. You may also be dealing with heartbreak, anger, and bitterness, all while trying to negotiate legal matters. This can be a heavy load which may lead to depression and anxiety.

Spiritual

When a divorce takes place, it's important to understand that where two people had been united as one they are now split into two separate units again. This is a painful process for your spirit to go through. Allowing yourself to go through the stages of grief is a necessary step to bring your spirit into a place of wholeness again.

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You aren't alone.

Check out these stories of hope from others who have struggled with this issue.

Betrayal and Love

If one parent cheated on the other or has started seeing someone else before the divorce is even final, it can feel like an outright betrayal to you. But your parent is not purposefully doing it to hurt you. 

Yes, they might be being selfish. Yes, they might not be thinking about the consequences of their actions. Yes, they may be outright trying to hurt your other parent… but they love you and want the best for you, despite all that’s going on.

Guilt Versus Responsibility

No matter the circumstances surrounding your parent’s divorce…IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. Even if you’ve taken sides in the past, or been favorable to one parent over the other, it’s not your fault….it never was and it never will be. 

You are not responsible for any of your parents’ choices, and especially not for their divorce. They are adults who chose to get married and now have chosen to separate and divorce.


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You Can Feel Whole Again After Divorce

The journey to wholeness after a divorce is long and hard, but it can happen. You can face painful emotions and circumstances while still leading a full life. Because you don’t have to go it alone.

Help during, in the middle of the craziness, and after your parents’ divorce is available through TheHopeLine. 
Spiritual Practice
Both during the process and after your divorce has become final, it is important to stay focused on the future rather than dwelling in the past. It's easy to get stuck in a vicious cycle of either blaming yourself or your ex-spouse for the situation. This cycle will create either shame (when blaming yourself) or bitterness (when blaming your ex). Shame and bitterness can destroy hope and leave you believing your life will remain a disaster. Please know that God still has good things planned for you. As it says in the Bible, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11. Look to God and His plans.

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