If you’ve been abandoned, you’ve experienced deeper pain than most people can understand. You probably feel isolated and afraid that something similar may happen in the future. The fear and pain is even greater when a relationship that was supposed to be close or intimate ends in abandonment.

But your abandonment is not your fault. You can gain greater understanding of it. You can heal from it. And you can move forward.

Has Someone Abandoned You?

Abandonment happens when someone charged or entrusted to help meet your needs or keep you safe has failed to do so, either because they were unable or unwilling to do so. Your experience of abandonment may be:

Physical: Leaving someone without necessities and/or alone in an unsafe and unfamiliar environment. Abandonment often coincides with neglect so that safe and clean food, water, shelter, clothing, or living conditions are difficult to maintain or impossible to access.

Emotional: Someone may share a home, a family, or a relationship with you, but be unwilling or unable to do their share to care for and meet your emotional needs. Emotional abandonment is common when parents divorce, when someone is in the grip of addiction, or when they are living with a severe, unmedicated, or untreated mental illness

Spiritual: Spiritual abandonment happens when someone entrusted with your religious or pastoral care has neglected to help you, or has harmed you in a way that prevents or turns you away from your faith. People often feel spiritually abandoned if their faith community has ignored their concerns, has mistreated them without consequences, or has harshly condemned or judged them.

Abandonment and Abuse

Abandonment causes undeserved and inappropriate pain and suffering. Even if abandonment happens because someone  is mentally “checked out” (rather than harming or neglecting you out of malice or cruelty), the hurt caused by abandonment is a type of abuse. It’s important that you do whatever you can to get help as soon as possible if you see any signs of abandonment in your relationships.

Reconnect and Renew

Even if you have many positive relationships, abandonment is traumatic and it can make you feel like you have no one to turn to. So how do you heal from that?

Professional Guidance: Being abandoned is not good for your physical or mental health. Do your best to make and keep appointments with your doctor or therapist.

Spiritual Practice: The pain of spiritual abandonment is among the most difficult. But there is always hope. Scripture promises that God will “never leave you, nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6). If you feel like you’ve lost your faith, don’t despair. There are people who care and who are ready to pray for you anytime.

Caring for Yourself: In whatever ways you can, make essential self-care tasks your priority. Eat when you’re hungry, stay hydrated, and get good rest whenever possible. When you start to feel overwhelmed, do simple things you enjoy to help you stay grounded as you heal.

Abandonment is painful to face and difficult to overcome. TheHopeLine offers a community of support to help you understand and process your abandonment and move toward safety, stability, and connection.

Through blogs, eBooks, stories, podcasts, find answers to these kinds of questions and much more:

  • Do I suffer from feelings of Abandonment?
  • How can I overcome my feelings of abandonment?
  • What does abandonment have to do with my addiction?
  • Why am I looking for love in all the wrong places?

Most Recent Blogs on Abandonment

Dealing With Abandonment

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I’ve written blogs about physical, sexual, and verbal/emotional abuse, but there is one more kind of abuse I’d like to address…neglect and abandonment. What Is Neglect and Abandonment? You can be considered neglected or abandoned when you don’t know where your parents are, if they have left you alone, or..Read more

How To Deal With Father Hunger

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I’ve had a few fears about writing this blog. I’ve been afraid it would become too heavy and few people would read it. Then I received your incredible, meaningful, and insightful comments on Father Hunger. I realized then, trying to find healing from Father Hunger is a big, big deal...Read more

Sex and Father Hunger

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Sex and Father Hunger I’ve been thinking a lot about why girls give in to guys.  It’s almost at epidemic proportions.  I am saddened when I hear about so many girls who thought they were in love become devastated by giving in to guys when it wasn’t love at all.  So..Read more

Reaching Out For A Father

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Reaching Out for a Father Last week I spent quite a bit of time talking about dealing with Father Hunger. There was so much more I wanted to say. I mean we could spend hours talking about this important issue. So I want to add a couple more thoughts about..Read more

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Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

A guide to understanding the basics of Christianity and a meaningful relationship with God.  Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come […]

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