How To Grow and Reconnect After Abandonment

If you’ve been abandoned, you’ve experienced deeper pain than most people can understand. You probably feel isolated and afraid that something similar may happen in the future. The fear and pain is even greater when a relationship that was supposed to be close or intimate ends in abandonment.

But your abandonment is not your fault. You can gain greater understanding of it. You can heal from it. And you can move forward.

Has Someone Abandoned You?

Abandonment happens when someone charged or entrusted to help meet your needs or keep you safe has failed to do so, either because they were unable or unwilling to do so. Your experience of abandonment may be:

Physical: Leaving someone without necessities and/or alone in an unsafe and unfamiliar environment. Abandonment often coincides with neglect so that safe and clean food, water, shelter, clothing, or living conditions are difficult to maintain or impossible to access.

Emotional: Someone may share a home, a family, or a relationship with you, but be unwilling or unable to do their share to care for and meet your emotional needs. Emotional abandonment is common when parents divorce, when someone is in the grip of addiction, or when they are living with a severe, unmedicated, or untreated mental illness

Spiritual: Spiritual abandonment happens when someone entrusted with your religious or pastoral care has neglected to help you, or has harmed you in a way that prevents or turns you away from your faith. People often feel spiritually abandoned if their faith community has ignored their concerns, has mistreated them without consequences, or has harshly condemned or judged them.

Abandonment and Abuse

Abandonment causes undeserved and inappropriate pain and suffering. Even if abandonment happens because someone  is mentally “checked out” (rather than harming or neglecting you out of malice or cruelty), the hurt caused by abandonment is a type of abuse. It’s important that you do whatever you can to get help as soon as possible if you see any signs of abandonment in your relationships.

Reconnect and Renew

Even if you have many positive relationships, abandonment is traumatic and it can make you feel like you have no one to turn to. So how do you heal from that?

Professional Guidance: Being abandoned is not good for your physical or mental health. Do your best to make and keep appointments with your doctor or therapist.

Spiritual Practice: The pain of spiritual abandonment is among the most difficult. But there is always hope. Scripture promises that God will “never leave you, nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6). If you feel like you’ve lost your faith, don’t despair. There are people who care and who are ready to pray for you anytime.

Caring for Yourself: In whatever ways you can, make essential self-care tasks your priority. Eat when you’re hungry, stay hydrated, and get good rest whenever possible. When you start to feel overwhelmed, do simple things you enjoy to help you stay grounded as you heal.

Abandonment is painful to face and difficult to overcome. TheHopeLine offers a community of support to help you understand and process your abandonment and move toward safety, stability, and connection.

Through blogs, eBooks, stories, podcasts, find answers to these kinds of questions and much more:

  • Do I suffer from feelings of Abandonment?
  • How can I overcome my feelings of abandonment?
  • What does abandonment have to do with my addiction?
  • Why am I looking for love in all the wrong places?

Most Recent Blogs on Abandonment

Healing During Grief: 6 Types of Loss That Will Cause Grieving

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When I say the word “grief” what comes to mind? Chances are, a time of sadness after losing a loved one, friend, or family pet to death. But death isn’t the only difficult life event that causes grief. There are other situations you may experience that can bring on the..Read more

Divorce Support: Your Parents’ Divorce Will Always Affect You

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The pain of divorce and the toll it takes on everyone in the family never really go away in the years following.  I’ve talked to many people about their parents’ divorce who said, “I had no idea all the ways it would impact my life and my feelings, even years..Read more

Releasing Lies and Experiencing Freedom

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When I was in my late teens, my oldest brother PJ—short for Paul Jr.—passed away from leukemia at the age of 23. My life was forever altered. The “normal” I had known up to this point was gone and I, along with my family, was going to have to endure..Read more

Family Addiction: I’m Angry About My Parent’s Addiction

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Living with a parent who is addicted to drugs, alcohol, or other harmful substances and behaviors is hard – and it doesn’t get easier as we get older. If you’re one of the estimated 17 million people who has grown up with an addicted parent, you’re probably angry about their..Read more

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Stories on Abandonment :

Finding Hope After Abuse from Her Father

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Life of Abuse I was raised in a very dysfunctional family. My parents fought all the time and my dad was very abusive in all ways. My mom took this abuse all through the marriage for 32 years. I had no choice but to live with this. I only had..Read more

Abandoned: My Life Now Has Hope

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Felt It Was My Fault My Dad Left When my dad left 5 years ago, I started feeling like it was my fault that he left. I have been feeling like this for a long time. These feelings led to depression and anxiety. Abandoned Again Then I started feeling really..Read more

Grief: I Lost My Little Brother to Cancer

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I Lost My Little Brother Two years ago my brother, Kevin, died. He died from a brain tumor called a Diffused Intrinsic Pontine Glioma (DIPG). My brother meant the world to me. He was younger than me and we loved to do everything together. He loved superheroes…Ironman and Batman were his..Read more

Resources for Abandonment :

Spiritual Perspective :

Verses of Hope

Free eBooks

ebook-resources

Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

A guide to understanding the basics of Christianity and a meaningful relationship with God.  Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come […]

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