How To Grow and Reconnect After Abandonment

If you’ve been abandoned, you’ve experienced deep pain. You could be feeling isolated and afraid that something similar may happen in the future. The fear and pain is even greater when a relationship that was supposed to be close or intimate ends in abandonment.

Being abandoned is not your fault. You can gain greater understanding of what’s happened. You can heal from it. And you can move forward.

Has Someone Abandoned You?

Abandonment happens when someone charged or entrusted to help meet your needs or keep you safe has failed to do so, either because they were unable or unwilling to do so. Your experience of abandonment may be:

Physical: Leaving someone without necessities and/or alone in an unsafe and unfamiliar environment. Abandonment often coincides with neglect so that safe and clean food, water, shelter, clothing, or living conditions are difficult to maintain or impossible to access.

Emotional: Someone may share a home, a family, or a relationship with you, but be unwilling or unable to do their share to care for and meet your emotional needs. Emotional abandonment is common when parents divorce, when someone is in the grip of addiction, or when they are living with a severe, unmedicated, or untreated mental illness

Spiritual: Spiritual abandonment happens when someone entrusted with your religious or pastoral care has neglected to help you, or has harmed you in a way that prevents or turns you away from your faith. People often feel spiritually abandoned if their faith community has ignored their concerns, has mistreated them without consequences, or has harshly condemned or judged them.

Abandonment and Abuse

Abandonment causes undeserved and inappropriate pain and suffering. Even if abandonment happens because someone is mentally “checked out” (rather than harming or neglecting you out of malice or cruelty), the hurt caused by abandonment is a type of abuse. It’s important for you to get help as soon as possible.

Reconnect and Renew

Even if you have many positive relationships, abandonment is traumatic and it can make you feel like you have no one to turn to. So how do you heal from that?

Professional Guidance: Being abandoned is not good for your physical or mental health. Do your best to make and keep appointments with your doctor or therapist.

Spiritual Practice: Scripture promises that God will “never leave you, nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6). If you feel like you’ve lost your faith, don’t despair. There are people who care and who are ready to pray for you anytime.

Caring for Yourself: In whatever ways you can, make essential self-care tasks your priority. Eat when you’re hungry, stay hydrated, and get good rest whenever possible. When you start to feel overwhelmed, do simple things you enjoy to help you stay grounded as you heal.

Abandonment is painful to face and difficult to overcome. TheHopeLine offers a community of support to help you understand and process your abandonment and move toward safety, stability, and connection.

Through blogs, eBooks, stories, podcasts, find answers to these kinds of questions and much more:

  • Do I suffer from feelings of Abandonment?
  • How can I overcome my feelings of abandonment?
  • What does abandonment have to do with my addiction?
  • Why am I looking for love in all the wrong places?

FAQ on Abandonment:

How Do I Cope with Abandoning Parents?

Coping with being abandoned by your parents is difficult, but it is possible to heal and forgive. Forgiveness happens without “being okay with” abandonment. You can forgive from afar, without keeping people in your life who have neglected or abused you. It’s a process of deciding to forgive each day, not flipping a switch and being done. Forgiveness is for you. It frees up space in your heart for healing and processing, and keeps bitterness from spilling over into your other relationships.

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Most Recent Blogs on Abandonment

How to Forgive a Parent Who Abandoned You

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How to Have Good Relationships After Childhood Abandonment

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I've written blogs about physical, sexual, and verbal/emotional abuse, but there is one more kind of abuse I'd like to address...neglect and abandonment. First Understand What Is Neglect and Abandonment? You can be considered neglected or abandoned when you don't know where your parents are, if they have left you alone, or..Read more

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Stories on Abandonment :

Abandoned: My Life Now Has Hope

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Felt It Was My Fault My Dad Left When my dad left 5 years ago, I started feeling like it was my fault that he left. I have been feeling like this for a long time. These feelings led to depression and anxiety. Abandoned Again Then I started feeling really..Read more

I’m An Addict and I Felt All Alone

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I Felt Abandoned Hi. I’m Megan and I’m an Addict. I thought that was a weird word. I didn’t really ever think I was one. It’s a typical story really. But so hard for me to deal with. I was always an outcast when I was a kid. By the..Read more

Eating Disorder: I Stopped Eating to Become “Good Enough”

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I had to think long and hard about if I should share my story. Then I came to the conclusion that it would be worth it if it lets someone else know they aren’t alone, and it could be therapeutic for me. So here is my story and what led..Read more

Don’t Lose Hope In Tough Times. There Is More.

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When you're losing hope, it's not always helpful to have someone tell you what to do or explain where you went wrong. You need someone to listen, to be there for you, and to remind you that you were created for a purpose. I rediscovered my sense of hope in..Read more

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Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come through a relationship with Jesus. And this […]

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