Advice on Boyfriends: Finding One, Being Single, and More

Many young women come to TheHopeLine wondering how to build a great relationship with their boyfriend. Some single women can struggle with despair and depression, unsure whether they’ll ever find the right man for them.

If you’ve never been in a relationship before, you may not feel confident about dating. Maybe you’ve been in a lot of relationships, but none of them have worked out the way you planned.

If you’ve been through a lot of disappointment, it can be tempting to wonder where you’re going wrong. How do you know if you’re on the right track when it comes to having a healthy perspective on dating?

Finding the “Right” Boyfriend

Turn on a TV show or movie and you’ll quickly have a sense of how obsessed our culture can get with finding the “right person”. Billions of dollars are spent by women every year in an effort to maintain their appearance, bolster their confidence, or improve their social status, all in an effort to find a boyfriend who might be their soulmate.

But the truth is, there is no perfect relationship because there are no perfect people. And we can’t immediately know when we meet someone how the relationship will pan out. So, what can we do?

Finding a boyfriend starts with finding yourself, which can be both an inspiring and a challenging process that involves a lot of thinking and self-reflection:

  • Learn your priorities and convictions.
  • If you believe in God, think hard about how faith will factor into your relationship decisions.
  • Consider how your past difficulties (trauma, abuse, or toxic relationships)  might influence your views on yourself and your dating life.
  • Let go of unrealistic or unhealthy expectations about love, sex, romance, and relationships.
  • Ask for relationship advice from a mentor or therapist you can trust to give honest input.

The Blessings of Being Single

Despite our society’s insistence that finding a relationship is the ultimate key to “happily ever after”, joy and happiness can begin right now, whether you have a boyfriend or not. As you learn about yourself and what you’d like in your dating relationship, don’t forget to explore your interests and hobbies, reconnect with friends, and engage in things that you find meaningful.

Don’t make the mistake of tying your self-worth to your relationship status: you have a lot to offer the people around you, just as you are. Think of all the things you can do, places you can travel, and dreams you have always wanted to fulfill. Those don’t have to wait for a boyfriend; they can start happening now. Dating relationships can be great blessings, but you don’t need one before you can be truly happy and fulfilled.

Hope After a Boyfriend Has Hurt You

A relationship breaking up is never easy. It can leave you feeling isolated from people that you met and befriended through your boyfriend. It’s easy to feel like you wasted time loving the wrong person.

If your boyfriend was abusive or cheated on you with another person, the breakup can have added layers of pain. But you can find healing and hope – and there are plenty of people who care for you and value your presence in their life.

Before you begin a new relationship, reach out for help and support. Doing so can keep you from becoming bitter and give you the space to get the spiritual and emotional guidance you need to make sense of things and get back on the right path.

We have a variety of blogs, ebooks, podcasts, and other resources that can help you make good decisions about dating. Search our library for answers to your questions:

  • How do I handle a breakup?
  • How do I get over my ex?
  • How do I know if I’m dating the right person?
  • What do I do if my boyfriend is cheating on me?

Most Recent Blogs on Boyfriend

Relationship Reality Check: Is Your Relationship Unhealthy?


No matter how much you care about someone – whether it’s the person you’re dating, a close friend, or someone in your family – relationships can start to feel a little “off” over time. I’ve talked to so many people who didn’t realize they were in an unhealthy relationship until after..Read more

My Ex Won’t Leave Me Alone! Steps to Take


Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is hard to do. But it's even more difficult when your ex won't leave you alone after the breakup. I figure there are at least two different reasons why an ex won't let go. Either they want to get back together with you, or they..Read more

How Can I Ever Love Someone After I’ve Been Raised by a Narcissist?


Learning How to Heal After Narcissistic Abuse Narcissism is a type of mental illness that often has damaging effects on family relationships, especially when left untreated and unaddressed.  That’s because narcissists can develop abusive behavior patterns as an unhealthy way of trying to cope with their mental illness without proper support. The Mayo..Read more

How to Stay Resilient When Rejection From Friends, Family, or Relationships Is Hurting Your Self-Esteem


Finding New Ways to Be Fulfilled When you feel rejected by people you care about, your self-esteem can take a big hit, especially if it’s a pattern in your life. Over the years, I’ve noticed people reach out to me again and again about some of the most painful types of..Read more

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Bad Breakup: She Searched for an Easy, Painless Death


How I Found Hope from Suicidal Thoughts After My Breakup I went through a bad breakup in 2018. I was totally broken and devastated. I  am an only child to my parents, however, none of this came to my mind when I was suicidal. I searched for an easy, painless..Read more

Bad Breakup and Unhealthy Relationships


Crushed by a Breakup Text My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me and told me he had a date with some someone via text message. My son who loves him was as crushed as I was, as he felt as if he had lost a father. Through talking..Read more

I Can’t Let a Broken Heart Break My Life


My name is Megan. I broke up with my boyfriend.  We had a long-distance relationship for a year and a half. During that time, he would say how much he loved me and that he couldn’t live a life without me and everything will be perfect when we are finally..Read more

Inspired To Do What My Heart Wants


Overprotective parents. 22 and living with parents. Don’t get to go out. Don’t get to meet the love of my life. Pressurized to be the best in studies and not caring about my dreams. I stopped self cutting 3 years ago. Started today because of fight with boyfriend. It was..Read more

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Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

A guide to understanding the basics of Christianity and a meaningful relationship with God.  Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come […]

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