What To Do When You’re Cheated On – Tips & More

Cheating is one of the most devastating things that can happen in a romantic relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend has been unfaithful, it can feel like the world is crashing down on you. You undoubtedly feel betrayed, and the waves of pain and anger that hit after you find out about infidelity can seem unbearable. But you can find help. You can leave a toxic relationship, and regain wholeness.

Have You Been Cheated On?

While cheating most often refers to one person in the relationship having sex with someone outside the marriage or partnership, it’s possible to feel cheated on even if you and your boyfriend or girlfriend have never had sex. Violations of trust and boundaries, even when those actions are not sexual, is what makes people feel cheated and hurt.

In addition to sexual infidelity, If the person you’re dating has:

  • Kissed another person
  • Touched someone else intimately
  • Sent flirtatious or sexually suggestive pictures or messages via text, email or social media
  • Become addicted to pornography or masturbation (and does those things instead of sharing time or affection with you)
  • Lied to spend time with another person

It’s easy to feel betrayed. After all, you promised each other your faithfulness, and that promise was broken in a deceitful and hurtful way. But what do you do? How do you pick up the pieces after cheating has broken your relationship?

After Cheating: What to Do Next?

Being cheated on has many negative effects on your health and well-being—physical, emotional, and spiritual. So the best thing you can do in the immediate aftermath of cheating is to remove yourself from the toxicity that is causing you pain while you find healing.

What’s best for each person and each relationship may differ, but this kind of distance is necessary for victims of cheating to gain clarity and pursue self-care, apart from the person who’s hurt them.

  • Spend time with family and friends you can trust
  • Find encouragement from your Church or faith community
  • Talk to a mentor, therapist, or counselor about the cheating and how it makes you feel

Resuming Relationships After Cheating

It’s very important that your sources of support are healthy. The person who cheated on you may apologize after your breakup and try to take you back right away, perhaps with grand romantic gestures. But without changing their behavior or getting help themselves, your relationship could enter a cycle of more cheating, manipulation, lies, and emotional abuse. Follow the advice of your therapist or mentor when it comes to how, when, and if to re-engage with a boyfriend or girlfriend who has been unfaithful.

If you were the person who violated the trust of your boyfriend or girlfriend by cheating or other unfaithful and dishonest behavior, you may feel guilty or ashamed. That’s understandable, but don’t let it drive you to despair. Give your partner the space they need and do whatever you can to address the issues in your life that led you to these harmful behaviors. While you may not be able to resume your former relationship, getting help and making life changes can mean a healthier new relationship is possible in the future.

Whether you were hurt by someone cheating, or your infidelity has broken your dating or marriage relationship, the only person whose life you can truly transform after a broken relationship is your own. TheHopeLine is here to provide confidential help after cheating through mentors, live chat, and online prayer groups. Reach out today to start on the path to healing your heart.

We have a growing online library of resources (ebooks, podcasts, blogs and more) to help you pick up the pieces after cheating in your relationship. Search for answers to questions like:

  • How Do I Know if I’m Being Cheated On?
  • How Can I Talk to My Boyfriend or Girlfriend About Cheating?
  • I’ve Cheated in the Past— How Do I Avoid Cheating Again?

FAQ on Cheating:

Can a Relationship Go Back to Normal After Cheating?

"Whether a relationship can be saved after cheating is complicated, and depends on the answers to questions like: - What happened? - Were you safe with your partner? - How long has it been? - Have you sought advice? It's important not to rush back into a relationship after cheating has happened. especially if there's any risk that the relationship is only a cycle of cheating and abuse."

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Most Recent Blogs on Cheating

Can You Save Your Relationship After Cheating?

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Cheating and infidelity can destroy a relationship, but does that always have to happen? Unfortunately, I’ve had a lot of painful conversations with people about cheating: both those who have cheated and those whose partners have been unfaithful. After Cheating As far as whether you can save your relationship after cheating, there’s..Read more

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Dealing With a Cheating Girlfriend or Boyfriend   When the person you’re with has cheated, it does tremendous harm to a dating relationship. But if your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating, you don’t have to deal with this painful challenge alone. There is support, there is help. And there is hope for..Read more

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She Cheated and I Thought My World Ended

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Crazy in Love I met this girl. She had a smile that made me melt inside. I began talking to her every day and quickly fell in love. We’d been talking about getting married and it felt so certain. It was all I wanted. No. She was all I wanted...Read more

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You can heal after heartbreak. But it gets messy, and you have to be ready to reach out for support when you need it. Mike shared his personal story of heartbreak and healing with TheHopeLine. He was able to find hope and move past his emotional wounds. His story may..Read more

Red Flags, but Married Him Anyway

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Some people get divorced because abuse makes them feel unsafe. Others feel trapped by their partner’s addiction. Perhaps there has been infidelity in the relationship. Whatever the reason, divorce can be devastating for everyone in a family. Make sure you have the support you need. If you don’t know where..Read more

I Can’t Let a Broken Heart Break My Life

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I can't let a broken heart break my life. There is a choice between giving in to my pain or giving it all to God. I choose the second. I decided to let God give me the strength to endure my moment of pain, to let God walk with me..Read more

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Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come through a relationship with Jesus. And this […]

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