What To Do When You’re Cheated On – Tips & More

Cheating is one of the most devastating things that can happen in a romantic relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend has been unfaithful, it can feel like the world is crashing down on you. You undoubtedly feel betrayed, and the waves of pain and anger that hit after you find out about infidelity can seem unbearable. But you can find help. You can leave a toxic relationship, and regain wholeness.

Have You Been Cheated On?

While cheating most often refers to one person in the relationship having sex with someone outside the marriage or partnership, it’s possible to feel cheated on even if you and your boyfriend or girlfriend have never had sex. Violations of trust and boundaries, even when those actions are not sexual, is what makes people feel cheated and hurt.

In addition to sexual infidelity, If the person you’re dating has:

  • Kissed another person
  • Touched someone else intimately
  • Sent flirtatious or sexually suggestive pictures or messages via text, email or social media
  • Become addicted to pornography or masturbation (and does those things instead of sharing time or affection with you)
  • Lied to spend time with another person

It’s easy to feel betrayed. After all, you promised each other your faithfulness, and that promise was broken in a deceitful and hurtful way. But what do you do? How do you pick up the pieces after cheating has broken your relationship?

After Cheating: What to Do Next?

Being cheated on has many negative effects on your health and well-being—physical, emotional, and spiritual. So the best thing you can do in the immediate aftermath of cheating is to remove yourself from the toxicity that is causing you pain while you find healing.

What’s best for each person and each relationship may differ, but this kind of distance is necessary for victims of cheating to gain clarity and pursue self-care, apart from the person who’s hurt them.

  • Spend time with family and friends you can trust
  • Find encouragement from your Church or faith community
  • Talk to a mentor, therapist, or counselor about the cheating and how it makes you feel

Resuming Relationships After Cheating

It’s very important that your sources of support are healthy. The person who cheated on you may apologize after your breakup and try to take you back right away, perhaps with grand romantic gestures. But without changing their behavior or getting help themselves, your relationship could enter a cycle of more cheating, manipulation, lies, and emotional abuse. Follow the advice of your therapist or mentor when it comes to how, when, and if to re-engage with a boyfriend or girlfriend who has been unfaithful.

If you were the person who violated the trust of your boyfriend or girlfriend by cheating or other unfaithful and dishonest behavior, you may feel guilty or ashamed. That’s understandable, but don’t let it drive you to despair. Give your partner the space they need and do whatever you can to address the issues in your life that led you to these harmful behaviors. While you may not be able to resume your former relationship, getting help and making life changes can mean a healthier new relationship is possible in the future.

Whether you were hurt by someone cheating, or your infidelity has broken your dating or marriage relationship, the only person whose life you can truly transform after a broken relationship is your own. TheHopeLine is here to provide confidential help after cheating through mentors, live chat, and online prayer groups. Reach out today to start on the path to healing your heart.

We have a growing online library of resources (ebooks, podcasts, blogs and more) to help you pick up the pieces after cheating in your relationship. Search for answers to questions like:

  • How Do I Know if I’m Being Cheated On?
  • How Can I Talk to My Boyfriend or Girlfriend About Cheating?
  • I’ve Cheated in the Past— How Do I Avoid Cheating Again?

Most Recent Blogs on Cheating

How to Make Better Choices in Life

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Have you ever made a bad choice? There are certain choices that cost less, and others that cost you more. Do you want to know how to make better choices? Resist living by default Some of you make choices by default…whatever comes your way. Never allow life to make your decisions..Read more

Healing During Grief: 6 Types of Loss That Will Cause Grieving

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When I say the word “grief” what comes to mind? Chances are, a time of sadness after losing a loved one, friend, or family pet to death. But death isn’t the only difficult life event that causes grief. There are other situations you may experience that can bring on the..Read more

Four Slippery Steps to Adultery

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Progressive choices that lead to destruction. At work and church, in our neighborhoods and during our daily activities, we all encounter people of the opposite sex who are attractive. That’s not the problem. Our selfish choices after the attraction create the problem. Adultery has a progression and most people (even Christians)..Read more

Is Pornography Addiction Harming Your Relationship?

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I’ve talked to a lot of young couples about relationship issues, and pornography is coming up more and more. People feel trapped by it and don’t want to talk about it. But whenever they do open up, they begin to experience freedom. That freedom starts with understanding why porn use..Read more

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Podcasts about Cheating :

eBooks on Cheating :

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Abuse: Red Flags, but Married Him Anyway

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I Made a Bad Choice to Cover My Pain Before I married my husband, I lost someone who was my everything. He passed away, and I never coped with his loss.  I just wanted someone to love me and fill that spot in my heart. And that’s where my husband..Read more

I Can’t Let a Broken Heart Break My Life

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My name is Megan. I broke up with my boyfriend.  We had a long distance relationship for a year and a half. During that time, he would say how much he loved me and that he couldn’t live a life without me and everything will be perfect when we are..Read more

She Cheated and I Thought My World Ended

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Crazy in Love I met this girl. She had a smile that made me melt inside. I began talking to her every day and quickly fell in love. We’d been talking about getting married and it felt so certain. It was all I wanted. No. She was all I wanted...Read more

Cheating Boyfriend

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Tayla Had A Gut Feeling He Was A Cheating Boyfriend What would you do if you had a cheating boyfriend? “I found out that there was a high chance my boyfriend was cheating on me but unfortunately didn’t know for sure. So I was stressing out about how to go..Read more

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Resources for Cheating :

Spiritual Perspective :

Verses of Hope

Free eBooks

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Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

A guide to understanding the basics of Christianity and a meaningful relationship with God.  Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come […]

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Additional Resources

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