What To Do When You’re Cheated On – Tips & More

Cheating is one of the most devastating things that can happen in a romantic relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend has been unfaithful, it can feel like the world is crashing down on you. You undoubtedly feel betrayed, and the waves of pain and anger that hit after you find out about infidelity can seem unbearable. But you can find help. You can recover from being cheated on, and regain your self-worth.

Have You Been Cheated On?

While cheating most often refers to one person in the relationship having sex with someone outside the marriage or partnership, it’s possible to feel cheated on even if you and your boyfriend or girlfriend have never had sex. Violations of trust and boundaries, is what makes people feel cheated and hurt.

In addition to sexual infidelity, if the person you’re dating has:

  • Kissed another person
  • Touched someone else intimately
  • Sent flirtatious or sexually suggestive pictures or messages via text, email or social media
  • Become addicted to pornography or masturbation (and does those things instead of sharing time or affection with you)
  • Lied in order to spend time with another person

Cheating is a betrayal. After all, you promised each other your faithfulness, and that promise was broken in a deceitful and hurtful way. But what do you do? How do you pick up the pieces after cheating has broken your heart and hurt or destroyed relationship?

After Cheating: What to Do Next?

Being cheated on has many negative effects on your health and well-being—physical, emotional, and spiritual. So the best thing you can do in the immediate aftermath of cheating is to remove yourself from the toxicity that is causing you pain while you find healing.

What’s best for each person and each relationship may differ, but this kind of distance is necessary for victims of cheating to gain clarity and pursue self-care, apart from the person who’s hurt them.

  • Spend time with family and friends you can trust
  • Find encouragement from your Church or faith community
  • Talk to a mentor, therapist, or counselor about the cheating and how it makes you feel

Resuming Relationships After Cheating

It’s very important that your sources of support are healthy. The person who cheated on you may apologize after your breakup and try to take you back right away, perhaps with grand romantic gestures. But without changing their behavior or getting help themselves, your relationship could enter a cycle of more cheating, manipulation, lies, and emotional abuse. Follow the advice of your therapist or mentor when it comes to how, when, and if to re-engage with a boyfriend or girlfriend who has been unfaithful.

If you were the person who violated the trust of your boyfriend or girlfriend by cheating or other unfaithful and dishonest behavior, you may feel guilty or ashamed. That’s understandable, but don’t let it drive you to despair. Give your partner the space they need and do whatever you can to address the issues in your life that led you to these harmful behaviors. While you may not be able to resume your former relationship, getting help and making life changes can mean a healthier new relationship is possible in the future.

Whether you were hurt by someone cheating, or your infidelity has broken your relationship, the only person whose life you can truly transform after a broken relationship is your own. TheHopeLine is here to provide confidential help after cheating. Reach out today to start on the path to healing your heart.

We have a growing online library of resources (ebooks, podcasts, blogs and more) to help you pick up the pieces after cheating in your relationship. Search for answers to questions like:

  • How Do I Know if I’m Being Cheated On?
  • How Can I Talk to My Boyfriend or Girlfriend About Cheating?
  • I’ve Cheated in the Past— How Do I Avoid Cheating Again?

FAQ on Cheating:

Why Would Someone Cheat on Someone They Love?

Cheating is a harmful choice people make when they feel like: Their needs are unmet. Their partner doesn’t really love or accept them. They should be praised or appreciated for something, but are being ignored. They want more excitement or romance. They feel trapped or smothered in their relationship. These reasons don’t make cheating okay. But they could be helpful to consider if you’re consumed by hating the person who cheated on you, or if you’re wanting to forgive them in a healthy way.

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Most Recent Blogs on Cheating

Why Do Girls Cheat?

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The overall perception is that guys tend to cheat more than girls and that’s what the stats have shown…until recently. Now, there’s evidence that shows women are cheating more than they used to, and almost as much as men. Many of the reasons people cheat, whether male or female, are the..Read more

Why Do People Cheat on People They Love?

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What to Know About Cheating in Relationships Betrayal Hurts When someone you love and trust decides to hurt you, the pain cuts deep, so deep that the stories sometimes go down in history, whether they’re real or fictional. We know the stories of Olivia Rodrigo’s “Traitor,” Archie and Veronica in Riverdale, and..Read more

Can You Save Your Relationship After Cheating?

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Cheating and infidelity can destroy a relationship, but does that always have to happen? Unfortunately, I’ve had a lot of painful conversations with people about cheating: both those who have cheated and those whose partners have been unfaithful. After Cheating As far as whether you can save your relationship after cheating, there’s..Read more

My Boyfriend or Girlfriend Is Cheating: What Do I Do?

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Dealing With a Cheating Girlfriend or Boyfriend   When the person you’re with has cheated, it does tremendous harm to a dating relationship. But if your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating, you don’t have to deal with this painful challenge alone. There is support, there is help. And there is hope for..Read more

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Podcasts about Cheating :

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eBooks on Cheating :

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Stories on Cheating :

She Cheated and I Thought My World Ended

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Crazy in Love I met this girl. She had a smile that made me melt inside. I began talking to her every day and quickly fell in love. We’d been talking about getting married and it felt so certain. It was all I wanted. No. She was all I wanted...Read more

She Broke My Heart, Can I Heal Someday?

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You can heal after heartbreak. But it gets messy, and you have to be ready to reach out for support when you need it. Mike shared his personal story of heartbreak and healing with TheHopeLine. He was able to find hope and move past his emotional wounds. His story may..Read more

Red Flags, but Married Him Anyway

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Some people get divorced because abuse makes them feel unsafe. Others feel trapped by their partner’s addiction. Perhaps there has been infidelity in the relationship. Whatever the reason, divorce can be devastating for everyone in a family. Make sure you have the support you need. If you don’t know where..Read more

I Can’t Let a Broken Heart Break My Life

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I can't let a broken heart break my life. There is a choice between giving in to my pain or giving it all to God. I choose the second. I decided to let God give me the strength to endure my moment of pain, to let God walk with me..Read more

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Resources for Cheating :

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Verses of Hope

Free eBooks

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Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God

Free eBook: Understanding a Relationship with God Do You Feel Like Life is Meaningless? Are you wondering what your purpose is? Do you have questions about what Christians believe or what it means to be a Christian? At TheHopeLine we believe real and lasting HOPE can only come through a relationship with Jesus. And this […]

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